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Day 11 of no suboxone. Looking for info.
  1. #31
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Beef, yes it's all normal I promise This too Shall Pass.. yup I didn't believe it either when all here keep telling me that but it's all true.. Guess what, what are you waiting for...your clean life is Now 25 days Congratulations Proud of You... Stay Strong for Today..

  2. #32
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Thanks lvg. It's been a roller coaster for sure. Not fun but good days seem to be coming more frequent. I know I still got a way to go and all that good stuff. Just trying to take it slow and not look too far ahead. One at a time. So not looking forward to this weekend. We got the GA Apple festival for the next two weekends so everyone comes into town to pick their own apples. Brings a bunch of out of t owners to be a pain in my butt. Can't wait. Lol. I guess that's what I get for moving to the Apple capitol of GA. At least it's only for two weekends though. I'm just upset I have to work on Sundays andi wwon't get to see my Buccaneers play. I guess I'll have to settle for sports center for two weeks. Have a great night everyone. The support and motivation is so helpful. All you guys are amazing. Thank you so much!!!!

    Beef

  3. #33
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Oh did I say I hate rollercoasters..ha...you help me to...takes time to heal from all the abuse.. live in the here and now...shhhh Im a Floridian but....go Jets...lol... Soon every day will be awesome... Stay Strong For Today...
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  4. #34
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Good Morning Beef!!

    You sound like you're moving right along in the right direction. The last of these pesky symptoms will soon be behind you. Real soon. The fog comes and goes but after all, your sleep still isn't as good as it could be. It's not bad for this point either!! At three weeks, I was just finally beginning to be able to sleep two or three hours in a row and sometimes able to doze back off but other times not. How can this not affect us? Of course it does. This part is just so gradual that it sometimes feels like we're never going to bounce back to whatever it is that we consider "normal". Make note of that word "normal" because I rarely use it. What's normal anyway?

    Stay busy today and the day will pass in grand order and there'll be one more day in the books. So proud of you so keep on fighting.

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #35
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey guys just about to head into work on day 27!! Feel a little bit better today. Didn't sleep much last night. Maybe a few hours here and there. But all things considered I feel ok. Not great not terrible. But I don't feel as depressed as I did over the past few days. Almost at a month and didn't think I would be able to make it when I started this thread. Can't thank everyone enough. I can't wait to put this all behind me. Thinking about getting some melatonin after work. Anybody have any thoughts or experience with it? Been taking valerian root for the past few days and it seems to be hit and miss. Just looking for something different maybe to steal a few hours and hopefully help with the fatigue. Thanks again for everthing would not have made it this far without everyone!!!! Have a great day. One at a time!!

    Beef

  6. #36
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Beef, getting a bit better each day eh.. you sound pretty good.. sleep is usually the last thing to balance out. You will have good days and bad days than more good days til it's all good.. It is all behind you don't look back keep moving forward. You can try some sleepy time tea can find it in the grocery store, Epsom salt bath magnesium is awesome to. It just takes time my friend, stay active definitely helps. Your right where you need to be... Stay Strong for Today..
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  7. #37
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Thanks lvg. Things are sllloooowwwwllllyyyy getting better. I just keep reminding myself where I was and it always makes me feel better. I'll give the tea a try tonight. See if it helps. I know sleep is the last thing to return and all the good stuff. Just glad to be here. Gotta get back to work now. All the outta t owners are here for the Apple festival. (Ugh) not gonna be fun over the next two days. Thanks again and have a good one!

    Beef
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  8. #38
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey guys today is day 28!!! Didnt think id make it 4 weeks. Depression is slowly fading feeling better every day. Got a little more energy but sleep is still spotty at best. Whatever i know its a process. Itll take a while. Just miss my sleep terribly. Gotta get back to work busy busy today. Thanks again to all have a great weekend. You guys are amazing.

    Beef
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  9. #39
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey your doing great as I see your still reading threads..I can now Promise you stay the course it works if you work it .. Stay Strong for Today..

  10. #40
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Thanks lvg. It's been an ordeal. But I'm so happy I'm here and on the road to getting better. Today is day 29. Still battling with myself every night to see if my body will let me steal a couple of hours. Tried melatonin sleepy tea, valerian root, magnesium, zinc. I just can't seem to stay asleep for more than an hour or two at most. I've gotten a few nights of 5 hours ish. But I can count them on one hand over the past 28 nights. I know sleep is the last thing to return and i feel much better but it just seems to make me more grumpy, anxious and irritable than I want to be. It's just annoying. Still have slight stomach issues and a few chills here and there. Depression is fading every day. I'm truly greatful and happy to be here almost a month clean tomorrow. Just want to get some dam sleep. So thankful for everyone on this site, listened to all my complaining and everyone's been so supportive. Thank you all so much!! Staying strong for today. Have a great Sunday to all.

