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Coming off opiates for good!
  1. #61
    Anonymous Guest

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    Thanks so much Randy. I can't wait to get out of this hell. I can't stop crying...
    Michelle

  2. #62
    Anonymous Guest

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    I have the cows sheet printed out. Getting ready, but my husband is worried about me being home alone during the induction. Do you think I'll be ok? All I'm going to do is be sick.

  3. #63
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Michelle,

    You're going to be fine. How are you doing? When was your last pill? I'll keep checking on you in case Randy or Bette isn't around (I guess I'm better than nuthin'). Stay close to your puter as the symptoms begin to arrive. Keep your chin up and get involved in a good movie or read or reread some threads here to occupy some time. You were taking all short acting stuff, right?

    You're not alone. Keep posting. Be brave and you're going to be just fine!!

    Peace,

    Cat
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  4. #64
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    I'm actually taking 2-30mgs of time release morphine too. I'm actually not stopping my dilaudid till tomorrow, because my husband wants to be home with me through the rough part. So my plan is to just take my morning dose of morphine, then the dilaudid throughout the day tommorrow and be done by 3pm. I'm hoping that I can sleep through some of the night before I start w/d's. I know taking that morphine puts the timeline longer. I'm so freaking scared. I know everyone has to go through it, and it's got to be better on the other side. That's all I've done is cry all day. Thank you for being here for me. It really helps to have someone who knows what their doing. I feel like I'm getting ready to jump off a cliff. Thanks again Cat.
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  5. #65
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Michelle..
    Don't worry about what other people say about crushing the pills..
    Many of us had to do that and we did just fine..
    Like Randy said
    Do not overthink this..
    You will go crazy..
    Why do you need to take so much till tomorrow?
    I would definely not over do it now with the morphine..
    You are going to prolong the whole process..
    You are gonna have to be uncomfortable
    You might as well start now..
    Just knowing you are changing your plan should be reassuring..
    Just take enough dilaudid to get through it..
    Try to relax..
    At some point you are going have to trust this process
    And want this more than anything
    Else on this planet..
    Cuz this. Sub thing is very much mental..
    So hang in there..
    Flush the rest of your pulls..
    It is to tempting to have them there..
    I would just keep a couple for tomorrow..

    Please don't feel bad most of us a
    Could not taper full agonist opiates.

    It is too easy to cave because they are right there..
    I wil check back
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-31-2015 at 01:00 AM.
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  6. #66
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    I agree with Bette 100% Michelle. Why continue taking the dilaudid and morphine? Have to start sometime and may as well be NOW. I understand how difficult this is for you. On the one hand you really don't want to give up your little friend the drugs. On the other hand you're tired of all the problems it's causing. It's a rope pull in both directions. I was there, I understand.

    Each time you take a dose you delay the inevitable. Why not stop taking everything and we can get you inducted real soon. Only have to be sick a short time and when the right dose of sub is in your system you'll begin feeling better almost immediately.

    Randy
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  7. #67
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randy35 View Post
    I agree with Bette 100% Michelle. Why continue taking the dilaudid and morphine? Have to start sometime and may as well be NOW. I understand how difficult this is for you. On the one hand you really don't want to give up your little friend the drugs. On the other hand you're tired of all the problems it's causing. It's a rope pull in both directions. I was there, I understand.

    Each time you take a dose you delay the inevitable. Why not stop taking everything and we can get you inducted real soon. Only have to be sick a short time and when the right dose of sub is in your system you'll begin feeling better almost immediately.

