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DAY 1 through DAY 10 going COLD TURKEY
  1. #211
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    May help someone?

    Pain Relief without Pain Pills / Drugs:

    http://www.health.harvard.edu/specia...gs-and-surgery


    Today was good. Went to the beach with my Son, spent 2 hours lounging around in the sand, then went to an Oceanside restaurant for lunch. 82 and sunny

    Sorry, Northeasterners!

    I say a good day but not nearly back to normal, its just going to take time, determination and effort. Doing these activities requires a constant push from myself. I him haw around for quite some time before actually leaving the house. Once out I feel okay, still hurting a bit but manageable. I’m guessing this will continue for the next 30-60 days?

    Everyday is an improvement. I’m not discounting having bad days in the future; I guess its preparing for the worst and being surprised by the best. Not quite the quote in form but it applies to this journey.

    I have settled in with Aleve, it seems to work the best. There are problems with OTC pain relievers and they can even produce withdrawals. I have taken the maximum allowance of one or the other OTC pain reliever for many days but have cut down over the last 4 days. I believe there is another helping aspect of taking the OTC pain relievers and it’s the action of taking the pill, it almost replaces the pain pill popping. The positive is it’s so much easier to replace with some other action such as a one-day vitamin. Just a thought! Maybe I will go with Jelly Beans, HaHa!

    Regardless of how we beat this disaster and as long as it’s good for our minds and bodies and as long as we just do it and never give up!

    “Wacked Out”

    Anyone wacked out on pain pills, like I was, just know, it is doable to be able to quit, I am proof! The fear of the unknown is the worst when doing anything. Everyone fears the unknown but with effort of preparation, research and the commitment to yourself to quit you can do it!

    The most important is the decision to quit. Not the thought but the decision, an irreversible decision is a must. That doesn’t mean you have to quit the minute after you make the decision but it means you must start preparing and learning. Major life changes may be necessary; in my case they were absolutely necessary.

    I was not going to give my life to a drug, prescribed by a doctor in my case, but really what’s the difference? Its still a drug and I was still addicted, I was a junkie! What a great title, Junkie!

    So not cool, so not public and so not me, or you, for that matter

    No one was born a junkie (don’t get technical on me) but really how many of us were born a junkie, none! We worked hard to become junkies, gave up allot and live or lived a total disaster. Is that really who we are? No. I know easier said then done, but the point is it can be done. When you’re ready and only when you’re ready!

    So reading this you may say, Man I’m ready, then all you have to do is make that decision and follow with the next steps best for you.

    Kind Regards,
    E.
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  2. #212
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 30 IN:
    Monday, Dec, 9th, 2014 @ 7:40AM

    Okay so yesterday?

    Morning was good; afternoon rough and evening was okay.

    I’m sure I had something to do with a rough afternoon; I had several cups of coffee and a Red Bull, HaHa, Messed Up!

    I did clean the kitchen and have aspirations to cook, workout and buy a boat. That’s good huh? I also have surfed the Internet for a job, whoooof, it’s been along time since I have done that! Sixteen years to be exact, but this is what pain pills will do to you, they will completely trash your career.

    I worked at one company for 14 years with only promotions and accolades. I had the best career anyone could ask for. Traveled on my own schedule, managed my own time and got results. I hope and pray I can get that back somewhere else. I know I will have to work my way up and in but I will give it all I have, if I choose to join the corporate world again, if not I will open another business.

    I already know what I want to do. I also have gained 6 years of first hand experience, see there is always a positive in a negative but would not recommend going through this to find the positive.

    Anyway as you can see my posts have gone from detailed withdrawals to optimism and a productive thought process. Many people on this forum kept telling me everyday will get better and you got this, to all of them I own much and hope someday I can repay you for your unconditional support and help.

    I still have discomfort and low energy but it is getting better everyday. I cannot stress enough, if I can do this so can you! My addiction was nasty and heavy and out of control, period

    The most important part of my stoppage was the decision, preparation and planning, plain and simple, and then a whole bunch of will power and the understanding the withdrawals will pass.

    The way I felt yesterday afternoon will pass too.




    Some levity:

    Do not quit blind, use your mind and you will be surprised of what you find. Seek support and never abort, stop soon before you end up in court. It will only get better as time goes on, if you don’t I’ll tell your Mom!

    I’m at 30 days, toady. Did I think I would get here? Yes. Did I think I would relapse? No. I would have to jump through hoops and go through so much to even get pain pills; I have set my surroundings to support just that. Making the decision to quit is the first step and the most important but I cannot stress enough how important the education, preparation and planning is as well. How does anyone quit with a few pills hidden, I guess they have just not made the decision, yet.

    I was determined to quit and I am no one special. I’m not the kind of person that plans, I live for the moment and the day, so this was a huge change for me but I knew if I didn’t do it all life would have been over for me and the people I love. It was not easy and continues each and every day for who knows how long, probably a lifetime.

