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Cold Turkey from hydromorphone habit, support needed :(
  1. #1
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Default Cold Turkey from hydromorphone habit, support needed :(

    Hi everyone,

    As everyone in this thread, I decided to do the recipe to assist me through this real HELL.

    Well, I'm 22 right now, almost 23 actually, and just recently I relapsed my 2 years opiate abstinance, I'm so sad. I ended up with a new hydromorphone habits and all this sucks. I'm really scared right now, first time i actually done it cold turkey it was pure hell. So much pain, restlessness and we don't even talk about all the panic attacks I went through.

    So now here i am, 12 hours from my last pin, scared as hell and was wondering if someone here could help me mentally and assist me through my pain.
    ItsPossible likes this.

  2. #2
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Welcome Raz!
    This is a great decision you have made for yourself and your future.
    When they anxiety comes please try and remember WHY you are doing it.
    The mental part can be tough but IF you REALLY want it, you can DO IT.
    There is no room for second guessing. As soon as you do, PIVOT your thinking back to the GOAL.
    My first time felt like a roller coaster ride, this time, it was much easier because I was prepared for it..
    Thomas Recipe is AMAZING. Very comforting.
    Smoothies were my saving grace. I used Clonidine for sleep and now replacing it with 5htp from natural store.
    Give yourself time to work through the withdrawal and HOT BATHS or HEATING PADS make a difference with RLS.
    Does anyone close to you know what you are going through?
    Having support makes it easier to free yourself from the addiction and you will feel less alone.
    Sleep when you can because you never know when you might.
    I went to work on no sleep on day 3 and it was hard but it was doable.
    You are STRONGER than you think so believe in yourself.
    Keep posting so we can help with what you are going through.
    LOTS OF WATER. BREATHE. YOU ARE STEPPING out of fear and INTO LOVE.
    Congrats on your decision.

    Love and Light xxoo
    Kim

  3. #3
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ItsPossible View Post
    Welcome Raz!
    This is a great decision you have made for yourself and your future.
    When they anxiety comes please try and remember WHY you are doing it.
    The mental part can be tough but IF you REALLY want it, you can DO IT.
    There is no room for second guessing. As soon as you do, PIVOT your thinking back to the GOAL.
    My first time felt like a roller coaster ride, this time, it was much easier because I was prepared for it..
    Thomas Recipe is AMAZING. Very comforting.
    Smoothies were my saving grace. I used Clonidine for sleep and now replacing it with 5htp from natural store.
    Give yourself time to work through the withdrawal and HOT BATHS or HEATING PADS make a difference with RLS.
    Does anyone close to you know what you are going through?
    Having support makes it easier to free yourself from the addiction and you will feel less alone.
    Sleep when you can because you never know when you might.
    I went to work on no sleep on day 3 and it was hard but it was doable.
    You are STRONGER than you think so believe in yourself.
    Keep posting so we can help with what you are going through.
    LOTS OF WATER. BREATHE. YOU ARE STEPPING out of fear and INTO LOVE.
    Congrats on your decision.

    Love and Light xxoo
    Kim
    Yes, I'm living with my dad, it was hard to tell him my relapse but I gave him my last pills so that I don't find one in my house. I also told some of my friends to come and talk to me

    He's so nice to me but he's working on week and I just can't stand to be alone sometimes when anxiety kicks in.

    I don't have any clonidine but i have some ativan with me. Just that nothing seems to help I'm really desperate. How all this happened again? So scary to go through this omg you don't even believe how scared I am.
    I was a weed smoker also, so I try to smoke some to ease my pain, also it don't seems to work. I must admit that hot bath help a little.

    Anyway now at 17h, keeps getting worse, I think i'ma have a really hard time

  4. #4
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Let's do this 15 minutes at a time. Or even 10. Keep that bath water hot.
    Do you have Epsom salts to add to bath?
    YouTube a guided meditation ... get head phones and breathe.
    Great job letting others know. They can't help if they d ok nt know.
    Movies, shows, videos, and threads.
    Distract that mind! Believe in yourself.
    Day 1 will be over soon and the anticipation should level out.
    Hang in there

  5. #5
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Now on 36h, it keeps getting worse. Does it gonna end someday or what ?