    Randy
    Michelle! OMG! Yesterday was the first time i accessed our Forum from a laptop. It's been all on the iphone for me and i couldn't find your thread, Got it now! I'm glad everybody's there to help you. I was having a few rough spots for a bit and didn't check back in. So very sorry.
    Don't be afraid--except of precipitated withdrawals! Listen to R & B very closely about WHEN to induct. I have made the error (or my doc did) and i can tell you--don't take the sub too soon--wait til you're good and sick--and i mean sick not just uncomfortable.
    You are extremely fortunate to have R & B helping you with the induction dosage. I got dosed in a hospital and have no idea how much they gave me. It will be sooooo much better doing it this way where you induct AT THE LOWEST POSSIBLE DOSE. Michelle, subs are not like our usual opiate friends, where you can take more if you feel lousy. With subs, LESS IS MORE! You will feel better at the lowest dose that curbs your wds. This is truth incarnate!
    Take more, feel lousy. That's the trip.
    Don't worry. I'm glad the husband will be there with you. It will keep you from caving in when the pain comes. But Michelle, you've already been in pain for so long--think of it this way--the more pain, the closer you are to inducting and u will feel ok then. Like a reward!
    You can def do this! If Bette and I kicked methadone, girl, you can kick these opiates too!!!!
    Get yourself ready to FIGHT for your life now.....
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  8. #68
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    Thank you all..Bette, Randy and Ming. I took my last morphine this morning, and just took my last dilaudid! OMG I can't believe I'm doing this. I wanted to wait to take my last dose so my husband could be with me tomorrow when I go into the worst of it, but because it's New Years day he had to work. I'm doing this all by myself. I should be ok, I mean I'm just going to be sitting here sick anyway. Not really anything he can do, but he is scared to leave me alone. I hate that I have to stress him out, but it will be better on the other side. I know it's New Years and all, you guys probably all have plans, but I hope that someone can check on me. I know it's a lot to ask. You all are like my online family, and I cherish every post. It really makes me feel good to know you care!!
    I'm so scared!! and to top it off, I started my monthly today!!
    So, knowing my doses does anyone think I will probably start feeling ill tomorrow morning?
    I have my cows sheet, but not having anyone here to make sure I'm scoring right, makes things a little complicated.
    I know I'm not going to die, but I know I'm probably going to feel like it.
    I think what makes me the most nervous is when to dose. The last time I was put on subs, I had just been released from rehab. I hadn't had anything for 10 days and it was all a blur.
    Anyway, I wan't to wish all of you a happy New Year's Eve. I hope everyone rings in the new year surrounded with people they love. Be safe and have a great time.
    I will be starting the new year off in w/d's but what a way to start my year off right! Getting clean from opiates and stabilizing on subs. Wish me luck all
    Blessings
    Michelle
    xxxoo
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  9. #69
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Michelle!!

    I don't have a life. I'm here with the grandkids. Leaving in a few minutes to get food for tonight and tomorrow. I'll be sitting in my bed with m laptop in front of me. You and me, Baby!! I think you'll be surprised by how many of us don't do anything exciting on New Year's Eve. I haven't in years and I don't miss it. Going to look to see if I can still find a good movie to rent. Woohooo.

    If I were to judge by me, I don't think you're going to have much trouble at all tonight if you can settle yourself down some. That's where I can come in. I'll sing, dance and entertain you.

    Check on you in a bit. Off to get groceries. So exciting. I have to tell you.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  10. #70
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    So, knowing my doses does anyone think I will probably start feeling ill tomorrow morning?
    I have my cows sheet, but not having anyone here to make sure I'm scoring right, makes things a little complicated.
    I know I'm not going to die, but I know I'm probably going to feel like it.


    Michelle,

    It's nearly impossible to know exactly when you'll be ready to induct. The only thing I'm unsure of is the Morphine you took because it's the time-release variety you said. You may be ready in the morning, but you may not. We're all different in the way we metabolize things. I say don't worry about WHEN you'll be ready….let it happen naturally.

    The important thing is to NOT take any kind of med or supplement that will make you FEEL BETTER. That defeats the purpose and will only delay any progress made on the Cows score.

    Another very important thing is to score yourself Honestly and Accurately. It's very easy to give yourself a higher score on any of the symptoms when all you want to do is get it over with. BE careful with your scoring. Would be nice to have someone else score you, but you can do it, just score honestly.

    I'll do my best to check in on you later this evening. Please try to relax. Watch a comedy, post, post, post here on the forum even if no one is responding right away. Cat said she will be around and let me just say that she is a TRUE TREASURE full of compassion and knowledge. We are so lucky to have her remain here to guide all of us in the right direction.

    Remember….take NOTHING to make you feel better.

    Do this right and do it once!

    Talk to you lare I promise!