    I leave you with this ----- Find a way, make the plans, prepare and commit to your decision, when you’re ready of course.

    E.
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  3. #213
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Another great post, E!!! Keep plugging along. You're helping SOOOO many others. The employment situation will work out and you know that. Sure did for me when all thoughts were negative at the time I lost my amazing job due to this disease. But I eventually found an even BETTER opportunity! I'm happy, content, and my bills are getting paid - ON TIME FOR ONCE!!!

    WE CAN DO THIS - ANYONE CAN!!!!

  4. #214
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Wow 30 days...
    you have come so far!
    i hope you go back and read your thread periodically
    It is a great tool to use if those moments of maybe just one come along!
    You documented your journey so well..
    We should have a Guinness book of clean addicts!
    Because it is definetly the exception to those of us with this disease..
    But there you are ..
    Helping others and keeping it for yourself at the same time!
    Who knew!!!
    Thank you for sharing
    Bette/iluv
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  5. #215
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    Hi E,
    Still following your success!
    Just wanted to way congrats on 30 days.
    Can you believe it. One month. Sanity returns.
    Keep posting. It is obviously helping you and countless others.
    Efil Pleh likes this.
    Peace!
    Beth/grateful

    "Let our lives not be trapped by circumstances, and may love and redemption prevail"
    As shared by my good Friend, Kat!

  6. #216
    goodday17 is offline New Member
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    Hi E,
    I think you're incredible for continuing to post your journey. The information and inspiration is what's keeping me off oxy today! Thank you! Congratulations on your freedom and continued recovery. I'm on day 7, 5 hours away from day 8. Last night was extremely hard to deal with the pain and my mind trying to convince me to take "just one" 5mg oxycodone. It would have turned into five after taking the one I would have said I caved so let's try and get high. The only thing is I don't get high anymore and spend my time like many watching the clock for the next chance to chase the high. I was using 30-60mg a day for six months after 3 surgerys. I was tired of counting pills, counting days and watching the clock. Also, I was at a point where I was contemplating going outside my doctors office to get the pills. I said enough, I'm done, I'm out of this game!!!
    Reading everyone's jouney has been the reason I've made it this far!!! I will continue to read for inspiration.
    All my best!!! Xoxo
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  7. #217
    BiscuitBobos is offline New Member
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    Hello E and everyone else. congratulations on your 31 days!!! All of us here know that 3 days is a lifetime in this 'business' and 31 days is an eternity. I decided to take the jump 3 weeks ago. I am on sub maintenance now 2mg a day. I know the day will come to taper off of this and IMO the lower the dose, the better. I came across your thread last night late and stayed up half the night reading it all... Almost feel like I know you! You have inspired me and many others I have no doubt. Like someone said already...there are many lurkers here just reading and not posting but have been following along with yours and other journeys. I have always been one to read and never post, until now, I felt the need to join in for once. Something about your journey has touched me sir. I've been on the fence back and forth for weeks now of wanting to quit and commit to it and deep down not wanting to stop. Even knowing how much I've lost and put my family and others through, the pills had ahold of me too in that awful grip that doesn't care a lick for any kind of reasoning or reality check. It's almost been worse these past weeks on the sub, wondering what if I could use it to control my nasty perc habit..wondering if I could just get high and speedy one more time...which we all know there is no such a thing as one more time..might as well be 1000 more times. I've spent all night reading your story and being in awe of your willpower and drive to continue on no matter what. The drive to beat this horrible addiction and get your life back. The strength it took to send the delivery man away..I cannot imagine how hard that was. Just knowing the grip these /@,$. Pills get on us, I would say it was one of the hardest conscious decisions you've ever made and sir, I admire you greatly. You also said it isn't just the desire to quit but you Have To MAKE THE DECISION TO STOP AND BE DONE FOREVER!!! How right you were and it struck home for me. There was no toying around with my meds and sneaking in a high here and there. I had to make the ultimate decision to STOP and COMMIT to that decision!! There was no going back and forth, no more agony every minute of the day because I still wanted my nasty pills. I had to decide and you inspired me and showed me through your story that you do have to make that decision...either do it or don't --there is no middle road in this disease. I decided in the early morning hours at the end of your story that I had to decide one way or another. And I sat thinking that if you and others can go through all that and still come out ahead of this disease, then I could do it too. You have me that last kick I needed to commit fully to recovery and to consciously decide to never ever go back down that road to hell again. EVER. I woke up this morning and happily took my full dose of sub and felt a peace inside of me that I havnt felt yet.
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart E and the rest of you sharing on this thread. I hope and am sure I am not the only one that has gotten strength from your story.
    Please keep back and let us know how you are doing.
    God Bless You
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  8. #218
    chelle080704 is offline New Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Efil Pleh View Post
    97 Hours in and this day was bad

    I wish I could report I felt as good as I did yesterday but no dice, today was rough --- aches all over, total weakness and just out of it. I believe not sleeping for 4 days has a much to do with it.

