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Coming off opiates for good!
  1. #211
    Anonymous Guest

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    Thanks Ricky... I appreciate your stopping in and relaying your thoughts. It means a lot.
    And Cat.. Thanks for sharing your experience. I know I have to be with her. It's the right thing to do. We have made arrangements with the vet to come to our home and have it done here. This is the place she will feel more comfortable and your right about the selfishness of wanting to keep her around. At times I see the her at her best, like nothing is changing, but I think that's what I want to see. She paces around the house looking for something most of the time. Her ears are up and she's alert, but she walks from room to room looking around like there is something she needs to find. This is very strange behavior for her because she's always been a dog who is very content and relaxed. Now she's tense and unsure of things.
    Anyway, I really already knew that I need to be with her when she goes, I just needed to hear it. So thanks again Cat. As always your advice is right on.
    Blessings, hope your still doing ok.. Countdown to surgery! Very excited for you!!!
    Michelle
    xxoo

  2. #212
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    Okay, so, things are starting to change so fast around me, it's making my head spin. I have to lay to rest sweet German Shepard that has been with us for 15 yrs. I knew this day was coming, but now that it's here, well it will be extremely difficult. Next, I just got an appt. date for my Bariatric Sleeve Surgery. March 17th...Wow, again new that was coming, and now that it's here..whew. And last and definitely least. Dental work up the wazzoo in the next 2-3 months. Many fillings, and periodontal work in the future. I went to my first of many fillings and had a panic attack right in the middle of it. I felt like I couldn't breath, and before you knew it, whammy. Embarrased!!
    Anyway, I didn't plan for this to happen all at once, but beware any addict reading this.. Sometimes life can get out of hand. You need to prepare for good, bad and just plain crazy sometimes. I know all these things might not seem like anything out of the ordinary to some people, but I really have to concentrate on my recovery right now. I need a clear head and be able to focus, because I'm having A LOT of cravings. I don't feel comfortable in my skin. I will get through, but it's tough. I let things creep up and all of sudden it's all creeped at the same time.
    Just a friendly reminder. Don't take on more than you can chew!!
    Blessings to all,
    Michelle
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  3. #213
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Good afternoon Michelle,
    Just stopping in to show some love.
    Although you must go through this on your own, it doesn't have to mean you're alone.
    One second, one minute, one hour at a time. You've been through so much and you will get through this too.
    WE are all praying for your healing
    Love and Light xxoo

  4. #214
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Stopping in to say hi before I spend the day with my sister.
    Easy does it girl.
    You've been in my prayers and meditations.
    Sending you healing love and light
    Kim xxoo

  5. #215
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Okay, so, things are starting to change so fast around me, it's making my head spin. I have to lay to rest sweet German Shepard that has been with us for 15 yrs. I knew this day was coming, but now that it's here, well it will be extremely difficult. Next, I just got an appt. date for my Bariatric Sleeve Surgery. March 17th...Wow, again new that was coming, and now that it's here..whew. And last and definitely least. Dental work up the wazzoo in the next 2-3 months. Many fillings, and periodontal work in the future. I went to my first of many fillings and had a panic attack right in the middle of it. I felt like I couldn't breath, and before you knew it, whammy. Embarrased!!
    Anyway, I didn't plan for this to happen all at once, but beware any addict reading this.. Sometimes life can get out of hand. You need to prepare for good, bad and just plain crazy sometimes. I know all these things might not seem like anything out of the ordinary to some people, but I really have to concentrate on my recovery right now. I need a clear head and be able to focus, because I'm having A LOT of cravings. I don't feel comfortable in my skin. I will get through, but it's tough. I let things creep up and all of sudden it's all creeped at the same time.
    Just a friendly reminder. Don't take on more than you can chew!!
    Blessings to all,
    Michelle


    Hi Michelle,

    So, so sorry to hear about the issues with your German Shepard. And believe it or not I know exactly how you feel from my own experience. Last year I had to have my own German Shepard, Ollie put down because of poor health. I had him for so many years and he was my very best friend in the world. I would talk to him telling him of my troubles and ask him questions I never had the courage to ask anyone else. I knew he understood and never everr judged me for anything. He was hurting so bad and I had to end his suffering. I was so heartbroken, but knew it was for the best. Took me a looong time to get over it (still haven't really) and I think of him every single day. I have a new doggie now, Miggy, and we're fast becoming friends. He will never replace Ollie, but he's now family and for that I'm so thankful.

