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Coming off opiates for good!
  1. #121
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iluv2smile View Post
    I don't think it has to do with cutting the pills either..
    I have said this before but your doses were not high..
    I too was on 50-60 10 mg loratabs a day
    And over 150-250 mg of methadone for
    10 years..
    The dr induced me to 24 mg and at that time more was better for me ..
    But I felt better at 6 mg
    Then really good at 2 mg..

    You might want to do some soul searching..
    It was just a couple of days ago you were taking pills from the hiding places..
    Now you are suppose to believe less is better..
    It took me months to really get that concept..
    We are stubborn..
    I am not judging you at all..
    I hope you know that..
    I a, just trying to help to see what is going on..
    Even when you were on subs
    More was always the answer..
    It is gonna take a little proof and time
    To reverse that thinking and feeling..
    It is ok..
    But you have trusted this process
    Now you can trust that too..
    You are gonna be ok..
    Michelle..
    Please be patient with your body you have put it through a lot..
    But our bodies are amazing if we let them do their thing..
    Will check back
    Bette
    Michelle!
    How's it going? Bette speaks the truth. We feel better on lower doses of sub than on the higher ones. It is total reverse-thinking for us, eh? I screwed up my whole taper, i feel, coming in way too high.
    Less is more. At least, it was for me.
    Reading the list of drugs others were taking, your habit was a fraction of theirs. Not to minimize your discomfort, but we want you out of pain.
    I hope you've been reading what R and B have shared.
    We're all lucky to be alive.
    Post if you can. Concerned for you...
    Here for you...

  2. #122
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Yes Michelle.
    Ming makes a great point
    We are not trying to minimize your pain at all.
    My goal was to let you know if it was doable for us
    It is doable for you.
    I have to work today..
    But will check in this pm..
    I spoke with a friend of mine
    Who is a nurse and also on the generic sub
    She has not had any problems cutting the pills..
    Ok
    Hope that helps
    Take care
    Bette
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  3. #123
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Michelle!
    No matter what's happened, please try to check in and let us know how it's going.
    No matter what you may have possibly encountered, we've been there too. Stuff you wouldn't even believe....
    Thinking of you. Hang in there! Posting would enable R and B to advise you. That could help to more quickly alleviate your discomfort. That's the point right? To Stop Suffering!
    Here for u Michelle...

  4. #124
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    I think everyone might be thinking, I'm trying to get on a higher dose of subs, but that's quite the opposite. I thought 6mg was a small enough dose, and I felt fine the 1st day so I stayed with it. I should of inducted properly and started on the .5 and went from there. I thought that I would need at least 2mg, but anyway 2nd day felt worse and the 3rd worse yet. It's 6 days in and I'm still not feeling right, and I keep decreasing my dose. I have a call into the dr to see about getting 2mg tabs. maybe that will make a difference.
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  5. #125
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    I think everyone might be thinking, I'm trying to get on a higher dose of subs, but that's quite the opposite. I thought 6mg was a small enough dose, and I felt fine the 1st day so I stayed with it. I should of inducted properly and started on the .5 and went from there. I thought that I would need at least 2mg, but anyway 2nd day felt worse and the 3rd worse yet. It's 6 days in and I'm still not feeling right, and I keep decreasing my dose. I have a call into the dr to see about getting 2mg tabs. maybe that will make a difference.
    Michelle!
    There you are! Checked back in to see if you surfaced. No, i didn't think u wanted more subs. I think you wanted to just feel better. Yes, both of us should have just followed the protocol and begun with the small doses. duh. Hindsight.
    How much have you taken today?
    Can you get the strips instead of tabs? The strips are way easier to break into small doses. Even if u have the 8 mg pills, do what Randy says and crush them up with the back of a spoon. I know u probably already know all this. Forgive me for repeating this stuff.
    What i noticed is that when i began, my brain was still saturated with chems. Otherwise, I never would've taken such a high dose (8). The fog didn't begin to lift til i got down around 2 mg.
    The strips are sooooo much easier to cut than the tabs are to crush!
    Are you going to post over in Sub Treatment Forum?
    Pixie is mia. Hope she's ok.
    Rootin for ya Michelle.
    Even if we can't find Heaven, I'll walk thru Hell with you...
    You can do this! I know u can!!

