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DAY 1 through DAY 10 going COLD TURKEY
  1. #91
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeTang View Post
    I will not hijack your thread but just want to say how excited I am to hear you are doing better. My use was since I was 45 and I am now 54. Similar in milligrams to yours. I cut way back to half then today I took 3 ten norcos and now am totally out. I have been tapering for 5 days and went from 150 mg a day down to 75 then 60 etc today I am doing 30 then I am done. I heard it helps to taper but not sure. I have tried to quit many times one time making it 10 days. I am so afraid of the pain. I have been in withdrawals the entire 5 days that I tapered. I have also lurked on this board for a couple of years but have never posted until today. Please keep us posted even if it is just to help me get through this. I promise you are helping many they are just lurkers like I was.
    I will stay posting. Stay strong and stay the course.
    E.

    You are not Highjacking OUR Thread, keep it live and keep posting.

  2. #92
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyeben05 View Post
    Almost have 4 whole days in and I feel like I'm past the worst. Today I still feel like I got the flu and body still aches but feeling much better. I am only sleeping for a couple hours at night but hope that gets better. These posts have been a life saver checking in has really helped me a lot. ���������������� �������
    Don't let the bad days get you down, they may happen again, they will pass, mine did and so will yours. I am anxoiuse to read what you post next.

  3. #93
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-19-2014 at 02:35 AM.

  4. #94
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    Its now EIGHT DAYS
    Tuesday @ 6:00PM

    I look back at the years I took those nasty pills and remember so many times sitting alone thinking I had mental problems and justifying my thoughts by thinking of things that happen to me in the past or things I had done. These things were bad! Really? They don’t seem so bad now that I can think straight. (8 Days Clean)

    One of the warnings on the medication should be:

    This medication may make you believe you are a bad person with mental issues, it may also make you think strange thoughts about your life and yourself and get totally hung up on them.

    This medication can destroy relationship, cause job loss and result in jail time. This medication can cause self-destruction and result in financial hardship along with leading to additional medications to combat side effects.

    This medication may cause you to seek therapy for the thoughts you have and become worse mentally because of the way you act at therapy, which could lead to a lifetime struggle with who you are.

    For all the other side effects please join a prescription pain pill addicts forum. Addiction with this medication may start when the first pills is taken and last for years or result in suicide.

    Not recommended
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    E! WOW!
    I'm sitting here reading your thread and have to tell you that you did the amazing.
    I'm tapering Subs so I'm in a whole different boat (sinking ship at times, but I digress!).
    I had to do a snapshot of the above cause it made me laugh and cringe, it fueled my resentment that I ever needed pain pills in the first place, and it makes my head spin that I took that first dose of Suboxone without ever doing my homework. Stew much...noooooo, not me. I'm trying too hard to be positive!

    There are way too many points I want to touch upon so suffice it to say that I have the utmost respect for you. I wish you could go viral with your experience. Think of the souls it might touch.
    Like you, and most of us here, know, this is an epidemic of tragic proportions.
    I have a pounding headache (you know, can BARLEY type right now!!!) and when I feel like this I generally just read the posts, buy I HAD to comment here!

    Your son is one very fortunate young man.

    We all have a journey and a purpose during our lives and from this experience we are profoundly and forever changed. Would we want to give that up if we could erase our addictions and subsequent victories if given the chance? How would that change the people we became once we came out on the other side of darkness and into the sun?

    I'm 5'7,
    curly brown locks that have lost some of their bounce,
    big brown eyes that have a circles under them,
    And an overall appearance that is not nearly up to my old standards!!!
    I hope that when this is all said and done that I have a desire to wear my skinny jeans again (and somewhere that I actually have a desire to go while wearing them!) and not live in my scrubs long after I've come home from work...eeewww.