    Sorry to hear about the dental issue also. Hope that goes well. And hoping the upcoming surgery goes perfectly for you. You really do have a lot on your plate. And you seem to have a firm grip on your recovery. And that's what it takes to be successful. Don't think for a minute the BEAST has gone into hiding. He's always waiting, lurking, and planning on striking just when you let your guard down. Took me a looong time to figure that out.

    Take care of yourself. Let us know how you're doing when you get a minute.

    Randy

  6. #216
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    Hey there Randy!!
    So good to hear from you. I needed a little extra motivation today. Been really blue about my dog. The vet's are coming our house, so she feels totally comfortable on Tuesday. Seems terrible to actually plan something like that, but I don't want to be selfish anymore. I can't stand to watch her suffer either.
    I'm very excited about my baratric sleeve surgery coming up, but I still have to quit smoking and I'm not quite there yet, and the dentist stuff well that just sucks no matter which way you look at it.
    The surgery I have planned to come home on NO opiate meds, so hopefully my advil and tylenol will be enough.
    Hope all is well with you. That brother of your's, is he getting better? Hopefully stronger by the day.
    I'm sure you and your family are enjoying your new life together now! Thanks again for stopping in to say hi.
    Oh I do have one question for you... I'm on Zubslov now, and I was just wondering about weening before the surgery. Should I ween like 1wk prior or be off 1wk prior? I'm really nervous, cuz I just stabled out on this new med. I take 1.4 mg 3x's day (equals out to be around 4mg) Wish Redfish was still around.
    Anyway Blessings to you and your family, Randy
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-13-2016 at 02:21 PM.

  7. #217
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Oh Michelle
    I am so sorry about your dog..
    You know I just put my BooBoo to rest 1/25/16 after 16 years
    I still wait for him to walk in the room..
    It is heart breaking..
    I feel for you
    As I say this tears are rolling down my cheeks
    For you and me both..
    Saying they are in a better place
    Means nothing at this time..
    It still flipping hurts!

    I am happy you are doing well..
    I am taking a break from here..
    But celebrated my year and all is well!
    You too will be ok!
    You are a warrior!
    Bette

  8. #218
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I just read your post to me..
    I dont khow I did it with BooBoo..
    I watched utube video on how to live after the loss of a pet..
    Letting them go is the most responsible act we can do as their owners..
    It is the last act of love we can provide..
    Knowing that BooBoo died in my arms surrouyby love and in a warm blanket really helped me..
    So many dogs animals die alone in pain..
    Knowing we can or did make their last moments as comfortable as possible is really comforting..
    It does not take the heart wrenching pain awY
    But
    It does make it more tolerable..

    I had to decide that I if I did not do this
    I was keeping him alive for me..
    That helped me not to be so selfish..
    I know this is late but I know this pain takes time to lesson..
    It seems that a few of us on here have lost a member of our 4 legged family while in recovery..
    I am grateful to be clean to truly experience this because
    It is sad!
    Take care
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-14-2016 at 12:18 PM.

  9. #219
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    Thanks Bette,
    The big day is tomorrow and just knowing I'm losing my very best friend, will be so heartbreaking. She was my rock, and a big connection with my son. But like you said it's just selfish and inhuman to let her go on. At first I didn't think I could be there, even now I know it will be extremely difficult to watch her take her last breath, but I must be there after all she did for me. It's only right. Hope you are doing well and thanks again for getting back to me. Your words always help soothe me.
    Blessings,
    Michelle
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  10. #220
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Hey there Randy!!
    Oh I do have one question for you... I'm on Zubslov now, and I was just wondering about weening before the surgery. Should I ween like 1wk prior or be off 1wk prior? I'm really nervous, cuz I just stabled out on this new med. I take 1.4 mg 3x's day (equals out to be around 4mg) Wish Redfish was still around.
    Anyway Blessings to you and your family, Randy
    Michelle
    xxoo

    Hi Michelle,

    I'll certainly be thinking about you tomorrow. I know how tough it will be, but it will be for the best. Yes it hurts, hurts bad, but the suffering will be done. Hugs to you.

