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day 4 with no vicoden
  1. #1
    tom27 is offline Member
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    Default day 4 with no vicoden

    ive been taking 10/325 Norco for a long time, I am now 3 days clean but i have lost about 35 pounds, I look like a sick person . I think the worst is over but I'm worried about my weight loss. my doctor would just refill when ever I wanted. in the past year I only went to his office twice. can I do anything to report him.

  2. #2
    Jlynn84 is offline New Member
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    Good for you! I myself, am 3 days clean too but from suboxone, this time. So you plan on staying clean right? Don't worry about the weight, it will come back and probably with a vengeance , lol! I'm sure you could report him, but why would you want to? Sorry, that was the addict in me talking.. You can file a complaint with the medical board and they probably would investigate him/her especially if there were more complaints against him/her. Or maybe they wouldn't.. I really don't know. These damn doc's need to quit acting like drug dealers and help!

  3. #3
    tom27 is offline Member
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    ya I agree he is like a legal drug dealer. this is my third time trying to quit but this is it. I never want to feel this ever again. I just want to feel better, be able to sleep and be able to enjoy life and laugh. I'm 43 and my whole life I have been addicted to something . I know it will get better each day

  4. #4
    Jlynn84 is offline New Member
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    It will get better each day! I know it's tough and unbearable at sometimes but stay strong. As long as you have that mindset of wanting to quit you can do it. Hell with taking something just to feel "normal". I want to feel normal w/out taking anything. I'm tired of this life. I've had a few clean years during this hell that is my life and I felt good, really good. I know I will again and so will you! I wish there was some sort of magic that would take this all away like abracadabra you're healed! But unfortunately we have to go thru it so we don't make the same mistake yet again.. Keep writing! This does help! You're not alone!

  5. #5
    tom27 is offline Member
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    ya thanx, a normal life will be nice,so how are you doing, the leg twitches stopped last night, that was nice, just that feeling of uselessness sucks, but so far today is better then yesterday , we have to take it one day at a time.

  6. #6
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    I am 21 days clean and those darn leg twitches came back a few nights ago. So annoying.
    I am still in the mental battle but I am not letting it get to me.I have dealt with it and not went and got a refill.
    I have problems with my back,but I want to just deal with the pain of my back rather then use again. The times I counted pills and was always looking for them,not so great. Congrats on making a change and remember,don't think 1 will not turn you back around,it will so stay strong and away from them!

  7. #7
    tom27 is offline Member
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    congratulations on 21 days,ya last night was not fun,no leg twitches just the mental part of laying in bed till 4a.m.before I fell to sleep, I had a good evening and actually did a few things around the house, I hate the feeling of everyone is looking at me and just no energy, how long was it before you got a good nights sleep

  8. #8
    tom27 is offline Member
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    so far today was surprisingly not that bad, I just hope I can sleep tonight. how are you guys doing?

  9. #9
    tom27 is offline Member
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    the day went great but now its back to trying to sleep ,got about 4 hours last night, thought by now I would be out like a light. why did we do this to ourselves 120-240 a month for about 6 years, lies, and spending all that time and money on trying to get to the next refill ,are we that bind? ya we are addicts,and always be but if we can stay clean we have hope , look at a child laughing,totally innocent and not a worry in life. we can get back to that, thats our goal and our New life's mission . together we can all do it!!!!!!

  10. #10
    tom27 is offline Member
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    well here I am again 3:35 a.m.and still cant sleep. God I miss sleep 2-3 hours a night sucks, anyone have suggestions on how to sleep??????

  11. #11
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    Sorry I have been away.Some issues I had to deal with came up. I was doing withdrawals often,every 2-3 weeks for months so my body and mind were all out of whack. 23 days clean and feeling good,even my kids have noticed a difference in me. I don't have much pain,but I did ask the Dr today for Ibuprofen 800 MG to deal with the pains when they come up,he said he is glad I chose to stop using the pills and know my pain level was much lower then I was feeling.Vicodin seems to cause pain after using it for a little bit.I am just glad I stopped on my own rather then him taking them away.Life has been better now since I am nearly through my ordeal with the devils pills.
    Sleep has always been weird for me but I usually sleep a lot the first few days and then up and down the following 2-3 nights and then I would get more or a refill.This time it was about a week or so before I started to sleep more and better,but it is different for everyone.
    I lost a lot this time around with my addiction and I guess that is what really made me stop using.I met someone 3 1/2 years ago and the relationship was good until I started using again.It was off and on the pills several times and when I was on,our relationship went to bad and never recovered.We were married for just over 2 months.She left at the end of October because she had enough of me and the stress I was causing and me not doing much to help out.I did work and paid all the bills but on my 4-5 days off,I didn't take care of my relationship with her,I took care of my relationship with the pills more. Our divorce was final less then a month ago,December 30th,the last time I took one. I guess that is what jarred me into reality that I lost my family once again over the pills. We didn't have kids in common but I have 2 she has 1 and they were close. Things just got out of hand and she started getting so stressed,the arguments turned into her physically hitting me and it just had to end.I've had the last 23 days to think about all this and what I lost because of my addiction.
    A few weeks ago we talked and she needed someplace to stay.I was reluctant to agree to her coming back.but legally,she could have anyways with her name on the lease still. She has seen the change in me and we haven't had an argument about anything. By this time we would have already fought 20 times and wanted a divorce and move out. We are not getting back together.I put her through to much and with her getting physically violent with me,I don't want to do it again.In a few weeks she will be moving since she will have her tax check. I really hate that it has came to this between me and her but we are friends again and that is all it will be. I sit here at night and think of how we had planned things for the next few years on what we wanted to do with the kids as far as vacations and such things go. It stings knowing I lost probably the best person I have been with. I take blame for my actions and her reactions to my actions.
    I have struggled with this and have been taking xanax to get through some days.I do have a script for the 1mg 4x a day,I take .5mg 4-6 times a day and it works better for me,but I will be starting to come off of them in the next few weeks by my choice.I can go back to 2mg fast and without trouble,but getting to 1.5mg a day is very hard.I done it once I can do it again,but I get stuck at 1.5mg and can't seem to jump over that hurdle. I tried for 6-8 months and then my use went back up.