    You get what I'm saying! Just wanted to let you know how much I've taken from your thread.
    Oh yeh, I'm gonna keep coming back.
    Iluv2smile and Iwantoff2013 like this.
    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

  5. #95
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    [QUOTE=Iluv2smile;447520]You are definitely helping others!
    I am to the point in my life where I am grateful to be an addict..
    All the misery and pain I have brought onto myself has given me so much insight and empathy for others.
    I would not change that for anything!
    Reading your thread and how insightful and wise you are comes from struggling and it provides a richness in life that many " normies" never experience!
    We can make a difference in our children and their children's life by doing exactly what you are doing one day at a time!
    We have to do something... and maybe just maybe this may be our purpose!

    This epidemic is killing millions... while others only wish they were dead!

    So please keep sharing and allowing us to experience something rare in the world of addiction..
    The support and successes in this thing called .. Recovery!
    I am proud of you and happy to have met you ...even it only in cyper space!
    I will check back later



    58 yrs old
    5ft 3
    Blond/ brown hair
    Blue eyes
    1 son w/ my 1st granddaughter
    I daughter with my 2nd granddaughter
    A Career that I love as a RN
    Team Taper Member!
    LeTang and Had enough I hope like this.

  6. #96
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    Bette, you've made my self-description seen so superficial!!!

    I think E. has started something here!

    Thank you for the smile my Friend.
    Iluv2smile likes this.
    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

  7. #97
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Day 9
    10:17AM

    Many people have posted to me stating they have been on this site for a long time but hardly ever post, they just read. My addiction almost eliminated my interaction with others; I would actually avoid people even when I was at the 60-minute mark after taking those pills.

    What I would do is read and self analyze what I had read and get it all twisted up in my mind without even realizing I had twisted it, or read deep, deep into it and then get paranoid and on other occasions depending on the subject matter it helped but only for a short time.

    Point is this addiction places people in a social bubble and you become only with yourself, and believe me, stuck just with yourself on this drug is not a great place to be!

    Getting off this drug opened many more doors than are spoken about on a regular basis, some of which are lifesavers of just living and enjoying yourself. Interaction is a core standard and necessity of being a human.

    E.

  8. #98
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    Deleted by self
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-19-2014 at 12:14 PM. Reason: reposted

  9. #99
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Day 9 @ 11:14AM
    Wednesday

    I feel yucky, not terrible but yucky, my legs are heavy and achy, my body is achy and I am freezing. I did sleep last about 8 hours, that’s great. It took awhile of tossing and turning and getting up and down many times. Still taking the vitamins and bowl control medication, its needed.

    Last night I went to a Birthday Party, Uhg,, but really wanted to go. It was my Brother in-laws Sons 9th. I lasted about an hour and half and did make conversation well, but once I left I was done, just wanted to get home. Luckily they just live two doors down so it was walk I needed.

    Today is cloudy and cold 65 degrees, don’t like that! Given most of you and almost the entire country is freezing that comment doesn’t hold much value. Still Freezing ☺

    Today is better than the past, still not great but better.

    I have not lost my determination to free myself from those pills. My memories are so bad that each time I think of them, which is rare, meaning I rarely think of them. I know I felt worse than I do now during my final two years if use. I am determined and will never go back to where I was, I can’t or everything I went through and everything I am about to rebuild will be for absolutely nothing. My plan is just not to get off the pills, its to get a life again and be who I once was, who I am and accomplish what I had and will again, soon.

    So what if I have another few bad days!

    E.

  10. #100
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    Angry

    Wednesday @ 1:13PM
    "DAY NINE"

    I AM ABOUT TO BE FACED WITH A HUGE WILL POWER TEST!
    Maybe this could be called closure?

    We checked are credit cards about an hour ago as we do once a week, we look for ant charges that do not make sense. THERE WAS A CHARGE FROM THE PHARMACY date yesterday Nov, 18th. The charge was the normal amount for my refills!

    NOTE:
    I had spoke with the pharmacy and doctor and explained I no long want pain pills and to not in my file. Guess what, they will be here this afternoon, 120, 30mg Oxycodone.