  6. #126
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    How's it going Michelle? Hope you're starting to feel better. Post when you can...

  7. #127
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    No I don't think you want more sub..

    I think you just want to feel better..
    I hope your dr has an answer because if he doesn't I don't know what to say..
    Does this dose feel a lot different than24 mg?
    It feels different than24 mg..
    For sure..
    It is hard to explain..
    How did you feel on 24 mg?
    Normal
    Numb
    Energetic

    How are you feeling now?
    If he wants you to take more and you think it will help
    It is your decision..
    We just want to see you feel better
    And get out of this funk..
    Right now I don't really know if you are better on the sub than you were on the full agonist opiates..
    Do you think you feel any better or no?
    I know I feel for you and hope something changes..
    Anyway I said I would check in after work..
    See you later
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-07-2016 at 12:35 AM.

  8. #128
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle!
    Good morning. I hope you can post today. How are u feeling and how much did u wind up taking?
    Thinking of you and wishing for your comfort...

  9. #129
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    Good morning all,
    I can't get over how much I'm still sick to my stomach. Taking only 4 mg now. I know that's still probably high, but maybe in a couple days I'll try smaller dose. I really think it's the generic brand that I'm taking. It just doesn't agree with me. My doc isn't helping, cuz I think he cut my lorazapam in 1/2. (from 4mg-2mg) Isn't that a lot at once? I'm not sure, have to have hubby pick up script today. I don't mind getting off the lorazapam, but I'm still battling trying to stabilize on subs. Am taking all the vitamins and keeping up with protein and hydrating. Guess I just have to stick it out.
    This is not going to break me!!! I'm so angry that I finally want to get rid of it all and just have a go with nothing, but I know that will be even worse. Like I said, not going to break me. I will get clean in 2016 and take my life BACK!!
    Blessings to all
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  10. #130
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle
    I think you should stay at your 6 mg
    Till stable..
    Till stable mean little to no withdrawals
    If you drop now before stable you will feel crappppppy through your whole taper
    I don't think anyone of us want you to drop before you are stable.
    Even if you could of stabilized on less
    And we are not sure you could off
    You induced onto 6 mg
    I know Randy said that is ok too.
    We will worry about the taper once you are stable
    I would not even involve your dr because he is probaly going to take something away
    And you are right going that low on the Ativan right now is probaly not a good idea
    If I were you I would take 3 mg of sub in the am
    And 3 mg 8-10 hrs later
    And
    Stay there for at least 4-5 days
    It is up to you off course.
    But I am not surprised you are not feeling well yet if you have not gotten stable on your induction dose..
    You are going get clean..
    Please don't worry
    But this is not a race..
    And if you do this taper the way it was written
    It will be doable
    But you got to be stable before you drop..
    Even though we say 6 mg is high
    It is nothing compared to 20 mg or 24 mg

    Progress not perfection..
    Little steps add up to big milestones..
    I have to work but will check back tonight..

