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DAY 1 through DAY 10 going COLD TURKEY
  1. #301
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    EVERYONE IS FULL OF AXIETY AND WORRY ABOUT THE WITHDRAWAL PERIOD and they should be, but the reality of pain pills comes post withdrawal and is much more complicated to deal with and understand.

    During my discomfort coming off the medication someone posted:

    One day your withdrawal period will become a distant memory and you will face pushing forward. I thought to myself, really, how could anything be worse then this?

    Truth is (4me) the withdrawals were the easy part. I could feel them as intense feelings of desperation and hurt, I could see, myself, all messed up and wanting so badly to become normal once again. It was real and it was hell, but in reality it was insignificant to the bigger picture!

    My projection now is the same as I stood as a leader of people – I stated, suggested and demanded my team to stand hard and make no excuses for their behaviors! Understand what’s wrong using whatever sources they had no matter the result.

    I always told them they could return too greatness! “People Forget”

    Now it’s my turn to take, listen and apply my own advice! & I will!

    Give yourself time, it’s the only thing that really works!

    Kind Regards,
    E.
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  2. #302
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    I no longer calculate the days until refill time
    I no longer watch the clock
    I no longer count pills

    and now I have lost track of the days since my last pain pill was ingested

    I feel good, almost great. The mental part has lifted and I'm looking forward and can honestly say I have kicked this nasty addiction and dependancy. Its all over for me, finally!

    The two key factors for me were time and purity of life. Both equally important but time is the big one, you just have to keep taking it until you make it. I made it!

    Anyone walking through the valley of heck, just know this, it does get better and life does return. It has taken almost 4 months for me, others may have a shorter journey or a bit longer, never-the-less it's totally worth it.

    Never give up!

    Kind Regards,
    E.

  3. #303
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I am happy you are doing great..
    I too am clean 32 days..
    Isn't it great?
    Not perfect but better than any day using!
    Thank you
    Iluv2
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  4. #304
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iluv2smile View Post
    I am happy you are doing great..
    I too am clean 32 days..
    Isn't it great?
    Not perfect but better than any day using!
    Thank you
    Iluv2
    Congratulations, you are Awesome!

    Keep up the great work....
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  5. #305
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I just went back and read your first days..
    Wow time flies.
    Kat has 6 months
    And Randy > 9 months...

    Looking back getting clean was easy..
    Life can be tough but at least we can make decisions based on reality rather than on if I had another pill then be able to make the decision..
    Take care
    Bette
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  6. #306
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    Congrats on your days clean and free!
    Just wanted to check in as you and I went through detox around the same time. I had one bump in the road but nothing like it was!
    Hope you and you're family are well and are enjoying the sunshine and beach!
    Love and light xxoo
    Efil Pleh and Sadmommy13 like this.

  7. #307
    BTexas2010 is offline Member
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    Wow Efil,
    What a story! I am so glad you didn't stop at 10 days (even if it did take me 90 minutes to read) as that is an inspiring story to say the least! Your openness, honesty and humbling expierences are life saving to so many! I just celebrated 4 years from the help of this board...it is amazing isn't it? Again, congratulations! -BTex
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  8. #308
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    I am so very happy for you. I have been following your story for a long time. At times, I would become worried, you were balancing on a beam. I gradually saw a light for you at the end of the tunnel, and little by little I felt confident you were going to make it through the darkness. This post of yours made me smile inside and out. You gave hope, through your journey, that it happens. The freedom to put that part of your life behind you and to look forward to the future has to be so freeing. Time, purity of life. They are really two simple things, but yet two really hard things to obtain through this struggle. You did it E. Keep posting. You help a lot of people.

  9. #309
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Thank all of you for your comments, support and encouragement!

    I would have never achieved this change in my life without all of you.

    All of you have helped me through the toughest time in my life.

    No one would ever have understood what I / we were / are going through unless they had been through it themselves.

    I have learned a very valuable lesson through all of this and that is I need people!

    During the last several years of my life and career I thought I could do anything and didn’t need or want any help from anyone. I lost focus of what life was really about, it’s about people! Just imagine having everything you want, cars, houses, boats, trips, PILLS and all the other >>>> without people.

    In the end you have nothing!

    Take special note to what I just stated

    (the last several years)

    I thought this way and what was I doing (the last several years) was eating pills!

    I also stated this was the toughest time in my life and probably in any ones life, why?

    Because the consequence’s and results are so devastating!

    It’s a life ender!

    Do whatever it takes and never give up and take it until you make it!

    “I’m no one special” Until now and so can you!

    I care about all of you and thank you again!

