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day 4 with no vicoden
  1. #91
    jac82981 is offline New Member
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    Default Starting day 4

    Quote Originally Posted by tom27 View Post
    the thing I dont get is the farther along I go ,the less I'm getting any feed back from anyone. I dont know if I made everyone mad or what. well anyways its my fight, I put my input in,hopefully it helped someone ,I guess its time to move on,ill check in periodically to see how everyone is doing, for those of you that helped me through the beginning thank you, just have ti find other ways to get support . everyone keep fighting,thanx again .

    P.S. on day 16 now...

    Tom
    Hi Tom, thank you so much for posting you're positive story. I'm starting day 4 of a love hate relationship with hydro's I can't wait to be where you are and I totally understand the NO sleep!!! It's so hard being up all night then having to go to work but I'll keep trying to push on Congrats to you and you deserve a medal God Bless

  2. #92
    tom27 is offline Member
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    welcome Jac, it has been a journey for sure ,the no sleep didn't last that long and now its great,start of day 40 today,day 4 seems so long ago,soon you will be here if you fight for it and you want it,its not fair that some little pill can consume our life, so how you dealling with everything ?

    stay strong

    Tom

  3. #93
    tom27 is offline Member
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    day 45 today for me

  4. #94
    tom27 is offline Member
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    day 49 today and all is good,been so dam busy I haven't posted much lately,over all everything is ok just on the fight to gain weight still, going up and down,don't understand that one,any suggestions out there on putting weight on and keeping it on?

    stay strong people
    Tom

  5. #95
    tom27 is offline Member
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    Note to self, some days will be good and others will ne a battle ,last night and today is a battle, the trust issue with my wife is driving me crazy, I know it will take a long time for it to come back but my God give me a little break, I honestly lost on what to do anymore , one thing she keeps dwelling on is my weight ,it hoes up and down, this I really done understand my self , just feel lost and alone right now, I have been totally clean for 51 days now,and sometimes I cant do anything right, I know where I'm at with my addition and I will never go back, I did all of this to myself and now I'm trying to fix everything ,maybe I'm trying to hard or not hard enough ,I just don't know anymore .

    wish this nightmare was over

    Tom

  6. #96
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Keep strong tom27 52 days off your daily use is no small feat and the weight you lost should come back...

  7. #97
    tom27 is offline Member
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    as I lay awake waiting for my wife to get home it really hit me on everything I look at here I did while being high ,what a shame.it disgusting , God why did I ever get hooked on those things,they really did destroy my life,

    Tom

  8. #98
    tom27 is offline Member
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    today I will start the looking process for na meeting I can't do this by myself anymore, what should I expect,this is kind of freaking me out,but I know I need to do this,any suggestions out there? this is a silly question but whats the difference between open and closed meetings,ive never been to a meeting so I am 100 percent clueless on what to look for, thanx for any input

    Tom

  9. #99
    TightRope is offline Junior Member
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    Tom,
    Thank you for posting your battle. Good read thread.
    Your doing great and are very inspiring to read about, thanks again and to Shawn, Sam and others.

    Do not be so hard on yourself, your human, and addiction can happen to all of us. Do not dwell on that!
    Those wounds that happened when you were using take time to heal, some may even leave scars...

    I have tried and tried to quit vicoden/norco abuse for a long time. Been using Heavy for over 6 years.
    (I don't know if you happen to read any of my crazy posts when I tried detoxing under the radar as TightRope)
    I never turned the cornner like you did, I would get to day 4-5 and relaps. Never gettting to feel good 8-10 times!!! So, since then I been walking the tightrope and now a wrong step will be rock bottom for me.

    I am on day 3 now trying Detox again, doing things a little different from a few weeks ago. (this is turning into a new hobbie for me, lol)
    I lot of physical activty on Detox day 1 and 2 out of town, Pure hard work Hell. I also told one family member for support, that was kinda big.
    Don't feel too bad now, just anxiety and cravings. I share a simaler history as you, same age, 10 year old son, but divorced. Don't let your wife become a trigger to relaps!
    You sound like you have a physical job, I think that helps. Activitey/excersise helps.
    You will get the truck back and the wife trust takes time...Maybe she could get some help for familey members dealing with an addict who is a loved one? So she can understand and be supportive?