    Beef

  11. #41
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Oh Beef, ordeal I know you read my thread I couldn't have whined anymore..yes I'm so grateful for everyone here that kept pushing me forward. Everything you are feeling is normal. Just keep doing what your doing one day soon you will going about your day not a thought about all this garbage..it's awesome you are also sharing your journey with others here. Proud of You... Stay Strong for Today..

  12. #42
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Thanks again lvg. Like I said earlier I would not have come this far without all of you guys. You all have been such an inspiration. I've made it through Ming and uncleleos threads and I'm about 17 pages into yours. (Those are some monster threads by the way) and every page makes me more determined and i have to smile at how strong all of you guys are. I know it will pass and time is the only healer, and there's no magic potion, blah, blah, blah. Lol. As you know it's hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever done. But I'm never going back. I can only hope that one day (hopefully in the near future) this will be over. When I "wakeup" lol I just feel like a zombie. And that and the lack of energy just seems to be so brutal. I know it's all normal. I'm good. Just zombiefied for the moment. Thanks again for all the support.

    Beef
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  13. #43
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Brutal yup about sums it up...very small world I went to school in Bradenton/Manatee. If you ever get that craving to pick up and use remember this brutal tourturous journey... Stay Strong for Today...
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  14. #44
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Thanks again lvg. Like I said earlier I would not have come this far without all of you guys. You all have been such an inspiration. I've made it through Ming and uncleleos threads and I'm about 17 pages into yours. (Those are some monster threads by the way) and every page makes me more determined and i have to smile at how strong all of you guys are. I know it will pass and time is the only healer, and there's no magic potion, blah, blah, blah. Lol. As you know it's hard, probably the hardest thing I have ever done. But I'm never going back. I can only hope that one day (hopefully in the near future) this will be over. When I "wakeup" lol I just feel like a zombie. And that and the lack of energy just seems to be so brutal. I know it's all normal. I'm good. Just zombiefied for the moment. Thanks again for all the support.

    Beef
    You've come soooooo far! Remember the first time you landed on this Forum? Probably much like the rest of us looking and hoping for someone to give us the answer for an easier detox and quick recovery. Right? lol That was my goal. Sat at my computer searching and searching. There just had to be something that would make this easier. Where was it? Who's hiding that secret? We know the answer now,. There ain't no shortcuts. BUT what we found is a wonderful group of addicts who couldn't be more committed to helping others, That's the magic and I'll take it! Soon. Very, very soon you are going to go to bed one night and sleep a good sound sleep and right thru the night. I just know that you're not too far away from that and I can't wait for you to get there. I have no doubt whatsoever that you're going to step through each and every day (and night) until then because you now have faith that everything we've been told is the truth and it will happen. I can't wait to open this page up one morning and see that you've posted and had a good night's sleep. I can't wait! So hurry up already.

    Those long threads? Me too, Read everyone of them from start to finish. Had to do something during the overnight hours other than bet the >>>> outta my pillows. It's so amazing how much stamina and determination we have once we make up our minds that we don't want to live the life of an active addict. We're all made of some pretty strong stuff. Fact.

    Hope you're having a good weekend., Almost over and Monday is on the horizon.

    Peace,

    Cat

  15. #45
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lvg nghtmare View Post
    Brutal yup about sums it up...very small world I went to school in Bradenton/Manatee. If you ever get that craving to pick up and use remember this brutal tourturous journey... Stay Strong for Today...
    Lol. Graduated MHS in 2001 Go canes go!!!!!
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  16. #46
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    As always Cat you bring a smile to my face and lift me up. I can't wait for that day I get a good night sleep as well. I know it's coming and it's one day closer after today. This is great, just thinking where I was reminds me how far I've come. I am staying strong and taking it one at a time. Zombie or not I will see this through. Never again will I let drugs run my life. Thanks for all the motivation.

    Lvg. Finally finished your monster thread. Wow. So proud of what you have accomplished so far. Congratulations!!!! Can't thank you enough for all your kind words and motivation on my bad days. I know they're not over yet but they seem to be diminishing slowly. I'll take any win I can get at this point. You guys are amazing!! I thank God every day that I found all of you. Have a great Sunday night to all! Staying strong today!!

