Results 1 to 2 of 2
Like Tree9Likes
  • 3 Post By Mswanson502
  • 4 Post By Catrina
Chronic Pain After Addiction
  1. #1
    Mswanson502 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    1

    Default Chronic Pain After Addiction

    I feel like I'm being punished in some way. After dealing with addiction to pain medication in my early 20s, I went to rehab and got better and moved on with my life. All hell broke loose in my mid 30s, and I was eventually diagnosed with black mold poisoning. Unfortunately, by the time we figured out that's what I had, the damage was done, permanently. It's possible that it's terminal because of the seizures, strokes, organ damage, etc that it's caused, not to mention the most likely threat (suicide to end the suffering).
    The daily pain that I experience is beyond debilitating. I had to break down and start taking pain medication again. I was suicidal due to the pain. I was in a wheelchair or using a walker, and it just wasn't worth it anymore. That's with me trying all the alternative medicines like Tramadol, anti-inflammatory, anti-depressants, muscle relaxers, nerve pain meds, etc, etc. I still have to take some of those, but we've had to add hydrocodone to it. I'm finally getting some relief now. I feel so guilty taking it. I even tried marijuana, but it didn't do anything for the pain. It did help the seizures thought. I don't get any kind of buzz from the hydrocodone since I'm truly in pain, but it's hard to get past the feeling of guilt. I know I need to get over that, especially since I probably won't live too much longer, but it's hard to do. It's not something I can really talk to anyone about either because noone understands unless they've been through it.

    Is anyone else dealing with chronic pain after addiction?

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,118

    Default

    Welcome to the Forum!

    You've got a lot on your plate, don't you? I am so sorry that you have to endure this. Truly. I am a recovering addict after abusing for around 20 years. I had my 8th year clean this past January so there's that. I have had some severe back issues for many years avoiding surgery at all costs up until two years ago which has led to three surgeries since then and perhaps another on the way. I do understand what it's like to live with chronic pain and being an addict. My situation is somewhat different than your's though. My back troubles obviously aren't terminal but if they were, I'm not sure that I'd be dealing with things in the same manner. I don't know much, if anything about black mold poisoning except to know it exists and that it causes severe respiratory issues. Is there really nothing that can be done to help you? Would you mind sharing more about your symptoms and prognosis? This won't help me give you advice but I'm curious.

    If adding the hydro to your treatment plan improves your quality of life I think I would have done the same thing. One issue, of course is that we quickly grow a tolerance to pain meds and the only answer is to increase the dose or to begin to use yet another stronger narcotic. That for me would be more of a worry but in the end, we do what we have to do. The only thing I might add is that if and when the time comes that you may not need the hydro, then don't procrastinate and begin to taper it to minimize the withdrawal symptoms. Hopefully enough time has passed and your stronger mentally to be able to taper. I'm sure your doctors will be on board and work with you so that you can have as much time as you'll need to slowly taper.

    My first two surgeries, except for a dose right after my surgery I was able to treat my pain with over the counter meds. The last surgery was a whole ' nother story but I was super scarred to allow pain pills to control me again so I used them very sparingly. My surgeon is the best and is very kind. I let him know at the get-go that I was in recovery and he told me to just get through the post surgery and he'd help me if I had trouble. I avoided the pain pills as much as possible and only used a few the first few days I got home from the hospital. I then tossed out what was left and only used Aleve or a prescription strength Ibuprofen. Your situation seems very different though and I really am sorry. I can see why it would be so depressing in the first place having to deal with uncontrolled pain and then to finally cave and take the one thing that scares us the most. Now THAT is depressing! Do your best to police yourself. If you can avoid them, then avoid them but if you need them, take them. Just be careful. Have you discussed all of this with your doctor? They're a great source of accountability if you allow them to be When I was abusing, I was manipulating my doctor and resented it when he questioned my need. Oh how my outlook has changed. I included my surgeon in my decisions and have even told him that if he thought that I was becoming unreasonable that he should hold my feet to the fire and tell me. I think just putting that up front helped the both of us.

    Now that you've found us, continue to post. Your story is important for others who may be going through something similar to you.

    Peace,

    Cat

Similar Threads

  1. Vicodin for chronic pain....addiction, guilt, & worry
    By heidismommy in forum Prescription Drug Addiction
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 01-05-2016, 11:15 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22