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Coming off subutex while pregnant
  1. #1
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Default Coming off subutex while pregnant

    Hi. I sent my son to stay with grandma while I detox at home. When I had him I wasn't on anything. After his birth I started using painkillers again because they gave me some after giving birth and that's all she wrote. I then started suboxone. Which I tried coming off of (jumped from 16mg) but couldn't handle my responsibilities as a mother (I'm actually a helicopter mom) so I had to go back on. So let's fast forward about 2 years and change later I find myself pregnant. I was switched to subutex and told oh it's fine you can stay on. No way can I risk my baby to WD after birth. It's just not an option. I'm willing to risk a miscarriage. So I am about 8 weeks along and jumped from 4-6 mg a day. I had no time to taper more it just didn't fit in with when my mother could take care of my son. So I took my last dose on wedneday, March 2nd, 6pm. Today is only day 4 without it and I am cracking... It's my last chance to get off... I can not fail but I don't know how much longer I can take the pain and the no sleep. The cold sweats, creepy crawly skin, restless legs, insane fatigue, body heavy as lead, and then let's add in uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms as well. Somebody please help. Tell me how much longer... What can I do?? Just some words of encouragement possibly?? I don't know... I also feel depressed and guilty like a trash bag like who does this with kids, I shouldn't have ever started.

  2. #2
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Please I am so desperate to talk to someone before I give up completely please.

  3. #3
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Hi mashamasha I'm on my 13th day of coming off 16mg cold turkey. I know your probably in some serious pain right now and can't sleep but it will get better. I know the days seem like they will never end right now for you but they will go by quicker than you think. Just take it by the hour, by the day and you will get through it if your strong. There is no way i would have even been capable to get on a computer on day 4 so your doing good. I'm not saying that i'm recovered by any means but the worst is over for me.
    I have a thread on here if you want to follow my journey to day 13. This website really helped me and i wish i had found it sooner because having somebody that relates to you helps so much, I know it did me. Hope you stick around. Your not alone
    Catrina likes this.

  4. #4
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Masha,

    Weekends are usually pretty slow around here so I'm sorry you didn't get a response sooner. Jumping from 4-6 mg/day is probably not the best decision most especially because you are pregnant. Is there a reason that you can't follow the taper used here and get off in a more comfortable, safer way? Do you still have some subs left? Having been off of them for a few days, you might just find that you can get stable on an even lower dose and with regular reductions, you can be off and feeling much better in 6-8 weeks.

    I'll watch for you to respond. There's a better way to do this and you have the opportunity to get on a lower dose making the length of your taper shorter. Let me know if you're up for trying it the right way and you'll get support and guidance. Post soon! Be kind to yourself and to your baby. You don't need to do this alone. We're here.

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #5
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks guys for replying !
    I had to jump from this dose because my mother could only take my son in the beginning of March, otherwise there's just no way I can be a good mother to him while I withdraw. I can't even take care of myself right now. So it's just the timing was not on my side but I am blessed that my mother is helping so much, after all it's not easy for her to take care of an almost 3 year old by herself but she's doing it for me. There's no way I can take even a small piece because it will be over for me, it will prolong it and I have to come get my son in a few days.

    I'm so miserable

  6. #6
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Hi blackwiliam
    I can't take these feelings and depression too. I keep thinking "I did this to myself", "this is something I didnt have to suffer through if I was just making the right decisions", "what a screw up I am since 17 I've been going on and off this junk. I've quit perks twice (once before the first pregnancy I was so lucky about the timing). But I have never quit subs. I wish I just quit blues instead of switching to subs, I had thought that was the right thing to do but jeez I really screwed myself. The fact that subs drag out so long is literally horrifying to me. The unknowing of what's to come, when will it end, when will I be myself again. I almost wish I was dead but I have my babies who need me so that as well is no option.

  7. #7
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackwilliam View Post
    Hi mashamasha I'm on my 13th day of coming off 16mg cold turkey. I know your probably in some serious pain right now and can't sleep but it will get better. I know the days seem like they will never end right now for you but they will go by quicker than you think. Just take it by the hour, by the day and you will get through it if your strong. There is no way i would have even been capable to get on a computer on day 4 so your doing good. I'm not saying that i'm recovered by any means but the worst is over for me.
    I have a thread on here if you want to follow my journey to day 13. This website really helped me and i wish i had found it sooner because having somebody that relates to you helps so much, I know it did me. Hope you stick around. Your not alone

    Hi blackwiliam
    I can't take these feelings and depression too. I keep thinking "I did this to myself", "this is something I didnt have to suffer through if I was just making the right decisions", "what a screw up I am since 17 I've been going on and off this junk. I've quit perks twice (once before the first pregnancy I was so lucky about the timing). But I have never quit subs. I wish I just quit blues instead of switching to subs, I had thought that was the right thing to do but jeez I really screwed myself. The fact that subs drag out so long is literally horrifying to me. The unknowing of what's to come, when will it end, when will I be myself again. I almost wish I was dead but I have my babies who need me so that as well is no option.