    So about sleeping,sorry I ranted some,try some OTC stuff first.Tylenol PM or Advil PM.If that doesn't help get a script for ambien. I used Xanax since it is the only thing that will put me out but I do not recommend that to anyone. Avoid Benzos as much as you can.I have been on since 2008 and have used it everyday since and it is worse then Vicodin or even Oxy when it comes to withdrawals. Trust me,I have went a few days without and it was 10x worse. Hope it works out for you and you can stay clean.Good job making it this far. I will try to stop in and post and encourage you as much as I can. We are both addicts and we have to want change before we can change. I have been on and off vicodin and Oxy since 2006,but I will not at any cost go back to using them,even if it were a short amount of time. 1 is to many 1,000,000 is never enough in out case.

  12. #12
    tom27 is offline Member
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    half way through day 6, kind of wanted them today but luckly there are none to be found even if I looked for them. other then rls at night,some anxiety at night and only sleeping for a few hours its not that bad, I mark on the calender every morning clean for the previous day, also putting my weight in calender every night. went from 164 to last night 166. still I should be pushing 200. kind of funny most people want to lose 40 lbs, I want to gain 40.. lol . at least I'm back to work.

  13. #13
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hey Shawn its Tom, it is nice to be able to talk to people that are going through the same thing, today is hard day,I'm sure if I would have had any vics I would have taken them, glad I have think none, the craving today is trying to over rule my body, trya anding to stay busy and not think of them, I have found listening to music is a comfort, kind of strange but give it a try.anyways I replied to your last post and it was as long as yours,but somehow it got deleted ,any ways hope your doing well today .I'm on my 6 th day now.

  14. #14
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tom27 View Post
    hey Shawn its Tom, it is nice to be able to talk to people that are going through the same thing, today is hard day,I'm sure if I would have had any vics I would have taken them, glad I have think none, the craving today is trying to over rule my body, trya anding to stay busy and not think of them, I have found listening to music is a comfort, kind of strange but give it a try.anyways I replied to your last post and it was as long as yours,but somehow it got deleted ,any ways hope your doing well today .I'm on my 6 th day now.
    Got to stay strong and fight the cravings.You are so close to being away from them that giving in now would be a shame. The mental part for me was the hardest part even with my Xanax,I actually ran out and I came clean with the Dr and told her why I ran out and she called more in for me. Insurance wouldn't pay for it but it is fairly cheap. I would avoid using any benzo though.If you think this is bad,try a benzo withdrawal. I had them before she called them in and it was horrible.
    I have faith in you that you can get away from the Vicodin.Trust me,your body will thank you and your way of thinking will change. People don't realize what it does to your brain and how it changes you slowly into something you don't want to be or ever were. I lost a marriage over the pills,but I have to keep pushing. In a week,read what you wrote and you will realize that you made the right choice by staying off them.

  15. #15
    tom27 is offline Member
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    well put my friend, this whole thing seems like bad dream, I do have to say I feel way better today then I did just a couple of days ago.sorry to here about the marriage thing I was next in line,my wife knew something was going in and I just kept lying to her,I came clean to her and she is trying help me, why she kept me I have no idea, I want to make things right and have the life we are supposed to have, we will get there.for some reason I think Imight be able to sleep tonight , who knows? take care and thanx for listening, this does really help .