    I am very nervous right now but more mad.

    I will let you know what I do with them. One thing is for sure I will not take them!

    Really Mad, :[
    E.

  11. #101
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Continued from last post:

    Such bad feeling right now and stupid habits return, I started pacing and looking out the front window for the delivery truck, how messed up is that. I caught myself and never looked out the window again.

    I called the pharmacy, they called me back, I told them what are you doing? They apologized and told me to refuse that package and it would go back to them and I would get a refund. I'm debating on sending them back or taking a hammer and smashing all of them on the patio and then washing them off with the hose? That may make me feel even better and worth the $47.00!

    Either way they are not going in my month.
    LeTang likes this.

  12. #102
    LeTang is offline New Member
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    I am so encouraged by your determination. I made it 17 hrs and then borrowed a 5/325 vic from my neighbor it was just enough to calm down a little. I sure want to do it. She wanted to give me more cause I looked so terrible but I just took one. I am so afraid of going through this that I am in actual FEAR. I am determined to stop just haven't figured out if I am going to taper or just cold turkey. These things have ruined my life. I no longer work (spent nearly 25 years in financial institutions) I have a great husband who is caring and will help me any way he can. In the last 5 years since I started taking large amounts I have been in a coma for 6 days (dr. couldn't figure out why I was having breathing trouble) I had a Massive Stroke, was paralyzed on my left side for an hour and a half until they administered a tpa and within a half hour of treatment I was able to talk and move. I have missed so much with my family due to these stupid pills that I WANT MY LIFE BACK just need to get over the fear. My daughter is having a C-section on Monday the 24th I want to be a good grandma, an interactive grandmother, not the "oh honey I am sorry I cant watch them I am sick grandma" or maybe even return to work. Sorry if this is rambling.
    Long Brown Hair
    54
    Happily Married
    as of Monday 6 Grandchildren
    What more could a woman want than her life back!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 11-19-2014 at 03:44 PM. Reason: added

  13. #103
    LeTang is offline New Member
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    Feeling pretty awful even after taking 5mg

  14. #104
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeTang View Post
    I am so encouraged by your determination. I made it 17 hrs and then borrowed a 5/325 vic from my neighbor it was just enough to calm down a little. I sure want to do it. She wanted to give me more cause I looked so terrible but I just took one. I am so afraid of going through this that I am in actual FEAR. I am determined to stop just haven't figured out if I am going to taper or just cold turkey. These things have ruined my life. I no longer work (spent nearly 25 years in financial institutions) I have a great husband who is caring and will help me any way he can. In the last 5 years since I started taking large amounts I have been in a coma for 6 days (dr. couldn't figure out why I was having breathing trouble) I had a Massive Stroke, was paralyzed on my left side for an hour and a half until they administered a tpa and within a half hour of treatment I was able to talk and move. I have missed so much with my family due to these stupid pills that I WANT MY LIFE BACK just need to get over the fear. My daughter is having a C-section on Monday the 24th I want to be a good grandma, an interactive grandmother, not the "oh honey I am sorry I cant watch them I am sick grandma" or maybe even return to work. Sorry if this is rambling.
    Long Brown Hair
    54
    Happily Married
    as of Monday 6 Grandchildren
    What more could a woman want than her life back!
    I can totally relate to your story as can many others. It's all in the mind (that is so easy to say) but it's true. In my case I am done. We have endured for so many years and to know that physical freedom is only 6-10 days away and the rest being mentally strong. I have done drastic things to make this happen because if I didn't my life would have been over and while on the pills I didn't care, many times I wished it was, seriously.

    My mind is getting me through this and believe me I feel bad right now, as I type, but not as bad as I did days ago and I can only tell myself it will get better. Even the way I felt when going through the worst 2-3 days it still wasn't as bad as when I was on the pills, reason, because it was real.

    I was willing to pay for what I had done to myself.