  8. #8
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    Masha,

    Weekends are usually pretty slow around here so I'm sorry you didn't get a response sooner. Jumping from 4-6 mg/day is probably not the best decision most especially because you are pregnant. Is there a reason that you can't follow the taper used here and get off in a more comfortable, safer way? Do you still have some subs left? Having been off of them for a few days, you might just find that you can get stable on an even lower dose and with regular reductions, you can be off and feeling much better in 6-8 weeks.

    I'll watch for you to respond. There's a better way to do this and you have the opportunity to get on a lower dose making the length of your taper shorter. Let me know if you're up for trying it the right way and you'll get support and guidance. Post soon! Be kind to yourself and to your baby. You don't need to do this alone. We're here.

    Peace,

    Cat
    I have plenty left I have two and a half boxes of suboxone (60 plus strips) and ten tablets of subutex left. But it's not an option.

    Hi sorry I copied and pasted I wasn't sure how to directly reply to someone at first.
    jump from this dose because my mother could only take my son in the beginning of March, otherwise there's just no way I can be a good mother to him while I withdraw. I can't even take care of myself right now. So it's just the timing was not on my side but I am blessed that my mother is helping so much, after all it's not easy for her to take care of an almost 3 year old by herself but she's doing it for me. There's no way I can take even a small piece because it will be over for me, it will prolong it and I have to come get my son in a few days.

  9. #9
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    I have a pretty good idea of how emotional women can get from just being pregnant (believe me I've been right there beside her for 3 pregnancies) then add what your going through on top on top of that, But i do believe you can do this because you sound like your still young and your body should recover more quickly than most. When you get through the next few days it will feel like a victory in itself and is very rewarding. Right when you get your kid back there's nowhere to go but up. I admitted to myself a few days ago that i could have been a better parent had it not been for the subs because now i feel like i didn't give my kids as much discipline for the last couple years. Anyways i'm here to help as much as i can, please keep updating.

  10. #10
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackwilliam View Post
    I have a pretty good idea of how emotional women can get from just being pregnant (believe me I've been right there beside her for 3 pregnancies) then add what your going through on top on top of that, But i do believe you can do this because you sound like your still young and your body should recover more quickly than most. When you get through the next few days it will feel like a victory in itself and is very rewarding. Right when you get your kid back there's nowhere to go but up. I admitted to myself a few days ago that i could have been a better parent had it not been for the subs because now i feel like i didn't give my kids as much discipline for the last couple years. Anyways i'm here to help as much as i can, please keep updating.
    I'm turning 29 in a few days actually. So I'm not so young, and I hope that it doesn't work against me. I've been crying and kicking my feet sweating like crazy I'm just not me. I feel so depressed, I go on Facebook and I see all these people so happy and I'm so afraid. I just want my happiness back. I'm sorry for whining and complaining but I feel the worst I've ever felt in my life.
    How do you feel now? How did you feel at day 4 and day 5?

  11. #11
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    I'm here for ya if you need cause i know how depressed you probably feel. I will be on and off this site all day because I have stuff that's been getting put off around the house and yard during my recovery so i'm not going anywhere. I'm only 33 myself and have 3 kids 4 to 7, The wife was here to help me through days 4,5 and 6 but day 7 I was able to get my kids off to school and take the youngest to her preschool and getting outside did me a world of good. To answer your question days 4,5 and 6 were pretty rough for me and at the time seemed so long with the restless legs,arms and lack of sleep, BUT time does go fast and once you get through That soon enough it will just be a distant memory and you will start feeling better. There was nowhere to go but up for me from that point on and today is day 13 and to be honest i feel like i'm going to be a better parent to my kids, I'm starting to enjoy music more, starting to get back my feelings, smiling more, sense of smell is better and I'm happier on day 13 of recovery than I've been the whole 30 months on suboxone.

    You've come this far which means your serious and if your stubborn enough and want your real life back I believe you can do it.