    Sincerely,
    E
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  10. #310
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    E, came over to check on you. So happy you are doing well. Ive rooted for you thru all of this. I particularly remember the day you returned your meds to the UPS driver. I tore up 2 scripts but they were not handing the pills back. Ill never forget that. Thanks for sharing. xo Mel
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  11. #311
    Paulyhadthepink is offline New Member
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    E.
    Nothin like bein high on life! Congrats on your new found freedom. keep loggin them days....it continues to get better. Exactly 10 months for me today.

  12. #312
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iluv2smile View Post
    I am happy you are doing great..
    I too am clean 32 days..
    Isn't it great?
    Not perfect but better than any day using!
    Thank you
    Iluv2
    ILuv2,

    I am so happy you are now free and clean. I hope and pray you are now receiving the gift of life, the gift the keeps on giving. For me it has not been easy but it gets better everyday.

    I can tell you are a great person and it reminds me of a phrase people used to tell me , they said, stay the way you are and you will have a great life. When they said that It was just me and I never took any stimulants. I was always happy, all the way up until I was 49 years old, which was 3 years into taking those nasty pills.

    Point is: Once you have achieve stable happiness and a common demeanor hold on to it and never let go and stay the way you are and you will have a great life. I can tell you are special!

    Sincerely,
    E
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  13. #313
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    FOUR MONTHS FREE!

    "The Only One who will take care of You is YOU"

    I had dinner with a Doctor this evening and our conversation covered many topics, one of which was prescribing addictive medications. I asked what is the answer (start - stop) for people prescribed addictive narcotics such as ADD meds. Pain Meds and so on.

    The answer was exactly what I expected:

    Take them until you can't take them anymore. WOW = Really?

    Why wouldn't they say / he say:

    I tell each patient that many people have completely ruined their life on these medications, here is a real-life example of what could happen and more likely than will happen.

    They should say:
    If you are in such pain that you are going to lose your life or you are so messed up that your life is ruins take these meds, at least they will give you a window of relief, but I will nor prescribe them any further then 45 days!

    Point is YOU know whats best for you, you do! - We all do!

    E.
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  14. #314
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    E I have read alomg with your post. I am so happy you are doing much better I know it was a hard struggke for you. I was wondering if you feel like the brain heals more between the 3rd and 4th month. I just see on your post where you have a huge improvement in the last 30 days and just wondered if you did something differrent or if it was just a time frame thing. I feel anything close to 100%.... More like in the negative. Do not want to take an ad. Really hate the dreams also then I wake up with anxiety. I feel like lately I am just doing my time which is ok especially if I know 120 day really starts to get better.....plus I am half way there. Thanks and congrats on 4 months it is a huge accomplishment.

  15. #315
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    E I have read alomg with your post. I am so happy you are doing much better I know it was a hard struggke for you. I was wondering if you feel like the brain heals more between the 3rd and 4th month. I just see on your post where you have a huge improvement in the last 30 days and just wondered if you did something differrent or if it was just a time frame thing. I feel anything close to 100%.... More like in the negative. Do not want to take an ad. Really hate the dreams also then I wake up with anxiety. I feel like lately I am just doing my time which is ok especially if I know 120 day really starts to get better.....plus I am half way there. Thanks and congrats on 4 months it is a huge accomplishment.

    Hi Sunshine,

    I do feel the last 30 days have been much improved and believe I’m about 70% back to normal physically and 60% mentally. I know those percentages don’t sound great but given I like you were in the negatives they become great! I will take them and thank God I achieved them and hold onto them and keep pushing.

    What I did different in the last 30 days was increased my social life, I have spent more time with people. Also stopped eating so much (see below)

    I really believe its all about time and purity of life. I have not taken anything except Aleeve. I only take one and several days apart and only when needed. I’m eating right and taking no vitamins.

    If I had to provide an opinion based on my experience to-date and what I believe to be in my future I would say:

    After 4 months I feel much better and only felt this way for the last 2-3 weeks. I’m at the point where I can function properly, socialize normally and get through the day without major struggles. I also believe it will take two years to fully come around (100%).

    I am happy and doing things and most of the bad stuff is gone. Energy is still a concern, but I know what I need to do. A body at rest stays at rest, a body active remains active. The more I move the more energy I have, the hard part is to get moving.

    There was one thing I was doing in the first couple of months that was taking me backwards and that was eating too much and all the wrong foods. I gained 20lbs and felt terrible so trying to figure out if I was getting better became clouded. When I realized the chicken wings and pizza were making me feel terrible along with the extra weight I stopped eating so much and leveled out. I didn’t eat much while taking the pain pills and then when I stopped I ate everything and gained weight too fast, it made me feel super sluggish and absolutely no energy!

    This whole disaster is no easy task for anyone and requires such determination and patients. You will feel better in time, it may be 4 months or 6 months but it will happen. Feed your mind with positive thoughts and keep the glass is half full mentality.