    Sitting knowing there are 120 pills on the way give me even more strength to prove to myself I can do this. Those pills will never touch my hands and will be gone as fast as they arrived. I didn't go through 10 days of this to go back to felling like a complete zombie with demented thoughts while killing myself and destroying everything around me.

    You have to do this for you and nobody else.

    People say I never want my kids, family, whoever to deal with or see me on or going through withdrawals and I need to do this for them so they have me. Really, NOT! Its human nature, deep inside we need to realize our deranged thoughts and take them on head on. Nothing will happen until we do it for own self. When the plane is in trouble you put your mask on first so you can help others.

    Problem is when fully addicted and stuck we can't see ourselves worth anything so we say we have to do this for someone else we love, if we were not all messed up we would be doing it for ourselves. This is not the same as choosing who gets rescued first from a burning home and giving up your turn for a loved one knowing you will die, they aren't in trouble, their life will go on, ours will not!

    10 Days, 30 Days or even 40 Days is nothing compared to the rest of your life with the people you love and love you.

    Kind Regards,
    E.
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  15. #105
    LeTang is offline New Member
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    Awesome response to my post. My husband and I really want to travel in a few years when he retires I can never do it in the shape I am in. Still have effects from stroke even with the TPA and I know Devil Pills aren't helping. I really do want my life back for me. I have no pills in my home at the moment and my script wont be ready until 24th. I do not plan to refill. Not sure if the 5 mg set me back but it really didn't help much. I am in so much pain but no that this too shall pass. I am at 2 hrs since 5 mg taken and 20 hours since I took the last 10mg norco in my house. I know this gets worse but am doing my best to prepare mentally. I do have clonidine but haven't taken it yet but read a lot about using it for withdrawals.
    My regular use was about 150 mg of oxy and norco not as much as you but definitely hard to come by. Oxy was NOT prescribed so I really want out before something devastating happens. Please let me know how script delivery goes. Will respond if not in too much awfulness. Having a hard time typing already and I am at the beginning.
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  16. #106
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeTang View Post
    Awesome response to my post. My husband and I really want to travel in a few years when he retires I can never do it in the shape I am in. Still have effects from stroke even with the TPA and I know Devil Pills aren't helping. I really do want my life back for me. I have no pills in my home at the moment and my script wont be ready until 24th. I do not plan to refill. Not sure if the 5 mg set me back but it really didn't help much. I am in so much pain but no that this too shall pass. I am at 2 hrs since 5 mg taken and 20 hours since I took the last 10mg norco in my house. I know this gets worse but am doing my best to prepare mentally. I do have clonidine but haven't taken it yet but read a lot about using it for withdrawals.
    My regular use was about 150 mg of oxy and norco not as much as you but definitely hard to come by. Oxy was NOT prescribed so I really want out before something devastating happens. Please let me know how script delivery goes. Will respond if not in too much awfulness. Having a hard time typing already and I am at the beginning.
    Cancel the refill and finalize the relationship with the prescribing doctor, it's the only way.

  17. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Efil Pleh View Post
    Cancel the refill and finalize the relationship with the prescribing doctor, it's the only way.
    These are just all situations that we must choose to respond and not react. Read what you wrote. Listen to your heart. Leave the excused behind and the pain will go away. I write to u from the bath thst I have been in here for an hour. My family us doing well without me for now. They will get the best of me for the rest of my life. That's the greatest gift that will last longer than any pill. Clonidine I heard helps a ton. Just like any other medication it could be addicing. This isn't easy but worth it. I've noticed so many good things come my way just in the 3 days I've been clean. Yes clean! OMG I'm clean! Do what's best for ur soul not your addicted diseased mind. It takes different choices to get different results. Put your trust in the universe. Ask for help and u shall receive it. Praying for you all xxoo
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  18. #108
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    10 Days, 240 hours in:
    Wednesday, Nov, 19th @ 6:00PM

    Today was a bit rough, my body ached, my legs were bothering me and I had no drive or energy, just wanted to lie around, yuck! The weather was cold and rainy so maybe that had something to do with it.

