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day 4 with no vicoden
  1. #121
    tom27 is offline Member
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    [deleted - sweaing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-16-2014 at 08:05 PM.

  2. #122
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    I was taking anywhere from 4-8-12 mg of sub a day and hydro 150-200 mg a day depending in what I had. In my dumb foggy haze of being high I texted another girl and I didn't really mean it I love her so much so were not really talking right now to make matters worste I just wanna love he'd and my kid and enjoy life without being high which I didng even get high It just made me feel normal. I just want to feel normal and get back to my hobby of working out god I hate my self I've always been a strong not weak person I don't know what happened to me. I can barly keep my head up or it's hard to even walk and do the simplest things I feel so freaking heavy feels like I'm careing weights and have no muscles nothing seems fun or exciting I can't even get happy about picking my kid up please help

  3. #123
    tom27 is offline Member
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    this is all typical ,you have to understand that your brain has had these drugs for so long and now it doesn't , I'm not gonna lie,the first week is no fun, no energy ,I felt like everyone was looking at me,and ya just to walk it felt like my legs weighed 1000 pounds,you have to remember we didn't get to where we are over night,its gonna take some time to get back your life, just keep pushing man, I know right now its tough,ive been there ,I hope some of this helps you guys I really do.

    stay strong

    Tom

  4. #124
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    God I just want it to end I thought today would be better but it's actually worse. I don't know if I can do it I'm normally a very strong person but this has got me so weak and I'm arguing with my wife I'm afraid if I tell her it will just make it that much worse. I don't want to lose her or my child I feel bad I don't know what to do

  5. #125
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Congrats on making 3 months Tom! Keep going I have been super busy I started mountain biking again and with two jobs haven't had much time to check the forums. Keep fighting the good fight

  6. #126
    tom27 is offline Member
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    Husband ,good to here from you,ive also been extremely busy,work,coaching baseball,working on the house and Fishing,I wish the order of those were the other way lol,its pretty bad when the fishing poles go with me to baseball tournaments,you never know when the chance to fish will come. Wrigley,,,,, this will not be easy but like I said before if this is something you want you can do it,you have no patients right now and anything will set you off,this is part of the mental battle within,you will look back at these days and never want to do it again. I know with the wife having no clue it makes things that much harder.you have to look at it as do I want to start this all over again ,No you don't read some posts around this place and see the outcome of a lot of people ,Don't be one of those that gets so close then fives up,ive been here for 3 months and I have seen a lot that gave up, don't let a little pill run and ruin your life,its not worth it man, keep fighting this this and hey every clean hour is a victory and no one can take that from you .stack up the clean days still get better.

    stay strong

    Tom

  7. #127
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    Tom I thank you so much for caring and staying with me through this I need people like you. It helps in so many ways with your kind words. I want this so bad I just seem to have pains that I never used to have

  8. #128
    Justin1538 is offline New Member
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    Wrigley, you will be fine man. I'm only on day 9 but I feel a lot better today for some reason. The WD are the hardest part to get through but after about day 7 you will start to regain some strength and energy. Tom is right, this is the part of the mental battle. If you really want to quit then quit. Believe me, there's been many times where I thought I was ready to quit but as soon as my guy gave me a call telling me he had more I fell right back into the hole. But this time I really believe I'm done, the guy gave me a call yesterday and I kindly denied and told him I was done and to please stop calling me because it would be too tempting. I really want to do this and when you really want to do something you usually do it. When I think about how many lies I have told, how many times I got out of something just to go home to take a pill and how much $ I spent on this it makes me sick. This is a war your fighting and so far your winning. As far as telling the wife, in my opinion, I would tell her. Its harder to keep something in rather then letting out the truth and getting it off your shoulders. If you love her and she loves you then she will join you in the battle and fight with you. Make your decision and stick with it. You have already made it this far. Good luck.

  9. #129
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-17-2014 at 10:05 PM.