    Omg
    We are getting so much rain..
    It is awesome
    Bette
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  11. #131
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Good morning all,
    I can't get over how much I'm still sick to my stomach. Taking only 4 mg now. I know that's still probably high, but maybe in a couple days I'll try smaller dose. I really think it's the generic brand that I'm taking. It just doesn't agree with me. My doc isn't helping, cuz I think he cut my lorazapam in 1/2. (from 4mg-2mg) Isn't that a lot at once? I'm not sure, have to have hubby pick up script today. I don't mind getting off the lorazapam, but I'm still battling trying to stabilize on subs. Am taking all the vitamins and keeping up with protein and hydrating. Guess I just have to stick it out.
    This is not going to break me!!! I'm so angry that I finally want to get rid of it all and just have a go with nothing, but I know that will be even worse. Like I said, not going to break me. I will get clean in 2016 and take my life BACK!!
    Blessings to all
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Hey Michelle!
    That would be a very big drop in your benzos if he cut you from 4-2. Randy directed us to a site run by a Dr Ashton or Ashland who is in UK and says the drop should be very small. Like 2% and go much slower than the sub taper. I can look up the post if u like.
    I am soooo sorry ur suffering. The same thing happened to me.
    Please reach out to Randy and ask advice. We missed you and couldn't contact you.
    Bette says stay at 6 She says Randy agreed. That's what i would do if they told me to.....
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-07-2016 at 09:37 AM.
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  12. #132
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    Bette,
    where do you live that you love getting rain? It must be someplace warm. I'm near the artic circle. (Better known as upstate NY 20 min. from canadian border) It's just started to get cold. X-mas day it was almost 60 which is crazy warm for this time of year.
    Any way on to my sub dose....I am going to try to take 3mgs in am and 3mgs in pm of subs to try and stabilize. Just like you said. The problem is I get sick every time I take my dose. Nausea has plague me with this med for a long time. When I first started it, (switching from suboxone strips) I was sick and my doc had boosted me up 1mg (he thought it was w/d symptoms) Which made my dose 3.5 = 28mgs. I didn't have that high or euphoric feeling when he moved me up, (if fact even with the subs I never got that high that some people talk about) just more upset stomach. He kept telling me my body just had to acclimate to the different drug. Then about 6 mos later when I felt better for a while, I wanted to start weening to get back down to 2.5, I again got sick. Nausea like before, but I had only dropped to 3.25. Never thinking the nausea was from that, I actually thought is was early menopause. Anyway, I just think this type of generic sub is not agreeing with me. My problem is my insurance won't pay for the sub strips.
    I'm going to try and call them, but you being a nurse, would you know if there is a way he (my doc) can write the script to get around that? I'm mean, if a med that you need is making you sick, you should be able to get one that doesn't right? You should but the insurance probably doesn't care.
    Anyway, I'm determined to beat this. Whatever I have to do! I want to stable out ASAP!!! That's my main goal right now! Just to not feel sick to my stomach will feel like heaven!!
    Thanks for all your advise, taking the time to try and figure me out, means the world to me!!!
    Blessings to you,
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-07-2016 at 10:00 AM.
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  13. #133
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Bette,
    where do you live that you love getting rain? It must be someplace warm. I'm near the artic circle. (Better known as upstate NY 20 min. from canadian border) It's just started to get cold. X-mas day it was almost 60 which is crazy warm for this time of year.
    Any way on to my sub dose....I am going to try to take 3mgs in am and 3mgs in pm of subs to try and stabilize. Just like you said. The problem is I get sick every time I take my dose. Nausea has plague me with this med for a long time. When I first started it, (switching from suboxone strips) I was sick and my doc had boosted me up 1mg (he thought it was w/d symptoms) Which made my dose 3.5 = 28mgs. I didn't have that high or euphoric feeling when he moved me up, (if fact even with the subs I never got that high that some people talk about) just more upset stomach. He kept telling me my body just had to acclimate to the different drug. Then about 6 mos later when I felt better for a while, I wanted to start weening to get back down to 2.5, I again got sick. Nausea like before, but I had only dropped to 3.25. Never thinking the nausea was from that, I actually thought is was early menopause. Anyway, I just think this type of generic sub is not agreeing with me. My problem is my insurance won't pay for the sub strips.
    I'm going to try and call them, but you being a nurse, would you know if there is a way he (my doc) can write the script to get around that? I'm mean, if a med that you need is making you sick, you should be able to get one that doesn't right? You should but the insurance probably doesn't care.
    Anyway, I'm determined to beat this. Whatever I have to do! I want to stable out ASAP!!! That's my main goal right now! Just to not feel sick to my stomach will feel like heaven!!
    Thanks for all your advise, taking the time to try and figure me out, means the world to me!!!
    Blessings to you,
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Hey Michelle
    I never felt euphoric either. In fact, the best i ever felt on subs was around 1 mg!
    I don't see why the generic is any diff from the name brand subs. It's not likely. Ingredients have to be the same.
    Who put that thought in your head because i've read where Randy wrote to someone about that. He said they're the same. Like Bayer aspirin >> Dollar General brand. Same same.
    Looking back on my records, i never got stable on my first 8 mg dose. I skipped the next day and dropped to 4mg the following day. Big mistake. You know i was sick all the way down.
    Try what Bette says.
    Reach out to Randy.
    Here for ya!
    Upstate NY! I lived there a while, just not as far north as you!
    love it
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-07-2016 at 10:53 AM.
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  14. #134
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Any way on to my sub dose....I am going to try to take 3mgs in am and 3mgs in pm of subs to try and stabilize. Just like you said. The problem is I get sick every time I take my dose. Nausea has plague me with this med for a long time. When I first started it, (switching from suboxone strips) I was sick and my doc had boosted me up 1mg (he thought it was w/d symptoms) Which made my dose 3.5 = 28mgs.

