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Coming off 16mg of suboxone after 30 months, Day 9
  1. #31
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    So true, your brain basically quits putting out endorphins because the opiates have taken its place. When you stop the opiates your brain almost has to re learn to produce the endorphins. That's pretty much why your body hurts like hell for several days. Thus the importance of exercise, water and eating right to assist your brain in starting that process.

  2. #32
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Day 17

    Well this will be my last update for a few days because i'm leaving very early tomorrow morning for that mini getaway. I thought after this long i would feel like a million bucks ( I was wrong). Michelle is right what did i do to my body and what is the new normal, I think my body is trying to figure that out but it just hasn't found it yet. This low energy thing sure doesn't make it any easier and it's not in any hurry to leave just yet. I know this getaway will be good for me and i'm excited, I just hope i'm not a complete wreck after each day of activity.

    Good luck on your day 9 lifesaver77 it should start getting better very soon. That was the day for me where i started to ever so gradually get better.

    I feel such a close connection to all you who have been supporting me through this and will always be in debt to you. Thank you for helping me get my life back on track.
    7fourteen likes this.

  3. #33
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Have a great time William! I think the break and get away from day to day life will help. Push through and rest when you can. This just might help you more than anything! We'll miss you too so post as soon as you get back to tell us what a wonderful time you had.

    The bright side. A few days away and you don't have to worry about taking any meds with you. WAHOOO! Safe travel and just have a good time.

    Peace,

    Cat

  4. #34
    Anonymous Guest

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    Blackwilliam,
    Cat is absolutely right about the get away. I went out Saturday night to a small little concert. I did not want to go AT ALL but it was important to my husband. So, I drag my feet, but after I got there it was really nice.Didn't think I'd be able to stay out past my 9pm bedtime, but I made it with energy to spare. This mini vaca is just what you need. Change of pace better yet change of our routines that sometimes get us in a rut.

    You deserve this so have fun!
    The best part is your with your family.
    Blessings and safe travels
    Michelle

  5. #35
    7fourteen is offline Member
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    Just keep pushing William! What a great story. Just getting out and walking around and enjoying the scenery will be great. Have a blast.

  6. #36
    paulforaname is offline New Member
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    Hi,
    Im in Australia and started Subutex back about January 04. My DR started me on 6mg, then after week jumped up to 8mg.
    For a few years I bounced from 12 to 6mg, then in about Oct 05 jumped straight off 6mg. My last dose was on Wednesday morning. That weekend was my little sisters birthday party (21st), I somehow scored some speed for the weekend

    I used IV (speed), from Friday to Sunday arvo. Which kept me pep'd up over weekend but could feel something stuck in the back of my throat, like I had to clear it and spit something up.
    I headed home from my parents sunday arvo feeling abit >>>>>>
    ( about hour drive away). Woke up Monday and could get out of bed. I called my mum and she came up to take me to Dr.

    He prescribed me some weak pain med and something for diarrhea.
    Well for next 4 days was bed ridden and sweating that much my bed needed changing 3 times per day. By friday was up and about and by Monday able to return to work, felt down for the weeks and couldnt sleep. That was worst part after inital week or more WD's, after 4 weeks of not being able to sleep went back to Dr and was put back on 4mg, now able to sleep for once.

    Then after 4 months slowly tappered down , then miss day then each week miss 2 days, after 6 months down to dust and missing upto 4 day's.
    Then jumped with the use of valium and pot. Took about 2 months after jump to feel normal.

    Sorry for such a long post

  7. #37
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Day 21

    I'm very proud of myself for getting this far and i think i feel the best I did in a long time this morning. The getaway was nice and i actually felt human the whole time and got to enjoy it. Even though the energy wasn't really there once i got going i was fine but was exhausted by the end of the day. When i got home last night the depression kicked my ass a bit but i think everybody gets that kinda thing after a vacation. I feel i might go stir crazy today if i don't do something productive. I'm sleeping better and better every night recently although i'm having the odd dream about snorting oxys (more like a nightmare). I'm nowhere close to a 100% yet but it will come and i can't believe its been 3 weeks already.

    I know this site is about people and their drug problems but i just wan't to say to anybody who lives in the the New England states,Maritime provinces or Ontario should really put the ice hotel in Quebec on their bucket list because it really is spectacular. It shouldn't be that long of a drive from any one of those places and it really is something to see. You will not be disappointed and there is a lot more to offer in that city than what i thought. Anyways i hope your all ok and keep fighting the the good fight. Thanks

  8. #38
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Day 22

    Took about 5 steps back today. Got the full effects of the flu in the night, I haven't been this sick with the flu in years. It's very uncomfortable and takes me back the first week of all this. I know its because i pushed myself to hard this weekend because nobody else has it. I was always the one in the house that wouldn't get sick or be last one to be. I didn't get to eat as healthy this weekend as i wanted to either. I really can't believe how long it takes to recover from this stuff, It's pure poison. It never ever took me near this long to recover from opiates. I guess what i'm saying is even after 3 weeks you should still pace yourself because your not out of the woods yet. Good luck to you all.