  10. #130
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    Today is day 8 with out sub and day 5 with out hydro I really wish I didn't take that hydro last Sunday then I would be that much farther ahead. So far this morning I feel a lil better I feel like I'm only carting around 500 extra lbs rather than 1000 extra last night took melatonin best I think I've slept in the last week but I also took zzzquil. And a Xanax . I've been reading some good posts I think I can do this. The wife thing is killing me though were already arguing over a text I sent to a girl a week ago

  11. #131
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    Starting to get really achey again and very in comfortable. I made if through 4 1/2 days of work so far this week which was pure misery hell idk how I did it I have a half day left then I'm off sat and sun!!! That is much needed time to recover I sure hope Monday I feel fine. This is hard to do knowing that just a couple all this would go away but in my mind I know it's just temparory and not a permanent fix. This gas been so bad tgat I just don't think I could ever do that first week again especially having to work like that and it's getting hot out now too. Where is everyone at? I think I may conquer this thing. I hope so

  12. #132
    lindenx is offline Member
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    Wrigley, congratulations on getting through the work week. From what I know the worst should be coming to an end. Hope you have a nice weekend, keep busy, and get some relief from this!

  13. #133
    Justin1538 is offline New Member
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    Wrigley, the first 4-8 days are going to really tough but just stay strong man. I was using for a long time, lost the count of years that's how long I was using but I'm on day 10 and I feel good.
    I will say that time has been going by slower than usual, I still get random chills, runny nose every now and then, and lack of energy but that could be from me working 2 jobs. Just keep your head up and keep going forward. Good luck

  14. #134
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    ThAnks all you guys for the support I think I'm gonna beat it this time. I still need your guys support so please check in I'm me please

  15. #135
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hey guys just checking in,Benn a couple of brutal days dealing with inspectors and sitting at the city dealing with them people .nothing like passing all inspections then have a new inspector that make you tear down a wall.oh well done want to bore you all with that. any ways Wrigley good job on making it through the work week like Justin said 4-8 days the worst will ne over ,still gonna take some time for the energy thing to come back, Justin how you doin? how many days now, something I keep forgetting to tell you guys you should start a thread on the need to talk section that gets a lot more traffic and there are some Great freaking people there,I would not ne where I'm at today without them,I'm not saying not to post here please post here all you want,I will try to help you guys as much as I can but something to try any ways I have to get back to removing this wall so come Monday I'm ok to move on,keep fighting guys you can do this

    stay strong

    Tom

  16. #136
    Wrigley81 is offline New Member
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    Still haven't told my wife yet but we are getting along I really want to tell her but I'm afraid and I'm afraid she will look at me as a diff person anyway got some decent sleep but not the best wanted to sleep in but couldn't. I started the day with a hot shower did 30 min of weight lifting which nearly killed me dong know how I did it I was so weak. Then the wife kid and I went on about a lol over a mile stroll its like 75 degrees out I'm usually pumped on a day like this ready to suck down a few cold ones fire up the grill but I just can't get excited about it. Back pain still lingering and now I'm starting to get stomached cramps any suggestions I've been taking ibuprofen I'm trying to do this I just want it to be better now. I hope I feel good on Easter and on work Monday I can't take another sluggish hell week it would kill me or get me nervous about doing things. On too of things were suppose to go out and eat and drink tonight with friends idk if I'm ready for that I def can not handle a hangover right now any thoughts.

  17. #137
    Justin1538 is offline New Member
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    Hope everyone had a great Easter. Unfortunately I didn't. I worked 16 hrs on Saturday. Didn't get off until 12 that night and passed out around 1. woke up at 2 am to my mom calling me and telling me and my grandfather had a heart attack. Went to the hospital and didn't get home til around 8 that morning. My grandfather is still alive but unfortunately he is on life support and they don't expect him to live. He will be taken off of life support Friday so we will see where things go from there but the doc says it will be a miracle if he makes it. A very tough time right now for me and my family. He was the center of our family and its going to take a long time for us to recover from this. I hope everyone is doing well. Day 15 for me. Everyday is getting easier. Still hard some nights to get good rest but its improving. Take care.

