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DAY 1 through DAY 10 going COLD TURKEY
  1. #271
    slouisa is offline New Member
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    I'd even venture to say you may have saved a few lives here!
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  2. #272
    road- 2 - recovery is offline New Member
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    It's 1 pm here. Took 22mg of methadone last night at 8pm. None today though. This is tough. My body is screaming at me to use my methadone. It's like it's sitting on my shoulder saying take me take me. Ill make you feel all better. I can make it all go away. Man this stuff not only takes over our bodies but our minds just as much!! Please deliver me from this hell!

  3. #273
    road- 2 - recovery is offline New Member
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    it's about 2:30 p.m. Here and my body is really really begging for that methadone. Please someone say something to me to help keep me motivated not to touch this dirty stuff. .i want off of it so bad. I want my old life back so bad. I feel like I'm a slave to the stuff.

  4. #274
    road- 2 - recovery is offline New Member
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    Efil's story is what is motivating me to try even taper the stuff. Before reading his journey I had no hope at all and just decided to bow down and succumb to the methadone and I let myself believe that I would be a lifer. But like I said after reading his story I got some hope a glimmer of hope that maybe someday I too can be free.
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  5. #275
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 71 IN:
    Tuesday, January 20th 2015
    @ 3:50PM

    Nineteen more days until I reach the 90 day mark. I look back at the first 30 days of quitting the pain pills and it seems like a long time ago. I’ve had thoughts about what to do on that day, the 90th day and I’m going to do something fun and rewarding, what? I’m not sure, but even if its not something fantastic the day itself will still be fantastic, I hit my mark.

    This has been difficult, the mental part post withdrawals can play hard on one but the mental part you create prior to stopping is super valuable during those times. The following are some of the tools I created for myself:

    I kept a journal so to speak and recorded all the bad emotions, bouts of depression and sever mood swings. I also made a video speaking and looking directly into my cell phone. I’ve watched that video twice since stopping the pills. (I recommend doing this) If you make a video, make it when you are at your worst and be completely honest with yourself, make several if you have to! Use that video to remind yourself of how bad it was and how you told yourself you would do pretty much anything to just stop taking the pills.

    The ultimate cure for this disaster is time. It takes a long time to come back around and even longer to stay around and become you once again. The process in my case has taken days, weeks and months with such small improvements that I overlooked most and had to really think about how I felt and the person I was at that moment and only then did I realize the transformation was happening and for the best.

    The vitamins and supplements in my case only worked for the first few days (post withdrawals) and then made me feel uncomfortable and a few days after I stopped taking them I felt better. I had posted a story about the vitamin store and how they gave me energy and I felt pretty good but after about 7 days I realized I was very anxious and felt uncomfortable and since have stopped taking them and feel much better. That’s just me, but I do think when coming out of withdrawals the best course is healthy food, exercise and social stimulation.

    Sometimes I think about people who struggling with cancer and all the treatments they must go through and how bad they feel for months on end and believe me they feel really bad. I tried to put that in comparison to the withdrawals and it helped. I have personal experience with love ones who beat cancer and I was with them everyday seeing how terrible they felt and how bad the effects of the treatments were on the body and mind.

    In time they too felt better and it passed.

    My days are bright and clear, my motivation is coming around and my outlook is positive.

    There is great life after pain pills, really there is, I am proof!

    Once again I say:

    Commit to yourself you are going to quit

    Educate yourself about the journey ahead

    Prepare yourself for what is going to take place

    Prepare your life with ample time to recover

    Set the date, and be smart, look at what is happening around you and make sure that date makes sense for you and your schedule. Don’t make excuses; be realistic, and honest with yourself. If you find yourself making excuses stop the process and wait a bit until you are really ready to quit, its okay.

    In my case tapering was a nightmare, I was always in withdrawals and felt terrible, that did not work for me!

    Going cold turkey is not easy and will make you feel really bad, but it will not kill you, at least that is what the medical data I have read stated. The great news is it passes and does not return unless you do. Most people are their own worst enemy and I was too. I am trying everyday to treat myself better.

    I always got a laugh from people who smoked and would pay whatever price for cigarettes but would not buy tomatoes if they were over a certain price. They will pay whatever to kill them but not pay to be healthy, what is that? They must have been on pain pills!

    Point is, try and put as much effort in to being the best you can be and not so much effort into being the worst you can be. If on pain pills you can’t tell the difference, at least I couldn’t.