  9. #39
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Sorry you're sick William! It's been going around though. I think the freakish weather this winter has kept those bugs alive and thriving. It's gone through my entire office. Fortunately (?) I haven't been in because I've been recovering from surgery so I escaped it thus far. I do have two grandkids who are here everyday so I could get hit at anytime too.

    This isn't any steps backward and I'm sure it has not a thing to do with detox. You are just one of the lucky ones to have picked up the bug. Rest. Drink plenty--OK. The advice is just about the same as was given weeks ago to you. So, feel better soon.

    Peace,

    Cat

  10. #40
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-19-2016 at 12:00 AM.

  11. #41
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Well it's Sunday and i figured it would be a good day for an update.

    I'm feeling a lot better and sleeping very well recently. I feel like i'm almost back to normal but I still feel the need to eat ibuprofen and i don't even think i need them. Is that a bad thing? I find myself getting bored a lot easier than before and there is 10 inches of snow coming again tomorrow so that will keep me cooped up in the house again. We have been lucky with the winter we had but i really want the very nice days to start coming so i can start doing more stuff outside. The community I live in talks a lot and it used to worry me bad about what they think about me while i was on pills subs whatever. Now to be honest i really don't care what they say or think and they are so blind to problem that people have and they just don't look at people the same if they have a problem. Instead of support its criticism and helps put people in a deeper rut than there in. To me its just like living with its just like living with mental illness but more like a self induced one. My confidence feels like it is going back the moon and i feel my voice needs to be heard around this community. Also i finally picked up the guitar yesterday for the first time in years and played until my fingers bled. It truly is amazing the the senses you loose while that stuff is in your system.

  12. #42
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    5 weeks

    I want to start by thanking the people on this website once again because I'm not sure if I could have done it without you. Especially Cat your words of encouragement meant so much to me in the state i was in and you always know the right things to say, not just to me but to everybody else's blog i see you comment on.Thanks. And I'm upset i didn't get an invitation to a possible island getaway. lol. I hope your doing good Shelly.

    Now that I'm free from the subs I have to change my whole lifestyle because i can't sit still anymore and get very bored if i don't have something to do. Still don't feel 100% normal yet though and still lack energy at times. I feel like i want to start going to NA meetings but i'm too nervous to go by myself. Does anybody else here do NA or church for support after they are clean and does it help a lot? I feel like i can stay clean either way but I'm just wondering if people stay on the straight and narrow without a support group. But i should be going to church more often anyways. It was a hard road trying to get clean and still is, cravings come and go still and probably always will but i can never back there because its no life for anybody and my heart goes out to anybody who is still stuck there and wants out. You will have to work for it but I probably went about this the hardest way with jumping off that high of a dose and there is easier ways. No matter which way you decide you want out it is better on the other side.

  13. #43
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Good Morning William,

    What you're feeling now is so very typical at this point in your recovery. Boredom I think is a part of relearning what it feels like to be clean. It becomes extraordinarily clear how much time and effort we spent either getting pills, counting them, worrying about when and if we'll get sick. All of it. It consumed us. Suddenly, we find all this extra time and what do we do with it? I also found that all that pent up guilt prevented me from allowing myself down time when I needed it. When I was using, I HAD to keep moving, doing something. After a lot of self forgiveness and healing, the guilt began to subside and I relearned how to relax a little with my down time. Reading, enjoying a movie. Maybe playing the guitar? I have no talent. Wish I did. If I had a guitar, I'd be using it as an accent piece in the family room.

    I know exactly what you mean about your community. I also live in a tiny little rural town full of small minds. I would have been horrified to admit my problem but many of them knew anyway. What is liberating is to begin to talk about it openly. I think you'll find that addiction touches more people than we could ever imagine. Besides, my guilt has been replaced with pride. I often wish I was younger and had the time to go back to school to become an addiction counselor. I still have to work full time and take care of our family business as well. I'm the primary care giver for my two grandchildren too. So I know that it's not in the cards. It doesn't prevent me from having become a resource in my community for those who have children or other family members who are addicted. I talk openly about it and lend an ear. The others who still want to judge me? That's their problem not mine. I don't have room for that nonsense in my life.

