Results 1 to 4 of 4
Boyfriends tramadol relapse. VERY LONG but important Questions and help please.
  1. #1
    Pineapple75 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    4

    Default Boyfriends tramadol relapse. VERY LONG but important Questions and help please.

    Hello, I basically live with my boyfriend of a month shy of a year and his family. He previously had an addiction to Percocet, Vicodin & tramadol after he had a severe work injury to his face where he had to have extensive reconstructive surgery to his face, and after that, he became addicted to the pills he was prescribed to for his injury.
    He doesn't like talking about his addiction to me, and I honestly don't push it. He told me that he was an addict maybe a month in, but he tried breaking up with me over it because he said all he will do is weigh me down and I'm a good girl and he's not good for me.
    I told him I wasn't afraid and I would help him because he told me he wasn't currently taking anything.

    So, a little about me and our relationship. We had an amazing relationship. A ton of trust and extremely close and happy.
    I was probably a little dumb I guess. I didn't ask questions because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable but I always asked him no matter what, just tell me if he slipped up or thought about it. I told him I would never judge him or get mad at him, but I would help him because I honestly think a lot of addicts relapse. I just needed to know if it happened. I told him I was proud of every day he was ever clean and any day in the future he would be clean and I always made sure to tell him he could slip up a million times, because we're human and we make mistakes, just please don't let me find out on my own.

    Well, I started to notice he was getting weird. One night, he asked to see my phone (I thought he just wanted to see the screen, he actually wanted to go through it, which I also didn't mind) but he was being so weird and not making sense. He was going through it for 5 mins on his own without me seeing or asking anything, then I became concerned and sat next to him and I said 'are you okay?' And I felt his whole body started shaking and I said 'I can feel you shaking. What did I do to make you feel this way because I don't want you to feel like this' and he didn't respond.
    He started saying crazy things that weren't true. He started saying he was watching me on my phone right before that and I was talking to somebody on snapchat, which first of all, I never respond to anybody on snapchat besides my sister, and secondly, I hadn't been on there for hrs that night and it was when he went outside to smoke. I didn't even watch people I know, it was YouTube makeup artists that I follow.

    I told him what I was actually doing (I belong to a closed Facebook group for a chronic illness that I have and I was just reading posts) and I had even screen shot so many things so I had sent him texts of the screen shots because it showed the time at the top. I was doing it for about 2 hrs. Even when he thought I was on snapchat.
    He still swore I was on there.

    So i said 'ok, I guess I'll go through yours too' and I didn't really care to or expect to find anything honestly.
    But then I opened his texts and saw a text from a number the night before asking if he wanted '20 or 30 trams?' And I freaked out because he called them right after.

    I went onto his safari and in his history he had deleted Facebook msgs from one girl that I know he has bought suboxone from (he's in a program for subs) and another girl (who later she told me he has bought trams from. She didn't say when but he said it was yrs ago, I don't believe that) but why delete the msg from the other girl if all he was buying was suboxone and I already have witnessed that?
    Pretty positive it's because he was buying tramadol from her.

    Also in his history were 'numb tingling arm' 'how long before tramadol out of system' 'Will tramadol show up on drug screen' 'does tramadol cause pancreatitis' (he had gotten pancreatitis one time before and was afraid he had it currently)

    Clearly he took tramadol! But he denied it. Of course.
    He can get pretty angry, but not like he was this time. This was crazy.
    So I left. I went to my dads for several says and I would tell him I was taking a nap and he would freak out and think I wasn't home and he would go on and on to the point that I couldn't sleep, so I eventually said 'here' and I turned on my location on my iPhone and had him turn his on too. I've never used it before and I explained that so we were both learning together.

    One night, he called me and said 'I'm outside. Come out but stay on the phone' so I did but I asked why he was there and he said he wanted to talk finally. I got out there and I learned he actually wanted to check to see how accurate my location was. He didn't want to talk. I was so annoyed. He was PARANOID! & he would keep turning his off and act like his phone was doing it on its own and he didn't realize it and he would only see my msg about it and turn it back on about 30-40 mins later. I'm not an idiot, he was turning it off to go buy tramadol.
    He's accused me of 'setting' my location so it showed me being at my house when he thinks I was actually out 'cheating' on him. (I've never given him any reason to think I have cheated) and I looked it up to see if that's even possible and I'm pretty positive it's not.