    Beef
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  17. #47
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning all. Today is the one month mark for me!!! Started this journey on September 16. And here I am. It has been one of the longest and most frustrating months of my life. But I made it. If I can make through that horrible month I can make it through so many more. I'm still working on some minor stomach issues and some slight depression, and the fatigue although it's not terrible it's still there nagging at me. But I'm in really good spirits today. So happy to be here and drug free. Not gonna let anything bring me down today. Feeling great and it's gonna be a good day.

    Laid down and tried to get to sleep last night. Started tossing and turning until about midnight. So I decided to take a hot shower. After that I laid down and took a Tylenol pm and I was out for four hours. Gotta say it was nice. First time I got four straight hours in a long while. Not gonna make the Tylenol a regular thing but definately gonna do the shower thing right before bed and see if it helps tonight. I'll take the four hours. I was shocked when the alarm woke me at 4am. Thanks to all for being here and the support. Have a great day!!!

    Beef

  18. #48
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Good morning all. Today is the one month mark for me!!! Started this journey on September 16. And here I am. It has been one of the longest and most frustrating months of my life. But I made it. If I can make through that horrible month I can make it through so many more. I'm still working on some minor stomach issues and some slight depression, and the fatigue although it's not terrible it's still there nagging at me. But I'm in really good spirits today. So happy to be here and drug free. Not gonna let anything bring me down today. Feeling great and it's gonna be a good day.

    Laid down and tried to get to sleep last night. Started tossing and turning until about midnight. So I decided to take a hot shower. After that I laid down and took a Tylenol pm and I was out for four hours. Gotta say it was nice. First time I got four straight hours in a long while. Not gonna make the Tylenol a regular thing but definately gonna do the shower thing right before bed and see if it helps tonight. I'll take the four hours. I was shocked when the alarm woke me at 4am. Thanks to all for being here and the support. Have a great day!!!

    Beef
    Four hours is great! Who knew that we'd be happy with that, right? It's a really good sign that things are going to keep improving. Not to say that there won't be more bad nights but having a good one is such a relief. I can vividly recall dozing off, waking up and being afraid to look at the clock. I was hoping to see that at least a few hours had passed but it might have been 20 minutes! UGH! You are simply amazing in your determination to accept these lingering symptoms and your resolve to keep your mood as good as you can. That's no easy feat.

    Congratulations on that one month. To some it may sound like a drop in the bucket but we know better. EVERY day clean is reason to celebrate.

    I'll watch for you to post later because I know you will. I always look for your updates. I'm not as limber as I wished I was, especially after my recent surgery but if I were, I'd be up and doing some pretty ugly cheer leading moves. Instead, just imagine that I'm 16 and jumping around like I've got springs on my feet. YAY Beef! Go Beef! Push 'em back, push 'em back. Push 'em way back! There.

    Peace,

    Cat

  19. #49
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Thanks again Cat. I'm really happy today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but I'll take the win today. Watching that dam clock. I'm sure we all know it well. I too was afraid to look over the past week because I just knew it would make me mad seeing that I was only out for 20-30 minutes. Made for some long nights. And as soon as you do fall asleep the alarm goes off and just totally deflates you. So frustrating as we all know. I'm happy with four hours right now. Who knows maybe in another month I'll be back to 6-8 hours like I was. But I digress. Just gotta take it slow and not worry about that. It will come in time. Let's worry about tonight first. Thanks again and have a wonderful day. Got a little bit chilly up here today, some cold front or something. Just glad the chills have mostly subsided. Would have made for a rough day.Gotta go start counting inventory today. Staying strong today!! Have a good one to all!!

    Beef
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  20. #50
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Day 31. Things are good still. Still dealing with the same old pesky mild symptoms. Sleep was a little spotty last night but it seems to be getting better. Didn't have problems getting back to sleep. Got the day off today an been doing laundry all morning. Never thought laundry would be so exhausting. Lol. Chills have come back a little bit today. So it's slightly annoying because it's cold. All in all feeling good today. Keeping positive and hoping to get some energy later today. Crossing my fingers and staying strong for today. Have a great day everyone.

