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Coming off opiates for good!
  1. #181
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Im 10months clean of a 7 year binge on hydro. I can tell you the first 30 days were very very hard. The next 30 days were better. Once i hit 3 months.... i was out the woods. No cravings and eating and sleeping normally . Im my old self again. Im naturally happy. Little meaningless things in life actually make me smile now. Most importantly... im progressing in life. I was in limbo standstill when i was on that stuff.i did it cold turkey. Lololol... worst even I ever went through. :/
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  2. #182
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    Crazyfrog,
    Good for you. You are among some of the rarest people that actually get through the withdrawls and do it all cold turkey. My hat is off to you!!! It takes a strong person to go through the physical and mental battle that this disease causes. It's awesome to hear your story and it inspires people who are considering just trying to make it on their own and not have to rely on another medication. After all, the final goal is to be drug free so, if you can help someone skip that step in the process by explaining your situation it's worth it.
    I haven't seen you around. Are you new to the forum? Would love to hear more details about your story.
    I'm so very happy for you and wish you continued success!!
    Michelle
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  3. #183
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    Today has been a really good day so far. I'm taking my health seriously and have a plan to quit smoking. I'm feeling really positive about my goals that I intend to achieve. I've been exercising everyday and eating very clean. I have to do a three day all liquid diet to complete for my bariatric surgery doc. They wan't me to email them the diet all laid out (cal. intake, protein intake, etc.) and at first I was just going to write it out and send it without really doing it. Then I thought "are u serious or not about making this work?" I happy to report I am and will be doing the liquid diet for all 3 days. This is just preparation for before the surgery. I will have to complete 10 days of this liquid diet before the day of the surgery and 1-6 wks of clear liquids, then a blender-ized diet before I can begin eating real food. It's a huge lifestyle change and I'm will succeed!!
    As far as my meds go, I'm pretty stable on the zubsolv they have me on and will continue on that amount till after the surgery. Then I can start focusing on my taper. That's the plan and I'm so excited to move forward.
    To those of you who had a bad day yesterday (seemed to be a rough day for many members of this forum), I'm wishing you a better day today and even better tomorrow.
    Blessings
    Michelle
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-27-2016 at 01:39 PM.
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  4. #184
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Great news Michelle. No cheating...lol. That would have been me. Devising some fictional diary for my doctor. Tell em what they want to hear. So, good for you. This is a sign of things to come. Taking your life and health seriously without cutting corners. It IS a major life style change on so many fronts for you and you are taking that first step. YAY!!

    Is it a full moon or something? Everyone around my household seems to have a bug up their azz. I'm fine. )

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #185
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazyfrog View Post
    Im 10months clean of a 7 year binge on hydro. I can tell you the first 30 days were very very hard. The next 30 days were better. Once i hit 3 months.... i was out the woods. No cravings and eating and sleeping normally . Im my old self again. Im naturally happy. Little meaningless things in life actually make me smile now. Most importantly... im progressing in life. I was in limbo standstill when i was on that stuff.i did it cold turkey. Lololol... worst even I ever went through. :/
    This gave me hope today. Thank you

  6. #186
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle!
    Wow. Surgery. You are one brave woman! I didn't know. I quit smoking while tapering using the patch. I broke down a couple of times but am back on the patch.
    Good for you doing the grunt work before the surgery. We are changing...

  7. #187
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle!
    Just dropping in to say Hey!
    Proud of you!