    Michelle,

    I'm asking you to trust me on the suggestion I'm about to give you. First let me say that when I first read your last couple of posts that I was without a doubt going to agree with Bette that you should remain on 6mg until your body accepts that dose and you get stable. I would have insisted you remain right where you are for several days. Under any other circumstances I would have suggested the exact dame thing. But after reading the sentence of yours that I highlighted above in this post about you getting sick everytime you dose I have reconsidered my opinion on this.

    I honestly believe it's just too much sub for you Michelle. You know it's strong, but did you know it's about 30 X stronger than Morphine? Well it is. And the key is what you said….you get sick evrytime you dose. That tells me it's way too much sub for you.

    So what I'm going to ask you to do is to not take more more sub the rest of today. Hopefully you haven't taken your second dose yet. If you have that's ok, we can deal with it. If you have taken your 2nd dose then try you very best to not dose at all tomorrow. Need to get some of the sub out of your system. In one day not much will dissipate, but for our purposes it will be fine. Your body may fight you, but I assure you it will be mostly mental. You have plenty of sub still in your system to get you by a days or two without dosing. So no sub at all tomorrow (Friday).

    Then on the following day (Saturday) plan on making your new daily dose a total of just 4mg. Take 2mg in the morning and another 2mg in the afternoon about 8-10 hours after the first dose. Remain on the 4mg for at least 4 days to gibve your system time to adjust and we'll see how your feeling at that time.

    I absolutely guarantee you 100% that's exactly what I would do myself if I were in your same situation. I believe if we can get your dose down a bit and allow several days for you to get stable you will begin feeling much, much better.

    Bette - I hope you realize I'm not disagreeing with you one bit. I just think this is the best way to go for Michelle right now. At least we'll find out soon of the higher dose was actually the problem.

    Michelle - I don't believe it's the generic sub pills at all.

    I also believe your doctor was wrong asking you to reduce your benzo use in half. They need to be tapered much, much slower and by 2-5% as Ming said. The manual she speaks of is called the Ashton manual written by Dr. Heather Ashton the leading authority on benzo use, wd from benzo's, and how to safely get free of them.

    While we're dealing with your sub dose and taper I personally wouldn't be messing with a benzo taper at all. Take care of that later after your off the subs. We would never know if any problems might be associated with the subs or the benzo's.

    Let me know what you think of my suggestions. Take care and hope you feel better real soon. I think lower the sub dose will make that happen.

    Randy
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  15. #135
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Randy
    I understand what you are saying and am glad you chimed in because I honestly did not know what to suggest.
    I think it is absolutely the best idea for her to get stable on whichever dose..
    4mg would be better..
    I did not know if that would be enough mentally.
    And I definely don't think she should change the benzo dose at all right now..

    Michelle
    If you get sick every time after you dose
    Then it may be the sub is too high Randy is right..
    I did not realize that before..
    Yes
    Your dr can get around the insurance issue..
    He can write for the films or whichever works for you..
    I know the suboxone films website had a $ 50 coupon so that covered my co pay..
    I know my friend could not take the films it gave her issues in her mouth
    So she needed the pills..
    I think the co pay was just higher..