    I feel good today and that is awesome!

    Kind Regards,
    E

  6. #276
    slouisa is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by road- 2 - recovery View Post
    it's about 2:30 p.m. Here and my body is really really begging for that methadone. Please someone say something to me to help keep me motivated not to touch this dirty stuff. .i want off of it so bad. I want my old life back so bad. I feel like I'm a slave to the stuff.

    Do you have any movies you can watch? I once hung out on a recliner (got up to walk and move around) and watched hours of movies and drank coke floats--the only thing I could get down.
    Movies will help pass time. Disclaimer: avoid the sad stuff. Like the plague.
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  7. #277
    road- 2 - recovery is offline New Member
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    It's now about 6:30pm. Almost 23 hours since my last dose. And I only took a third of what im prescribed. Supposed to take 65mg only took 22mg. My body hurts like heck and im edgy and extremely uncomfortable. But happy because I haven't used. Thanks for the tips everyone.

  8. #278
    calnaturegal is offline New Member
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    E, I have followed your thread from the beginning and am so happy you've made it!! I'm so proud of you! I watched my son go through the absolute worst, saw him screaming he wanted to die because it was so awful and all I could do was be supportive, be there. Unfortunately, the evening of the 13th day, he just couldn't take it any more and was on the brink of either taking himself out or scoring on the streets. I suggested that it would be better to go back to the methadone than score and he really didn't want to end his life just when he was beginning to remember what it was like to feel things so he ended up using the methadone pill he's kept put away for just such an emergency. I think he was so worried I'd judge him, but how could I do that when I'd watched what he'd gone through from day one?! But his entire attitude about getting clean and facing life without numbing himself has changed through this experience, some of his epiphanies have been similar to yours and he now really truly does want a drug free life, marry his girlfriend and have a family, a first for him! (He just turned 27 and has been a serious drug user since he was 17 - went from party drugs like x to oxy to h and has been a full on addict for the last 3 years). He has planned out a very sensible schedule to get off the methadone with a new clinic and is making future plans like he hasn't in years, so I really think he'll do it this time. (4th time he's tried to get clean, 1st time he's made it past the 1st 5 days w/o using). He's found a different clinic that won't reduce the doses too quickly (the other had a mandatory policy of 6 month programs only, so they were dropping the doses down by quite big amounts at a time, causing him to withdraw every night - hence the going cold turkey 15 days ago) and I think that is a major component, too. Your success has been SOO important to me, to keep me strong in my support of my son, something he needed from me more than I realized the last few times he tried. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your experience with the rest of us. You have been such a rock of strength, especially when the lack of sleep was really wearing you down!! I think that was the most difficult aspect for my son, it made it too hard to deal with the pain, etc because he was so exhausted with no relief in sight. Thank you for staying sane and staying strong!! Sending you light and love and many positive thoughts for your future endeavors, E. And for your wife, too, for being there to support you through it all.

    Calnaturegal
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  9. #279
    calnaturegal is offline New Member
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    Please hang in there, Road, sending you lots of positive energy and thoughts. Use the supplements, they do help when the worst hits. The lack of sleep will wear you down, be kind to yourself and find as many things to distract yourself as you can. CBD pills also did a lot to help with the pain, crawling skin and inability to sit still, if you can get those. The ones from the clubs that are made from mj rather than hemp seemed to work better for my son because they had a very small amount of thc as well as the high amount of cbd. High thc just seemed to make the skin issues and aching worse for him, but the ones that were made from hemp with no thc didn't help the restlessness enough. When you finally reach some of the points, like E, where you can look behind you and see the progress you've made, you will feel encouragement to continue. His idea of keeping journals, both video and writing, are great for that!! Keeping you in my thoughts. Great big motherly hug for you.

    Calnaturegal
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  10. #280
    road- 2 - recovery is offline New Member
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    Wish I was able to get my hands on some of those. I've heard of cbd before but have never had any one offer it or really even know what it is.

  11. #281
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 74 IN:

    True recovery take months, but the realization of progress take weeks, the ability to recognize the progress takes brain power. The brain power required to see the past and apply it to the future takes will power. Everyday forward motion requires strength. YES, the first days of taking the pain pills was absolute, but the days forward were disasters, knowing the difference when trying to become normal are tough but reality as it stands as a constant and stays the same.

    Point being nothing will match the feeling during the first stage of taking pain pills but nothing is worth the cost! The cost is something that will never leave and will out way the benefit every time. That sucks but that's reality pain pills are not!