  6. #6
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Hey Raz,
    Yes it does get better. MUCH BETTER .. you just got to hang in there.
    DO you want to go through this all over again? Then lets keep sticking it out.
    What are you doing to help in this process?
    Do you have any ingredients from the Thomas Recipe? Vitmains, magnesium, potassium, so many goodies that help.
    What symptoms are you feeling?
    When you feel well enough to write keep posting. Many people have great solutions for some of the symptoms.
    Hot baths, bananas, water, gatorade, hylands for RLS, sleep when you can.
    None of the liquid medicine that is suppose to help sleep ever helped me.... it just made me worse... less sleep, more shakes and feeling really yucky.
    You're going to be able to do this if you really WANT IT!
    Hang in there
    Love and Light xxoo

  7. #7
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    First of all I would like to say that you are so kind for assisting me into this.

    I'm in total pain and it's been 40 hours from last pin. Keeping it up.

    I took my multi vitamines everyday
    I don't think this changed much thing but anyway.


    Thanks xxx
    Francis

  8. #8
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Also, It seems that I can't eat without having to vomit it all.

    What can I do about that

  9. #9
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    Try out the Thomas recipe. I think it helped me a lot. Keep a positive mind and stay busy even ifs just movies.
    Stay strong. You can do this!

  10. #10
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Stay hydrated.
    Follow the B.R.A.T diet
    Bananas, Rice, Apple sauce, Toast until you can hold something down,
    Wish you had more items from the THOMAS RECIPE
    Smoothies helped me a great deal. I didn't feel like eating but I didn't throw up.
    I would say try and take a gravol but not sure how that will work on a empty stomach. Crackers may be enough.
    Have you been sleeping?
    It's going to take time for your body to try and function without what it's been getting daily.
    It doesn't know what to do so stay calm and help it flush the toxins.
    Reassure yourself that you can get through this, It's just a little worse than the flu but a necessary right of passage into natural living.
    You will feel better soon and be so thankful you stuck to it!
    Keep it up Francis, day 3 should be much better or at least not worse.
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  11. #11
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Its really hard right now, Im so tired i need to sleep but I just CAN'T, my heads keeps giving me trouble right now

    HELP :'(

  12. #12
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    What about your head is giving you trouble?
    The thoughts that ONE will help you feel better?
    Cause it won't. It will make you feel worse when you have to start all over at DAY 1. You can do this!
    You're almost there.
    Hopefully this time will be your last so you never have to go through it again.
    Are you drinking lots of water? How is your stomach today?
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  13. #13
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    I' m almost 137h clean, and i got admitted to a detox centrr.

    I'm tired, restless, and i cant sleep withtiut injectable valium so far.

    They give me clonidine, 1 valium each 6hour at day

    They give me clonidine, valium and injectable ativan for sleep that help really really well.

    Anyway I' ll survive, good luck everyone.
    Love to all of you

    Frank
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  14. #14
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Hey!I am so glad to hear from you! I was getting worried that you were dehydrated.
    Glad you found a place to safely detox! Keep up the great work!
    Love and Light xxoo

  15. #15
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Hi again everyone,

    Now sober for more than a week, feel so much better. So glad that all of you helped me. Your help was a blessing for me. It prevented me to become insane a do things i should not.

    I'm gonna be out of the detox center en wednesday morning.

    Keep hope, light will be back shortly.

    Love to all xx
    Francis

  16. #16
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Hey Francis,
    Congrats on 1 week clean.
    Don't let your guard down, make a plan when things become difficult and stick to it.
    Although relapse is a part of the process, as long as you learn from it, it get's worse every time we go back down that path.
    Hoping you have found peace within yourself and prayers to keep you connected.
    The real work begins after detox.
    AA/NA meetings are a great place to keep you accountable.
    Find an interest that will keep your idle hands busy.
    Keep posting and let us know what's going on with you.
    Sharing your story helps others,
    So very happy for yoU!
    Love and Light xxoo

  17. #17
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks for all the kind messages!