    I did not get high off the sub either..
    Just felt normal..
    I feel very similiar today ..
    Just not numb..
    I hope this dose change will help you..
    I am so sorry you are going through this..
    I will check back..
    Bette

    Michelle
    I live is San Diego..
    We need the rain!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-07-2016 at 11:57 PM.
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  16. #136
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle!
    I am soooo happy and relieved that R and B got back to you! If it were me, i would do what Randy said.
    As addicted people, we tend to think we need more of whatever. We all also think our habits warrant Large amounts of help and care--that is, Large amounts of sub. We couldn't be more Wrong thinking that way.
    Less is More. Small amounts of sub take away the wds from other drugs and enable us to feel ok. But it seems (contrary to our logic) that Large amounts of subs just make us Sick to our Stomachs. Boy do i know about that one!
    Your experiences will probably save many others from the suffering you and i endured. Keep posting so you'll also have a record of your achievements and milestones.
    I ain't preaching. I am no one to emulate. I've screwed up time and again. But Michelle, it doesn't have to be that hard. First rule: Open mind to accept and follow advice from Those Who Have Gone Ahead.
    I was stubborn and altho i'd read Robert325'S taper sheet 100 times, i still didn't induct the right way and suffered for months. It doesn't have to be that way. You're at the beginning of this journey now. There is time to correct taper errors.
    Don't punish yourself. Bette worked thru her entire taper because she didn't feel sickly like i did.
    You deserve a real chance now. Allow yourself to have that chance. You've worked hard for it. Claim it!
    I felt best at the lower doses. You will too.
    Here for you.Hope u can post today...
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  17. #137
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    Thank you all for taking the time to write such lengthy post and explain it all so well. I actually have gotten my films today and took my first dose without incident. I told the dr I was taking 6mgs, but I only took 2mgs this morning and will take my 2nd 2mg dose around 3-4pm.
    I agree with everything you say, Randy, but the film I took this morning actually made me feel normal. More normal than when I took 2mgs of the pill. Maybe it wasn't the generic, but the way I was cutting/crushing it up. I couldn't tell if I really was taking 2mgs or not.
    Anyway, I have the films now and will try to hold out on my 2nd dose today and maybe wait till tomorrow to try and do what you said and only take 4mgs for the day. Split them up 2 in the am and 2 in the pm 10-12 hrs apart.
    Thanks again guys. You have stuck in there so long and supported me through all these little bumps in the road. Hopefully with your help, after I'm stable for a while, I think I will finally get off these for good and be free of everything. With you all at my side, there is nothing I can't do.
    Randy, I haven't said anything lately and I just want to take this time to say I hope your brother is doing well and getting better everyday, and hope that you are enjoying your reunion with your family.
    Ming, hope you are feeling ok and also getting better everyday. I haven't had a chance to check on you so I hope your sailing along sub free!
    and last but not least Bette, I know the holidays must of been a little rough this year, being the 1st without your dad, but I hope that you found some joy and will continue to heal, throughout the coming year.
    2016 is going to be the best year for me I just know it.
    blessings to all of you
    Michelle
    xxxooo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-08-2016 at 01:15 PM.
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  18. #138
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Michelle,

    The suggestion for you to skip taking a dose was for yesterday. If you've already taken 2mg this morning then go ahead and take 2mg this afternoon. Stay on 4mg total for at least 4 more days. I'm sure it's going to work out fine for you. And take the sub at the same times each day. That's important.

    So happy you were able to get the film strips. Much, much easier to cut into the smaller doses. Use some tweezers to hold the film and small scissors to cut with. When the time comes for you to taper lower you can then cut the strip in halves by eyeballing it and get your correct doses.

    Glad you're feeling better Michelle!

    Randy
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  19. #139
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Michelle
    Just checking in with you. How you doing?

  20. #140
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle
    I am so glad you got the films and are feeling better..
    Thanks for the update
    Bette
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  21. #141
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Michelle
    Checking in to see how you are?
    I hope you have a great Saturday..
    Bette

  22. #142
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle
    How's it going today? Better i hope. Drop me a line when u likee...

