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Cant take it
  1. #1
    trungdien is offline New Member
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    Aug 2017
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    Default Cant take it

    My boyfriend is hooked on opiates. He keeps telling me he wants to quit but hasnt yet. I have caught him in several lies about it. He told me hes really quitting this time. He sayshe hasnt taken any the last two days. All he is doing is sleeping. Everything I read on the internet says withdraws causes insomnia. Iam worried he is once again lying to me. Iam at my wits end with all of it. He says he needs the pills to function. I have tried everything I can do to help him. I am just getting hurt so badly because of his addiction. He is mean and says horrible things when hes high. Today I tried to wake him up and he yelled at me. I dont know what else to do. If hes sleeping all day is he really quitting or is he just high again? I need some help. I have never been around anything like this before.

  2. #2
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by trungdien View Post
    My boyfriend is hooked on opiates. He keeps telling me he wants to quit but hasnt yet. I have caught him in several lies about it. He told me hes really quitting this time. He sayshe hasnt taken any the last two days. All he is doing is sleeping. Everything I read on the internet says withdraws causes insomnia. Iam worried he is once again lying to me. Iam at my wits end with all of it. He says he needs the pills to function. I have tried everything I can do to help him. I am just getting hurt so badly because of his addiction. He is mean and says horrible things when hes high. Today I tried to wake him up and he yelled at me. I dont know wainhat else to do. If hes sleeping all day is he really quitting or is he just high again? I need some help. I have never been around anything like this before.


    Welcome to the forum!

    Your story is a common one here. The significant other is using and lying to the other person. Addicts are the very best liars and manipulators there is. A good addict can make you believe just about anything including the fact they aren't using when they most certainly are. And one things for certain, you'll never make him stop unless HE wants to stop. Not gonna happen. He has to WANT IT for himself first and foremost.

    You can get a home drug test kit available at most any pharmacy and spring on him when he says he not using. If he says "go ahead, test me" then he probably isn't using at the time, but if he says "I can't believe you don't believe me" or tries to get out of it anyway possible then you'll most likely have your answer.

    You can threaten to break up or leave, but you must be prepared to do so. Don't make threats you don't follow through on. And try not to enable him. Let him fall on his face. I drove my fiancé nuts abusing drugs until she finally left for good. I would lie to her face that i wasn't using when I was gobbling down every addicitve substance I could get my hands on. I put her through H.E.L.L. I'm clean now for several years, but I was abusing drugs for about 18 years previously. It's entirely possible for him to clean up his act, but it's him that has to do it. You can't do it for him.

    You could also check out some meetings of Naranon or Alanon so you can learn what makes him want the drugs so much and how not to enable him. Google for meetings in your area. I hate to tell you this, but he loves the drugs right now more than he does you. The pull of those pills is so strong he'll do almost anything to get them.

    Read some posts in the Need to Talk section of the forums. There are many others in the same place, or been in the same place as you are right now. I hope this works out for you. Please keep us updated as we really want to help the both of you. If he truly wants to be clean and out of the nightmare have him post here for help and support.

    Take care.

    Randy
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  3. #3
    Dr_Randall_Dwenger is offline New Member
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    Watching someone you care about struggle with addiction can be difficult and heartbreaking. I know you want to help your boyfriend but there’s one thing that you must accept, you are powerless in changing his behavior. He has to want to quit on his own for him to be successful at it. All you can do is ask him to get help and enter treatment, but you cannot force him to do it.

    Sometimes when a loved one is addicted, people tend to take the “tough love” approach hoping that it will convince their loved one to get help. But often “tough love” is experienced as too much “tough” and not enough “love” when someone may need your support. You need to make decisions that you can live with and recognize you are powerless in changing others.

    However, it is important that you take into consideration your own wellbeing. A lot of people don’t realize that addiction affects others, not just the addicted person. It may sound selfish but if you feel like this relationship is toxic to your mental health, it may be best for you two to part ways. You can be there for him when he decided he is ready to get help.

    Remember, your recovery process will always be independent of your loved one, therefore you can recover even if your boyfriend is still struggling.

  4. #4
    DerekMo is offline New Member
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    Sep 2017
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    Default

    trungdien, have you tried to call rehab treatment centers? I was told by friend there are some centers that can convience addicted ones to go through drug addiction treatment...I'm also addicted and want to make sure in it

  5. #5
    conwaycreek is offline Member
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    Checking in on ya Derek...how goes the search for an outpatient program?

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