  8. #188
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    Good morning all, Whew!!... all done my 3 day liquid diet. Homework for my bariatric surgery which is finally coming into view. Insurance company called yesterday and approved it. So I'm just waiting for a date from the dr. I have to take 1 more class (behavioral classes required for surgery) and I wasn't scheduled for it until 2nd week in March, but was able to get into the class for February which was previously full. Signed our closing for re-financing on our house yesterday. This will get all our debts paid (2 vehicles and previous loan). This will allow us to actually save money, instead of scrounging for it. Also finally got all our paperwork to file our taxes. That will get us a good chunk of change.
    This all happened yesterday. The universe is speaking to me.... It's finally giving me a reason to get my s@#t together. With my bariatric surgery done, I can then get the much needed back surgery done. I can see myself next summer.... No cigs, healthy weight, free of back pain, off ALL medications. My dreams are coming into view.
    Miracles do happen my friends. Most of the time when you least expect it. Last summer when I fell off that ladder, I couldn't see a way out of the darkness that had devoured me. Now the light is getting bright!!!
    Don't get me wrong, I've got a lot of work ahead of me. 2 surgeries in probably 2-3 months.... got to be super careful with pain meds. (like trying to do without them for both surgeries) 10 days of the dreaded liquid diet, then adjusting to a different way of eating after bariatric surgery. Just thinking about all that can go wrong scares the ba-jesus out of me, but I'm determined to take the bull by the horns.
    Hope all is well with everyone, and as always blessings,
    Michelle
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  9. #189
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    I neglected to mention, that I could not be in the place in my life, this wonderful state of mind, without the many members of this forum. You gave me the knowledge, and support that help guide me to this new way of living. There is no doubt in my mind, that had I not stumbled onto this forum, and had the guts to start posting my deepest darkest fears.... well I don't want to think where I'd be. For those of you who are lurking around and reading post from everyone, take a chance and reach out. You too can get to a place in your life that could not even be imagined before. No matter how low you are, no matter what you have done in your past, or however long you've been on what-ever drug, there is a way out. I promise you!!! The members on this forum have no agenda, will get no kick-backs from drug company's, and will hold no judgement. All they want is to help.. Plane and simple.
    Randy, Bette, Cat, Ming, and too many others to name... thank you from the bottom of my heart!
    Michelle
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  10. #190
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Proud of you Michelle!

  11. #191
    Anonymous Guest

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    Proud of you to Ming!!
    Your getting it done girl.
    Much love
    Michelle

  12. #192
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Michelle,

    I'm very excited for you. Even with all the scary stuff on the horizon, you are getting a do-over. How many of us can say that? I know I'm like a broken record but I'm just telling you that it wasn't until I got excited about putting all of this behind me and taking advantage of my do-over that it stuck. I worked too hard to get here and am not willing to throw it away. Everyone deserves to have a do-over. Right?

    Peace,

    Cat

  13. #193
    Anonymous Guest

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    Cat
    Hey there girl, I was just looking for you, wanted to check in on you, and see how your feeling. Getting a little nervous for the surgery or excited to get it over with?? I'll stop by your thread.....continued
    Michelle

  14. #194
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Michelle,

    NOOOO I'm not getting nervous about the surgery. I'm excited and wish it was tomorrow. Thank you for asking. In my down time, I'll be typing a thesis here I'm sure. Ha! People will stop reading my posts. Blah, blah, blah!!

    Peace,

    Cat

  15. #195
    Anonymous Guest

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    Cat,
    NEVER could stop listening to you. You could write a book with your adventures. Best seller!!!
    Michelle
    xxxooo

  16. #196
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle
    So happy for you! Taking back your life!
    You're an inspiration to all!
    Rebuilding44 likes this.

  17. #197
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Hello!
    I think it's about time I introduced myself.
    Kim here aka buttefly from 1st time trying.
    As the fog lifts on my day 7, I am able to focus a little better and get around in the forum.
    I've been smiling from your posts and we sound a lot a like... even our husband's lol.
    He also hid my bottle and lol well I was a good searcher lol
    That's when I realized I wouldn't taper successfully.
    Been keeping you in my prayers and so very happy to be back.
    No matter how much life gets in the way, I will try not to make the smart mistake again and leave when I'm better lol.
    If this site makes people better than stay with the site. Simple enough .... maybe the 3rd time lol
    Enjoy your day!
    Ming23 likes this.