    As for NA I have been looking into it too, not gone yet, read the book. I have worked with some guys who went. Try to go to an open meeting. You don't have to talk, introduce your self and just listen. They will welcome you, they already know what hell you may have been through and that you are there for help and support. That's the same reason they are all their. If you get to know someone and make a friend, you can ask them to be your sponser, someone to call for support if/when you are feeling week (it helps more to talk with someone, even though posting helps, keep it up). It seems like sponsership is kinda tricky, but go to the N/A meetings anyway.

    I cannot wait to get to day 54 like you, you are an inspiration. You are making a difference on the computer to me and others reading about your struggle. Feel good about that.
    Stay stong, you are doing this, all the triggers come along with the battle. Try to see them coming and be ready for them.

    My goals are 7 days, then 14, then 30. For now.
    Feel good about yourself, learn from the pasy. What you are doing, It's a Big Deal.
    May the Force be With You.
    -TightRope

  10. #100
    tom27 is offline Member
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    tightrope ,thanx for reading and your comments, every little word of encouragement helps,I did get my truck back, so that was good,but ya everyday is a battle man, as for you just keep trying,one of these times it will stick and work, its a hellish process we go through and I keep telling myself it took many many years of addiction to here and its gonna take some time to heal all wounds,like you said some will leave scares ,that my friend is the truth,I come home everyday to see my house not finished from a addition I started back in 07, spent all the money on those little demons, so ya that one looks at me everyday , I do construction(self employed) and it hurts to make someone a beautiful house and mine looks like ( cant use the words I want) but in some strange twist its a thing I stare at sometimes and think wow look what I did. but anyways man I really do wish you all the luck in the world to get sober,it will be nice to post each other in a year and see how much better life is!

    keep fighting !!

    your friend

    Tom

  11. #101
    tom27 is offline Member
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    today is 60 days,but it is a sad day,Christopher my prayers are with you little buddy,its not fair for someone soo young to be losing the thing we call life,foe those of you that are confused my sons friend that is 12 is losing the battle with bio duct cancer,extremely rare for kids,you can read my post on tightropes thread, he is just to young ,my heart and my prayers go out to you ,

    Tom

  12. #102
    tom27 is offline Member
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    so i know this has nothing to with addition but I just have to say a prayer my son's best friend passed away this morning . he was truly a great kid,you will be missed,

    Tom

  13. #103
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Very sorry to hear that. Prayers to you family and the family of the child who passed on.

  14. #104
    TightRope is offline Junior Member
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    Tom27,
    My thought's and prayers are with you all and the one we lost.
    May Peace and Strenght be with you all.

    I guess this is a really hard lesson: Life is not Fair.

    Peace, -Tightrope

  15. #105
    tom27 is offline Member
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    what a whirl wind since Thursday ,life is what we make it to be, we can make the best of it or just give into the beast, life is to short to give into that,we must fight the demons and live life to its fullist. for me that is family,coaching baseball,and fishing . point being do we need to be high to enjoy these things? No we dont!!! everyday is a struggle for US addicts,but if we stay strong and keep fighting we will come out on top.

    stay strong my friends

    Tom

  16. #106
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hey all I'm back ,spent some time up the coast doing some fishing,came back for the funeral now gettin ready for school and work tomorrow . on day 73 staying strong.hope all is well with everyone

    stay strong

    Tom

  17. #107
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Did you get some action fishing? Stay strong! I remember I had some real bad days around 60 days and then again at 90 ish.

  18. #108
    Jill0504 is offline New Member
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    New here. On day one. It's been 24 hours since my last dose I feel awful. Headache, diarrhea, very emotional, RLS. When does this get better. I was taking norco 5/325 for about 12 months before that Vicodin 5/500 for atleast 3 years. These are prescribed for chronic pain. I have had enough. I need to know what to expect in the days ahead. I just got over a stomach virus as well. I feel dehydrated a bit. I have been sneezing a ton. Ugh I just want to feel better. I am taking Klonopin also prescribed for anxiety and Benedryl seems to help.

  19. #109
    The Husband is offline Member
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    you should feel better around 4 days Jill.

  20. #110
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hi Jill for me the first 3-5 day were not fun,but it does get better

    Husband . fishing was nice nut didn't catch anything ,thats ok it was just nice to get away for a few days with the family

    Tom

  21. #111
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Bad day fishing is still better then a good day at work and I'm sure your fam had some quality time together. Keep on keeping on!