    I also had terrible dreams and depression and anxiety in the mornings, it has reduced quite a bit but still happens on occasions. this too will pass and go away.

    Force yourself to recognize the successes you have had thus far, there are many, problem is they are hard to see when you still feel bad, but if you search hard you will see them and once you do think about them and they will become significant.

    Sincerely,
    E
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  16. #316
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    E thanks for the reply. I know about the weight and eating. I have never never in my entire life eat so much food. I don't even like food!! Two months ago I was up 8 pds. Who knows how much more I have gained. No worries I will lose it. Yes I need to give up pizza although I do try and eat healthy. The social is a big thing...I .understand. If those things will begin to give me better days I will jump on that ride as well. Feel like I have tried everything else. I do hope that 120 days is the turn around moment. It would be easier if I did not wake with anxiety. Thanks again for the reply and sharing the info,
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  17. #317
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    The THIRD test of my will power happened today:

    This morning as the sun was shining through the window, which I noticed and felt and it gave me a good feeling, like I need to go to the beach or wash the car or just go for a walk and enjoy the morning - while feeling and thinking all of that i was cleaning out my briefcase from quite a while back.

    In the small internal zipper compartment I found the small silver pill holder I carried when traveling, I turned the lid slowly thinking to myself what am I going to do if there are pain pills in there? Now, you are probably thinking to yourself while reading this he is thinking about just maybe taking one (if there were even any in there), or and depending on how many just having a few days of fun, spreading them over time and then just stopping?

    As I turned the lid, I was think and thinking hard. I thought about many things like what would be the most fun thing to do if the pills were actually in there, I turned and turned, this was a big lid, just kidding, it took about three twists. I really wanted that container to be full of pills, I was wishing and saying to myself, please let there be a full load in this container!

    As the lid came loose I tilted it and peeked inside and sure enough I could see the round green 30 mg and the round pink 60 mg - there were 6, 30 mg and 2, 60 mg - I was so happy!

    Now, what was I thinking while opening the container?

    I was thinking:

    Flush Them
    Grind Them Up in The Garbage Disposal
    Take them out back, smash them with a hammer and wash them of the patio with the hose

    I chose to smash them with the hammer and wash them away and thats what I did. As the hammered and now powdered pills mixed with the water and drained off the cement and into the grass I looked at them and said fyou.

    Never once did I think about taking one, it never crossed my mind, all I thought about was how I would destroy them, which method would give me the most satisfaction and be the most fun. For sure the hammer and wash method is the most rewarding!

    I am free and where I want to be!

    Okay better go, just thought about the dog going outside and maybe eating grass or licking or something. Good thing is if he does, I will know what he is going through and be able to help him, Hehehe!

    If I can reach this achievement so can you!

    Never give up and take it until you make it.

    Kind Regards,
    E
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  18. #318
    ThsMomIsHopeful is offline New Member
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    Hello all, I'm very new to this site & detox... I will be doing cold turkey very scared and worried because I am a SINGLE mother/no father around to 2 children one being a 1yr old bby girl. Help!!! I have been taking 10mg loratab for 5-6yrs off and on, I only take 2-3 a day sometimes not even that. I was told it should be easy being I went from taking 10mg roxys no Tylenol pure opt. To 10/325mg loratabs? I want to do this w/o taking more drugs or subs NONE OF THAT!! Want to do this, for my babies & myself...?

  19. #319
    ThsMomIsHopeful is offline New Member
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    Hello all, I'm very new to this site & detox... I will be doing cold turkey very scared and worried because I am a SINGLE mother/no father around to 2 children one being a 1yr old bby girl. Help!!! I have been taking 10mg loratab for 5-6yrs off and on, I only take 2-3 a day sometimes not even that. I was told it should be easy being I went from taking 10mg roxys no Tylenol pure opt. To 10/325mg loratabs? I want to do this w/o taking more drugs or subs NONE OF THAT!! Want to do this, for my babies & myself...?

  20. #320
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Today is one of the worst days of my life.

    My Dad died today at 2:29PM while I was holding his hand, it was devastating to see my Dad fade away right in front of my eyes. I have never had anyone close to me die, this is real sadness. I held his had while he was in a state of coma from lung cancer, I held his hand for hours. He was a great Dad with a solid history too follow. I respected him more than anyone, he worked hard to provide for his family and take care of us, we were always together, they moved where I moved, they = Mom and Dad.

    I am hurting bad!

    The one positive thing I can say is:

    Thank GOD I do not take pain pills anymore, I could just imagining the messed up and fogged emotions I would have felt while going through this horrible day. I would have been a giant confused emotionally unstable idiot, but clean and free of those nasty pills I felt real love, real compassion and was clear on my thoughts. I didn't need a pain pill to get through this and I don't need one this evening while feeling like a part of my own being has been erased.