  18. #198
    Anonymous Guest

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    Good morning all, going to the dentist yuck! Need some warm and fuzzies to get me through!!!
    Michelle

  19. #199
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle!
    Giterdun! Got to save those teeth! Good for you!
    So very proud of you!
    For everything...

  20. #200
    niecer is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Today has been a really good day so far. I'm taking my health seriously and have a plan to quit smoking. I'm feeling really positive about my goals that I intend to achieve. I've been exercising everyday and eating very clean. I have to do a three day all liquid diet to complete for my bariatric surgery doc. They wan't me to email them the diet all laid out (cal. intake, protein intake, etc.) and at first I was just going to write it out and send it without really doing it. Then I thought "are u serious or not about making this work?" I happy to report I am and will be doing the liquid diet for all 3 days. This is just preparation for before the surgery. I will have to complete 10 days of this liquid diet before the day of the surgery and 1-6 wks of clear liquids, then a blender-ized diet before I can begin eating real food. It's a huge lifestyle change and I'm will succeed!!
    As far as my meds go, I'm pretty stable on the zubsolv they have me on and will continue on that amount till after the surgery. Then I can start focusing on my taper. That's the plan and I'm so excited to move forward.
    To those of you who had a bad day yesterday (seemed to be a rough day for many members of this forum), I'm wishing you a better day today and even better tomorrow.
    Blessings
    Michelle
    I'm really sorry you have to go through surgery but when it's done you can concentrate on your taper. Good plan.
    I've been clean for five months now and couldn't even think about quitting smoking who're going through w/d but I did quit smoking on January first so I'm now 33 days clean from smoking. Not an easy feat and I don't know if it will stick but I hope so. I think it's easier to kick one bad vice at time.
    I definitely had a bad day yesterday. My dog Chico died and I'm heartbroken over it. He was my best friend and such a comfort to me during my getting clean days. I will miss him so much. Cried all day and night but I'm better today.His food dish and toys are still on the floor and I'm leaving there. I even slept with his blanket last night. I know that's kind of sappy and it probably made me cry more but oh well
    Take care.

  21. #201
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    Many fillings needed. Would you believe $599 worth? Unreal, the price of trying to keep your self together. Since I broke my heel and had surgery, I gone through all the test for my bariatric surgery... Mammogram, Annual OBGYN, Colonoscopy, Endoscopy, and many vials of blood. I'm struggling to keep up with the co-pays and deductibles, and I have great insurance. I have my subs doc I have to see once a month, that comes with $20 co-pay and $40 for my urine screening. Then, for the last 6 mo's I've had to go to my bariatric doc once a month, that's another co-pay, plus I have to go on a ferry to get to the docs which is about 50 miles away (gas + $14 each way on the ferry)
    I can't imagine not having insurance. I shouldn't be complaining, but with me out of work it's been a struggle. But it's got to be done, I need this weight off to get my back surgery scheduled. Once all this is done it will be a brand new me. From top to bottom. This is my second chance to do my body right. Little discouraged today, don't mind my rant and negativity. Just had to get it out of my system. It's been a long hard journey and some days are harder than others. But I am blessed with a wonderful husband and he has been by my side through thick and thin. I am lucky, and don't ever take that for granted, (ok, maybe when he forget's to take out the garbage, but that's it) lol.
    If it wasn't such a hard journey, I probably wouldn't appreciate the end result. So, I will look back on the harder times and that will make me stronger in the long run.
    Blessings to all, remember these times when we struggle, so we don't end up back here my friends. Do it right this time!
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  22. #202
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    I feel for ya girl,
    Have had many dentist appointments like yours. I like your attitude about it, It will help make spending the money and time a little easier. Think how good your mouth will feel. So many good things come from taking care of ourselves.
    On days like today where the sunshine seems to hide all day, self care is extra important.
    I am very glad that your husband is so supportive. Took mine some time to come around but I am glad we stuck through it and didn't give up on each other.
    Feeling blah is inevitable. Just have to feel it, stay focused and let it go.
    Love and light to you Michelle on this not so sunny but still blessed day
    Kim