    I hope and pray I sleep tonight. I don't think I will take the zzzquil sleeping pills, felt every groggy and still could not sleep. I hope it gets better, I;m disappointed I don't feel as good as I did yesterday .

    I will report back soon

    Wow this an amazing thing documenting the whole thing. congratulations. Your legs are restless due to the nerves in the legs sending false pains so you'll give them their fix. The bathroom is also a nerve in the digestive system telling u to go so you'll give them a fix. Its all your body screaming for the drug. And weed helps. Well it helps me n my circle of pill friends when we are "sick". I haven't finished reading you posts but I'm sure if you made it to day five you gotta be clean.
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  9. #219
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Sensory reinventions or just becoming normal, again

    Last night while watching Top Gear I found myself laughing and thought about it. I realized I hadn’t laughed in a long time, I don’t really know how long but it’s been quite awhile. I recall thinking about it months ago for a split second. There are so many other sensory reapplying themselves to my life at current, I smell, taste and sneeze, things I know I didn’t do well or at all for many years. Just a thought!

    Cravings:

    So you may think to yourself does this guy ever crave the drug, does he have cravings? The answer is no, I do not crave the drug but I do miss the energy and when I do I think about that energy. It was energy but erratic energy, unnatural and most of the time it lead to reactive behavior and thoughtless decisions. I would drive around aimlessly with several destinations in mind which would change many times during the trip because I would stop for this and that and talk on the phone with people who did not have that unnatural energy and they would probably think what is that dude on?

    I would always say, lets do something when in reality I should be doing something completely opposite. Something responsible. Problem is when controlled by the drug no one could tell me what I was doing was probably not the best action at the time, I couldn’t even see it myself.
    I sure see it now!

    Energy:

    The energy was so intense that I was constantly bouncing but then again I thought I had greater sense of interest and focus. Not the case, I look back at what I tried to accomplish it was mostly unfinished directives. You may be right now thinking not me, I am cruising and you’re right you are cruising, cruising right by life in its natural form, the best form!

    I could and may have cleaned my house with a box of Q-Tips and a bottle spray cleaner but only during the induction stage and then once the drug got me that was over. Who does that? Drug addicts. HaHa, Wack O behavior

    Refusing to see and know yourself is huge when being managed by pain pills and seeing it is almost impossible. But if you dig deep even while on the pills you will see it, but then the pills will justify it for you and push forward to ruin your life even more. That’s what happened to me.

    Posting on this forum:

    I feel there are (2) apparent positive achievement’s that have come out of posting on this forum:

    (1) It helps others understand what can happen or not happen when quitting cold turkey after so many years of high dosages. This is my journey only and everyone is different, mind and body.

    (2) It helped me tremendously by being able to speak about my challenge and have dialogue with others as I documented my journey to becoming myself again free of opiates. Every time I post I feel as if I have people that I can talk with openly and unconditionally and that is golden in my book, so thanks again!

    The recent days have been okay, not great, just okay but I know they will get better and speaking of better these better days are much better than my best day on the pills. If you are reading this and say to yourself how could your better days now be better than your best day on the pills? Its simple those best days on the pills had such a high price and were subject to embarrassment, character suspicions and much more, plus I was high so who knew if the days were great or not. The days were most likely bad but the pills told me they were great.

    I can recall so many mess-ups on those best days, mess-ups I never saw, but see now!

    The only thing we can do when consumed by opiates is make the decision, commit to that decision and prepare and plan. You may not like the plan but it’s so important and even more important we create the plan, not someone else. People are harder on themselves than people around. Our plan will be the right plan and the best. That doesn’t mean you can’t accept suggestions, advice and other from people it just means the plan must be our own. Only we know what’s really going on and what really needs to be done.

    The plan will grow and change as your journey takes shape, its ever changing and maturing at least mine has been. I’ve changed the dynamics several times but the goal always remained the same. For example, I thought in 15 days I would be good, then I thought 21 days, now I’m thinking 60-90 days.

    Whatever it takes and never give up!

    Kind Regards,
    E.

  10. #220
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Efil Pleh View Post
    The plan will grow and change as your journey takes shape, its ever changing and maturing at least mine has been. I’ve changed the dynamics several times but the goal always remained the same. For example, I thought in 15 days I would be good, then I thought 21 days, now I’m thinking 60-90 days.

    This is a PROCESS and not an EVENT!!!

  11. #221
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 32 IN:

    Each day gets better, yesterday and the day before were okay /good and I feel today will be good. My body aches seem to be going away and my mind is getting sharper every day. Some energy, not much bit at least some has returned. The key is pushing yourself to get started. Once you are out and doing something your mind moves from having no energy to the activity at hand. Its mind over matter, at least that is what I'm telling myself. Thats the update at day 32,

    Forward:

    Smart minds that share this ordeal and view it as a process not an event, very true, I am going to take the definition of process as a noun that defines this journey and a series of steps to an end.