    Actually I have project to help others like me who have difficulty with addiction. I'm a software developper and I plan to make something really interesting for me and everyone else.

    I'm still in detox center and there is AA/NA like twice a day that I need to go so there is no problem for that.

    I used to smoke weed also and I decided to quit EVERYTHING. I will meet my true potential and make this world better.

    Thanks again you really helped me all
    xxx

    Francis

  18. #18
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    I like the sounds of that! I am intrigued!
    Good on ya making a positive from a negative!
    Love and Light xxoo

  19. #19
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    I will be out on tommorow morning.

    Everything went well. Of course it wasn't vacancy but I appreciated the time I spend here with people like me that is addicted to drugs.

    Kind of bored right now since I don't have my computer, but I cannot complain because I'm feeling really well.

    All my medications are stopped and now it's time for me to give back the help you gave me. Can't be so happy.

    Good luck everyone
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  20. #20
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Great work Francis!
    Very happy for you. It's so great that you got help in a safe environment. I was so worried for you.
    But look at you now!
    What are your interests that you can focus on when you get bored at home?

  21. #21
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    I'm working in webapp/software developper and I will plan to make a website or an iOS/Android application for people like us who needs help NOW. Or maybe something else, who knows ?! I like to play video games sometimes, spending times with friends and do sports. I'll get my gym pass back and I'll focus on my health first

    So yeah I'm happy to be back and ALIVE.

    Love to you all!

    Francis
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  22. #22
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raz3x View Post
    I'm working in webapp/software developper and I will plan to make a website or an iOS/Android application for people like us who needs help NOW. Or maybe something else, who knows ?! I like to play video games sometimes, spending times with friends and do sports. I'll get my gym pass back and I'll focus on my health first

    So yeah I'm happy to be back and ALIVE.

    Love to you all!

    Francis
    Love how positive your focus is!
    Believing in yourself is half the battle!
    Very proud that you came out of this the way you did!
    Love right back at ya!
    Kim XXOO

  23. #23
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    I have a new problem that is really starting to piss me off, even if I feel good during the day.

    Since I'm not using drugs for like 2 weeks now, I'm unable to get to sleep. When I was at the detox center, they gave me valium IM for the first 2 days so I was pretty sleepy and I obviously slept well. But for the last few days, they gave me valium 10mg and I was still unable to sleep well. I know they used to gave me Seroquel XR twice a day, and 2x seroquel 25mg if I was unable to get to sleep with the first medication on the last days of the detox. The last 2 days of the detox I used benadryl 50mg to sleep, but again, I slept like an hour max.

    First of all, I hate seroquel and it does not get me sleepy but mostly grinded. Now that I'm out, I don't have valium anymore and I can't sleep neither. I tryed like every tricks known to man, from meditation to hot milk.

    What do I do now, I'm pretty worried.I need to sleep... I have some ativan with me but it'll not fix the problem if I use them each night to get to sleep.

    Still love you all but I'm pretty deseperate right now.

    Francis

  24. #24
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    I'm sorry that sleep is giving you trouble. It did me too and most others as well. Try to not let it frustrate you. Only with time will some decent sleep return. Much of it will depend upon how much you for using and for how long. I used for many years and I hate to bear bad news but it took me almost three weeks before I could string a few hours together. It began to get better more quickly after that. Frustration will only add to the problem making you more irritable and making the nights seem even longer. Once my RLS passed (5 days) I was relieved to at least be able to be comfortable. My ability to concentrate quickly returned after those first 5 days and at first, I'd fight with my bed. Finally, I just would find an old movie or hop on here and read.

    Don't let this send you back to using in desperation to get some sleep. Believe it or not, it's not worth it and with a bit more time sleep will return. Just keep drinking Sleepy Time Tea and take a melatonin after a nice long hot bath. You will at least be relaxed. I know it's hard but there is no magic fix and you are absolutely correct. If you begin to take a benzo to help with sleep, it won't take long at all before you'll need that to sleep. Much better to tough it out and you'll be thankful for a natural sleep. Hang in there. It will get better. I promise.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-12-2016 at 02:34 AM.
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  25. #25
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Very pleased you answered so fast.