  16. #16
    tom27 is offline Member
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    ah ya the start of day 7, I Slept last night, man did that feel good.need to work on putting some weight on now,have to get ready for work now

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    tom27 is offline Member
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    feeling really good today, has the demon passed? day 7, you know even if no one reads these things it has helped me so much to know I'm not alone in this new journey of life.I wish the best for all that are on this journey.quit taking pills . it is so not worth losing everything . sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to wake up and see what we have become .its like a monster that lives inside us, well its time to kick the you no what out if him. thanx everyone

  18. #18
    shawn156 is offline Member
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    Expect to feel a little out of touch with reality in the next week or so.You'll know when it happens. Just bear with it,it will pass in a few days and then after that you may not have anything else happen or very minor things. It takes a little time to get through.
    Congrats on sticking to it and save that marriage.I regret I screwed mine up.

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    tom27 is offline Member
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    I think I can handle that, what just one week can do, I already feel way better and thats only 7 days. we just have to stick it out

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    tom27 is offline Member
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    day 9 now and things are so much better , never thought I would be at this point

  21. #21
    tom27 is offline Member
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    hey Shawn you out there? just wanted to thank you for all your support ,it really did help. I'm sleeping and have energy during the day, still some cravings but I can deal with that, thanx again

  22. #22
    tom27 is offline Member
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    haven't posted here for a bit things are going good for me, I am on the end of day 11 right now, I was cleaning up tonight and found one of those demon pills, I thought at first that it would be hard to see those things, nope, I took it out side and crushed that thing onto the cement, for me that was huge. never thought I could do that . once again thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening and guiding me through this new journey, its not easy but it is possible , today is the best I have felt in years. and its only gonna get better. thank you all. Tom
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  23. #23
    blueopiate is offline Member
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    I blamed my doctor to for a while. But addicts are good liars and actors of "i'm in pain". Have any type of abnormal condition that makes pain, you will find a doc who will keep on writing. Yeah, some are pretty liberal with the script pad. But if you have had such a long relationship with this doctor to get super easy refills is because he believed you are trusted you. If he didn't trust you, wouldn't have been happening. Not trying to harsh on you, I'm not. But maybe he did feel you truly needed them. And yes, eventually they will cause more back pain then from when you started, that's what got me hooked and then turned into liar/actor to get me stuff.

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    tom27 is offline Member
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    well put, ya it got to a point where every 2 weeks he would call in a refill , the part that I wish was different is I wish he would have made me come see him, all if last year I think I saw him once and that was probably back in June, if he would have seen me in December he would have noticed how much weight I lost. not blaming him,I'm blaming my self ,I'm the one that was taking em,I would lie cheat and steal to get them,ya a true addict, all I know is how much better I feel about everything ,I will be counting days of being clean for a long time,Tom
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  25. #25
    tom27 is offline Member
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    well here we go on day 12, extremely irritated today, very snappy, hate everything right now,I'm sure this will pass,going to work now,how fun

  26. #26
    tom27 is offline Member
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    as of 10:40 this morning I'm on day 15, half way to my first 30 days clean, feeling pretty good, still a long way to go but this is a start

  27. #27
    tom27 is offline Member
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    boy this place is quiet today,so the day is almost over, made it through another day, for some reason the cravings were bad today,it is nice to able to eat and sleep, I guess no one posting today so ill check back in the morning

  28. #28
    Sam4499 is offline New Member
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    I'm glad to hear you are doing well, Tom. 15 days is a huge accomplishment. I'm sure 80% relapse in that time frame. My goal is 14 days. Physiologists say any human behavior can be altered after 14 days if there is sufficient mental motivation, i.e. the physical difficulty usually has passed but the mental is the ongoing battle. Meaning, I think you sound pretty motivated. You sound like me....rock bottom would be like standing on Mt. Everest. I was that far down. I'm like 39 days ct off coke and don't freakin miss it a bit. Never ever again will
    I touch it. I'd snort rat poison first. I'd rather be dead. This is Day 1 no vikes after my taper. Took a Xanax earlier. It helped a lot. Never really had one before. A buddy gave me 10 for the first few days. And I have some muscle relaxers for the evenings. And luckily I have Ambien. But even with the taper And Ambien I have been waking every night with rls. The best part of Ambien is you wake up fresh as hell. No sluggish feeling.

    Anyhow, I'm glad you are doing well. I'm going to pick up some kratom tomorrow. I've read where people swear by it for a 7-day opiate withdrawal. It's fully legal and found in hard core herbal stores. I know this isn't easy but I'm trying every angle to help get through the tough first week. I can't wait until I can go kick my dealer in the nuts and tell him to find another sucker.

    Good luck, Tom.

  29. #29
    tom27 is offline Member
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    day 16 coming up at 10:40, 420 what happened to you? I hope to God you didn't go back to the demons! Sam how you holding up through all this?

  30. #30
    tom27 is offline Member
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    the thing I dont get is the farther along I go ,the less I'm getting any feed back from anyone. I dont know if I made everyone mad or what. well anyways its my fight, I put my input in,hopefully it helped someone ,I guess its time to move on,ill check in periodically to see how everyone is doing, for those of you that helped me through the beginning thank you, just have ti find other ways to get support . everyone keep fighting,thanx again .

    P.S. on day 16 now...

    Tom

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