    Then I will look back and view this whole thing and an unfortunate event in my life. My thought process (no pun intended) is closure and forward life. I understand and know this may be a life long situation of process and progress and maintenance but what I’m going with at current is process and in the future as an event. I hope that makes sense? This is I and only I and I will work towards this goal, will I achieve it? I’m pretty sure but still prepared for a lifetime of maintenance and work if needed.

    I’m disappointed in myself and super angry at the pain pills, that combination, I believe has made it possible to have no craving. The added caveat of total disaster completes the nonexistence of cravings.

    Moving forward is the only option and placing this life event in the past and that is what I want to do. I do not want to relive those days over and over, I want to recognize them as real, deal with them now and create new and better memories as soon as possible.

    The only thing that will make that almost impossible is what I chose to do as a living in the near future. If I open a place to recover, then packing those days away and trying to forget would be a disservice to my employee’s (team) and friends who come to achieve life once again.


    I never thought of it until today but after reading a very real post. I realized I chose the pain pills over my family. This is unsettling to think about and makes me even hate these pills more. Once you have passed the withdrawals you start to see things in a different light, but you must prepare yourself for this vision and know how to process and move forward. There is nothing you can do about the past but there are many things you can do about the future and if your lucky enough to still have the ones you love in your life you can create new memories, better memories that will offset the troubled past.

    If you are reading this and have not completely trashed your life and the ones you love then think about taking action to save what you will most likely lose in time. It’s not easy to do this, not at all, but its well worth it, I know, I did it thus far. There is still much work to accomplish.

    If I can do it so can you!

    When I first though about stopping the insanity I was confronted with the term of dual diagnoses and researched what it meant and immediately said to myself that is not me, there were other circumstances that affected my actions and behaviors. I thought my entire problem is the pills and once off them everything will be great. Not the case. I have carried issues with me for years, probably all my life. These issues need to be addressed and worked on.

    The issues are not major but significant enough to enhance my pain pill usage. I have no idea at this point on how or when but I at least know that a dual diagnosis is real and is applicable too me. I’ll bet the majority of pain pill addicts qualify for a dual diagnoses, just my opinion.


    If you are on this forum and reading this journey you most likely are considering quitting, do it if your ready and if not continue eating the pills, just remember if your life is not as bad as some of the stories you have read, chances are very good it will be. I hope you make the decision and commitment prior to total collapse.

    E.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-11-2014 at 08:24 AM. Reason: Added day count

  12. #222
    Anonymous Guest

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    Something I heard at a meeting last night. If it is to be it's up to me. Although we can not do it alone as we got ourselves to this point. It's still a decision we will have to make every single day.... a choice to choose to never give up on ourselves no matter what.
    Great job E.
    Addiction had control over you before but from the sounds of it you're the one in control now. It may not be easy but it is worth it and the experience of feeling the joys of life naturally is indescribable. Keep on keeping on E. Day 25 for me. Stronger faith and belief that God truly does make beauty from ugly situations. Stay strong as we continue to be so proud.
    K
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-12-2014 at 06:30 PM.
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  13. #223
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    THIRTY-FOUR DAYS RECAP:

    Preface;

    It started with an injury and progressed into a disaster over 6 years.

    First it started with many visits to Chiropractors, Orthopedic Surgeons and more, finally after six months I ended up at a Pain Management Doctor. He examined me, looked at the records and X-rays and immediately prescribed pain pills. It started off with 10mg Oxycodone’s. That lasted about one year, and then it went to 10mg, plus 20mg Oxycontin. About a year later it went up again and this repeated until it was 30mg Oxycodone four times a day and 40mg Oxycontin 3 times a day.

    My mental started with the first pill, I thought okay this took away the pain but made me feel a bit out of it, then I tried again and again which lead me to feeling very good. I thought this is miracle medication and its doing much more than just getting rid of the pain. I told the doctor and he said not to worry you have real pain and you will soon feel just normal. REALLY!

    The medication worked great for a short period of time but would need increased and increased. During that time I thought am I becoming addicted and so, so what, I need these and all the affects I’m seeing are positive so why care about it. If I have to take these the rest of my life its okay with me!

    I also tested the waters during that period by asking questions to people and some of them had experience with pain pills and would tell me they know people that have to take them just to feel normal and some people have ruined their lives. I would think, not me, I have this completely under control and how could such a good feeling ruin my life, I must be different and that wouldn’t happen to me.

    The years went on and the disaster was immanent. It was like a building tidal wave was gaining speed and strength way off shore and headed right in my direction. The warning signs and sirens were going off all around me but the drug blocked my senses and kept me in line, in line of major denial.


    Then it hit, I felt terrible. So I went to my PCP doctor and told him I felt very down and very anxious and of course he prescribed me an anti depressant and a benzo’s for anxiety. I researched this and found these are very common ingredients for the recipes for just plain finishing ones self completely off. The combination of pain pills, benzo’s and anti depressants are widely and wildly prescribed by doctors. Unbelievable they do not know what they are doing to the patient, REALLY! Or do they?