    Beef

  21. #51
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Day 32! Just about to go into work. Tried to sleep last night without anything to help, just wanted to gauge where I'm at. To my surprise I was able to fall asleep after about an hour. Mild rls and didn't want to look at the clock to see how many hours I was out. Just went with it. Who knows how much sleep I got. Probably 3-4 hours ish??? But that's an improvement from last week. Gonna make hot showers a must before bedtime from now on. I find it really helps mellow me out.even if I gotta take 3 a day. I'll be the cleanest guy in GA. Feeling good today, just some fatigue but like with the sleep it seems to be diminishing. We'll see how much lasting energy I have when I start moving around. Staying strong today. And happy as a clam to be here drug free. (Sorry Cat, didn't sleep through the night last night but we'll try again tonight. I promise when it happens I'll be doing cartwheels. No, I'll try to do a cartwheel and most likely fall on my face.) Not too nimble at 6'8" 300. Anyways wishing everyone nothing but the best and hoping all have a great day!!!

    Beef
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  22. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Day 32! Just about to go into work. Tried to sleep last night without anything to help, just wanted to gauge where I'm at. To my surprise I was able to fall asleep after about an hour. Mild rls and didn't want to look at the clock to see how many hours I was out. Just went with it. Who knows how much sleep I got. Probably 3-4 hours ish??? But that's an improvement from last week. Gonna make hot showers a must before bedtime from now on. I find it really helps mellow me out.even if I gotta take 3 a day. I'll be the cleanest guy in GA. Feeling good today, just some fatigue but like with the sleep it seems to be diminishing. We'll see how much lasting energy I have when I start moving around. Staying strong today. And happy as a clam to be here drug free. (Sorry Cat, didn't sleep through the night last night but we'll try again tonight. I promise when it happens I'll be doing cartwheels. No, I'll try to do a cartwheel and most likely fall on my face.) Not too nimble at 6'8" 300. Anyways wishing everyone nothing but the best and hoping all have a great day!!!

    Beef
    Shucks! I might be more disappointed that you won't be doing cartwheels today than the fact that you only got a few hours sleep! Just kidding of course. Still, 3 or 5 ain't too bad compared to not that long ago. 6'8"??? LOL We'd be Mutt and Jeff--I have always rounded up to call myself 5'2" and swear to it. My grandson, who just turned 17 is already around 6'5" and around 250 lbs. Doctor says he's got one more growth spurt in him. So. Maybe you can tell me. Where am I going to order his shoes from? I'm running outta sources as his toes are already hitting the tips of his size 17. Canoes.

    Check in later and here's hoping you have a great day.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  23. #53
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Wow. Already at size 17. I'm a 16 wide. All my shoes either are bought online or at the local fat and tall mans shop. I got a nice pair of sneakers from casual male outlet. But online always works. Sounds like he is gonna be a monster too. By my senior year of H.S. I was done growing. But when I was a freshman I was 6'2". I'm sure he can put away some groceries too. I know I could when I was that age. A lot of times outlet stores have large sizes but already at 17 it may be a streach. Good hunting!!!

    Beef

  24. #54
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    I don't know if it's just me or what. I remember uncleleo saying he had a real hankering for sweets. But all I've wanted over the past week and a half is dam taco bell. I'm sure that could be some of my residual stomach issues. But I just want some tacos or burritos every day it seems. If I keep this up I might as well buy some stock in T-Bell. Lol just wanted to share. Good day today. Fatigue is diminishing but still there. Still way better than a week ago. Hoping to sleep through the night tonight. Hope everyone has a great night. Stay strong!!

    Beef
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  25. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    I don't know if it's just me or what. I remember uncleleo saying he had a real hankering for sweets. But all I've wanted over the past week and a half is dam taco bell. I'm sure that could be some of my residual stomach issues. But I just want some tacos or burritos every day it seems. If I keep this up I might as well buy some stock in T-Bell. Lol just wanted to share. Good day today. Fatigue is diminishing but still there. Still way better than a week ago. Hoping to sleep through the night tonight. Hope everyone has a great night. Stay strong!!

    Beef
    LOL Not just you. I think at least a part of it is that our senses return with a vengeance! Everything is brighter, clearer, and smells better. One of the first things I found after getting clean was a nice 20 or so pounds. So didn't want that but if that was the price, I gladly paid it and enjoyed every bite on the way.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  26. #56
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    Hey everyone. Just sitting here taking a break from housework. (I actually got up and accomplished something today) felt good but it was exhausting. But feeling good about it. Just the thought of getting up and working around the house a week ago made me feel tired.Slept pretty well last night. Probably got about six hours total!!! Felt good when I woke up. Didn't sleep through the night but still got more than I'm used to. Still some slight nagging pesky symptoms but feeling better every day!! Just wanted to share and say thanks again to everyone for all the positive kind words and the motivation. It has been a wild ride and I'm so glad I found all of you. You guys are the best!!!