  12. #12
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackwilliam View Post
    I have a pretty good idea of how emotional women can get from just being pregnant (believe me I've been right there beside her for 3 pregnancies) then add what your going through on top on top of that, But i do believe you can do this because you sound like your still young and your body should recover more quickly than most. When you get through the next few days it will feel like a victory in itself and is very rewarding. Right when you get your kid back there's nowhere to go but up. I admitted to myself a few days ago that i could have been a better parent had it not been for the subs because now i feel like i didn't give my kids as much discipline for the last couple years. Anyways i'm here to help as much as i can, please keep updating.
    Quote Originally Posted by blackwilliam View Post
    I'm here for ya if you need cause i know how depressed you probably feel. I will be on and off this site all day because I have stuff that's been getting put off around the house and yard during my recovery so i'm not going anywhere. I'm only 33 myself and have 3 kids 4 to 7, The wife was here to help me through days 4,5 and 6 but day 7 I was able to get my kids off to school and take the youngest to her preschool and getting outside did me a world of good. To answer your question days 4,5 and 6 were pretty rough for me and at the time seemed so long with the restless legs,arms and lack of sleep, BUT time does go fast and once you get through That soon enough it will just be a distant memory and you will start feeling better. There was nowhere to go but up for me from that point on and today is day 13 and to be honest i feel like i'm going to be a better parent to my kids, I'm starting to enjoy music more, starting to get back my feelings, smiling more, sense of smell is better and I'm happier on day 13 of recovery than I've been the whole 30 months on suboxone.

    You've come this far which means your serious and if your stubborn enough and want your real life back I believe you can do it.
    Wow, three kids to raise and dealing with WD... You're awesome. I couldn't even handle my son, I had to send him to moms because I knew he would be cared for to the greatest extent. I heard some women detox while having to take care of their kids, I just couldn't imagine.
    Every minute in WD feels like a lifetime right? I wish there was a time machine to skip through these pains. Ever heard of rapid detox?

  13. #13
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    How are you on day 14 blackwiliam
    I am still the same if not worse

  14. #14
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    I actually just logged on and thought about updating my own thread. I felt good this morning because i actually got almost 7 hours sleep since this all started although it wasn't consistent. I might have pushed myself a little hard yesterday and feel kind of weak today but i know my body will regress every now and then. The aches and pains haven't been there for while so that's good. I came off more than double the dose than you and wasn't even capable of putting a computer in my hands on day 5 so you are actually doing way better than i was. You've come so far try to be strong, It will be a better life for you and your kids. I know every minute feels like a lifetime for you right now but this time next week you will get to look back and see how it really was and how you never want to go through that again. Try to think about the things you care the most about on this earth and use it as motivation, That's what i'm doing and it's working for me. I hope this helps.

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    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Hi blackwilliam sorry I did not have a chance to respond. How are you doing now? What day is it for you? Have you been sleeping?

    It's my day 9 this morning. Worst night ever last night. Haven't slept in days and days. Day times are far better and easier to get through and nights are maddening. True test of perserververence.

  16. #16
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    Hi sorry i didn't get back to you i was away with the family for a few days. I'm feeling better all the time except for the energy part. I'm on 21 days now and sleeping better. I was worried that you ended up having a miscarriage or relapsed. hope your still ok.

  17. #17
    MashaMasha is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackwilliam View Post
    Hi sorry i didn't get back to you i was away with the family for a few days. I'm feeling better all the time except for the energy part. I'm on 21 days now and sleeping better. I was worried that you ended up having a miscarriage or relapsed. hope your still ok.
    Hi blackwilliam, I'm glad you're doing well. No thank god niethrr of those things occurred with me. I'm feeling miserable and sick as a dog but I will not stop I will not turn back I've made it this far (day 12 coming to an end). I check my urine everyday with tests I bought and it's still there, so crazy how long and awful suboxone detoxing/ WD is. People should be told this straight off the bat!! Do you remember which day you were on when you finally got at least 3-4 hours of sleep? And I know you told me before but remind me of what dose you jumped off of? My brain is so fried obviously from all this awfulness flowing through my body. But I really can't believe I made it so far. And I'm proud of you, that's three whole weeks for you!!!

  18. #18
    blackwilliam is offline Junior Member
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    I just recently started sleeping better. On day 12 i still wasn't sleeping much but i would start getting a couple hours here and there. I was always a deep sleeper before any of this so maybe that helped me. I came off 16mg and on day 12 i was still frozen all the time even though i had the house at like 80 to 85 and still wearing a hoodie. I still had between 2 or 3 hot baths too. I could care less about the baths now and started showering again. How is your depression holding up because i read that a lot of people have trouble with that? I know your tired but does your head seem to be clearing up any? Do the days seem to be getting shorter as time goes on? I'm glad your doing ok and i'm proud of you too. You seem better because your post is more positive than before. You will never have to do this again and i hope its for you just as much as it is for your upcoming addition to the family. Keep me updated on your progress.

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