    Take your time, realize where you're at and apply the plan to get better.

    Life away from the pills is much better then wit the pills - really it is!

  12. #282
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    77 DAYS IN:

    Still pushing

    Every time I feel down or believe I have no energy or motivation I quickly remind myself of the mornings I woke up feeling just terrible, hardly able to make a cup of coffee. I then realize how far I have come and keep going. This takes time, allot of time. I read posts about people relapsing and totally understand why, sometime it just gets so hard to feel such blah! I too have felt for a split second I would be so much more productive if I could kill this pain and get moving but it passes as quickly as it came on. I force it to pass and force myself to push forward.

    The 90 day mark is fast approaching and I'm not feeling as if I will be back to normal, well at least where I would like to be or where I believe normal should be. I know what I need to do and will do it when ready, that is more exercise, more socials and a better routine.

    My body has rid itself of the medication and now it's my turn to feed my mind and become who I know I am.

    Take it until you make it and never give up, I tell myself.

    Kind Regards,
    E.

  13. #283
    Paulyhadthepink is offline New Member
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    E.
    I've read every word you've written; all of them! I myself stopped COLD TURKEY (May5th,2014) after several failed attempts. As a 10 year recreational user with means to have continued, I knew "IT" had to end before my life did. Like many reading your posts, your providing strength and inspiration to many recovering addicts. Keep it going!
    90 days is a fantastic milestone. There are some days one remembers better than others and 90 was one that stuck out. I too remember asking the "normal" question. Just know that your heading in "ITS" direction. I'm proud to say I'm almost 9 months "pill free" and although I rarely think about using pills, I know today's "normal" is great compared to the first few months.
    Efil Pleh likes this.

  14. #284
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    There has been very trying days over the past few weeks, I'm frustrated and want to get back to work. I'm not discouraged just frustrated. The days where I find no energy at all are really bothersome and drumming up motivation is a challenge. I have also found myself avoiding people and really not wanting to deal with them, I know its probably the best thing for me to commingle with everyone so I can just to keep my brain active.

    It will all come together soon and I know I must do more myself to make it happen. There is no other choice then to deal with this head on and force myself to get going. The physical withdrawals are just the beginning to a road of recovery. The whole ordeal that lead up to this disaster really makes me angry, I should of know better, I should have seen what was happening sooner ---- shoulda, coulda, woulda --- It is what it is and I will succeed! A bit upset with it all right now but not looking back and pushing and looking forward.

    I will be so happy when normal routine returns!

    E.

  15. #285
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    I know everyone has other things to do in life... however, I look forward to your posts. Have not seen one in a few days. I hope you are doing well. I like your self reflection, your research, and sharing what you have learned along the way.
    Iluv2smile and Efil Pleh like this.

  16. #286
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    82 DAYS IN:

    Eight more days until the 90-day mark is achieved, so, how do I feel?

    Prior to my quitting date I conducted ample research so I was prepared, I read the acute withdrawals were the easy part in the whole of recovery. Since I had no real-time experience with this disaster I would just take that as okay we will see. Once I was in full withdrawals I thought how could anything be harder then what I was experiencing? I pushed through those minutes, hours, days, weeks and month+.

    Once I was done with the withdrawals I thought I got this and should feel like myself soon. I understood (at that time) my body was going to take time to get back to normal and the hard part was over. My body stopped hurting, my sleep improved and my sever opiate based depression had lifted which all happen around 35-45 days.

    I remember having a week or so of feeling pretty good, I started cooking again and doing things at about 70%, it seemed things were getting better.

    As time went on I started to feel emotionally unstable and down. The dreams were disturbing and really hit hard on my self-esteem and confidence. I wake up many mornings feeling really down which lasts for just a short time and I seem to forget about the dreams and start my day. I do not dream of the pain pills, I dream about things that happen while on the pain pills. In reality most of them are just normal life, well I guess normal depending on your situation and family but typically normal. The problem is they are intensified in my dreams and work up heavy emotions and guilt and many other feelings.

    I have many ups and downs during the day and find it hard to complete tasks and or feel good about much of anything; I get stressed easily and bothered by little things. I work hard to control these feeling and push to complete tasks but procrastination is at an all time high!


    Now I understand what the research stated about the acute withdrawals being the easy part and if you are reading this while going through the acute withdrawals or contemplating quitting you will most likely think that can’t be.

