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Day 6 off opiates, and who I want to be 5 years from now.
  1. #31
    dsh12345 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiveYearsFromNow View Post
    Hi everyone! I just want to offer encouragement to anyone going through kicking addiction-- DON'T GIVE UP! As you can see from my thread, I had trouble quitting, and disappeared for a while using (escalating to Oxycodone)... but I'm now 2 weeks clean, going to therapy/NA, and feeling so much better. Family knows what's going on, no more secrets. My point is that I tried to quit for MONTHS. Don't get discouraged! If you only make it a few days, don't just say screw it and give up. Take what you have to, but try again! I'll check back in later, but just didn't want to be one of those sad threads where the person disappears.

    xoxoxoxox,
    5Years
    When I went CT in Summer 2016, I lasted 3 weeks. The acute WD's weren't even that bad.... lasted 3 days. I expected sunshine rainbows happiness all over when I woke up one day after the acute WD's were over because that is what I read.... but I didn't educate myself enough. After the acute WD's, there is a slow recovery of sleep/energy/mood/motivation that will take 1-3 or even longer 6-8 weeks to slowly come back and recover. I was turning the corner at the 3 week mark... sleeping somewhat regularly.. and getting my energy back.. but I dunno what it was... tired of being tired.. or getting overconfident thinking I was getting out of the woods and beating it for good... that I one day decided "ok maybe just 2-3 5mg oxycodone a day to get my energy back faster for the next 2 weeks, and then CT off of a 15mg daily oxycodone habit like its nothing no sweat zero problems zero WD from that low a dose"... WRONG... TOTAL RELAPSE.

    Now, I am on 0.5mg suboxone tapering down to off within the next week. Thirty days ago on 200-300mg oxycodone or H per day. The first 2 weeks of suboxone were tough.... no physical symptoms but yes MENTAL. The cravings were there but very mild, but the worst was the lack of motivation, depression, not able to find enjoyment in anything.... couldn't watch TV, wouldn't text my friends, no video games... didn't seem to get enjoyment about the thought of any of that. Just sat around those first 2 weeks on subs just looking at the clock waiting for the day to be over so I could cross that day off the list and move on the next day with the hopes I would wake up feeling a bit different and better. One day so desperate of just getting hte day over I found any excuse to go to sleep and just slept at 9pm.. the earliest I had slept willingly in at least ten years. I remember waking up at 5am the next day after a full nights sleep - still dark out, lookign at the clock seeing it was 5am, with 1.5 feet of fresh snow outside that just hit the east coast (this was all a month ago) thinking "holy >>>>, what the heck am i gonna do all day now to fill the time...". That was one of my worst days. I remember the worst fear I had was that I couldn't enjoy life anymore without opiates.. that opiates were just too good and I was simply faced with the reality that I might just have to go back to them forever to ever feel normal again..

    However, what kept me going was that I remember all that I accomplished in my life before I used - high school, college, graduate school, advanced degree, well paying six figure job, friends, all the happiness... and I knew that the depression/lack of motivation I was currently feeling was not real and as artificial as the high that opiates gave me because if what I was currently feeling then was truly what sober living was like I would have never even had the energy to get out of bed each day and finish grade school let alone do all the things I accomplished before I started using. So thinking abotu that really helped me.

    Anyways, the rest of my story is after I started subs 30 days ago.... the first 2 weeks were bad mentally as I just described, but the last 2 weeks I;ve turned a corner. Great energy, mood, motivation the second I wake up each day - now looking forward to the day the second I wake up. I am on 0.5mg now, set to taper off in about a week's worth of time.

    I guess my point is... that feeling of mental emptiness and cannot enjoy life without opiates... that's your brain still adjusting to not getting the high doses of opiates it is used to. That will pass, it is temporary and artificial like the opiate high was. Look at what you accomplished in your life before you started using, and ask yourself if you could have even finished the 1st grade if how you feel now when you are depressed/lethargic is your true sober self. The answer is definitely no, so how you are currently feeling is definitely fake and not real and will pass and get better. You had hobbies and interests and energy before you started using, and you WILL have hobbies and interests after as well.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-16-2017 at 07:40 PM.