    My habit didn't least that much time, maybe a month of IV hydromorphone. It's been 14 days clean and I can't put an hour of sleep I'm so deseperate.

    I must say that I used to smoke weed too before detoxing and I had this habit since 7 years. Don't know if it's opiate withdrawal or thc withdrawals but god it's frustrating.

    I just made a camomille, took 2g GABA with 5mg melatonin and a hot shower, still can't nod for minutes....

    I'm maybe starting to think that I should not had stopped smoking until I can sleep well from my opiate withdrawals ?

    I don't have any energy at days, and too much at nights, what is happening to me?

    Francis

  26. #26
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Just can't stand this anymore.
    Does loperamide help for sleep even though it does not cross blood brain barrier ?

  27. #27
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Hey Raz,
    I also went a while without sleeping and had to work through it. Just when you think you can't take it anymore... BAM, sleep! Hold on and it will come. Cat is so right, frustration only makes it worse.
    Grab some headphones and Youtube a sleep meditation. Lots of trances or just guided meditation.
    Even if it doesn't put you to sleep you will still reap the benefits of stilling the mind.
    It is so important to strengthen your mind.
    Have you been exercising. Fresh air? Even if you on;y get an hour or 30 minutes wake up and try and be thankful for that amount. Be grateful for EVERYTHING you get being clean and you will attract more like a magnet.
    What you put out, you get in return, without expecting it.
    Deep breathing and patience.
    There is no quick fix.
    Double up on sleepy time tea, melatonin, anything natural.
    BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
    WE believe in you! Look how far you've come.
    Hang in there!

  28. #28
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    I went to the gym before yesterday night. I think it was the hardest gym I made in like years. My muscles aches and I don't have so much cardio. I tried to play hockey this friday with friends, made almost the full game, but I had issue with my heart pulse so I needed to get out a little bit before the end. It's so hard ! I think I may get my sanity back a bit. This night, I took 1g GABA after diner and another 1g before sleep. I added to it 10mg melatonine and slept 4hours this night. A 3 hours sleep improvement. Still I'm happier than yesterday, and way more than last 2 nights. It's about time.

    I really think I need to put all my efforts to exercice even if all my body muscles ache.

    Thanks for your support, still apreciated when my mind is so busy to figure out how to relax.

    LOVE

  29. #29
    Raz3x is offline Junior Member
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    Doubled the melatonine and GABA and still no improvement.

    Took 20mg melatonine and 4g GABA and nothing...

    What am I doing wrong ?

  30. #30
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    Raz3x - I hope this finds you getting some relief but probably not. As you can see from time I am still not getting much. I'm 19 days in on 9 years Suboxone withdrawals - went cold turkey too. Sleep and restless legs were my biggest enemy. Still are. I know how sleep deprivation makes an already chaotic detox almost unbearable. My withdrawals didn't even hit me hard until day 6. I was so motivated up to that point and it really set my optomizism and drive back. Just know it doesn't get worse but it doesn't go away as fast as we would like. Please know that you are through the worst part though. It's a long process and keeping busy and exercise really do help - you would be feeling worse if not (I know that seems impossible right now). We are use to taking a pill and instantly feeling better and there is no way to get over this without going through this part. When you realize one day you are feeling like you old self again. You will be proud of yourself with ever little accomplishment. Every 15 mins - every 12 hours and eventually as each day passes. That was a weird feeling for me - to be proud of myself instead of disappointment of dragging this out another day. It was hard for me to even remember who that is. I have a 2 yr old and 9 yr old so I know that even fixing dinner seems impossible. Like someone else said just get through right now. Don't be disappointed when you don't progress as fast as you want you will get there I promise!! I know this isn't making you feel better right now but you can kick the beast in the face. I will be checking on you often and sending you positive prayers

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