    The post acute withdrawals are very troublesome and wear on your mental! It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, some days better than others and very difficult to deal with. I am going through this at current and do not like it! Dah!

    What I have done to lighten the intensity of this phase of recovery is to recognize what is happening to me and how to deal with it. I deal with it sometimes and other times just become very down. I know what I need to do I just need to do it!

    What helps with this is looking deeper then the surface about what has been accomplished and remembering those moments of feeling okay, that in itself provides me with hope and ambition to keep going which is really the only option. I find the small accomplishments that are overlooked and clouded by how I am feeling, I force myself to remember how I felt and realize how much worse it was. That also provides self-support and good reason to force myself out of this period / stage of recovery.

    I have researched PAWS and hate everything about it and struggle to admit I may be experiencing it. I just keep telling myself I will fall into the time frame of experiencing paws only for a short time. Reading about PAWS is really scary and can be depressing in itself but it is reality and does improve, I just don’t like the projected time frames!

    I do realize I now see the sun and in retrospect may days are truly better then the past, but the constant fight just to achieve a life once again is a real test of who you are. I have felt from time to time life is over for me and I must just accept that but then quickly achieve anger in regards to that thought and say to myself no way, not today and not tomorrow, the real truth is life has just begun!

    Take it until you make it and never give up!

    Kind Regards,
    E.
    Sadmommy13 and TheGoodSister like this.

  17. #287
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Great Post E.
    I am sorry it has been hard..
    But PAWs could give you comfort..
    Knowing it is temporary.
    Knowing it is your brain fighting to get back to normal neurotransmitter production..
    It takes time..
    You know that..
    I jumped 3 days ago after a long sub taper..
    When I start to feel anxious or down..
    I recognize it for what it is a thought!
    Not necessarily a fact..
    Watch it leave my mind as quickly as it came into it..

    I know you will be ok..
    Thank you for sharing your struggles..
    It reassures me that I am not alone..
    Neither are you..
    It is actually a smal, price to pay..
    For freedom from a life of counting, worring, obsessing and lying about pills..

    Team sobriety!
    Is here to stay..
    Hugs to u!
    Bette
    Sadmommy13 likes this.

  18. #288
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Efil Pleh View Post
    82 DAYS IN:

    Eight more days until the 90-day mark is achieved, so, how do I feel?

    Prior to my quitting date I conducted ample research so I was prepared, I read the acute withdrawals were the easy part in the whole of recovery. Since I had no real-time experience with this disaster I would just take that as okay we will see. Once I was in full withdrawals I thought how could anything be harder then what I was experiencing? I pushed through those minutes, hours, days, weeks and month+.

    Once I was done with the withdrawals I thought I got this and should feel like myself soon. I understood (at that time) my body was going to take time to get back to normal and the hard part was over. My body stopped hurting, my sleep improved and my sever opiate based depression had lifted which all happen around 35-45 days.

    I remember having a week or so of feeling pretty good, I started cooking again and doing things at about 70%, it seemed things were getting better.

    As time went on I started to feel emotionally unstable and down. The dreams were disturbing and really hit hard on my self-esteem and confidence. I wake up many mornings feeling really down which lasts for just a short time and I seem to forget about the dreams and start my day. I do not dream of the pain pills, I dream about things that happen while on the pain pills. In reality most of them are just normal life, well I guess normal depending on your situation and family but typically normal. The problem is they are intensified in my dreams and work up heavy emotions and guilt and many other feelings.

    I have many ups and downs during the day and find it hard to complete tasks and or feel good about much of anything; I get stressed easily and bothered by little things. I work hard to control these feeling and push to complete tasks but procrastination is at an all time high!


    Now I understand what the research stated about the acute withdrawals being the easy part and if you are reading this while going through the acute withdrawals or contemplating quitting you will most likely think that can’t be.

    The post acute withdrawals are very troublesome and wear on your mental! It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, some days better than others and very difficult to deal with. I am going through this at current and do not like it! Dah!

    What I have done to lighten the intensity of this phase of recovery is to recognize what is happening to me and how to deal with it. I deal with it sometimes and other times just become very down. I know what I need to do I just need to do it!

    What helps with this is looking deeper then the surface about what has been accomplished and remembering those moments of feeling okay, that in itself provides me with hope and ambition to keep going which is really the only option. I find the small accomplishments that are overlooked and clouded by how I am feeling, I force myself to remember how I felt and realize how much worse it was. That also provides self-support and good reason to force myself out of this period / stage of recovery.