    So he started missing his meetings. He goes to 3 a week and I was gone for about 2 weeks so I don't know how many total he has missed, but I know he missed 3 in a row (2 last week and the last one of the before that he had) before that, I wasn't around so he may have missed more.
    He went to a meeting yesterday. He's been using my car and I dropped him off and picked him up. Also, I convinced him to turn on his location again and I made sure he was there the entire time.
    But he didn't have a prescription for his suboxone. He said the dr forgot to leave it for the counselor but they would call it in for the weekend but I wonder if he didn't pass his drug test and they wouldn't give it to him.

    So after I was gone for about 2 weeks, I didn't tell him everything I thought. He knew the day I found all the stuff about tramadol, but I didn't push it. The more aggressiveness, anger, and paranoia he showed, the more I would just respond and say 'I'm not going to respond if you're going to talk to me like this. We talked about going to therapy together. I will talk to you there about any issue' I would basically always just always say 'counseling'.

    So eventually he asked me to come over to talk and he said he would go to counseling if I did. I said I would only come if he stayed calm and wasn't mean.
    He did really good but denied any drug use.

    So for the next week, when he was away, I looked everywhere. At first, I was finding pills that he really didn't need to hide but I also knew they weren't there about a month and a half ago. I found that he had testosterone pills in a jacket pocket and otc sleep aid in the other, I found 8 pills of MY old prescription of neurontin (i get recurrent shingles) and like, why would he need that? He wouldn't get high but it does stop seizures, hmmmm.....
    His mom told me that he wanted help in the first place because he had started having seizures and it scared him and he wanted help asap.

    I found pills that weren't in drawers a month ago, like zofran, beta blockers, stuff from when he had first detoxed.

    All of these pills, I took and gave to his mom.
    I started finding empty cellophane from the top of cigarettes, that's what he stores pills in, I found out from his mom.

    So I kept telling him over and over how much I supported him and no matter what, I'm proud of him, I just need to know.
    Eventually he told me but he said 'okay, I took ultram. But I'm only telling you so you shut the hell up. I'm tired of this' and I said 'are you telling me because you did it or because you think that's what I want to hear?' And he said 'I did it! One day. When you weren't even here' (I knew that was a lie)
    I told him I was proud of him for telling me and I thanked him and I told him I was there for him in any way I could be. I asked if he was okay and he said 'I'm here aren't I!?!!' And I said '...not just that way. I mean mentally, physically, just every way' and he got mad. I told him I already knew and I found some things. I wasn't specific but I told him I just needed him to trust me and let me be there for me.
    I noticed he had been sweating like craaaaazy lately. Dripping.
    And twitching and jumping majorly and constantly in his sleep.
    I said that I'm pretty positive it's been longer than one day, not a very long time, but I just need to know and asked him to tell me within the day. He got mad and said 'I trust you with the truth and you still say I'm lying!'
    And I said 'ok, so did you or did you not call your dealers last night on your way home from work?' (His mom pays his phone bill and has access to all of this) and he got VERY mad and said that it wasn't true, which I knew it was.

    So, I honestly don't know what to do.
    He is such a good person, the real him is. His addiction makes him horrible.
    Before he relapsed, he lost his job, which meant he lost his insurance that was paying for his groups and suboxone so then he started getting anxiety and he had admitted that he was very depressed when he lost his job. He got a new job, but is making $8 less an hr (it's also where he worked when he was 18, so he said 'I worked 9 years of my life to be better and I'm back to where I started. Do you know how bad that feels?') and only part time. He had told me before that tramadol was cheaper than buying a strip of suboxone (he was buying one strip of suboxone at a time at the pharmacy while he's waiting to be approved for Medicaid) but he told me he would tell me if he did it.
    I think he did it because he didn't have the money for suboxone and with his stress, depression and anxiety, he got in too deep.

    How do we handle this? We're starting couples therapy together. His mom and I tried bringing it up but he got mad that we 'worked together'.
    I'm afraid for him and I feel bad for him. He keeps saying how much he hates his life right now.

    Also, are there any ways to test for tramadol at home? Does a 12 panel test show it?
    & if he's going to groups and getting suboxone from them, would tramadol show in their test? He told me he's never failed a test.

    Thank you!

  2. #2
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pineapple75 View Post
    Hello, I basically live with my boyfriend of a month shy of a year and his family. He previously had an addiction to Percocet, Vicodin & tramadol after he had a severe work injury to his face where he had to have extensive reconstructive surgery to his face, and after that, he became addicted to the pills he was prescribed to for his injury.
    He doesn't like talking about his addiction to me, and I honestly don't push it. He told me that he was an addict maybe a month in, but he tried breaking up with me over it because he said all he will do is weigh me down and I'm a good girl and he's not good for me.
    I told him I wasn't afraid and I would help him because he told me he wasn't currently taking anything.