  22. #112
    lindenx is offline Member
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    Jill, how are you doing?

  23. #113
    tom27 is offline Member
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    82 days and counting,super busy
    Tom

  24. #114
    tom27 is offline Member
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    well here we are on day 88, had a nice weekend of baseball ,fishing ,and hanging out at Redondo pier playing games and people watching ,life is much better now I have to say,starting to put some weight on finally, well have to get back to work.

    KEEP FIGHTING

    Tom

  25. #115
    Justin1538 is offline New Member
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    hello Tom, I'm currently in the process of recovery. I've been addicted to pain killers for several years and about a week ago I decided I no longer wanted to do this.. I was never prescribed anything so I always bought it off the street. Last Tuesday was my last pill and I have been suffering since. This is day 8 for me. Its not so bad today but the last week has been horrible. WD symptoms are something I don't wish on my worst enemy. Im trying my best to fight my addiction but the mental part of it is the hardest. I wanted to get my fix so bad these past few nights. A couple of nights ago it was really bad. Instead of going out and trying to find some, I got on my labtop and googled drug forums. I found this post on google and in my opinion, this might be what keeps me from going back. I read everyone of your posts and all kept thinking was man, I really hope I can make it as far as he has. You have inspired me to get through these last couple of days. Every time I get an urge I think about what you and others have written on here and how long you've been fighting. U have helped me out a lot and I cant thank you enough. If I'm right I think today is day 90 for you so congrats man and keep up the hard work. Addiction is very hard to overcome, especially after doing it for so long. 90 days is a very long time to stay clean. This is day 8 so I hope in 82 days I can say the same thing. I hope this thread stays open for a long time cause it could save a few more people. Thanks again, Justin.

  26. #116
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hey Justin good job on 8 days ,things should start getting better,ya that first week sucks big time,but you can do it,ya today is the big 90 for me,never thought I would be here but I am,I'm glad I could help out, this will be a life long battle for us but in the end it will be worth it, just try to keep yourself busy ,I spent many hours on YouTube ,make sure you drink lots of water, try to go on walks,ya I know you probably done want to but just have to stay as active as you can, hot showers or baths and just try to find something that will keep your mind off those demons,before you know it you will hit 30 days and so on.

    jeep fighting

    Tom

  27. #117
    Justin1538 is offline New Member
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    Thanks Tom. One question for you though, at day 90 is it still hard not to relapse? Im just curious as to what it feels like at your point in recovery. Ive heard from other places that this addiction is a life long process.
    What do you feel like tom? Is it still hard for you not to take one of those demons or are you completely over it and don't miss the edge at all?

  28. #118
    tom27 is offline Member
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    thats a good question, I'd say for the most part in done,but every now and then I still get cravings, sometimes I miss that feeling they gave me but when that happens I look back at my early posts,man I never want to go through that again, and yes this will ne a lifelong battle, I am a addict,and that will never change ,the only thing that will change is I wont take them darn things again, ive lost so many things over the years to those stupid things ,start a post and post all the time even if its something stupid ,they are things to look back on and show your self how much better you are now then in the beginning .I'd this is something you want,and you have to want it you'll ne fine man, you've pretty much made it through the well part of this ,just take each hour as a victory , Mark on a calendar every clean day and watch them add up.I haven't posted much lately but I will check in more often, I know it helps talking with others here

    stay strong my friend

    Tom

  29. #119
    tom27 is offline Member
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    one thing I forgot to answer I feel great,normal,like we are ment to be

    Tom

  30. #120
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    Hi Tom you have inspired me so much as well my last suboxone was Thursday and my last hydro was Sunday I've been using for 3 years so tomorrow will be a week with out sub and 4 days without hydro I've been through hell ever since is it ever going to get better I used to workout be in great shape now I'm soft I want my old life back used to have energy to make matters worse I have a 10 month old and now I can't be as good as a dad I want to be or a husband my wife knows I use every now and then and dong know why I do she has no idea I'm do addicted do I come clean with her or continue to hide it it's so hard to make it through the day at work all I can think about is getting home and taking sleep meds just to hope the next day is better but that's when I should be doing family stuff and I'm not I'm just laying there like I'm dead please help

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