    Randy

  11. #71
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Thank you all..Bette, Randy and Ming. I took my last morphine this morning, and just took my last dilaudid! OMG I can't believe I'm doing this. I wanted to wait to take my last dose so my husband could be with me tomorrow when I go into the worst of it, but because it's New Years day he had to work. I'm doing this all by myself. I should be ok, I mean I'm just going to be sitting here sick anyway. Not really anything he can do, but he is scared to leave me alone. I hate that I have to stress him out, but it will be better on the other side. I know it's New Years and all, you guys probably all have plans, but I hope that someone can check on me. I know it's a lot to ask. You all are like my online family, and I cherish every post. It really makes me feel good to know you care!!
    I'm so scared!! and to top it off, I started my monthly today!!
    So, knowing my doses does anyone think I will probably start feeling ill tomorrow morning?
    I have my cows sheet, but not having anyone here to make sure I'm scoring right, makes things a little complicated.
    I know I'm not going to die, but I know I'm probably going to feel like it.
    I think what makes me the most nervous is when to dose. The last time I was put on subs, I had just been released from rehab. I hadn't had anything for 10 days and it was all a blur.
    Anyway, I wan't to wish all of you a happy New Year's Eve. I hope everyone rings in the new year surrounded with people they love. Be safe and have a great time.
    I will be starting the new year off in w/d's but what a way to start my year off right! Getting clean from opiates and stabilizing on subs. Wish me luck all
    Blessings
    Michelle
    xxxoo
    Hey Michelle!
    My plan is to be right here tonight and tomorrow. Feel free to post to my thread anytime. I will do better at answering especially now that i've switched to laptop.
    Don't sweat this! You just took a healthy dose of dilaudid plus you had morphine.
    A lot is in our minds. Not all of it, of course but the fear of the unknown and of wds. Fear is a mind game.
    Determination is what gets you through Fear. That and the knowledge that this is a doable task. Even when u think it is Not doable, it still is! It just seems like it's impossible sometimes.
    But it's not. It will take you a while to reach 26 on the Cows scale. Don't push yourself into nervousness worrying about what it will be like. You know what it's like. It is what it is.
    Your husband will be back long before you reach a 26! Takes a while. Don't want to rush this. You have enough drugs in your system to last a while. Certainly more than 24 hours!
    Relax. Be happy for yourself that you have chosen to do this wonderful thing not only for Yourself, but for your loving Husband as well!
    Good way to welcome in the New Year! Proud of you!
    If i was able to do this, Michelle, you certainly can too!
    I promise you that!
    Happy New Year!

  12. #72
    Anonymous Guest

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    Just got back from grocery shopping. Feeling fine. Dinner and a movie with the hubby. Getting excited to get this done. Can't wait to be free of the opiates! Thanks for all the support. You guys are the best !!
    Michelle, xxoo
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  13. #73
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Just got back from grocery shopping. Feeling fine. Dinner and a movie with the hubby. Getting excited to get this done. Can't wait to be free of the opiates! Thanks for all the support. You guys are the best !!
    Michelle, xxoo
    Happy New Year Michelle and Hubs!!

  14. #74
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I will be home tonight too..
    Because I have to work tomorrow!
    You have lots of support here..
    Just hide your clocks and Go about your business tonight!..
    It will be comforting for your husband to know that soon his wife will be happy again..
    Maybe it is better that he does not have to sit and watch everything..
    You are going to do much better on sub..
    I really feel that and I know that you are aware that it is important to induce to the lowest dose possible..
    But it is definitely worth repeating
    Because our natural tendency is
    More is better.

    But not with sub..
    Although
    Sub is not going to be
    The answer to all your problems..

    But at least it will most likely
    Give you the mental boost
    You need to get out of this funk.

    We have assembled the best in the business
    On this board to help you!
    What a great way to start the
    New Year!
    Rock on
    Michelle!
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-31-2015 at 07:09 PM.
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  15. #75
    Anonymous Guest

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    Bette,
    Thanks for all the encouragement. I got through the night with no problem. But this morning I can feel it all starting up. I know it will be a long day. Going to try and hold out at least till my husband gets home at 3pm. That way he can evaluate me using the cows. Happy New Year Bette, and yes this will be a great one!
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  16. #76
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hang in there Michelle. A matter of hours. Try to stay busy or involved in movies....anything. It's easy to begin to obsess and wait for symptoms. We both know it'll be obvious when they arrive in full force. You sound good! Finally ready to get this done. I know how hard this has been for you but it won't be much longer.