    So, a little about me and our relationship. We had an amazing relationship. A ton of trust and extremely close and happy.
    I was probably a little dumb I guess. I didn't ask questions because I didn't want to make him uncomfortable but I always asked him no matter what, just tell me if he slipped up or thought about it. I told him I would never judge him or get mad at him, but I would help him because I honestly think a lot of addicts relapse. I just needed to know if it happened. I told him I was proud of every day he was ever clean and any day in the future he would be clean and I always made sure to tell him he could slip up a million times, because we're human and we make mistakes, just please don't let me find out on my own.

    Well, I started to notice he was getting weird. One night, he asked to see my phone (I thought he just wanted to see the screen, he actually wanted to go through it, which I also didn't mind) but he was being so weird and not making sense. He was going through it for 5 mins on his own without me seeing or asking anything, then I became concerned and sat next to him and I said 'are you okay?' And I felt his whole body started shaking and I said 'I can feel you shaking. What did I do to make you feel this way because I don't want you to feel like this' and he didn't respond.
    He started saying crazy things that weren't true. He started saying he was watching me on my phone right before that and I was talking to somebody on snapchat, which first of all, I never respond to anybody on snapchat besides my sister, and secondly, I hadn't been on there for hrs that night and it was when he went outside to smoke. I didn't even watch people I know, it was YouTube makeup artists that I follow.

    I told him what I was actually doing (I belong to a closed Facebook group for a chronic illness that I have and I was just reading posts) and I had even screen shot so many things so I had sent him texts of the screen shots because it showed the time at the top. I was doing it for about 2 hrs. Even when he thought I was on snapchat.
    He still swore I was on there.

    So i said 'ok, I guess I'll go through yours too' and I didn't really care to or expect to find anything honestly.
    But then I opened his texts and saw a text from a number the night before asking if he wanted '20 or 30 trams?' And I freaked out because he called them right after.

    I went onto his safari and in his history he had deleted Facebook msgs from one girl that I know he has bought suboxone from (he's in a program for subs) and another girl (who later she told me he has bought trams from. She didn't say when but he said it was yrs ago, I don't believe that) but why delete the msg from the other girl if all he was buying was suboxone and I already have witnessed that?
    Pretty positive it's because he was buying tramadol from her.

    Also in his history were 'numb tingling arm' 'how long before tramadol out of system' 'Will tramadol show up on drug screen' 'does tramadol cause pancreatitis' (he had gotten pancreatitis one time before and was afraid he had it currently)

    Clearly he took tramadol! But he denied it. Of course.
    He can get pretty angry, but not like he was this time. This was crazy.
    So I left. I went to my dads for several says and I would tell him I was taking a nap and he would freak out and think I wasn't home and he would go on and on to the point that I couldn't sleep, so I eventually said 'here' and I turned on my location on my iPhone and had him turn his on too. I've never used it before and I explained that so we were both learning together.

    One night, he called me and said 'I'm outside. Come out but stay on the phone' so I did but I asked why he was there and he said he wanted to talk finally. I got out there and I learned he actually wanted to check to see how accurate my location was. He didn't want to talk. I was so annoyed. He was PARANOID! & he would keep turning his off and act like his phone was doing it on its own and he didn't realize it and he would only see my msg about it and turn it back on about 30-40 mins later. I'm not an idiot, he was turning it off to go buy tramadol.
    He's accused me of 'setting' my location so it showed me being at my house when he thinks I was actually out 'cheating' on him. (I've never given him any reason to think I have cheated) and I looked it up to see if that's even possible and I'm pretty positive it's not.

    So he started missing his meetings. He goes to 3 a week and I was gone for about 2 weeks so I don't know how many total he has missed, but I know he missed 3 in a row (2 last week and the last one of the before that he had) before that, I wasn't around so he may have missed more.
    He went to a meeting yesterday. He's been using my car and I dropped him off and picked him up. Also, I convinced him to turn on his location again and I made sure he was there the entire time.
    But he didn't have a prescription for his suboxone. He said the dr forgot to leave it for the counselor but they would call it in for the weekend but I wonder if he didn't pass his drug test and they wouldn't give it to him.

    So after I was gone for about 2 weeks, I didn't tell him everything I thought. He knew the day I found all the stuff about tramadol, but I didn't push it. The more aggressiveness, anger, and paranoia he showed, the more I would just respond and say 'I'm not going to respond if you're going to talk to me like this. We talked about going to therapy together. I will talk to you there about any issue' I would basically always just always say 'counseling'.