    NA or AA meetings will help you. If you don't like the first one you go to, try another with a different group until you find one where you fit. Sometimes it takes more than one stop. If it's a good one, there will be at least one person to approach you. Not to dig your story out of you but to offer support and to welcome you to their group. You'll know you've found the fit when you see it.

    You are one inspiring dude, William. I'm glad you're doing better. Relax! It's time to smell the roses.

    Peace,

    Cat

  14. #44
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    I forgot to mention my experience with the over the counter stuff. I noticed that too about myself several weeks after my detox. I was reaching for something for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I didn't even think about it. I just wanted that feeling of taking something. One day I realized that this was a part of my habit. The habit of taking something. At least that habit was an easy one to break once I became aware of my motivation. For awhile, I just had to think about why I was reaching for the Excedrin. Do I need this? Why? Most often I just put the bottle back. So weird, right?

    Peace,

    Cat

  15. #45
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hey William. Bumping this up so that Dawnmarie can read this thread if she hasn't already.

    Hope you're still doing well, William. If you happen to be around, please give us a quick update.

    Peace,

    Cat

  16. #46
    Tryinghardbutsucks is offline New Member
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    I'm new here. A friend got me hooked on subs to get me off the pain mess. I didn't do much. It would take me 3 days to do a whole strip. I cut them up into pieces very small pieces, cause if took too much at a time would get sick. I can't tell husband about what's going on. He knew about the pain medication addiction. I came clean about it. I have been of subs now since last Friday morning when I took a smidgen of a piece I had left. I decided no more I can't take it anymore. Now I feel like >>>> and trying very hard not to go back on them. The hardest part having is sleeping and diarrhea. Oh and nervousness. Yesterday felt great but actually slept Tuesday night. Could not sleep last night and feel chappy today. I went and got vitamins 1 a day and b6 along with Hyland nerve tonic. It helped for a little bit but I'm not sure now. Anyway sorry for the long post but really don't know own what to do.

  17. #47
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Tryinghard

    You can do this i promise. Time goes fast and the worst will be over before you know it. I wish i had more time time right now but i am here to help. Hang in there

    Thanks Cat i will update soon

  18. #48
    Tryinghardbutsucks is offline New Member
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    Well it's been 1 full week today without the subs. I actually got some sleep last night, but it was hard to do. I finally told my husband it went better than expected. I feel little better today than yesterday. I think the sleep helps that tho. Thank u William for your reply. I know I can do this. I need to do this for myself and my family.

  19. #49
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Tryinghard

    I was actually going to mention a few things yesterday but didn't have enough time and telling your husband was one of them. It makes it so much easier when you have someone there for support and if they love you they will help you regardless of what you put them through. You've come so far now and to have one week in is amazing and it shows your strong. No looking back now and it should start getting better very soon although the sleep will come and go for a bit. Use your family as motivation and think of all the nice things you can do with them after you are through this. It's very rewarding and you will enjoy doing things with your family more than ever before. Hang in there I would love to see you get through this and if i can help it also makes me feel good because i was in your shoes not very long ago.

    What dose do you think you quit cold turkey from exactly? Hope your OK

  20. #50
    Tryinghardbutsucks is offline New Member
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    I really couldn't say what dose it was, I would cut a strip into 10-12 pieces and take over 3 days time. It was 8mg strip that all I know for sure. I got out of the house today and went for a drive and Walmart. It was kinda nice to do make me feel good to do. I have ate little more today than in the past couple days. I been drinking some water but probably not as much as I need to water actually make me feel bloated and sick. Guess my hardest issue is the sleep. I miss sleeping but I am having dreams again and I don't remember doing that for awhile now. Thank u William for all your help I really do appreciate it.

  21. #51
    DawnMarie81 is offline Junior Member
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    I have to tell you that your a tough Dude congrats I'm on day13 and my body aches terribly keep a headache..I was weak minded before wanting to stop but its inspiring to read your story.Its helped me to remember the end is near depression has nearly killed me the last 3 days

  22. #52
    Tryinghardbutsucks is offline New Member
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    I got 10 hours sleep last night, and after only 6 hours last 2 days I needed it. A friend told me to try valerian root. It's sold in the vitamin aisle. People coming off sleeping pills and going thru w/d use it to help them sleep. I researched it. It's good for sleep, anxiety, depression, muscle and joint pain and several other things. So far feeling pretty good today.

  23. #53
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Wait until you hit 90 days. You go full normal but with very very slight cravings triggers. But they are so weak, you forget the next minute. Just give it more time.

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