    I have an appt at 8 for work...I know! New Year's Day for Pete's sake. I won't be too long, maybe an hour so I'll check on you mid to late morning. I'm sure that Bette and Randy will be in to check on you too. They'll get you on track.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  17. #77
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    Happy New Year Michelle. I have not been on much, ok, not at all, for a long time. As you can see, my New Year's Resolution is to give back. There are so many neat people on here. Listen to them. The thing you must remember is you are not alone in all of this. Other people have went through what you are going through (some worse) and have come out glowing on the other side. You will too. I can see that you want to. That is the key. Once you have, the real work begins. Staying on the good side. It takes work and being mindful every single day. I cannot stress enough how important exercise is. I am sorry that I have not had time this morning to read your whole story. I am hoping you are physically able to do this. Take a small walk today. Tomorrow, make it longer. It really does make a difference! You will do great.
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  18. #78
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    Hi Hope, yeah my physical fitness isn't up to par. Broken heel in sept. That's what got me on the opiates again. Was on subs, but I was on 24mgs a day! I know I won't be going back on that dose! They say everything happens for a reason. I think it was to get me off that high sub dose. Anyway, thanks for taking time to stop and offer your words of comfort and encouragement! It's funny that you did, cuz I was reading some of your posts just a couple minutes ago.
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  19. #79
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    Hey Cat, Think I posted to you on your thread? I get confused who's threads who's. Thanks for checking on me. The matter of hrs thing you said really helps. It's only for a few hours right?? Talk to you later. Hope your appt goes well.
    Happy New Years!!!
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  20. #80
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Bette,
    Thanks for all the encouragement. I got through the night with no problem. But this morning I can feel it all starting up. I know it will be a long day. Going to try and hold out at least till my husband gets home at 3pm. That way he can evaluate me using the cows. Happy New Year Bette, and yes this will be a great one!
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Michelle!
    What do u mean You're going to try and hold out til your husband comes home? Hold out for exactly what? I really doubt that you will go into full blown wds since you took the dilaudid at 3 pm yesterday. I think you had better be really careful about being in full wd before you induct on subs.
    Michelle, i tell you that precipitated wds is worse than any other wd. Ask anyone who's been through it. I have. It sucked.
    You might think about really scoring that 26 on the COWS sheet before doing any induction.
    I don't mean to be contrary, just realized you're thinking of inducting before 3 pm today. Not a good idea because of the dose you took at 3pm yesterday. I think it's still in your system.
    A matter of hours could be like 48 hours from last opiates or when you get to 26 on the Cows.
    If i misunderstood your intention, forgive the over-zealousness in my response!
    Just making sure we're all on the same page here...
    Since i am not a nurse, i would ask Bette if she thinks 24 hours is enough to wait..
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-01-2016 at 09:17 AM.

  21. #81
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    For sure, Ming. There is no timetable for this and that is why scoring honestly on the COWS is so important. Michelle--I know you know not to try this and you mentioned waiting for your husband so that he can help you be accurate in scoring. Right? Right.

    Check on you later.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  22. #82
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle,

    For SOME people waiting 24 hrs is long enough, but for others it's not nearly enough time to wait. Certainly wasn't for me as it took nearly 90 hrs before I hit the 26 score. That's why the Cows is sooooo important. Why take ANY chance of going into PWD'S. It's like regular wd's X 100!!! You DO NOT want to take ANY chance whatsoever of putting yourself into those dreaded wd's. Score yourself honestly and get to a score of 26 BEFORE taking a songle dose of sub.

    Let us know what your Cows score is right now please.