    Beef
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  27. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Hey everyone. Just sitting here taking a break from housework. (I actually got up and accomplished something today) felt good but it was exhausting. But feeling good about it. Just the thought of getting up and working around the house a week ago made me feel tired.Slept pretty well last night. Probably got about six hours total!!! Felt good when I woke up. Didn't sleep through the night but still got more than I'm used to. Still some slight nagging pesky symptoms but feeling better every day!! Just wanted to share and say thanks again to everyone for all the positive kind words and the motivation. It has been a wild ride and I'm so glad I found all of you. You guys are the best!!!

    Beef
    Great news!!! A decent night followed by housework. How could it possibly get any better than that? lol Steady improvement is the best we can ask for and you are slaying it. Fingers crossed for another good night for you, my friend.

    Peace,

    Cat
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    Hey guys. Just about to head into work. Feeling ok, not great but ok. Just dreading work today. Not really sure what's up just feel a little funk, slightly depressed. But not terrible. Went backwards a little bit with depression and chills. Suppose its normal. Just ready to get back to normal, whatever normal may be. Just ready to feel like myself again, not like I'm watching some pathetic version of myself moping around. It's just annoying, I want to be back to my jovial, happy go lucky self again. I know it takes time and I'm happy I've come this far and I'm never going back, but 34 days in I just feel like I'm running in place. (Change that, walking in place. The thought of running just makes me feel exhausted right now.) Yesterday was good, but today is a little off. I know it will pass yada,yada,yada. All that good stuff. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully better. I known in not out of the woods and it will be ok. Mind is in the right place and I'm good, just a little off. Puck this drug, it's brutal, I'm gonna beat it. Just pesky and annoying now. Want to enjoy my life. Slept decent last night but not great. Got 4 hours and then about another hour nap after that. I'll take five hours right now. Better than where I was a week ago. So that's about it. Just getting ready for another day. Just ready for the day to be over and hopefully tomorrow will be a little better. Always staying strong not gonna let it beat me down!!! Thanks for listening and have a great day!

    Beef
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  29. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    Hey guys. Just about to head into work. Feeling ok, not great but ok. Just dreading work today. Not really sure what's up just feel a little funk, slightly depressed. But not terrible. Went backwards a little bit with depression and chills. Suppose its normal. Just ready to get back to normal, whatever normal may be. Just ready to feel like myself again, not like I'm watching some pathetic version of myself moping around. It's just annoying, I want to be back to my jovial, happy go lucky self again. I know it takes time and I'm happy I've come this far and I'm never going back, but 34 days in I just feel like I'm running in place. (Change that, walking in place. The thought of running just makes me feel exhausted right now.) Yesterday was good, but today is a little off. I know it will pass yada,yada,yada. All that good stuff. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully better. I known in not out of the woods and it will be ok. Mind is in the right place and I'm good, just a little off. Puck this drug, it's brutal, I'm gonna beat it. Just pesky and annoying now. Want to enjoy my life. Slept decent last night but not great. Got 4 hours and then about another hour nap after that. I'll take five hours right now. Better than where I was a week ago. So that's about it. Just getting ready for another day. Just ready for the day to be over and hopefully tomorrow will be a little better. Always staying strong not gonna let it beat me down!!! Thanks for listening and have a great day!

    Beef
    Good Morning Beef,

    You never know. Today may just turn around. It is that unpredictable. Sometimes we gotta fake it til we make it and you know what? In doing so, sometimes it changes our mood right around. Not all the time, but sometimes it does. I always found that what begins as "having" to be around people is just the thing that helps the most. We usually don't want anyone asking questions so we do our best to appear to be as much ourselves as possible and it's sometimes just enough that we actually begin to feel that way.

    Either way, you're right. Today is just a blip on the radar and that's all it is. Part of the beauty (?) of this process is that even if we feel dismal this moment, we could feel entirely differently in the next. Step. Step.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  30. #60
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Morning Beef, yup this too shall Pass... To quote Randy the mental journey is formidable.. so true.. funk I know it well. Get yourself up keep pushing forward I know sometimes we just want to isolate but break those behaviours.. yes fake it til you make it.. stay positive look how far you have come, be Proud of yourself. I am proud of you.. Wake up with a smile and enjoy your clean life..no running and chasing that drug whew what a relief eh..you got this... Stay Strong for Today..
    Beefaroni7272 and UncleLeo like this.

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