    My stance on doctors has changed dramatically, I now know I must be one step ahead of them. I no longer trust them as I once did. It really disturbs me when the doctor comes in the room with script pad in hand ready to write!

    I ended up in a vortex of heck, it was like an amusement park of horrors, and every ride was a circle of the same, the same deadly disaster slowly taking everything away from me. I couldn’t get out of this park. The only thing I could do is taking more pills or quit. I took more pills for a long time and everyday was getting worse and worse, my mind was working on me hard, it was like the good guy on the right shoulder was fighting with the bad guy on the left shoulder every minute of every day. I was caught in the middle saying to myself what do I do?

    What I did was decide to quit, commit to myself, educate myself, create a plan and prepare for what was ahead.

    I set a date to quite, researched all options to get through the process of stopping, decided on which route to take, built a plan on how I would get through it and what life changes I needed to make to support that plan and prepared for the worst and prayed for the best. I also finalized my relationship with my Pain Management Doctor and Pharmacy. The doctors’ office said O, no you cannot just quit, and you must follow our 24-month tapper plan. I didn’t have 24 months!

    *** DAY 1-3
    These days were the days of the unknown and thinking the worst and experiencing not so bad. They were full of change, my body was changing, and my system was, I believe in shock.

    Emotions ran wild, up, down and all around. My thoughts were nostalgic, sad and just plain bazaar.

    Physical symptoms were growing in strength, the aches and pains were increasing and the sleep was completely gone, there was no sleeping.


    ***** DAYS 3-5
    All over the place is definition of those days; they were bad, really bad with periods of being okay. The waves of feeling terrible came and went and lasted from and hour too many hours but they passed and I did get some relief if only minutes.

    I was taking the Thomas Recipe and downing Tylenol, not over the recommended dosage but right there at the max. Hot baths were a must and staying warm was a huge challenge. The RLS was setting in and a constant, it was pretty bad, but I knew it would pass so I stayed focused and accepted everything that came my way. It was my mind that got me through.

    ***** > DAYS 5-15
    Is this ever going to stop?
    Day 5 through day 15 was rough. Sleep was very hard and any type of sleep aid just made things worse for me. I did have a 4 day supply of Xanax from my Mother In-law which helped but didn’t help, they helped me sleep but made me feel bad the next day and the sleep was just 3-6 hours at max, so I stopped taking them and dug in. All the symptoms were very present during those days and I dealt with each one. I also stopped the Thomas Recipe, I felt all of those vitamins were contributing to me not sleeping and that was what I needed most. It was rough but I kept telling myself it would pass and it did. What I did was eat, take hot baths and take OTC pain relievers as directed.

    ***** > DAYS 15 – 25
    Still, is this ever going to go away?
    It was hit or miss during this period, the days could be okay with medium size waves of awful but they seemed to be fewer and further between. Sleep was returning in small doses and my mind was clearing day by day, I could see light at the end of the tunnel. I was still in the tunnel and it wasn’t pleasant but I could see the light, the light of just becoming 50% and I took that.

    ***** > DAYS 25-34
    Day 27 - 34 or there about I came out of the tunnel and the sun was shinning and warmed my sole, I could feel things in a consistent manor, I could rationalize my thoughts and had “very” small spikes of energy and ambition. It continues to grow each day and the future looks to be livable and I’m not feeling worthless, hopeless and depressed. I feel as if I worked toward a second chance at life that I will gladly accept and cherish!

    Never give up!

    E.

  14. #224
    JoJo05 is offline New Member
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    Followed your posts from the beginning. On day 5 and these posts have helped me more than anything. I felt to tired to type the first 2 days and still having trouble sleeping. I don't have any cravings (which I thought I would), so that's good thing.

    All you guys have been very supportive with no negativity. What I notice is, it's mind over matter. Keep it heathy and it will keep you happy.

    Thanks so much guys

  15. #225
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 36 IN:
    Monday Dec 15th, 2014
    @ 3:45PM

    The last few days have been a struggle with low energy, being down and feeling super full. Today I went a got some Gas-X which has helped. I believe its caused by stomach shrinkage during the pain pill days. My eating habits were far and few, meaning I did not eat much. The pain pills have different affects on different people, mine was losing my appetite, and others have increased appetite. I know most would like less appetite but is worth trading your life?

    Anyway the Gas-X has helped. I thought my snacking was causing unwanted bubbles within, this is caused by gastric shock and may be common once through the withdrawals? Usually air is formed in larger bubbles and released but when your system is accepting all kinds on new food the air spread around in small clusters of bubbles which produces a very, very uncomfortable feeling of bloating and just feeling terrible which has been me for a few days, yuck! I brought this up incase anyone else is experiencing this or may experience in the future when you quit taking the pain pills!