    I am of sound mind and real feelings, someone has been watching out for me!

    I will grieve normally and remember the good times with my Father clearly and will not have any pain pill induced bizarre thoughts and emotions. Thank GOD I was not taking pain pills during one of the most heart challenging times of my life.


    E

  21. #321
    wendy9 is offline New Member
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    I'm so very sorry for your loss E. I've been following your journey, and for this to happen to you is just too awful. My sincere condolences.
    Wendy

  22. #322
    Lalalimbo123 is offline Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss E!
    My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

    Much love
    Lala

  23. #323
    Anonymous Guest

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    E - words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. Your post brought back so many memories of my own father's death, 34 years ago. That feeling of sadness like you have never known before can only be explained by being lucky enough to have a father whom you loved much and, obviously, had very fond memories of. It's what kept me going, and what will keep you going. I am glad that you faced this horrible day with a clean mind. It will be in honor of your father that you keep this feeling of clarity and the ability to feel. Being able to feel again, even though I am not anywhere near that point, is something that, through all of this, you must be grateful for. I, like you, feel so fortunate to have had a wonderful father. May the memories you had together get you through this very difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you E. Please excuse my delay in replying. I was gone over the weekend.

  24. #324
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    How are you doing E? I know you are going through a rough patch with the passing of your father. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong. Keep us posted.

  25. #325
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Thank you hope1211

    It's going on 5 months since i stopped the medication and each week gets better. I am so fortunate that I have managed to dismiss any temptation to take another pain pill, I've very little cravings and stop them as soon as they start. If I had to count the number of times I wanted a pain pill it would be about 4 and those were times where I just wanted numb myself from reality. It has been months since I've even thought about them.

    The last two week were rough because of the loss of my Father. I am so grateful that I was off the meds and past the withdrawals. I know if I was taking the meds I may not have made the trip to be with my Father during his last few hours. I would of regretted that the rest of my life. i look back on those days taking the pills and they were such a nightmare, I was so cooked and living a minute by minute life of total misery.

    I look back at the way I acted and can't believe it, it just wasn't me and the things I did and bought are so over the top. When I first took the pills I thought I found a miracle cure for all the pain and life stress, I couldn't have been more wrong. I remember praying that I could take them the rest of my life, I felt that good. That feeling only lasted a short time and then it became a game of chase, I chased the feeling and caught it ever once and awhile, what a huge price to pay for such small window of comfort.

    I now understand how powerful pain pills really are and what they do to a persons mind and body and it's a complete tragedy - hands down!

    I pray and hope for everyone working so hard to get away from pain pills and stay away from them they succeed. It is so worth it and is such a shame we must go through this. I can tell you from experience it's not easy and it takes quite a bit of time but its something most people can accomplish.

    Take it until you make it and never give up!

    Kind Regards,
    E
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  26. #326
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    E sorry for the loss of your father. I must have somehow missed that post. I am so glad you are doing well and have a great outlook on handling everything. There is so much positive when we have a clear mind.

  27. #327
    jeffro6527 is offline Member
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    Efil-
    I have not posted on your forum before but just wanted you to know I have followed your journey closely and I look up to you the way a kid looks up to a pro athelete You inspire me and help me find the courage to keep going.

    I know that is merely a consolation prize considering the pain you must be facing losing your father, my deepest condolences. I guess the point is that whever he is I am SURE he is proud of you and how much you care and help everyone, including us complete strangers.

    You are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Your pal,
    Jeffro

  28. #328
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    E
    I am so sorry for your loss..
    But knowing you are dealing with it in real time
    With
    Real feelings has got to be empowering..

    Getting clean ironically ....was the easy part..
    This life on lifes terms is hard sometimes..

    But you are doing you living free! ..
    Thank you for sharing you journey with us here!

    Take care
    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-27-2015 at 06:44 PM.

  29. #329
    julienchris is offline New Member
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    I wanted to see if a follow-up was made. Are you ok still??

  30. #330
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Soon it will be 6 months in:

    Checking in with an update

    Things on all sides have greatly improved, all sides meaning all sides of me, mind and body.

    Clarity in mind is great and it feels great. My emotions are back, happiness, excitement, drive and sadness for real reasons and dealt with normally. My relationship with my Wife, Son and others is much, much better. I feel greater romance and love.

    Body aches are gone, except the normal aches from exercise or heavy activity.

    Energy is back and it feels deep and real, not induced, its stable.

    Paranoia
    Depression
    Nervousness
    OCD -- Counting pills, watching the clock, counting the days and so on...
    Panic
    *** The above, are all gone, these I felt while taking the meds and some time after quitting.

    I will soon post a message how this whole situation has effected me, my life and the people I love.

    Kind Regards,
    E
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