    As for preparing for the surgery, you should begin tapering the Zubsolv and completely stop taking it around 3 - 4 days prior to the surgery. Some switch to a short acting opiate that you will be prescribed after the surgery, if needed, after stopping the sub. If you could stop taking the Zubsolv sooner it would be even better.

    Once the surgery is over, and if you're taking narcotics for any pain, you'll have a decision to make. You could either stop the opiates CT, or go back on the sub. That has to be your decision. If you feel mentally ready I would attempt to do it without the sub. But don't feel defeated if going back to the sub is your choice. Only you know the best route to take. We'll discuss that later.

    Randy

  11. #221
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    Randy,
    Will touch base when the time gets closer, but it sounds like I have some options. I'm hoping to not come home with any opiates, and just be done with it all, but I know I could change my mind when the time comes. Anyway thanks for getting back to me and thanks for your hugs. No getting around the pain.
    Blessings
    Michelle

  12. #222
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    Last night we laid to rest our sweet German Shepard Starr. She was almost human like at times. Just looking into her big brown eyes, it was like she held all the secrets of the world there. She gave us nothing but joy, love, and peace.
    She was actually my son's dog. It may sound crazy, but when my son past away we were at Vermont children's Hospital, and my father in law was watching her for us. He said he knew the minute my son died, because she let out a howl, like you hear a wolf howl in the woods. A long slow wailing noise that brought chills down his spine.
    We were in a different state and she still felt his little heart stop beating. I'm glad we were here to hold her when she took her last breath and her heart beat for the last time. It was so peaceful, and now she is reunited with our little man once again.
    God hold them all close and let there be no more pain, only sweet joy and peace. The peace and love she brought to us all. RIP baby girl.
    Michelle
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  13. #223
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Sending you love and light and a big, warm hug.
    I don't know what to say except I am sorry and I think you're very brave and that you will continue to be in my prayers.
    Love and light sent to you tonight xxoo
    Kim aka Butterfly

  14. #224
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Dear Michelle
    So sorry dear. What a good doggie you had! I also lost my dog during the taper. Sucks.
    How's it going? You are in my thoughts and prayers! Proud proud proud of you!!

  15. #225
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Michelle
    Just checking in on you! Hope you're ok!

  16. #226
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Good morning Michelle!
    How's it going? Thinking of u...

  17. #227
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.
    Helen Keller

    MISS YOU AROUND HERE

  18. #228
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Hey Michelle,
    I totally understand why you haven't been in touch. As long as you keep checking in when you can, don't be so hard on yourself... I know how that feels and it doesn't help us get better at living happily.
    I am also the kind of person that needs to be forced to make change sometimes like you with the quitting smoking for surgery thing. I also smoke and everyday I swear I am done with it, but the next morning that nicotine craving gets the best of me and I give in.
    My kids and husband tell me how much they would like me to quit and I really want to but it makes me feel awful that I am letting others down... so I smoke my stress away.
    I am going to the gym almost every day now so that is helping me get my mind and body healthier to quit another unhealthy habit. One step, one day at a time right?
    The first time I was able to quit successfully was from reading the book, "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking". It really explained a lot to me and was easy to quit.
    I'm going to go get it and dust it off now and begin reading it this week.
    Thanks for reminding me of how important it is. Just sharing what you're going through helps others that might be going through similar things too... like the dentist.
    Tomorrow I am paying my balance and booking an appointment to have a cleaning. I also get extremely anxious at the dentist but I let them know, I bring headphones and I practice my deep breathing and meditation. Baby steps!
    How wonderful does it feel to conquer a fear? AMAZING! Love is on the other side of fear so claim that love that is meant for you and I will do the same thing too!
    Love and light Michelle, to you always!
    A puppy.... hmmmm well I just got another cat and it has proven to make me feel whole again. I know you won't get one to replace anything, but rather to add some love and energy into your life and keep you active and busy
    Think about it and the universe will deliver!
    Believe in yourself I believe in yoU!

  19. #229
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Michelle
    Hope you're ok. Send me a line when u can...