    I have researched PAWS and hate everything about it and struggle to admit I may be experiencing it. I just keep telling myself I will fall into the time frame of experiencing paws only for a short time. Reading about PAWS is really scary and can be depressing in itself but it is reality and does improve, I just don’t like the projected time frames!

    I do realize I now see the sun and in retrospect may days are truly better then the past, but the constant fight just to achieve a life once again is a real test of who you are. I have felt from time to time life is over for me and I must just accept that but then quickly achieve anger in regards to that thought and say to myself no way, not today and not tomorrow, the real truth is life has just begun!

    Take it until you make it and never give up!

    Kind Regards,
    E.
    Take it til you make it! YES!

    I'm close to 40 days. In agreement with everything you have said. I thought I would be "well" after the physical wds. Boy was I ever wrong! My mind is my most powerful organ. and convincing it to be happy without the synthetic happy is far more difficult than "having a flu". But feeling stringer every day, and facing the ups and downs with a clear mind, instead of a foggy and numbed one. What a great post. Makes me feel less alone!

  19. #289
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iluv2smile View Post
    Great Post E.
    I am sorry it has been hard..
    But PAWs could give you comfort..
    Knowing it is temporary.
    Knowing it is your brain fighting to get back to normal neurotransmitter production..
    It takes time..
    You know that..
    I jumped 3 days ago after a long sub taper..
    When I start to feel anxious or down..
    I recognize it for what it is a thought!
    Not necessarily a fact..
    Watch it leave my mind as quickly as it came into it..

    I know you will be ok..
    Thank you for sharing your struggles..
    It reassures me that I am not alone..
    Neither are you..
    It is actually a smal, price to pay..
    For freedom from a life of counting, worring, obsessing and lying about pills..

    Team sobriety!
    Is here to stay..
    Hugs to u!
    Bette
    This made me think of something I chant to myself all of the time.... when I feel one of those low, unmotivated waves coming along, I say "this is just a feeling, and I will not die from a feeling". It helps me convince myself it will pass just as quickly as it came.

  20. #290
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    """""90"""""" DAYS ACHIEVED

    THANK YOU for all the support, I could not have done it without all of you, for real!

    Kind Regards,
    E.

  21. #291
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    My gosh E - this is a monumental moment. This is what you have striven for all along. 90 days! You must be over the moon. Congratulations! I know, through your posts, you have had some tough times, but you have prevailed. You give the test of hope through your research and self reflection. You will be on top again. You will get on that highway once again towards success--maybe just on a different avenue this time. Without the pills. You are still you which sounds like a pretty darn good person to me. Please celebrate. I know I will at my 90 day mark. That will be May 8, 2015. It will be 3 months for me, and 6 months and 1 day for you. Imagine that. I am in the fight for my life. So were you, and you did it.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-07-2015 at 07:28 PM. Reason: grammar

  22. #292
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    E - Congratulations! 90 days - this was your goal. You made your goal. You have no idea how many lives your story has impacted so many people. I am one of them. I thought, many a time, by reading your posts, if he can do this, go through the up and downs, so can I. Your honesty is refreshing, and your ability to convey what you are going through has been so very helpful. Please continue to post. You will make it to the top again. Maybe in a different manner... Maybe this time you will make it feeling real, not behind a something is not real to any of us. I wish you all the best. You deserve. I hope you celebrate today. You deserve it.

  23. #293
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Congrats on the 90 days!!!! It is a goal that I can't wait to get to as well. Hope you are celebrating you so deserve it. Congrats again!!!

  24. #294
    eyenstyne is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Efil Pleh View Post
    """""90"""""" DAYS ACHIEVED

    THANK YOU for all the support, I could not have done it without all of you, for real!

    Kind Regards,
    E.

    Rock and Roll, my friend, I am right on your heals at day 88! Congratulations, I am really proud of you and I'll bet you are proud of you, too. Screw that evil garbage, I'm never going back. It took me almost 3 decades to declare that and finally mean it, but I'm done.

    You have inspired many here, E, Thank you!

  25. #295
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 97 IN:

    Went to the Doctors today for a check up, everything is normal except she told me I am depressed, I said no shut! She asked do you have any energy challenges and or are you having difficulty getting things done, I said OMG Yes!

    She said you have depression mixed with ADHD, I said yep! I explained I’ve had ADHD since child but worked my way through it. I was smart enough to surround myself with people who could complete intense detailed tasks, they all worked for me. I did give credit where credit was due.