  23. #143
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    Hey everyone,
    It's absolute night and day the way I feel on 4mgs with the strips. I know their the same thing but ever since day one on the tabs I had trouble. Looking back, I remember feeling this blah and sick to my stomach and writing it off, because the doc said that sometimes there is some side affects but they will go away. He was upset that my insurance company switched me over, but that there wasn't anything we could do about it. What he didn't tell me was there was a way around it. All he had to do was put a letter in to tell them that this pill was making me sick, and needed to go back on films. I had to call my insurance company myself to find this out.
    I hope people reading this forum will be able to learn from my experience. You HAVE to be your own advocate. If there's anything that I've learned through the 5 yrs we spent battling my son's brain tumor, and 3 years after that battling my husband's head and neck cancer is that dr.'s arent always right. We look to them like their Gods and they are supposed to know all the answer's. They are only human, and most try to do what's best for their patients. On the other hand you have dr's that are handing out pain killers to people with hangnails. Or worse yet, there are some who are taking kick backs from certain meds.
    Did anyone see in the news where a woman sued her dr. for getting her hooked on pain killers and won? I'm all for that, because I had one of those dr.'s who kept giving me meds even though he new I was abusing them. I kept telling him that after awhile they weren't working so I had to take more. So what did he do? He kept upping the mg and putting me on more powerful opiates. By the time I was done, I had taken Opana which is called oxymorphone 10mg and for breakthrough pain lortabs, then moved on to fentenal pops 800mcg 4x's a day! Both of these meds are used on end of life cancer patients where abuse isn't an issue, but used for comfort care. Then I came into the office one day and I was so high that I was stumbling around, and he made a scene that I needed to go to rehab. But what everyone didn't know at that point, I wasn't abusing the meds. I was taking all them as directed. He just got scared that I was going to die in his office. I did go to rehab, but by then the damage was done and I was mentally addicted and wasn't ready to get off them. So I went through yrs. going from dr to dr. still getting opiate scripts, just not the good stuff that my "pain control dr." was getting me. My point is.. YOU have to do the research and understand the risk/benefits of the med.You know your body better than any dr. I'm not dr. bashing but there are those out there who just want to keep you coming back as a patient and what better way than you needing and wanting to get your fix. The first thing an addict must do is admitting we have a problem and take responsibility. I went through my experimental period where I tried every drug know to man and used recreational. Never having a problem abusing anything. I can honestly say I don't believe I would have become addicted to opiates if it wasn't for that dr. and all his crazy drugs he put me on. I was 30yrs old when I became an addict, not some 16-19 yr old who got hooked on street drugs.
    Anyway sorry for the rant, but I know there are people out there who put all their trust in drs. and have ended up like me. an addict. Sometimes their trust is misplaced.

    Michelle
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  24. #144
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Michelle!
    You sound great! Strong and ready for change. Determination will get us thru when we doubt that we can make it!
    Yes, the doctors don't know what to do and may simply want to alleviate their patients' pain and suffering. Years ago, one would have received a single 30-day prescription for such pills with the warning that taking them longer causes depression and addiction. Today, the medical community thinks differently. And yes, it is quite legal for doctors to receive compensation from pharmaceutical companies for promoting their products. Some of those checks can be quite large too!! All legal as hell.
    Michelle--this is our year! I'm with u all the way.
    Here we go, one last time...

  25. #145
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I a, so glad you are feeling good.
    Each day it will get better!
    I do hope you are not blaming the Drs for making you an addict..
    Simply because their is no power in blaming..
    I realize you only took them as prescribed but you still took them..
    You will have so much freedom in owning your own part whatever that might be?
    Because if others read this and continue to blame the Drs and not become their
    Own advocate like you did..
    Then they will never have a way out..
    Being a victim in anything truly does leave us powerless..
    It is only when we take responsibility for our behavior can
    We find freedom!
    I know you have done that ..
    And it is easy to Go back and forth..
    Especially after what you just went through but I fo feel it worth mentioning..
    Nowadays there are so many addicted to opiates..
    Just because they listened to the dr!
    But when we do become our own advocTe
    We can recover!
    You are right we know our bodies better than anyone..
    Rock on
    Michelle!
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-09-2016 at 08:40 PM.
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  26. #146
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle
    Just dropping in to say Hey! How's it going? I am relieved that you feel better. Less is More.
    How're the feet? Can you walk now? Once this is over, your life will be completely different insofar as the regimen of having to dose. It will be great! Maybe you and your hubs can get away for a short vaca as a reward when it's done!
    I'm hoping to leave here for the entire summer. Couldn't do that last year due to the methadone and my unwillingness to be a gypsy-doser for the trip north. LOL Don't have that prob now.
    What're your plans for today?

