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DAY 1 through DAY 10 going COLD TURKEY
  1. #331
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I know you are doing great..
    You learned through this process
    humility
    That is what it takes..

    We have a plan right here that works..
    Most of us come in and try and reinvent the wheel..
    But Eventually we surrender to something greater than ourselves !
    And
    We succeed One Day AT Time!

    It is hard to explain this thing called living life on lifes terms..

    I call it connected..
    I am aware of my behavior
    How it affects my life
    And the lifes of others in my life..

    Even the people around me
    Are
    Affected by my attitude and my behavior!

    Today we are responsible for our recovery and the foot print we leave on this earth...
    Each day ...
    And when we leave 4-ever..
    I am grateful that you Mr E
    Have come into my life..
    With such commitment and integrity..

    Thank you for sharing
    Your
    Experience
    Strength
    And hope ..


    Take care
    Bette

  2. #332
    Scottthewonderer is offline New Member
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    Hey mate besides the pain which can't be dealt with too much I was pescribed a blood pressure/anxiety med which worked wonders, I just hate that part of it and the no sleep, and it worked wonders for me, that was the baddest thing of it for me, I came off a year methadone at 40 mg and jumped at 33, your heart will feel the adverse effects for longer after the pain and this mes works wonders, in Australia it's called propranolol, really hope this was of help and hang in there mate your doing real well. Wish you all the best in your recovery. As much as it seems you want done with it like I did I know you will make it through. What your doing takes a lot of guts mate.
    Your a star

  3. #333
    Scottthewonderer is offline New Member
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    @iluv2smile, truer words have never been spoken, great positivity

  4. #334
    jeffro6527 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Efil Pleh View Post
    Soon it will be 6 months in:

    Checking in with an update

    Things on all sides have greatly improved, all sides meaning all sides of me, mind and body.

    Clarity in mind is great and it feels great. My emotions are back, happiness, excitement, drive and sadness for real reasons and dealt with normally. My relationship with my Wife, Son and others is much, much better. I feel greater romance and love.

    Body aches are gone, except the normal aches from exercise or heavy activity.

    Energy is back and it feels deep and real, not induced, its stable.

    Paranoia
    Depression
    Nervousness
    OCD -- Counting pills, watching the clock, counting the days and so on...
    Panic
    *** The above, are all gone, these I felt while taking the meds and some time after quitting.

    I will soon post a message how this whole situation has effected me, my life and the people I love.

    Kind Regards,
    E
    Well done E! 6 months is awesome!!!

    I am 50 days clean today!!! Still having some ups and downs but for the most part I think I am well on my way to a more fulfilled enriched existence. Sounds like you are as well

    Congratulations E, keep it up buddy and know your fan club always loves your updates!!

    Your old pal,
    Jeffro
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  5. #335
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Damn. Im on day 2. I have s long road. :\

  6. #336
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    I read this whole thread yesterday, been through this many times myself i know the stages of withdrawals. Mental part is always hard. But the OP of this thread did a good job in holding on. He was on away more higher dose than I was. I was on 10mg hydro 3 times a day. And i can relate to him by a lot. Tired of running out early why weeks, tired of counting pills . Tired of Dr. Visits. Tired of loosing everything. Hehehe..... typical story here. I'm always fascinated by how we have allowed to make this into a medicine. There's got to be other less addictice pain medicine doctors can prescribe . These opiates are given or too easily. I honestly wished i never had a wisdom tooth extraction. That's what started my pill consumption. But what's done is done. Now time to move forward. For any new ppl going through wd or will stop soon, give loperamide a shot. That always helps me tremendously. Good luck everyone.

  7. #337
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    Hey E -- I just wanted to let you know that your posts have been an inspiration to me. They helped me when I was in the bad physical stuff, and they're helping me with the (admittedly harder) long game. I am so impressed by your fortitude, your positive attitude. You seem like a really cool guy to boot, I imagine you have a lot of stories to tell.