  2. #32
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
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    Wow, it's been about three years since I posted anything, but I had to come back when I realized I'd become one of those long-abandoned threads with no ending I used to read all the time. It's strange reading these old posts, which seem to be written by a totally different person.

    An update: I'm just over two years clean and the only way it was remotely possible was getting onto suboxone. Now I take it every day and I know I still want to be done with even that as well, but what it did was turn a CRISIS into something slow that I can handle at my own pace without destroying my life. I know it's not possible for everyone, in every circumstance, but I really came back here to say that if you are in that "5 days clean CRISIS" (you know what I'm talking about) and you're looking at different expensive rehabs and all kinds of people telling you all kinds of things... that's the perfect time to try suboxone if you can find a doc who'll prescribe it. It's the only treatment for opiates that statistically works. And my experience has been that it's a literally life-saver.

    Hugs to anyone who finds this thread. I wish you all the best.

    5

  3. #33
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiveYearsFromNow View Post
    Wow, it's been about three years since I posted anything, but I had to come back when I realized I'd become one of those long-abandoned threads with no ending I used to read all the time. It's strange reading these old posts, which seem to be written by a totally different person.

    An update: I'm just over two years clean and the only way it was remotely possible was getting onto suboxone. Now I take it every day and I know I still want to be done with even that as well, but what it did was turn a CRISIS into something slow that I can handle at my own pace without destroying my life. I know it's not possible for everyone, in every circumstance, but I really came back here to say that if you are in that "5 days clean CRISIS" (you know what I'm talking about) and you're looking at different expensive rehabs and all kinds of people telling you all kinds of things... that's the perfect time to try suboxone if you can find a doc who'll prescribe it. It's the only treatment for opiates that statistically works. And my experience has been that it's a literally life-saver.

    Hugs to anyone who finds this thread. I wish you all the best.

    5


    Thanks for coming back to the forum and leaving an update! I get how you might feel the way you do but please understand that you are not clean! You may not be taking your drug of choice anymore but you are taking suboxone and suboxone is an opiate, a very strong one at that! Buprenorphine which is the active ingredient in suboxone is 30 times stronger than morphine! Suboxone is a partial-agonist opiate which means it doesn't get you high but fills your opiate receptors so you don't have withdrawals and cravings! I would imagine that you are on a high daily dose of subs if you are being treated by a doctor (most doctors have no clue about suboxone and prescribe way too much)? Just so you know, most patients are stable on just 2-4mg of sub per day!

    Suboxone withdrawals are way worse than full-agonist opiate (oxycodone, hydrocodone, etc...) withdrawals! You've already been on suboxone for a very long time, if I were you I would start the tapering process immediately to free yourself from this very strong dependency? The recommended taper protocol is 25% reductions every 4-7 days until you are down to .25mg/day (one quarter of one milligram) or less!

    Suboxone/buprenorphine should only be used as a last resort option after multiple failed attempts of trying to quit your doc (drug of choice) by both tapering and cold turkey methods first! And even then suboxone should be used at the lowest effective dose (on average 2-4mg/day) and ideally for six months or less, just long enough to change your addictive thoughts and behavior! After that, continued participation in twelve step programs and/or drug addiction counseling for long-term sobriety?

    Here's a direct link to Robert325's sub therapy/taper plan - https://forum.drugs.com/suboxone-tre...apy-66109.html

    Robert's plan has been used by thousands upon thousands of people with great success! You don't have to worry about the induction part of the plan if you are already using suboxone! For those who are not already on suboxone/subutex (buprenorphine) then you need to follow the induction very closely and carefully because this part of the plan is extremely important to do correctly!

    I hope this information helps you FiveYears and anybody else who happens to read this? God bless us all!

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