    I’m not a 100% and most likely will not be for some time but I know the time will pass, slow or fast, it will pass. I think about later this evening and trying to sleep, maybe I will and maybe I will not but I will be me. If I was on the pills right now I would be holding my head in my hand asking myself why I feel so bad and why am I doing this, it would be and emotional mess and a physical disaster. So, I’m much better off the way I am right now.

    I may right in my journal about what a bad day I had wishing I wasn’t addicted to pain pills and could just live normally, but instead I’m hear with all of you wonderful people pushing through this huge life challenge giving and taking advice. "Together"

    During my years of education I learned it took 21 days to change a behavior, that is if the participant was willing and able, so I figure being willing and able it will take me 21 days to change this behavior.

    I figure once the physical addiction part is over I will add 21 days to give myself a goal to change the behaviors associated with the addiction. I must first recognize them, write them down and create a plane to change each one. If I can follow that at 75% then I have a great chance of being totally free and myself once again.

    I’m so anxious for the physical part to be over, its much better but not yet completely over.

    This does take some work but it seems we are afraid of the physical part which requires dedication, commitment and will power. The physical part prepares us for the behavior change, which includes any cravings. In my case, which may not be the norm but I have recognized two parts and now will do my best to finish this thing off soon.

    E.
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  19. #109
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    It's 9:52PM on DAY 10

    Today and tonight were rough, rougher than I would have expected. I am not the least bit tired and my whole body hurts. Maybe its because I haven't done any type of activity at all, I pretty much spend the day in the house and just sit around. I'm also eating to much.

    I'm worried about this coming Friday. Everyone leaves for Thanksgiving vacation, I will be all alone with no family or friends for 10 days, boohoo I am just not up to going to my Wife's Grandmas 1400 miles away and dealing with 20+ people around a table every single night

    The car ride alone would just wipe me out!

    O'well, My Birthday and Thanksgiving alone, I can do it, LOL

    Back to watching TV
    E.

  20. #110
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Skyeben05 what's up?

  21. #111
    Iwantoff2013 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by butteflylove View Post
    These are just all situations that we must choose to respond and not react. Read what you wrote. Listen to your heart. Leave the excused behind and the pain will go away. I write to u from the bath thst I have been in here for an hour. My family us doing well without me for now. They will get the best of me for the rest of my life. That's the greatest gift that will last longer than any pill. Clonidine I heard helps a ton. Just like any other medication it could be addicing. This isn't easy but worth it. I've noticed so many good things come my way just in the 3 days I've been clean. Yes clean! OMG I'm clean! Do what's best for ur soul not your addicted diseased mind. It takes different choices to get different results. Put your trust in the universe. Ask for help and u shall receive it. Praying for you all xxoo
    Hi there. Just wanted to clarify. Clonodine is not addictive. It's a blood pressure med; non-narcotic. It helps with hot/cold flashes and anxiety during WD.

    Take care.
    Kat

    PS - E: good to see you're doing alright and hanging in there. You'll be feeling so much better very soon. I'm a little surprised you're still feeling icky this far out. Hope you get some sleep tonight

  22. #112
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    10 Days and 6 Hours in:
    Thursday 12:07AM

    Like I said earlier today was rough feeling pretty bad all over and tonight I can't sleep, my legs are hurting pretty bad. The nose running, eyes watering, sneezing, chills and the rest are gone. It's the body pain that is hurting, my whole body hurts. It's just tough getting around. I hope this stops soon and I really would like to sleep tonight.

    Tomorrow, sleep or not I am going to force myself out of the house and try doing a few things.

    E.
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    E,
    Are you taking an OTC around the clock right now. Try alternating them (Tylenol and >>>) every 6 hours if your stomach is sensitive.

    You won't be alone for Thanksgiving and your birthday cause we are all here celebrating and cheering you on...TRUE!

    BTW, you can leave a note on the door for the UPS guy! Hope the package is already on it's way back!