    I do have a question, though -- how do you plan to talk to your son about drugs? How will you impress on him how dangerous they can be? Do you have any ideas about that at this point?

  8. #338
    Paulyhadthepink is offline New Member
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    1 year clean today! This thread not only helps those getting clean, but staying clean. I'm happy to see 6 months for you E.
    Efil Pleh likes this.

  9. #339
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by finallydoingthis View Post
    Hey E -- I just wanted to let you know that your posts have been an inspiration to me. They helped me when I was in the bad physical stuff, and they're helping me with the (admittedly harder) long game. I am so impressed by your fortitude, your positive attitude. You seem like a really cool guy to boot, I imagine you have a lot of stories to tell.

    I do have a question, though -- how do you plan to talk to your son about drugs? How will you impress on him how dangerous they can be? Do you have any ideas about that at this point?
    finallydoingthis,

    I’m happy you found value in my posts, its nice too know by sharing my experience and knowledge gained during the process it provides support for you and others.

    Speaking with my Son about drugs:

    I started communicating and educating my Son about drugs when he was 9 years old. I spoke about legal, illegal drugs, over the counter and residential and commercial products used by individuals to get high.

    Once I explained the differentness of where people obtain drugs, I explained how they got them and why. Some were prescribed the drugs by Doctors, some through drug dealers and others stole them from family and friends and several other strategies’.

    We talked about the different types of drugs (including OTC) and what they were used for and how they can be abused. This conversation also included street drugs, designer drugs and the unknowns sold on convenient store counters and the Internet.

    After providing a foundation of information I began to speak with him about the effects drugs have on the mind and body, good, bad and tragic. I spoke in detail of how narcotics and other scheduled drugs, along with street drugs worked within the body and what they were actually doing to the body and mind.

    I explained the term, being high along with the negative things that happen to the mind and body to reach the high, what happens when the is gone and what happens long-term. I also provided the definition of the term / label “Drug Addict”

    Then we spoke about the bad and very bad things prescribed and illegally taken drugs can do to peoples lives, along with specific incidents and accidents (including overdose death) that happen everyday. We spoke about the law and how drugs can lead to being arrested, losing jobs, being kicked out of school and losing family and friends.

    I placed special attention on the types of drugs and where they may show up in his life at current and moving into middle school and high school.

    Peer pressure
    Cool kids doing drugs
    Girl’s using drugs
    His friend’s parent’s medicine cabinet
    Family
    Strangers

    Once I felt he had good understanding of all that information I started to speak with him about Pharmaceutical companies and how the United States takes more medications (drugs) then any other country. I spoke with him about the relationship between doctor’s and Pharm companies.

    I explained to him based on my opinion that doctor’s prescribe medications way to irresponsibly and way to quick. This fit in with conversations I’ve had with him about knowing a little bit about as much as you can, things specific to normal life and what you are most likely to encounter. Have some knowledge of what is being given, recommended, prescribed, told or sold to you.

    I tried to position the conversation of drugs so I had the best chance of two-way communications. I didn’t want to talk at him; I wanted to speak with him. I didn’t want him to feel like I was thinking he is going to experiment with drugs and I need to stop it before it starts by talking stern at him.

    I knew starting off with scare tactics would have little long-term effects, it would only provide him with the result and not the how and why.

    I gave him a solid block of information with facts and by the time our conversation’s diminished I knew he comprehended the key points and now had in-depth knowledge to access when faced with drugs. I believe he will make the right decision using this knowledge rather just saying no and not knowing why. This is now his decision, not something he was told to do or say with no substance or validity.

    Our conversations happened over a period of time, there were many conversations. I provided him as many aspects as I could so he would take interest in one or more and ask questions, which he did. Over time he kept coming back with questions about many different topics within our talks.

