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Day 2 - No Suboxone!
  1. #1
    SubHurt is offline New Member
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    Mar 2018
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    2

    Default Day 2 - No Suboxone!

    I’ve been reading a lot on here the last 2 days and I’m seriously trying here... I have been on subs for about 5 years, on and off. I am a disabled veteran whom started my addiction in service. Back then it was Tylox... I am a 41 year old mother to 4 and have been on some kind of pain killer for the last 20 years or so. I never over took my meds, my last was oxycodone 10mg 4 times a day for a grade 4 ac separation 2016-2017, only took those for about 3 months. My surgeon wouldn’t allow me to continue my subs for the surgeries. My psych doctor at the VA suggested the subs to me years ago and told me I would probably need to be on them for the rest of my life. I was so tired of always having to increase my pain meds only to feel high, so I took my first sub and was HAPPY!! It killed the everyday pain I went through and yet I wasn’t feeling high. I stayed at around 4mgs until this last surgery and I had gotten up to 24 mgs a day, I know, way too much but I went through some problems with my daughter, she quit speaking to me and took away my 3 year old granddaughter (that I helped raise) with no reason. (Nothing to do with addiction, her husband doesn’t like me and blames me for him walking out on her while she was pregnant and he had nothing to do with them until she was almost 2) which brings me to the current situation...during these withdrawals, the mental IS KILLING ME!! Yes, I have cried every single day since Fathers Day last year but it has hit me so much harder, I’m worried about myself. I just don’t even want to live. I have a husband who is 43 with liver cancer, stage 4 cirrhosis who refuses ANY treatment. My 2 youngest children are still home, they are 13 and 17. My oldest son is expecting a baby in April, I’m so scared to even have anything to do with his baby as him and the mother aren’t together and I don’t want to be put in the same situation I have with my first granddaughter. Sorry, maybe too much background but I can’t HANDLE the mental aspect of this, is there anything at all I can take to get me back on track? Yes, the physical aspect is hard but not even half of the mental game I’m playing here....
    I really, really need some help here...

  2. #2
    Wavision is offline Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2018
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    496

    Default

    Welcome to the forum sub.

    Did you taper off the suboxone? What mg were you taking when you stopped?

    There is a taper plan stickied at the top of the suboxone forum here. Several of us are doing the taper now or have already completed it. It has helped tons of people get off subs with minimal issues.

    I would highly suggest you read through that.

    Many of us have found gabapentin to help with the symptoms. Do you have any of this?

    I'm nearly to them point I will be jumping off suboxone for good. I am at .188 and will be dropping to .13mg tomorrow. Yes those numbers are point 188 and point 13 I should be off subs within 2 weeks.

    I have been able to get through this taper with minimal symptoms.

    Let us know some of the info above.

    Good luck ....you are doing the right thing.

  3. #3
    SubHurt is offline New Member
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    Mar 2018
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    Default

    I dropped from 24mgs a day to 1-2 mg a day for the last 2 or 2 and a half weeks. Unfortunately, I don’t have a new doctor to go to as we moved from NC to FL. I used my last months supply for cutting down. I’ve had the cold sweats, RLS and such at a very minimal amount since I started the 1-2 mg. I can take the physical aspect, it’s not that bad since I did cut down so much. My issue is the mental and also the pain from all my injuries has returned. Until suboxone, I was not able to sit straight up in a bed due to so much scar tissue that just keeps returning after each surgery to remove it, that’s back too which really sucks! You don’t realize how often you use stomach muscles until you have pain in them...
    But more than anything, I just need my daughter and granddaughter!!
    Sorry, I got sidetracked, I can’t take gabapentin, I’m allergic to it according to my medical records. I remember taking it but I don’t remember what it done to me now, it’s been a long time since I took it.

  4. #4
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    USA
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    3,602

    Default

    Hello Subhurt welcome to the forum.
    I'm sorry you are dealing with all this. Have you looked into face to face support
    Na, Aa other Addicts going through the same you are. It will give you the tools to deal with your journey getting clean. That was a tremendous amount of subs congratulations on tapering down. Yes the physical is awful but the mental journey is formidable. Keep posting we are all here to support you.
    Thank you for your service...

  5. #5
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    Georgia
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    Default

    Hey Subhurt. Welcome to the forum, thank you for your service, and congratulations on tapering from 24mg to 1-2 mg. That is quite a feat. Jumping from 1-2 mg is no joke. Although it is very doable. I jumped from 1mg a little longer than 5 months ago. The first three weeks were not fun. But once I got through the physical aspect that's when I got hit with the sleeplessness, depression, rls, and fatigue. It isn't pretty but the main thing is to keep onpushing, keep a positive mindset and know that it is temporary and it will pass. Imodium, stay active, bananas, Thomas recipe minus the benzos (unless you're already taking them under a doctor's care) and hydrate, I mean HYDRATE!!! It will help to flush the garbage out of your system.

    As far as the pain goes, I've had back issues ever since I was 18. Lots of issues, chiropractors, but no surgeries. I can tell you that the first month I was off subs I felt every bump and bruise I'd gotten over the previous 8+ years when I was self medicating with oxy and subs. But the pain goes away. Today I'm in less pain than I ever was while taking meds, and Tylenol or Advil actually works now. The pain pills lie!!

    I can tell you for a fact that it is so much better than I could have ever hoped for being off this crazy drug. Everything is brighter, better, more vibrant. It takes some time for our bodies to heal but it happens, we get back to ourselves. And you will too!! You are a warrior!!

    Keep posting, let it all out, it really helps!!
    Congratulations again and welcome!
    Beef

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