  18. #138
    TightRope is offline Junior Member
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    Hey Tom, it's Tightrope,
    Yes I had a bad relaps, with a strong does of Depression, but we all know we can't stop trying!
    If you are not trying to quit, what are you doing?
    That evil pill relaps hit my bank account hard too. Dam.
    The good news is I'm on on day 8 kleen now, the relaps detox over memorial day was not as severe as the first detox hell that pulled hot fish hooks out of my soul.
    I changed up my detox plan a little and still had Thomas Recipe ingredents. When you have to try again, change it up a little, it worked for me. Along with my sponser help.
    I'm getting kleen mean and green.....and keeping my green! I gotta be in it, to win it! I am picking up what your throwing down Tom. Your making a difference, thanks. Glad to hear our doing well and busy i hope you and your son have some tight fishing lines! I'm a big fisherman too, so is my son, anyway......

    To those on this tread fighting this battle:
    You did not become a drug addict over nite, it takes time and strength to heal.

    May the Force be With You.

    -Tightrope

  19. #139
    tom27 is offline Member
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    Everyone probably thought I fell off the wagon, I'm still here, I believe it 189 days now force me, body is clean but everything else is a disaster , I thought by now things would be somewhat back to normal , personally it's to the point of why am I still here? No one trusts me my wife will never let this go, it's like a black cloud over me everything waking minute of the day, my marriage now to me is pretty much over. I have tried my hardest to make things rights and I just don't think it will ever be even close to what is was, my family would be way better off without me, that I know force sure. That's all I got, see ya guys.

  20. #140
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Over 6 months That's great your still clean! Have you and the wifey tried counciling? Prayers you can work it out with her during this difficult time... I was wondering where you went glad to see you wondered pack to update on progress

  21. #141
    tom27 is offline Member
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    Well it has been a while since ive been here, coming up on 1 year. Only bad thing is I did slip one time about 2 months ago, my wife had a bottle in her purse and I took 20, I did give back 16 of them to her after lying and saying I didn't take them, for me I feel like even though I took them, I gave them back so that has to say something, my main >>>> I'm dealing with now is still weight gain, I go between 166 and 172, I should be I guess about 180, my wife is certain that I'm still on them, says I look horrible, I know I don't eat as much as I should and doing construction I'm sure most days I'm burning more calories than I take in, I just wish I could prove to her somehow I'm really clean, it does feel great ,I have lots of energy, trying to do way to many things around the house, but it all ends up going back to my wife not trusting me, I'm honestly trying 110 percent this time and one slip up of 4 stupid pills just took everything back to square one. Honestly I do not know what to do anymore. I feel like sometimes why did I even quit, I guess the bottom line is I lied for so many years that maybe to much damage has been done to ever get over this, trust me I love my wife more than life itself, but she is married to an addict, and that's a lot to swallow for someone, all I wanted was to have what we once had, but as time goes on I wonder if thats even remotely possible, right now I don't see it happening, I'm not going to give up though, man a year ago I was like I can't wait for the first year to pass, but in my situation a year has passed and its like nothing really has changed. I hope everyone had a good holiday.
    Just trying to keep fighting
    Tom

  22. #142
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Tom: Congratulations on a year!!!! It's huge that you gave your wife back the 16 vikes. That is HUGE: it does say something about stepping up and being an addict we manipulate and lie, but you did tell the truth even if it wasn't right away. It is also hard to trust an addict. Sometimes it's hard to win back trust and sometimes you never do. The important thing is that you STAY clean. Keep fighting!!!!

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  23. #143
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    I just wish I could prove to her somehow I'm really clean,


    You can purchase Opiate test strips online or at your local Pharmacy, that will prove to her you are clean. Give her the strips and tell her to test you anytime she wishes. The cost is about $1.50 per strip.

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