    So eventually he asked me to come over to talk and he said he would go to counseling if I did. I said I would only come if he stayed calm and wasn't mean.
    He did really good but denied any drug use.

    So for the next week, when he was away, I looked everywhere. At first, I was finding pills that he really didn't need to hide but I also knew they weren't there about a month and a half ago. I found that he had testosterone pills in a jacket pocket and otc sleep aid in the other, I found 8 pills of MY old prescription of neurontin (i get recurrent shingles) and like, why would he need that? He wouldn't get high but it does stop seizures, hmmmm.....
    His mom told me that he wanted help in the first place because he had started having seizures and it scared him and he wanted help asap.

    I found pills that weren't in drawers a month ago, like zofran, beta blockers, stuff from when he had first detoxed.

    All of these pills, I took and gave to his mom.
    I started finding empty cellophane from the top of cigarettes, that's what he stores pills in, I found out from his mom.

    So I kept telling him over and over how much I supported him and no matter what, I'm proud of him, I just need to know.
    Eventually he told me but he said 'okay, I took ultram. But I'm only telling you so you shut the hell up. I'm tired of this' and I said 'are you telling me because you did it or because you think that's what I want to hear?' And he said 'I did it! One day. When you weren't even here' (I knew that was a lie)
    I told him I was proud of him for telling me and I thanked him and I told him I was there for him in any way I could be. I asked if he was okay and he said 'I'm here aren't I!?!!' And I said '...not just that way. I mean mentally, physically, just every way' and he got mad. I told him I already knew and I found some things. I wasn't specific but I told him I just needed him to trust me and let me be there for me.
    I noticed he had been sweating like craaaaazy lately. Dripping.
    And twitching and jumping majorly and constantly in his sleep.
    I said that I'm pretty positive it's been longer than one day, not a very long time, but I just need to know and asked him to tell me within the day. He got mad and said 'I trust you with the truth and you still say I'm lying!'
    And I said 'ok, so did you or did you not call your dealers last night on your way home from work?' (His mom pays his phone bill and has access to all of this) and he got VERY mad and said that it wasn't true, which I knew it was.

    So, I honestly don't know what to do.
    He is such a good person, the real him is. His addiction makes him horrible.
    Before he relapsed, he lost his job, which meant he lost his insurance that was paying for his groups and suboxone so then he started getting anxiety and he had admitted that he was very depressed when he lost his job. He got a new job, but is making $8 less an hr (it's also where he worked when he was 18, so he said 'I worked 9 years of my life to be better and I'm back to where I started. Do you know how bad that feels?') and only part time. He had told me before that tramadol was cheaper than buying a strip of suboxone (he was buying one strip of suboxone at a time at the pharmacy while he's waiting to be approved for Medicaid) but he told me he would tell me if he did it.
    I think he did it because he didn't have the money for suboxone and with his stress, depression and anxiety, he got in too deep.

    How do we handle this? We're starting couples therapy together. His mom and I tried bringing it up but he got mad that we 'worked together'.
    I'm afraid for him and I feel bad for him. He keeps saying how much he hates his life right now.

    Also, are there any ways to test for tramadol at home? Does a 12 panel test show it?
    & if he's going to groups and getting suboxone from them, would tramadol show in their test? He told me he's never failed a test.

    Thank you!
    I suggest re-reading the replies from the thread that you started earlier this month?
    https://www.drugs.com/forum/suboxone...ead-71660.html

  3. #3
    Pineapple75 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    4

    Default

    Okay, thank you! This was just a little more updated with more questions and I found out more

  4. #4
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,706

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pineapple75 View Post
    Okay, thank you! This was just a little more updated with more questions and I found out more
    Pineapple - did you get a chance to re-read your original thread yet, especially the replies from Ming and Kat? They gave you some of the best advice possible!

    As far as your new questions go?Neurontin is also used to ease withdrawal symptoms! Tramadol is not necessarily cheaper than Suboxone, one 8mg of Suboxone can last someone a very long time, 2mg/day = four days, 1mg/day = eight days, so on and so forth! Suboxone has a long half-life as well! Tramadol only lasts around 7 hours or so!

    I don't think you can test for Tramadol on any home drug test? I think you would need a lab to test for Tramadol specifically?

    I wish you both well but you need to take care of yourself first and foremost! Good luck... God bless us all!

Similar Threads

  1. just seeing how long i can last till a relapse?
    By Theo111 in forum Suboxone Treatment
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 10-06-2014, 12:41 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22