    I know the first pay-off from those conversations and teachings came when he was 10 years old. He was over a friend’s house and there were 3 pills sitting on the kitchen counter (parent’s at work, baby sitter outside on her phone). His friend suggested they each take one and see what happens, his friend then got two bottles of water, picked up two pills and tried too hand my Son one of them. My son refused and began to explain to his friend what could happen. Then he explained what most likely will happen if the pills were narcotics, especially at high milligrams. After a few challenging comments from his friend and educated response’s from my Son the friend agreed and adapted the mindset of, man I’m glad we didn’t take those pills!

    Then his friend asked my Son, how do you know so much? My Son said, My Dad.

    That was the pay-off and it was awesome!

    This all came out when the friend put the pills in a plastic bag and gave them to his Mom when she got home, he also explained what happen between him and my Son. Obviously you know what happen next, the phone call from her to my Wife apologizing and explaining. After a period of time we found out what those pills were. They would have done serious damage too both children, possibly even killing one or both.

    The pills were narcotics!

    Sincerely,
    E

  10. #340
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    POST: FRIDAY MAY 8TH 2015 @ 5:50PM

    179 DAYS IN:

    During the first few weeks of posting here several smart people told me the acute withdrawal period was the easiest. The knowledge I had at that point was built on research, nowhere near the knowledge I have gained from experience.

    When told the acute withdrawal period would be the easiest I tried to get my mind around that statement while personally in a state of the unknown, scared and building myself up for what was coming my way. I gained enough knowledge through research that I created a mindset that the chances I would die from this are very slim. I used that mindset and compared it too the mindset of what could happen abusing opiates, which demonstrated a moderate too high chance of death.

    I was mentally prepared to the best of my ability at that time but was still not convinced the physical acute withdrawals would be the easy part.

    Once the acute withdrawals started to subside, really subsided I looked back and thought, that was pretty bad and at some points incredible bad, but not life ending or to the point of hysteria.

    I state (really Subsided) because there were days I thought it was over, it wasn’t and returned worse then days prior. Finally!!! After quite a span of time it ended, it was gone and did not return.

    I also stated “not to the point of hysteria” – the reason I never reached that point is because I educated myself on what was going to happen which created real expectations and a general understanding of what I was going to feel when it got bad. It wasn’t unexpected, I didn’t think, OMG I’m going to die.

    A few months later I knew the statements made to me about the acute physical part being the easiest were true.

    The following chapter is a bit more complicated. It comes with issues and challenges that don’t have such specific and identifiable symptoms. They are deep seeded and don’t have remedies that produce immediate results or the feeling of progress that comes in a timely manor, at least not in a recovering addicts opinion of a timely manor. Most addicts have been programed to receive immediate results after doing something to alter their mood, feeling and outlook.

    We remember taking a pill and 45 minutes later feeling great!

    My mind would of continued to search for that immediate remedy unless I changed my minds behavioral thought process; it had become a habit for my brain to expect the instant fix. It takes persistence and repetition of practiced mental conditioning to change and stop the mind from repetitive expectations of an instant flood of induced dopamine to make it all go away.

    The challenges and issues I was facing that my mind was so desperately looking for a remedy to eliminate were the feelings of emptiness, absolutely no energy and completely fatigued, everything was totally out of alignment with my physical being. I felt like a stranger in my own body.

    The largest challenge and issue I faced was mental, the feelings of sadness and depression and being lost. I was in a depressed, lagging and constant miserable state. I was carrying an abundance of mental luggage that I knew must be released. The whole situation was formulated on real emotional and physical components that needed addressed individually in each category. I also knew they needed addressed in the proper manor and possibly the correct order for a valuable and lasting outcome.

    Then something happened!

    The most significant and valuable event that may happen in a one’s life!

    To be continued…..

    Sincerely,
    E.

  11. #341
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    First off--congratulations on your day 179 (actually 180 now!). Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about once the physical symptoms subside. The analogy I use is childbirth (sorry). We know the pain is acute but the end is in sight. HOWEVER, with recovery there's a lot more work to do once the physical stuff passes. The happy ending continues to be a work in progress and that progress continues with each new epiphany. An enlightenment. We need to be mindful of them and appreciate them and most of all remember them. My recovery tool kit.