    Randy
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  23. #83
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    I did my cows and I'm at 25. But I'm still going to wait till my husband comes home and can check me to make sure it's right. I know that I won't dose before I'm totally ready. Thank you guys for making sure I'm doing this right. I can't stay on too long because I keep having to run to the bathroom. Wow this is crazy! I was lucky to have any bowl movements at all, now I can't stop! Sick to my stomach but no throwing up at all. I know I have to start really drinking. Everything hurts too. Anyway, I know I have to stick it out and do it right. I did think buy the time he got home I would be in w/d's though. When he gets home it will be over 30 hrs since morpine and about 24 hrs for dilaudid.
    Michelle
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  24. #84
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    I did my cows and I'm at 25. But I'm still going to wait till my husband comes home and can check me to make sure it's right. I know that I won't dose before I'm totally ready. Thank you guys for making sure I'm doing this right. I can't stay on too long because I keep having to run to the bathroom. Wow this is crazy! I was lucky to have any bowl movements at all, now I can't stop! Sick to my stomach but no throwing up at all. I know I have to start really drinking. Everything hurts too. Anyway, I know I have to stick it out and do it right. I did think buy the time he got home I would be in w/d's though. When he gets home it will be over 30 hrs since morpine and about 24 hrs for dilaudid.
    Michelle

    Great idea to wait until your hubby gets home and checks your score. You can hang on that long. I know you'll be feeling miserable, but as soon as you get a couple doses of sub in your system you'll begin feeling much, much better.

    Randy
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  25. #85
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    Thanks Randy!!

  26. #86
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle!
    Thinking of you and rooting for you! How did it go when husband got home?

  27. #87
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Done!!

    My husband came home around 1:30, and he scored me at 30. So I started the process and it went unbelievable smooth. I can't even get my mind wrapped around this. So far I've taken 6mg. I'm going to try and stay with that. Hopefully I can stabilize for a little bit and start working towards my future. I just so dumbfounded right now. I should of definitely done this sooner! I'm off the opiates and I'm so happy that my husband and I can start living again!!
    Thanks to everyone for all your support, I could never of done this without you. I was not in my right mind. The opiates were taking hold of me AGAIN. I should of know that I could never just reduce, and be done with them. If I could of just reduced faster or just stop using all together would of been even better. Anyway, it's done and over and I'm on my way into 2016 free of the merry go round. What a great day!!!
    Blessings to everyone and thanks again. Happy New Years!!!
    Michelle
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  28. #88
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    YAY Michelle. Been thinking of you all day. Well done!

    Peace,

    Cat

  29. #89
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    My husband came home around 1:30, and he scored me at 30. So I started the process and it went unbelievable smooth. I can't even get my mind wrapped around this. So far I've taken 6mg. I'm going to try and stay with that. Hopefully I can stabilize for a little bit and start working towards my future. I just so dumbfounded right now. I should of definitely done this sooner! I'm off the opiates and I'm so happy that my husband and I can start living again!!
    Thanks to everyone for all your support, I could never of done this without you. I was not in my right mind. The opiates were taking hold of me AGAIN. I should of know that I could never just reduce, and be done with them. If I could of just reduced faster or just stop using all together would of been even better. Anyway, it's done and over and I'm on my way into 2016 free of the merry go round. What a great day!!!
    Blessings to everyone and thanks again. Happy New Years!!!
    Michelle


    WOW….I'm so PROUD of you, Michelle!!! You did it!!!

    Isn't it amazing how you can go from being sick in wd's to feeling quite normal in a very short time without the feeling of euphoria or being high?

    What I would do if I were you is to remain on the 6mg a few more days, maybe a week or so to make sure you're completely stabilized, then begin the taper process. Don't worry about that right now, just relax and have some quality time for yourself and your hubby!

    Take the sub at the same time everyday. You can take one dose or split the 6mg and take 3mg am and 3mg pm about 8-10 hrs apart. Up to you.

    I'm so happy for you!

    Randy
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  30. #90
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Wow!
    See what happens when you trust the process..
    You did it..
    I am proud of you..
    See 6 mg is plenty can you even imagine that you were on 24 mg ?
    Crazy huh?
    Just sit and enjoy the fact that you are out of the
    Funk!
    You are gonna be ok!
    Happy New Year!
    What a
    Rockin
    Way
    To Start
    2016!

    Must
    Be
    Indicative of the
    Year to come!

    Give your
    Hubby a hug
    For us!

    He did a great job too..
    Take care
    Bette

    Just curious how did you decide 6 mg was a good dose?
    I am going to help a friend induce next week
    And she keeps asking me how will she know what is a good dose..
    Honestly they started me too high too..
    So I never got to make that choice when to stop during my induction..
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-01-2016 at 11:43 PM.
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