  27. #147
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    Good afternoon Ming!
    Sorry it's taken me so long to check in, but my husband and I are being couch potatoes today. Started watching "House of Cards" on Netflix's. Didn't think I would like it, because politics actually bore me, but honestly the way it's represented in this show is how I feel politics really are. Don't get me ranting about politics the way I was ranting about drs. yesterday. It just makes me sad that our society is battling such an epidemic against opiates. And, yes there are a scattered few of us who recognize our disease and want to take our lives back. But for those who think that it's ok, cuz it's "prescribed", it's just so wrong.
    I'm still a little lacking in the energy dept. but that's probably going to take some time and me putting some work into getting some exercise. My foot is healing pretty good. I've been walking around the house without my boot on more and more to try and strengthen it, but then again the pain is a little more intense without taking the pain killers, so I have to be careful. For the most part Ibuprophen 800 mg and x-tra strength tylenol is doing the trick.
    My husband and I worked around the house yesterday. (hence that's why we're taking the day off today) We finished many little projects that have been pushed aside because of what I've gone through and being so sick.
    I'm am so happy, and it almost seem like I'm dreaming. I can't believe I've tackled this hurdle. I found a bottle of morphine that I had left and we forgot to get rid of. My heart sunk a little, but it didn't take me more than a second to flush them down the toilet. I'm so proud of myself, and my husband is proud of me too.
    On my way to the life we deserve! It can be done, and if anyone who's reading this says "oh yeah sure she did it, but there is no way I can" That's hogwash. ANYONE can do this if they put their mind to it. ANYONE!! It's scary as all hell, but now that I'm on this side, I think I'm more scared of the other side. I know I have a ways to go to get off the subs, but I know I will do it. There is no question in my mind. I want it too bad. I want to be totally free, and nothing is going to stop me!
    Look out 2016 I'm coming for you :0)

    Ming: how are you doing? What day are you on? I'm going to have to catch up on your thread, but I know your doing great. You have the best attitude! I'll be needing you as a coach in a little while. Once I'm stable.

    Oh yeah before I go I just want you to know Bette, I did sound like I was putting all the blame on the docs for my addiction. I absolutely take responsibility for my actions. It wasn't all his fault but the introduction was there and that's the point I wanted to make to anyone reading my thread. Dr.s don't always have to be right. I know so many people who just go to a dr and whatever they say that's it. Not just in terms of addiction, but treatments for cancer and surgeries that aren't needed. We are told to always get a second opinion, but most rarely do. Anyway, Bette,I know your a nurse and believe me I'm not trying to belittle or put down dr.s in general (although in my experience nurses, seem to know more than most docs) I just want everyone to be their own advocate. Like you said. There are still many good docs out there.

    Blessings to all
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  28. #148
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle..
    Don't you worry..
    About belittling Drs I know better than most
    That they don't know everything!
    It is truly the nurse that keeps the patients alive..
    We are at the bedside 24/7 them for 10 mins on a good day..
    You never seize to amaze me ..
    When I write something to you that may be offensive to someone..
    You take what you can from. It and leave the rest..
    I never want to offend you..
    But I have been struggling with this disease since I wS a herrrroooiinn addict at 13..
    Had many years clean off and on.

    But my fear for recovering addicts is real..
    Because this is life or death to me..
    We just lost a 27 year old mom in my group..
    Clean 6 months ..
    Used and died in her sleep..
    Leaving 2 tottlers behind..
    Very scarey..
    I want you to feel ok and get to the other side..
    You have earned it!
    And you deserve freedom !
    It is worth the fight!
    Thank you for being you!
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-10-2016 at 05:19 PM.
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  29. #149
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle
    How's it going today?

  30. #150
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    Ming,
    Sorry I didn't check in with you yesterday. Me and the hubby were on the go all day. We are refinancing our home and had a few things that we are trying to take care of before the appraiser comes today.
    I'm still on track and getting more energy every day. I still need to start incorporating more exercise into my day, and hoping to get cleared from my foot doc on Thursday. I know I have to be careful, and will still need my walking boot, and scooter for shopping and things where I know I'll be doing a lot of walking.
    Anyway, life is good. Hope all is well with you and everyone else today
    Michelle
    xxoo
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