    I'm left in suspense of your recent epiphany so please share soon. I am glad that a light bulb went off or something wonderful happened. Those moments need to be cherished.

    Peace,

    Cat

  12. #342
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    E. I fully can relate the mental part you described. Imo that the worst and dangerous part. During the day, triggers get your mind to remember taking pills and feel awesome in a few minutes. Then you crave it and remember the good awesome energetic confident feeling it gave you, then depression sets instantly because you know you won't get that no more. You feel out of place, hopeless,sad and don't care about the future. You hate everything. Lol. It's just the process the brain goes to break that thought conditioning. As you add more days, you break that mental cycle little by little. Takes a lot of time for sure. I'm on day 10. And already feel slightly better mentally.
    lucaonthe2ndfloor likes this.

  13. #343
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    How you doing E? I hope you're well. Just wanted to again let you know how much of an inspiration you've been to me.

  14. #344
    Bkfromtbay is offline New Member
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    Hey everybody I've always read these forums and am so happy I can actually get some info myself. This is my personal addiction: I've been taking 5-8 30mg roxys everyday for about 8 months now and I've lost so much is such a short time. My girlfriend, the love of my life loves me so much and I can't do this to her anymore it's killing me and everyday I have to hide it from her and she attends college about 2 hours away so she's not always with me so it's easier to hide but she's coming home for good next week and I'm done. I'm going to do this I don't want to do these damn pills ever again in my life and I just want to know how long w/d will be and how bad will they be from my high dosage? And also the worst symptom for me and I know a lot of others too is the restless leg syndrome. I get it in my arms and my legs and in my chest and feels like my whole upper body is on fire and I have to keep convulsing and moving around to keep from wanting to get up out of bed and just walk. It's so hard to lay still and the day is a little better but the nights are so bad that I havnt been through more than 1 1/2 full nights before relapsing. But I'm done. I told my mom and she's going to be here at the house with ne for the most part and I know no matter what I won't give up I love my girlfriend so much and will not lose her especially over a damn pill and want my awesome happy life back without having to have something to make me sleep every night and without having to come up with some money every day and I want to be able to save all my money. I'm serious about this and won't give up just wanted to know if anybody has any tips/ tricks or remedys that will help me get through this cold turkey I would appreciate it so much!
    Thanks everyone let me know what you think My name is brandon . God bless everybody

  15. #345
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bkfromtbay View Post
    Hey everybody I've always read these forums and am so happy I can actually get some info myself. This is my personal addiction: I've been taking 5-8 30mg roxys everyday for about 8 months now and I've lost so much is such a short time. My girlfriend, the love of my life loves me so much and I can't do this to her anymore it's killing me and everyday I have to hide it from her and she attends college about 2 hours away so she's not always with me so it's easier to hide but she's coming home for good next week and I'm done. I'm going to do this I don't want to do these damn pills ever again in my life and I just want to know how long w/d will be and how bad will they be from my high dosage? And also the worst symptom for me and I know a lot of others too is the restless leg syndrome. I get it in my arms and my legs and in my chest and feels like my whole upper body is on fire and I have to keep convulsing and moving around to keep from wanting to get up out of bed and just walk. It's so hard to lay still and the day is a little better but the nights are so bad that I havnt been through more than 1 1/2 full nights before relapsing. But I'm done. I told my mom and she's going to be here at the house with ne for the most part and I know no matter what I won't give up I love my girlfriend so much and will not lose her especially over a damn pill and want my awesome happy life back without having to have something to make me sleep every night and without having to come up with some money every day and I want to be able to save all my money. I'm serious about this and won't give up just wanted to know if anybody has any tips/ tricks or remedys that will help me get through this cold turkey I would appreciate it so much!
    Thanks everyone let me know what you think My name is brandon . God bless everybody

    Hey Brandon,

    My apologies for such a long reply but reading your post I realized you’re a young adult and have many important things to do ahead. You have someone you love and love’s you back, you have a Mom who will provide support while you help yourself. This will be one of the most important decisions you make and maybe the most important in your life.