    When I stopped the pain pills I started eating fruit and way too much, so that in it-self was a major contributor. Since I noticed the bloating I have been using the Vita-blaster / Bullet or something like that to liquefy my fruit and making some pretty tasty drinks, really want to add a shot of alcohol but no can do, at least not yet and not in the morning. Haha!

    I have created some very good recipes which I will try out (with alcohol) if I can muster having anyone over for the holidays. Since I have no friends at current it would have to be relatives and I have no problem getting them all tuned up because if their not tuned up they do not speak, just sit there and look at each other, really they do!

    I will establish new friends once I have energy and drive back, that part is really bothering me! I will just wait and try everything in my power to get it back. Exercise may be looking up now that I’m not carrying around a belly full of bubbles, Haha!

    Gas really blows --- no pun intended!

    Most of the withdrawals feeling are gone. I get a small does of the body aches in the evening but nothing compared to 20 days ago. One Aleve and all gone! Also the OTC pain relievers have been reduced to 1 a day for the most part and I hope to eliminate them all together soon.

    I must keep telling myself I have wrecked myself for many years and a few weeks is not going to get me back to normal, it will take months. I hope within a few weeks I will at least be to the point of feeling up for long periods of time. Regardless, the feeling I have now is real and much better than on the pain pills, for sure! I regret ever accepting that path and letting it get so out of control, it was my doing and I am the only one who can place it in the past and move forward. I will never forget, but I refuse to relive over and over. There were some pretty terrible things that happen during that period but I have accepted them and now only look forward, well the best I can at current but every day they become more distant and will eventually become a selective memory.

    For all of you still caught in the worst place you will ever be, know there is hope and a way to get out of that death trap. You probably can’t see it at current but soon you will see there is absolutely no future in pain pills.

    When the time is right for you, you will start the process of stopping the insanity and regaining your mind.

    The drug is producing all of the thoughts you are experiencing, the drug has you fooled just as it had me fooled. I’m not depressed, life is not over, I am not worthless and tomorrow is not hopeless, the drug is all that and will continue to be all that forever!

    Unfortunately you are sitting right seat or Co-pilot. The controls are right in front of you all you need to do is get rid of the Pilot and become the Pilot!

    Never give up!

    E.
    Iluv2smile and whoopitoo like this.

  16. #226
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi E
    Congratulations...
    You are indeed a miracle ...
    Just a thought are you sure the "gas" is not cardiac?
    Heart angina which is chest pains can feel like that..
    Especially because who know what was going on in our bodies during the drug consumption?
    Plus fruit and vegetables produce gas too..
    I think it is a good idea to a complete work up with our drs after we have been clean for 4-6 weeks..
    Take care
    Iluv2

  17. #227
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iluv2smile View Post
    Hi E
    Congratulations...
    You are indeed a miracle ...
    Just a thought are you sure the "gas" is not cardiac?
    Heart angina which is chest pains can feel like that..
    Especially because who know what was going on in our bodies during the drug consumption?
    Plus fruit and vegetables produce gas too..
    I think it is a good idea to a complete work up with our drs after we have been clean for 4-6 weeks..
    Take care
    Iluv2
    Excellent advice as usual, Thanks

    I wills schedule a doctors appointment and do just that, Mom, Haha!

    Sincerely,
    E.

  18. #228
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Day 37 in:

  19. #229
    whoopitoo is offline New Member
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    I feel ya! Sunday was my last pill so I haven't had any Monday and today is Tuesday I'm beginning to fill the nagging in my stomach and some diarrhea, but I got to stomach this because I want off this stuff, and have a normal life again I have so much to live for with retirement next month. Thinking of my plans is helping with focusing, but the urge comes right back to haunt me sooner. So I guess this is almost 48 hours for me.
    Efil Pleh likes this.

  20. #230
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    Quote Originally Posted by whoopitoo View Post
    I feel ya! Sunday was my last pill so I haven't had any Monday and today is Tuesday I'm beginning to fill the nagging in my stomach and some diarrhea, but I got to stomach this because I want off this stuff, and have a normal life again I have so much to live for with retirement next month. Thinking of my plans is helping with focusing, but the urge comes right back to haunt me sooner. So I guess this is almost 48 hours for me.
    Thats a great attitude. Feed your mind with all that good stuff when the urge washes over you!
    We will be cheering for yoU! Hope you start a thread to track your journey

  21. #231
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    45 DAYS IN:

    Each day is a step in the right direction, life has changed dramatically from the days taking pain pills. Life is much, much better and will improve more as time goes on. Stopping the medication was best thing I have ever done, the best for me and all around me.

    As we approach the New year I hope many others take this step and stick with it. Looking back at the most feared part of quitting, the withdrawals, they were tough but doable, believe me on the 20th day when you say to yourself I cannot take this anymore, you really can and it will improve.