  23. #203
    Anonymous Guest

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    Please don't let the wisdom you seek or the changes you wish to manifest be driven by the feelings that your somehow flawed, weak or lacking. Because the ability to imagine change in spite of the illusions that surround you and move toward it without even knowing "how" your kingdom will come, is the hallmark of perfection, strength and divinity.
    As if crazy, sexy, cool wasn't enough??!!
    This was the message from my "Notes from the Universe". I had to share, it was too profound and could apply to all addicts moving to recovery. Hope everyone has a wonderful day.
    Blessings
    Michelle
    xxoo
    ItsPossible likes this.

  24. #204
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hang in there Michelle! It's wonderful to have your own teeth! $599 isn't unreasonable. Imagine the alternative! Eek
    So proud of you! You're inspiring many...

  25. #205
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Please don't let the wisdom you seek or the changes you wish to manifest be driven by the feelings that your somehow flawed, weak or lacking. Because the ability to imagine change in spite of the illusions that surround you and move toward it without even knowing "how" your kingdom will come, is the hallmark of perfection, strength and divinity.
    As if crazy, sexy, cool wasn't enough??!!
    This was the message from my "Notes from the Universe". I had to share, it was too profound and could apply to all addicts moving to recovery. Hope everyone has a wonderful day.
    Blessings
    Michelle
    xxoo
    I watched this documentary last night : Opiate addiction explained. Subscriber: Healing Path Recovery.
    There was a quote at the end and it that just stuck to me so I thought I would share it

    "Addiction is a disease, and what happens in the process of addiction, the brain, becomes the addicts worst enemy."

    After watching the video, addiction didn't seem like a life sentence, just a part of my life that I can never re-live again or I will have to start ALL OVER! It gets worse each time we go back. It comforts me to know that my receptors will stay in a rested state, as long as I don't feed them opiates.
    Feeling GREAT has never felt better being free from opiates!
    Namaste xxoo

  26. #206
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle!
    How was the dental appt? You are doing this! So proud of you!

  27. #207
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Stopping in to show you some love!
    Have a fabulous day Michelle xxoo

  28. #208
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    Good morning all... Very sad day in my house. Our beloved Starr had a terrible seizure last night. She was given to my son when he was about a year into his treatments. After he passed away, she was my rock. I was able to feel just a little closer to my Ryan, by looking into her sweet eyes. I don't know how to explain it, but she just has a way a making you feel at peace when your in her presence. Even as a puppy she never acted like one. She would never jump on you or lick your face or chew on things. All the things puppies do. She has always looked wiser than her years as she would sit and watch, taking everything in. Like a guardian. Wherever my son was, she wasn't far away. He had many seizures and if it happened that we weren't in the room at the time, she would come running to find us and whine and pace back and forth till we would follow her to him. I knew from the moment he met her, she was special. He was at a particularly long stay at the hospital, and the breeder who was giving her to him brought her to there so they could meet. Instantly, she knew what to do. We were pushing him outside in a wheel chair because he was weak from his treatments, and had placed a pillow on the bottom of the chair so he would have some padding to rest his feet on. Without encouraging her, she crawled on the foot pedals and just laid down at his feet while we enjoyed the beautiful summer day. When he was released from the hospital, we took her home and from that moment on she has been like a member of the family. As I'm sure many of you feel the same about your pets. To watch her last night go through the same type of seizures my son used to endure broke my heart. She's having a very hard time walking and at times seems confused. We have made the decision to put her down this week.
    What does all this have to do with my addiction?? You can probably guess when my addiction started in the first place. For a parent to loose a child is their worst nightmare come true. It may seem silly to some, but watching his faithful, loving almost human dog, go through the same symptoms he faced before he passed is almost unbearable.
    My first thought... what do I have to take to numb this ache in my heart. Even this afternoon, I'm shaking and sweating from what I witnessed last night. But thank God I have nothing in this house to take!! I will have to face this head on with a clear head and a heavy heart.
    Thanks, to many people here on this forum, I have learned that I have to take the good with the bad. That you have to FEEL life, not be numb to it. How can you feel how good the "good" can be, without feeling the bad??
    There will always be curve balls thrown at you, and if your not prepared for them, you will end up striking out.
    My reason for posting this short novel, was 1st and foremost for myself. So I could put into words what I can not say out loud. My 2nd..is to anyone struggling..No matter what your dealing with. You can get through it. Just one day at a time. As for me and my sweet Starr girl.. I will honor her life, by sending her off with dignity and respect, and know that she is with our beautiful boy up in heaven, watching over him, till were all together again.
    Blessings to all
    Michelle
    xxoo