    First:
    Congratulations, Great step reaching out for assistance on these forums, the other great thing you did is speaking with your Mom. Her willingness to help you through this awesome!

    You love your girlfriend and she loves you, nothing better then that!
    “All good stuff”

    I can tell you from experience and exposure through these forums the chances are very high, I would say 90% that opiate drug addiction will absolutely ruin your relationship with the person you love so much and loves you back. Your timeframe to go through what you are about to go through is a bit short and includes added stress & pressure. The stress & pressure is fighting to get yourself back while trying to be on your (A) game when your girlfriend is in the mix.

    But, it’s something that can be done....

    My advice is to create a plan that includes as many aspects of recovery as possible. One of the directives within the plan should be (If this happens I will do this, not that) -- meaning when faced with an emotional challenge you go directly to your plan (which includes what to do in specific situations) and not the drugs. When faced with a physical challenge you go to your plan, not the drugs.

    • Completely understand what you are about to go through
    • Educate yourself on what will happen to you physically and mentally - Acute Withdrawals, Post Acute Withdrawals

    The physical part is the easiest to understand, it hurts and the minutes feel like days and in many cases it last for several weeks. In my opinion there are only 2 things you can do:

    1. Again, Educate yourself on what’s about to happen and what you will feel, understand the aches and pains, the uncomfortable feelings, the loss of energy and just feeling awful. If you prepare yourself chances are you will not be surprised when things happen, you will also trim some of the anxiety of the unknown and reduce reacting out of panic.

    2. Man up and tell and constantly tell yourself, if others can do this so can I!
    Take it until you make it and never given or give up!
    Get tough and stay tough!
    I owe this yourself and deserve to live happy

    In my opinion the best decision is, knowing, believing and living the mindset of I’m doing this for myself!

    Living as an addict prevents people from truly giving. Yes they can give “things”, but they can't truly give of themselves
    Addicts can receive “things”, but they can’t truly receive what others give of themselves

    • Your relationship with your girlfriend will require a lot of true giving and receiving, true giving and receiving of each other. That is where the relationship will start to come apart if you continue taking this drug.

    When I decided to stop the insanity of opiate use I said to myself I must do this for my Wife and Son, but what I learned was I must do it for myself and I kept reminding myself this is for me until it became reality. (Others will naturally receive the benefits as well)

    Deciding to quit for anyone but you will make it much harder and chances are it will fail. I say this because when people quit for someone else then themselves there are many let downs and many, many reasons to take a pill and become very depressed.

    Especially when the person (s) do not know what you are going through and even if they think they do they cannot comprehend fully unless they too have gone through it.

    Doing this for someone else or someone combined with you will create harmful thought processing:

    Examples:

    • I’m going through heck and trying so hard and He or She doesn’t seem to care that I don’t want to go to the party. He or She went without me! this is not working! Don’t they know I’m doing this because I love them; I’m doing this for the person I care about the most.

    • I can’t think straight, I’m in physical pain and have no energy, and don’t they get it? All this for the person I care about and I get this treatment, this is not working, why should I go through all this if it’s just going to come apart. This was a huge decision I made and this is the result?? This not working!

    There are so many more examples….

    The most important person in ones’ life should be them. I know that sounds a bit self-centered and like a all about me person. Its not, here is an example:




    Think about the parent that buys everything their kids want, they praise them or yell at the all of the time, they over protect and always side with them. Those people usually make the statements, I love my kids more than anything, there is nothing more important then my children, I would do anything for them and so on….