    All I take now is 1 Aleve just before bedtime to take the edge off the pain and I sleep 8 hours uninterrupted. During the withdrawals I though I may never sleep again. But as members told me I would and I have and it continues. Life is back and I intend to hold on to it and get back to where I once was and do everything I can to stay there.

    Never give up and Take it until you make it.
    E.

  22. #232
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey E - You're inspiring so many! I'm happy for you and proud of you too! Hope you continue to post.
    -Randy
    Efil Pleh likes this.

  23. #233
    mzjones is offline New Member
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    Sir, first let me say I'm typing on a tablet so forgive any typos. I was on pain med for about 2 years. I was hurry at work and the dr went willy nilly on the scripts. Since the work comp insurance was paying, I was playing. . Dear god what a mistake! ! Fast forward--when the case was over, I was booted from pain management. No detox, not even a farewell. I had no ideas what I was in for. For about 4 months or so, I took to the streets to buy this >>>>. I had a "friend"that could find them for me Amy time of day or night. Soon enough I relized this was going to put me in the poor house. ..soon, so what did I do? I'll tell you ( I'm sure you're in the end of your seat. . Lol) I switch to methadone oh my god! I don't know if you know the procedure so let me enlighten you. the first thing they do is start you at a very low dose around 20 or so. Then they will increase it as much as you want them to. Fortunately I stopped at 60 because I notice my driving was suffering I was drifting off falling asleep and all types of foolishness that was impacting me more than I was willing to deal with. And here's the kicker when I step back and calculate it when I was spending, it was costing you $400 a month, unbelievable. So here we are its only been about 3 or 4 months and I'm detoxing. As we speak I'm down to 30 and I'm ready to jump ship. I read your story and I'm envious of the strength you have, as they say when I grow up I wanna be just like you. I don't think I'm going to wait until I get down until 0. I can't afford this and I don't want these chains anymore. I've decided on Monday to jump ship. On Monday I'll be down to 20 and just by reading a story after years of your suffering you can do it so I know I can. So yes your story has helped someone it's helped me and I want to say thank you. Wishing you the best wishing me the best wishing all of those like us the best. Mz JONZ

  24. #234
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by mzjones View Post
    Sir, first let me say I'm typing on a tablet so forgive any typos. I was on pain med for about 2 years. I was hurry at work and the dr went willy nilly on the scripts. Since the work comp insurance was paying, I was playing. . Dear god what a mistake! ! Fast forward--when the case was over, I was booted from pain management. No detox, not even a farewell. I had no ideas what I was in for. For about 4 months or so, I took to the streets to buy this >>>>. I had a "friend"that could find them for me Amy time of day or night. Soon enough I relized this was going to put me in the poor house. ..soon, so what did I do? I'll tell you ( I'm sure you're in the end of your seat. . Lol) I switch to methadone oh my god! I don't know if you know the procedure so let me enlighten you. the first thing they do is start you at a very low dose around 20 or so. Then they will increase it as much as you want them to. Fortunately I stopped at 60 because I notice my driving was suffering I was drifting off falling asleep and all types of foolishness that was impacting me more than I was willing to deal with. And here's the kicker when I step back and calculate it when I was spending, it was costing you $400 a month, unbelievable. So here we are its only been about 3 or 4 months and I'm detoxing. As we speak I'm down to 30 and I'm ready to jump ship. I read your story and I'm envious of the strength you have, as they say when I grow up I wanna be just like you. I don't think I'm going to wait until I get down until 0. I can't afford this and I don't want these chains anymore. I've decided on Monday to jump ship. On Monday I'll be down to 20 and just by reading a story after years of your suffering you can do it so I know I can. So yes your story has helped someone it's helped me and I want to say thank you. Wishing you the best wishing me the best wishing all of those like us the best. Mz JONZ
    Mz JONZ,

    This was the best Holiday Gift I could have received!

    I'm with you every step of the way.

    I know you can do this just by what you stated, your mindset and strength is present, dig in and tap the strongest part of your being and you will come out the other side. When it gets real tough so will you and it will pass. Believe me today is good for me and will be for you soon.

    Happy Holidays and Thanks,

    Kindest Regards,
    E

  25. #235
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    DAY 47 IN:

    Looking back reviewing the mindset that everyday it gets better could be a bit of a let down and disappointment? From my experience i would categorize the improvements in forward segments rather than days. Days are to short to gauge improvement, forward segments are more realistic self expectations and much easier to except. The segments depend on the person as does the entire process. In my case segments were weeks, each week got better once the acute withdrawals had completed the term.

    I can see as I approach week 7 my old excitement and energy is slowly coming around. I wanted this to happen as if a switch was thrown and the instant me would return one day. I kept waiting for the day I would wake up and feel good. After many weeks went by and that did not happen I had to look hard at what "did happen" and realize the very small steps my body had taken to come back online and once uncovered I retraced those days and found I had experienced some of what I was looking for, problem was I was still feeling bad and used a false comparison for gauging the improvements. The instant switches never occurred but improvements happen over weeks and at such small increments that I could have never seen or felt them happening. I can see them now.