  20. #230
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    Well, today I'm on day 5 of no cigs... what???!! I've never gone this long before. I hope I can conquer this. It's crazy, but with everything I'm doing and everyday I'm trying to live a better life, I keep getting stronger. I can kind of remember my life before addiction got a hold on me. I feel like that girl is a totally different person. Like an out of body experience. But I remember how happy I was, carefree, and living the dream.
    I am crawling back there, baby steps, and one at a time.
    There is no place you can't come back from. NO PLACE! For those still in the dark hole looking out at the light, just believe in yourself a little, just a little every day and you too can crawl to the top of that hole. Once you peak out over the top and see the world all around, it will make you want more and more.
    It's never too late!!!
    Blessings to all
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  21. #231
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Awesome post Michelle,
    There is a light at the end of every tunnel if we just keeping going and don't give up before the light breaks through.
    I love how you are remembering how you used to feel. Isn't it wonderful to feel that joy in the present form a past experience? Instead of regret, guilt and shame? It is beautiful and a sign that you are on the right path... the path to your best self, the self you were meant to be.
    Happy for you hun!
    Couldn't sleep and was happy to pop by and show my love!
    Happy March!
    Love and light xxoo

  22. #232
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    Always love hearing from you Kim. You've been such a great example to everyone, how you can never give up. Perseverance, you fall down, you pick yourself up. No matter how many times it takes. I'm going to keep at this thing no matter what it takes. But since meeting you, I haven't been as hard on myself, and have learned to love myself just a little more than I used to. Finding the love and joy and being able to hang on to it, makes life all the more sweeter.
    Hopefully tomorrow I will hear from my doc about my surgery date on St. Patrick's day. Yeah, my surgery is scheduled for March 17th... that's got to be a lucky sign???
    Blessings to all for a beautiful March 1st!!
    Michelle
    xxoo
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  23. #233
    Anonymous Guest

    Default Hair loss... help!

    I'm going through some massive hair loss lately. My dietician said I just needed a multi vitamin, but I've been taking that and an extra vitamin for hair, skin and nails, for over 2 months. Nothing seems to be helping. It's not breaking off, but coming off in long lumps. My hair is probably 12-15 inches long, and I don't have any bald spots yet, but can't help but worry about it.
    I'm also approaching bariatric surgery, and have heard that that is one of the things that can happen to you. Double wammy! Anyone have any solutions that really work??

  24. #234
    ItsPossible is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockandhardplace View Post
    Always love hearing from you Kim. You've been such a great example to everyone, how you can never give up. Perseverance, you fall down, you pick yourself up. No matter how many times it takes. I'm going to keep at this thing no matter what it takes. But since meeting you, I haven't been as hard on myself, and have learned to love myself just a little more than I used to. Finding the love and joy and being able to hang on to it, makes life all the more sweeter.
    Hopefully tomorrow I will hear from my doc about my surgery date on St. Patrick's day. Yeah, my surgery is scheduled for March 17th... that's got to be a lucky sign???
    Blessings to all for a beautiful March 1st!!
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Being part Irish I would say that YES that is a lucky sign!
    Anytime I get worried about an appointment, I write down my conversation on paper about how it will go and then let it leave my thoughts. Anytime it comes back up I remind myself that I already hashed it out. Writing things down has been proven to be more successful.
    So write down the outcome of your appointment.
    "I have quit smoking, I have prepared for surgery, and I will have a successful surgery on St. Patty's day!" Also anything else you would like to get off your mind.
    I am glad I can bring some love into your heart. I have had others do that on my journey and I am just paying it forward. I don't make this stuff up, I was given the advice and direction in life and pass it on.
    I have no idea why you are losing your hair but if you think he has something to do with the surgery prep then that is probably it. Stress also doesn't help and you've been going through such stressful situations and handling like a champ. Are you trusting your intuition or second guessing yourself all the time?
    Usually when something is going on with me I look up the metaphysical reason for the issue... along with the medical reason. It is usually correct in my cases. Any pain, injury, issue I can always find a spiritual connection.
    May want to have a look into it Also when looking into the mirror today, tell yourself how beautiful you are! Even if you don't feel it... say it over and over because our thoughts play the most important part in what we attract. Put out what you want back. Think healthy. I know you can do it!
    I believe you are going to do great and you have to believe in it too!