    If those parents had the mindset they were the most important, most likely the above behaviors would not happen while raising their children, whom they do love. They would of taken the time to make themselves the best they could be, they would of recognized they are the most important and by educating , conditioning and committing to themselves to be the best they can be their children would experience and learn intelligent and valuable life lessons with huge life-long benefits.



    Doing this for anyone else but yourself opens the door for some really ignorant thinking.

    We will rely on another person’s actions; comments and overall demeanor to measure the small steps of success we achieved in the process of becoming free from drugs. In return are minds-eye will see failure, producing ignorant thoughts that what we are doing is not working and not worth the trouble.

    We react to that emotion with anger, depression or relapse of drug use.

    The sad part is we worked so hard and spent so much all the while using the wrong way to measure our incremental achievements. It was like we used a windsock to measure the water in a lake!

    I believe the first part of removing this tragic addiction from ones life is to comprehend and realize the accomplishment will take working smart and understanding at the end of the day we only have ourselves to truly make this happen.

    • No one else can make this go away.

    It’s not as easy as saying I’m going to do this for myself and stop tomorrow. It takes self conditioning too include but not limited to: True self-commitment, the mindset of only you are responsible, learning how recognize achievement’s that are extremely difficult to see or feel and apply them to a sense of satisfaction, accepting the time it takes to become whole again, the commitment to rejecting requests to take on duties, correctly processing incoming counter-productive challenges and situations and keep the focus and energy on what you are working on until you reach a level of inner peace, peace within by only using what’s inside to create it.





    My recommendation:

    Start a personal thread on the forum:

    1. “Need to Talk” >>>
    The “Need to talk” forum receives 10X more activity, and a personal thread will be much more valuable, easier for you to reference and manage. Also, and most important the people who frequent that forum are very intelligent and experienced. Their value is priceless!

    2. Read the following threads in there entirety:
    (TolikG) thread
    (Jeffro) thread

    They will produce very different take a-ways.

    You are a young man with your whole life in front of you. Do not let drugs take that away from you because it will, but only if YOU make that happen. The drug is a choice in life that you and ONLY YOU may choose.

    Whatever the future holds for you, always remember when you look back it’s YOU who created the journey and result. Life’s challenges and situations keep coming, some tough, and some very serious; some dictate a path and some create life-long effects.

    The “Key” is how intelligently we accept them, how methodically we process them, respond to them and move forward.

    Take it until you make it and never give up!

    Sincerely,
    E.
    Randy35, jeffro6527 and cdog8043 like this.

  16. #346
    jeffro6527 is offline Member
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    Wow looks like I picked the right day to come back and check in!!!

    EFIL!!! so great to see you continuing to hero the battle in so many ways! If you ever publish all this into a book I am buying it for sure my friend!

    Brandon, I don't know your story (yet) but I hope you realize truly amazing advise when you read it. Efil, randy, cat, sadmommy, pauly and so many more (sorry to all you rockstars I am forgetting off the top my head right now) are the reason that I can come visit today and proudly say...... I am 77 days clean today Man it feels great to say that. I just got home from France and life is looking up in a way it NEVER did on pills.

    But you know what feels just as good as all that Brandon? To come back and see one of those rockstars reference your story, and in that moment you realize why this all works. Because we can all help each other in some way. To see that people admire anything about my story is a shock to me, because it was just my story...but now I see my story isn't even mine. It belongs here to this cause and to all these people who now need it more than me.

    The strength to endure this is in you. Everytime you feel afraid of it, stop and approach it from another angle until you can feel love driving you, thats how you will know your compass is pointed in the right direction.

    I will always be checking back, if you need me or there is anything I can do to help please do not hesitate to reach out. Brothers and sisters in arms against the demon.

    Your old pal,
    Jeffro
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  17. #347
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    In a few weeks it will be NINE months

    Life is good - No urges for pain pills, No Doctor visits, No pill counting, No ups and downs, No distorted thinking, No OMG I have 5 pills left and 8 days until my refill --- and on and on........