    The point is this takes time and the timeline used with path targets can be disappointing if all data and history is not properly understood and applied, meaning time of use and amount. I understand the median target is about 7 days with 3-5 being the worst but in my case and so many others I have discovered on this forum this may not apply. People often ask why do I still feel bad after 30 days. The answer from only my experience is this takes longer and the magical switch we all look for does not exist.

    90 days still remains my target to be me. I may achieve sooner and that is welcome but if it takes 90 days then so be it, its way better than being caught in the death grip of those pain pills.

    Today I feel good, my emotions are truly happy and I have energy I thought may never come back. Many weeks ago I wrote I remember the days when I woke up and had a cup a coffee and felt good and ready to go. That has returned a few days ago and it feels great!

    If I can get here so can you. Use your mind to make it happen.

    Take it until you make it!
    E.

  26. #236
    mytime84 is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Efil Pleh View Post
    DAY 47 IN:

    Looking back reviewing the mindset that everyday it gets better could be a bit of a let down and disappointment? From my experience i would categorize the improvements in forward segments rather than days. Days are to short to gauge improvement, forward segments are more realistic self expectations and much easier to except. The segments depend on the person as does the entire process. In my case segments were weeks, each week got better once the acute withdrawals had completed the term.

    I can see as I approach week 7 my old excitement and energy is slowly coming around. I wanted this to happen as if a switch was thrown and the instant me would return one day. I kept waiting for the day I would wake up and feel good. After many weeks went by and that did not happen I had to look hard at what "did happen" and realize the very small steps my body had taken to come back online and once uncovered I retraced those days and found I had experienced some of what I was looking for, problem was I was still feeling bad and used a false comparison for gauging the improvements. The instant switches never occurred but improvements happen over weeks and at such small increments that I could have never seen or felt them happening. I can see them now.

    The point is this takes time and the timeline used with path targets can be disappointing if all data and history is not properly understood and applied, meaning time of use and amount. I understand the median target is about 7 days with 3-5 being the worst but in my case and so many others I have discovered on this forum this may not apply. People often ask why do I still feel bad after 30 days. The answer from only my experience is this takes longer and the magical switch we all look for does not exist.

    90 days still remains my target to be me. I may achieve sooner and that is welcome but if it takes 90 days then so be it, its way better than being caught in the death grip of those pain pills.

    Today I feel good, my emotions are truly happy and I have energy I thought may never come back. Many weeks ago I wrote I remember the days when I woke up and had a cup a coffee and felt good and ready to go. That has returned a few days ago and it feels great!

    If I can get here so can you. Use your mind to make it happen.

    Take it until you make it!
    E.
    hi...not sure if im doing this right but I really just need some advice...tomorrow will be my first day without subs...could truly benefit from someone whos made it through their self!! Thanks
    whoopitoo likes this.

  27. #237
    whoopitoo is offline New Member
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    Hi, I was addicted to norco's for over five years taking them daily getting up to 3-4 pills a day. I finally just quit cold turkey 12 days ago and to say i will never take another one in my life. I like the way I feel, still have the jitters but they go away very quickly. I do not have the urge I use to have in day 3, i feel so much better physically no drowsiness in the morning time after a dose of taken 4 pills the day before. I offer just quitting and taking one day at a time or find a support group, or go see your doctor, because some of us just may not be able to quit cold turkey unless you have the determination. I tip my hat off to you "E" you have been an inspiration for my completion of prescription drugs. I'm not into 30 days but 12 days lets me know that it can be done. Don't ever stop wanting to stop!
    Efil Pleh and Iwantoff2013 like this.

  28. #238
    justbeingme is offline Member
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    Congratulations. You are very inspirational. I'm not chemically dependent but maybe addicted to the addict mother of our daughter. When she is ready, I hope she will read this. Truly gave me hope for her. Thanks. Contrary to what you say. I believe you are someone special. Your misery had positive effects on people.
    Efil Pleh and whoopitoo like this.

  29. #239
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    52 DAYS IN & a New Year / New Life

    Everyday brings better experiences, happy, sad and challenging but all in perspective of real life. I take each one as it comes and deal with it head on turning each into a positive event. I'm happy to except the challenges with clear and sound mind. The delusions of pain meds mask the actual events and provide still-life episodes of lost time and memories.

    I welcome this New Year's Eve and all the fun that comes with it. I will share it with family and toast 2014 gone and 2015 here.

    I could look at 2014 as one of my worst years but instead I look at as one of my best years, the year I walked away from pain pills and all the devastation they cause.

    My hope is that many others can make this change in their life's and walk away too.

    Happy New Year
    E.
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

  30. #240
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I'm on day 2. Reading your posts is giving me hope . I feel like dying right now. Praying for sleep & to never feel my muscles this way again ! This sucks!!!!
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