    I know I may sound absurd to some but when my sister almost died 4 years ago today, the doctors said to say goodbye. I refused to give up and plastered her ICU with positive sayings, pictures and music. I meditated, I learned Reiki and I prayed a lot. I wouldn't allow any negative energy into the room.
    She woke up form her coma 16 days later, 1 day after her Reiki treatment.
    My sister doesn't believe that her thoughts create her circumstances but without her "there" I was able to create a truly healing environment.
    I don't believe I was only responsible for her well being, but I took my mission seriously and everything ended up working out to the doctors astonishment.
    She still struggles with her health since that awful day but she is alive and I hope one day she joins me in living a life of abundance but I know that this is my therapy, and she has her way of dealign with it.... it's neither wrong or right... it is just ours.
    Well, not sure where that all came from, but there you go! lol
    Day 7... 1 week. Ecig or not, you're amazing. Love yourself today!
    Love and light
    Butterfly xxoo

  25. #235
    Godflesh34 is offline New Member
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    Hey i need help ive been addicted to pain killers for 2 yrs, nobody in my family knows my problem not even my wife. I cant do this anymore and i have no one to talk to about it. Can anyone give me some advice as to how i should go about things i really feel stuck i just wanna cry anymore

  26. #236
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    Hey godflesh. You should start your own thread and give us some information on what you've been using and for how long. There are some great people on here that will able to give you tons of support and advice!

  27. #237
    Godflesh34 is offline New Member
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    Ok thanks wasnt sure how this thread stuff works

  28. #238
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Michelle..
    great job on the cigs..
    I hear they are harder to give up than anything else..
    Star and BooBoo are running around watching us!
    Thank God
    Because I know we both could use some 24/7 angels!
    Surgery is coming upI see I know you will rock right on through just
    Like everything else that has been put in front of you..
    You are an inspiration indeed!
    Take care
    Bette

  29. #239
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    Hey there Bette!!
    So nice to hear from you. I miss when your not around, but can absolutely understand life taking up your hours, as there aren't enough in a day sometimes just to do the basics. Yes, surgery on the 17th of March and tomorrow I start my juicing diet. I'm sure your familiar with this, as they want to have my liver shrunk, so it gives them more room to move around. Then clear liquids 5 days after surgery, juicing again till the 14 day mark and then blenderizing diet for 1mo after surgery. I should loose a good 20 lbs just not eating for a month and a half!!!
    Through all this, I'm still learning to live without my sweet baby girl Starr. My male German Shepherd is still having a really hard time, but I'm so glad we have him. He's great company during the day, and although he was always way more high strung than Starr, has slowed down a lot.
    Life is just getting better everyday, which makes me excited that it seems to be finally coming together. I've dreamed of getting this weight off, getting my back surgery, then being able to enjoy everything to the fullest. This is my year Bette, and I can't wait to see whats around the bend!
    Thanks again for taking the time to stop by my thread. Hope all things are well with you and that you are happy and healthy. I'm striving towards this being my healthiest year in a decade!!
    No cigs, no pills, no problem. Lean and mean in 2016!!
    Blessings to you Bette,
    Michelle
    xxoo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-04-2016 at 06:45 AM.

  30. #240
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Good Morning Michelle,

    You sound great! This is exciting! Embarking on rebuilding your life...how can it be anything but exciting. 2015 wasn't kind to you but here we go! How is the smoking cessation going? (As I sit here with a butt hanging out of my mouth!).

    I'm coming along slow but sure. I have almost no pain except if I stand in one place for too long. The kitchen counter is a killer. I'm getting better at navigating the stairs and am finally beginning to climb them with alternating steps instead of the gimp way of one step at a time. I haven't been this pain free in a really long time but my age is showing! Just a brief trip out to the store and I come home exhausted. I have to be patient and I will. I want to have my regular energy back so that I can begin walking outside again. My goal is to get back up to my 5 miles a day by sometime in May. I'm also going to give quitting smoking another go. Not today, but soon. Famous last words.

    Happy weekend! Glad you posted!

    Peace,

    Cat

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