    There is no magic fix for the pain pill nightmare. Commitment, time, patients and determination make it possible to quit and when the time is right for the person caught in this life tragedy it will happen.

    Your life will return to normal and maybe even better - forgive yourself - don't live in the past or the future - live for the day and make every minute count.

    Kind Regards,
    E

  18. #348
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    You are doing it!

    Congratulations!

    You got this !

    If nothing changes
    Nothing changes..

    BUT
    With one change !
    EVERYTHING CHANGES!


    One day at a time!

    XXOO

    Bette
    Last edited by Anonymous; 07-20-2015 at 01:19 PM.

  19. #349
    Anonymous Guest

    Default To E

    I was searching through google and this thread popped up. I read all the way through your 90 days and decided to journal. I actually just signed up and posted it on this forum. Then I saw your name and got so excited that your still clean!!! Maybe me actually putting it on the internet will help me live a clean life. I know it will take a lot more than that too! I want to thank you for sharing your story. I'm hoping to be where you are. You gave me a lot of inspiration and hope.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 07-27-2015 at 06:45 PM. Reason: Adding

  20. #350
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    1000toomany,

    I posted on your thread

  21. #351
    jeffro6527 is offline Member
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    Efil!

    Hope you are doing well my friend. Just popped on real quick to drop some love.

    I will be celebrating 5 months clean in another week... so amazing isn't it? I feel AWESOME most the time now. If this continues to progress at this rate I can't even imagine how awesome my life will be in another 5 months, 5 years, etc etc. But I won't spend too much time thinking about that cause today is great and that is all any of us can ask for right?

    I know I say this often but thank you again so very much for inspiring me along this journey. You have helped me immensely.

    Take care my friend.
    Your old pal,
    Jeffro
    Randy35 and Paulyhadthepink like this.

  22. #352
    Paulyhadthepink is offline New Member
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    E,
    If I'm not mistaken, you just hit the 9 month mark. Well done! Tomorrow will be 15 months for me. It's great to hear you're doing well…it still gets better as you go.

  23. #353
    Paulyhadthepink is offline New Member
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    Jeffro,
    Great to hear your at the 5 month mark. I remember reading your thread 5 months ago. I could tell by your resolve you'd be at this point. Keep stacking those months together.

  24. #354
    JoJo05 is offline New Member
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    I started following this board back in December. I posted a few times back then. I went from dec 10th-feb 6th clean then relapsed and went back to my old ways. I was to hard to get back on this board cause I felt like a failure. Well I'm back due to the fact I picked myself up and now been clean for only 4 days. I guess we all start somewhere. I am a successful businessman that has a wonderful family, wife, daughter, and friends. I know I am lucky but never feel like I am. I am determined to do this, this time around. Prior doubts are gone. I went back and read what I missed and glad to see most people made it. E I was a month behind you in December and felt we were doing this together in some way. I truly let myself down due to me thinking I can eat one hear and there. Well I couldn't. I was back to full blown addiction in 2 months. I'm what you call a functioning drug addict with a supporting cast. You guys and gals keep truckin. I'm definitely doing this and it's mind over matter. A piece of advice...take a walk and rely on music. Helps me when I'm down and out. Good luck!

  25. #355
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffro6527 View Post
    Efil!

    Hope you are doing well my friend. Just popped on real quick to drop some love.

    I will be celebrating 5 months clean in another week... so amazing isn't it? I feel AWESOME most the time now. If this continues to progress at this rate I can't even imagine how awesome my life will be in another 5 months, 5 years, etc etc. But I won't spend too much time thinking about that cause today is great and that is all any of us can ask for right?

    I know I say this often but thank you again so very much for inspiring me along this journey. You have helped me immensely.

    Take care my friend.
    Your old pal,
    Jeffro

    Thanks Jeffro -

    We did it and it does feel great - Life is actually better, better then even before starting the pain pill tour. It was a life lesson that made me a better person, a better person for myself. I'm not as flashy as I was prior and the best part is I don't have that desire anymore, I don't need things to fill the void. The void was filled by being smacked down all the way to the bottom - in that place I realized I was completely alone, no one could reach me, there was nothing to reach, I was left only with myself.