    Okay so then she said I am going to give you a script for Cymbalta and Adderall. Feeling as I did I said Okay, but now that I have read up on each of these medications I believe it’s a duplicate path to where I have been, “maybe” not as bad but still the same path. Who knows, I’m afraid to take anything now.

    I can’t stay in this state much longer, that doesn’t mean I will take another pain pill, which will not happen. I have no craving or urges for pain pills, none, that’s a God sent! I just need to feel better now!

    I feel better than I had during withdrawals but life is calling me and I just cant seem to take the call at current and really don’t have much more time to wait.

    She also asked me if I still have pain, I said yes, she said would you like something for that, I said no.

    Really? Is she that removed? Sometimes I wish there was an instant way to send a human into server withdrawals for just two days and then, and only then, they would understand, Doctors are no different.

    Unless you have been there you just do not get it!

    I have always recommended to people close to me to be a jack-of-all-trades and a master of one, yes master of one. I believe you cannot rely on anyone completely, you must know a little or allot when making any decision or trying to get anything done. Anyone that flies blind deserves to crash, I did!

    Also if you don’t know just a little you will get frustrated with the results because you have know idea what it took to get them and what exactly was missed.

    Anyway --- Now what do I do, I know what I should do and that is just give it more time and do all the things I have been doing except eating!

    E.

  26. #296
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    hi E. i am one of ur biggest supporters. I know the next thing i say will more than likely make u mad. But I sincerely.want u to suceed. U did a fine job with quitting. Now u r faced with staying quit. Its nearly impossible alone. There is a huge amd wonderful network out there for us. Others who have been where we were and live productive, happy lives. They r the lady next door, bank presidents, parents, doctors, u name it, they are there. Where?! The fellowship of NA and AA. Unfortunately the.addict who STAYS clean without this network is few and.far between. I hope you can hear me. Im on ur side. NA.ORG. try it, what do u have to lose? If u go and work at it and it doesnt help u, as the old timers say, "misery refunded at the door"
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

  27. #297
    Anonymous Guest

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    E - I am so glad you posted. I was starting to become a little worried. Glad your doctor's appointment went well aside from the depression. I wish I could contribute to what to do on that front, but cannot. I have it too, fight it, and don't like it. I was so happy when you hit 90 days, but sensed from your post, there was some sadness connected to it. Please don't be disappointed you are not yourself. As everyone on here posts, take one day at a time. I understand, believe me, no one knows our whole story and what we must do or have to do. It can be overwhelming. However, I am a believer it can be done. We have to believe that. If you do not want to take the antidepressant, maybe talking with someone would help. I don't know. I am in the same boat there. Just be proud of your accomplishment thus far E. You have done great. You figured one part out, and you will figure this next part out too.
    Efil Pleh likes this.

  28. #298
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Melina123 View Post
    hi E. i am one of ur biggest supporters. I know the next thing i say will more than likely make u mad. But I sincerely.want u to suceed. U did a fine job with quitting. Now u r faced with staying quit. Its nearly impossible alone. There is a huge amd wonderful network out there for us. Others who have been where we were and live productive, happy lives. They r the lady next door, bank presidents, parents, doctors, u name it, they are there. Where?! The fellowship of NA and AA. Unfortunately the.addict who STAYS clean without this network is few and.far between. I hope you can hear me. Im on ur side. NA.ORG. try it, what do u have to lose? If u go and work at it and it doesnt help u, as the old timers say, "misery refunded at the door"
    Those who cannot except suggestions and comments never grow or get better. I'm not mad at all, on the contrary I appreciate your suggestion. Thanks

  29. #299
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 102 IN:

    I have decided to pass on the Doctors recommendations of taking an antidepressant or and ADHD med. I know what I'm going through and why and better yet know whats best to do for myself. It's going to take will power, exercise and getting out of my comfort zone, which I will do.

    Each day at current is good, now its up to me too make them great.

    Take it until you make it and never give up.

    Kind Regards,
    E.

  30. #300
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    Aug 2014
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    Hey e congrats on passing the century mark! I read your posts this morning and wow am I impressed by your strength. I'm on day 4 and this is my third time through the ringer so kudos for being so strong. I like your idea about the video...I wrote myself a letter yesterday and hope it helps. Anyways just wanted to say you've given me a lot of hope. God bless
    Efil Pleh likes this.

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