    Hang in there!
    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

  24. #114
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gratefulforfina View Post
    E,
    Are you taking an OTC around the clock right now. Try alternating them (Tylenol and >>>) every 6 hours if your stomach is sensitive.

    You won't be alone for Thanksgiving and your birthday cause we are all here celebrating and cheering you on...TRUE!

    BTW, you can leave a note on the door for the UPS guy! Hope the package is already on it's way back!

    Hang in there!
    Thank you for the kind words Gfina,

    I take Tylenol twice a day (2) Tabs.
    Good point on the UPS Guy, the note will be written as soon as I stop typing, Thanks!
    E.

  25. #115
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    Day 10
    Thursday @ 7:26AM

    No sleep last night, none, very disappointing. I still have considerable leg and body ache. I'm not discouraged, just disappointed. One day at a time, everyone is different. Really, after 6 years of pounding that junk how could only take 3-5 days. Thats what I keep telling myself.

    E.

  26. #116
    Fubar7 is offline Junior Member
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    E,
    Your journey is so inspiring. Ive been trying to quit for years but havent made it i havent stopped trying and wont give up until i do.
    I constantly read peoples success stories o here and think "why cant I do it!!!"
    For me the physical gets bad but doesnt bother me, its the war in my head that i cant seem to win. I am 20 hrs in to yet another wd and my mind can think of nothing else.
    People always say you have to want it more than anything else, of course i want it!!! This mental torture is just more than i can take. You mentioned in one of your earlier posts that its not like the movies, for me some of it is. I feel like im going crazy in my head, i have the devil and the angle constantly fighting on my shoulder driving me to neae insanity and both of them will shut up if i just take a pill, but i dont want the pill, how to i shut them up??? I cant read, watch tv, sleep, anything at all that is enough of a distraction for them to go away.

  27. #117
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    5 Hours away from 11 DAYS in:

    I was wishing for the 1-6 days, 3 & 4 being the worst. Not in my case, the last 2.5 days have been pretty bad. The symptoms are:

    Major Bathroom Issues
    Heavy Body Aches
    Legs Always Hurt
    Feel Generally Terrible All Over
    Somewhat Down

    When will this let up?
    E.
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  28. #118
    Skyeben05 is offline New Member
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    6 days 12 hours and still clean

    Thanks E for checking on me been busy at work. Today Thursday has been tuff I alaways feel like throwing up and body still aching. But I keep telling myself it will get better and I have not had a pill is almost a week. yah yah reading and checking in on this post has been wonderful fory success and recovery. Yesterday got a little depressed ok a lot depressed feels like I will be sick forever and in pain. I'm going to the gym after work with my wife hopefully that will help with everything. I've been eating tums like crazy!!!!
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  29. #119
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyeben05 View Post
    6 days 12 hours and still clean

    Thanks E for checking on me been busy at work. Today Thursday has been tuff I alaways feel like throwing up and body still aching. But I keep telling myself it will get better and I have not had a pill is almost a week. yah yah reading and checking in on this post has been wonderful fory success and recovery. Yesterday got a little depressed ok a lot depressed feels like I will be sick forever and in pain. I'm going to the gym after work with my wife hopefully that will help with everything. I've been eating tums like crazy!!!!
    I am so happy to hear you are on your way to life. Great Job!

    I'm sorta stuck and I think I know why, I'm not working and stay at home all day thats just going to prolong getting better, I think? Now for reality - I don't feel like going anywhere. I have not worked for almost two years and my wife doesn't work so its been kinda boring and the whole time I was just a mess on those pills.

    Thank God we saved money for a rainy day!

    Keep posting your success gives me strength.

  30. #120
    LeTang is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
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    10

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    Feeling so awful I can hardly type Congrats on day 11 I have taken 2 more 5mg from neighbor. Not taking away massive wd's but making it easier. Don't know if I am hurting it or helping it. Cant wait to say 24 hr 48hr 72hr etc. Le

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