  29. #209
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Good morning all... Very sad day in my house. Our beloved Starr had a terrible seizure last night. She was given to my son when he was about a year into his treatments. After he passed away, she was my rock. I was able to feel just a little closer to my Ryan, by looking into her sweet eyes. I don't know how to explain it, but she just has a way a making you feel at peace when your in her presence. Even as a puppy she never acted like one. She would never jump on you or lick your face or chew on things. All the things puppies do. She has always looked wiser than her years as she would sit and watch, taking everything in. Like a guardian. Wherever my son was, she wasn't far away. He had many seizures and if it happened that we weren't in the room at the time, she would come running to find us and whine and pace back and forth till we would follow her to him. I knew from the moment he met her, she was special. He was at a particularly long stay at the hospital, and the breeder who was giving her to him brought her to there so they could meet. Instantly, she knew what to do. We were pushing him outside in a wheel chair because he was weak from his treatments, and had placed a pillow on the bottom of the chair so he would have some padding to rest his feet on. Without encouraging her, she crawled on the foot pedals and just laid down at his feet while we enjoyed the beautiful summer day. When he was released from the hospital, we took her home and from that moment on she has been like a member of the family. As I'm sure many of you feel the same about your pets. To watch her last night go through the same type of seizures my son used to endure broke my heart. She's having a very hard time walking and at times seems confused. We have made the decision to put her down this week.
    What does all this have to do with my addiction?? You can probably guess when my addiction started in the first place. For a parent to loose a child is their worst nightmare come true. It may seem silly to some, but watching his faithful, loving almost human dog, go through the same symptoms he faced before he passed is almost unbearable.
    My first thought... what do I have to take to numb this ache in my heart. Even this afternoon, I'm shaking and sweating from what I witnessed last night. But thank God I have nothing in this house to take!! I will have to face this head on with a clear head and a heavy heart.
    Thanks, to many people here on this forum, I have learned that I have to take the good with the bad. That you have to FEEL life, not be numb to it. How can you feel how good the "good" can be, without feeling the bad??
    There will always be curve balls thrown at you, and if your not prepared for them, you will end up striking out.
    My reason for posting this short novel, was 1st and foremost for myself. So I could put into words what I can not say out loud. My 2nd..is to anyone struggling..No matter what your dealing with. You can get through it. Just one day at a time. As for me and my sweet Starr girl.. I will honor her life, by sending her off with dignity and respect, and know that she is with our beautiful boy up in heaven, watching over him, till were all together again.
    Blessings to all
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Hi Michelle, very sad news and I'm so sorry. Stay strong! Take care... God bless us all!

  30. #210
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Michelle,

    I'm so sorry to be reading about your poor, poor dog. I read your post to Bette and it broke my heart. I can share with you my experience with this. We had to put our Toots down when she was 16. Her quality of life had declined so badly and in my heart I knew we were avoiding bringing her peace because of my own selfishness. To make matters worse, I chickened out at the last minute and decided I couldn't go with her to the vet's. After she left I found that that was a horrible mistake and that no matter how hard, I had to be with her. I didn't get there in time. This was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. I know it's hard, but you have to try and be brave for her like she has been for you. You may regret not being there.

    Peace,

    Cat
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