    I realized where I was and worked hard to change my mindset and see that place as an opportunity, an opportunity to learn how to rebuild my inner being, who I am, the spiritual and more. It took along time to get back, back up as who I always was but never could be. I was never satisfied - always searching - moving my goals to higher levels prior to even reaching the goal in front of me - I hit the goals but was so focussed on the next goal that I didn't even feel the accomplishment.

    The worst part I failed too enjoy the journey, the life between goals, the real fulfillment in life.

    I just bought the iPhone 6 while knowing the new iPhone is just around the corner. It didn't matter, I am satisfied, I don't need the latest and greatest because I am the latest and greatest. I mean that in humble way, only I can see, feel and experience that, its not something someone would see or recognize, its just for me -- my past need for outside approval or praise has almost gone away. "Almost" LOL

    While in the middle of all that rebuilding I was missing the part I just described in the above paragraphs and YOU were the person who opened my eyes too see / find that missing part. YOU posted about finding your spirituality (not religion) but your purpose, inner-being and so on. That was what I was missing in my rebuilding process. That part took me many hours, days and months to understand, educate myself and learn how to apply.

    Thank you too - 'Very Much"

    Sincerely,
    E

  26. #356
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
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    Hehe... i was on day 2 when i posted onthisthread. I'm on day 110. Feel so much better. Had my very first strong craving today but it's been along time since i had any. I managed to clear my mind and feel better. Life is better for sure. Worth the pain of the mental wd.

  27. #357
    JoJo05 is offline New Member
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    Day 13 and have no energy at all, with depression and anxiety. Can someone please tell me it gets better!?!? It sure doesn't feel like it. Will never go through this again. Was a 7 year user who quit in December for a few months and went back. Was eating perc 30s between 5-8 a day. The first 5 years was just vic 1000 mgs. Man this is never ending. Thanks for any support and/or advice. How do you guys, who are sober for awhile, fill this void I'm dealing with? I've been staying as active as possible with exercise and have been eating healthy. Just can't shake this hole I feel I'm in. Have everything I want and need in life and feel empty and again absolutely no energy.

  28. #358
    big pharm is offline Member
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    JoJo, day 13 is a huge accomplishment. Think of it this way, rehab centers are 28 day programs for a reason. It takes 28 days to form a habit. You JoJo are Damn near halfway to forming a wonderful and clean habit. Stay strong and fight. To me the most important aspect of all this is a POSITIVE attitude.

    WE ARE NOT LOSERS, WE ARE NOT SLAVES, WE ARE NOT FAILURES, WE WILL FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT AND WIN !!

    Be my hero JoJo.

  29. #359
    big pharm is offline Member
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    Hey efil, I see its been about 10 days since your last post. Hope you don't mind if we take over for you ? I don't mean completely, I know you will be back.
    Efil Pleh likes this.

  30. #360
    JoJo05 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by big pharmsux View Post
    JoJo, day 13 is a huge accomplishment. Think of it this way, rehab centers are 28 day programs for a reason. It takes 28 days to form a habit. You JoJo are Damn near halfway to forming a wonderful and clean habit. Stay strong and fight. To me the most important aspect of all this is a POSITIVE attitude.

    WE ARE NOT LOSERS, WE ARE NOT SLAVES, WE ARE NOT FAILURES, WE WILL FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT AND WIN !!

    Be my hero JoJo.
    Thank you! Day 16 and still dealing with severe anxiety, depression has lessened but legs are no longer jumpy but extremely sore. Definitely doing it this time. What doesn't kill us definitely makes us stronger. Mind over matter is so true but tough sometimes when down and out. Thank god for Donald Trump!! Watching him as actually made this a bit easier! Hahaha!
    Ladyblue1866 likes this.

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