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Detox in full force, need help
  1. #391
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I know we probably are better off not reading about it. But its near impossible to keep sitting here doing nothing about it. I mean, I know I am not doing "nothing". I am eating well, I am exercising as much as I ca handle, I am trying to let out my feelings, but I feel this need to be able to explain to others (i,e, hubs) what is happening in my brain, esp when I know I'm the only one around here feeling the loss. Just trying to find some explanation for feeling so bad this far in. I guess there is no explanation, which is truly the most disappointing part!

  2. #392
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Going out to eat will be back later. Hope the gym went well.
    Totally stalking you now. (((hug))))
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  3. #393
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy I have a little more time on my hands during the day than you so I have researched everything. I want answers and want it to be better every bit as much. I honestly will have a tougher time than you since all my brain has known for the last 11 years is pills. Like Dave I believe they really don't know iexactly what is what. I have also read about other permanent damage we don't have blahhh blahh. I have read it all.

    What I believe is this. Our brains only know how to be happy from pills and want to be happy all the time like it was before. Our brain does not know their bad we know their bad from what we have been taught and how we feel and how it makes us react. All our brain knows is it likes it and we want more. We taught our brains to handle the good and bad with pills. Now that's all we know at this point. Our brains are like children at this point early in the game. Yes you hit it with the chocolate. IMO you can't fluctuate on what you give your brain too much of a work out means crash the next day too much chocolate crash the next day. We feel that more now and have a harder time controlling that. Most people that workout on a daily basis gets crabby on too many off days. Your football game two weeks ago same thing you crashed the next day.

    I read pill addicts which I have seen so I know it's true like thrill seeking sports. Sky diving, rock climbing. That's why I desperately and I crave it just as much as the pills is to go skiing. I want that rush. Same reason I like getting in the car turning on my hard rock music so loud with bass kicking my whoke car shakes then try to excelerate to fast speeds. I want and crave the rush everybit as I do the pills. What I know is that's not life and really the car thing is dangerous.....I only do it for two minutes just to get a little rush.

    I read there are three categories of people who recover. Some people stop craving and live normal lives and move on. Some struggle and different things will trigger there minds and they will always have those moments. Some never come out of the state we are...craving gets better they handle life better but life is always boring and dull and they never feel anything unless they do something to feed their minds the extra endorphines. I do believe all that to be true. I believe the last is for people of much longer use and harder core uses.

    What scares me the most is relapes rates. That's what I was not happy reading. That can set you up for failure reading that. I have even read by some on here that we all try to stop a few times and we fail and it's part of the course. I don't beleive that. Sometimes Dave will write something won't go into details but I know exactly what he is saying behind it and why. I spent too many hours researching.

    I think letting the brain heal and retraining it is all we can do. I think vitamins are very helpful if not for anything other than the placebo effect. Our brains found pleasure with taking a pill in hand and swallowing. We can do the same with vitamins. If the first thing we did was wake in the morning pop a pill with coffee ...guess what we can still do those same actions with a vitamin and it helps to keep routine until you can learn to cope more in the future.

    Sorry so long but thought I would summarize my hours of research and thought it would be of help to some of our followers. One thing I do know is that all the research does not help, only time and staying strong will help. Take it one day at a time!!!
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  4. #394
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Well said Sunshine!!! Stay Strong Gals!!.xoxo
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  5. #395
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    I know we probably are better off not reading about it. But its near impossible to keep sitting here doing nothing about it. I mean, I know I am not doing "nothing". I am eating well, I am exercising as much as I ca handle, I am trying to let out my feelings, but I feel this need to be able to explain to others (i,e, hubs) what is happening in my brain, esp when I know I'm the only one around here feeling the loss. Just trying to find some explanation for feeling so bad this far in. I guess there is no explanation, which is truly the most disappointing part!
    Mommy imo and I could be wrong we are all different. My husband could not even begin to understand. He doesn't understand why I am friends with people from a board. If he saw my post he would think he was married to a stranger after 23 years we have known each other. I know he should be supportive and understand after all he is your best friend your soul mate. But some journeys are yours. I think instead of trying to explain ask him for patients and understanding don't ask him to understand it's not fair. I would never in a life time understand this until I went thru this. We were happy on pills before and now were not...guess what there are people who have never done pills that become unhappy at times its life. All you can do is go about your day and try not to be angry and hurtful towards him. He will have to deal with not as happy as before, unmotivated, lack of energy wife. It's all he can do...it's all we can do...we dont want this anymore than they do.... I think your asking too much of him to understand. I told my husband I needed to go skiing no explaination, I did not say I need the rush.
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  6. #396
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning mommy!!! Cloudy skies . Another day here we go. Let's hope it's a good one. We will need to cheer the Hawks on today!! I can't wait to see the Budweiser commercial. I loved the puppy love from last year.
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  7. #397
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    While I have not began the journey, I have read this thread for weeks and respect you all. I appreciate your honesty. I feel like I have lived a lie now for several years and it is very isolating. This is a very frightening experience, but reading your posts, the good and the bad, at least I know what I can expect and I appreciate that. Everyone who posts their story and feelings have made a difference--at least in my life. Thank you.
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  8. #398
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Morning, sunshine. The weather app definitely did not lie about today. Cloudy and rainy. I'll try to see the light anyway, but have a bad feeling about today. Were supposed to go to the in laws to watch the game, but my mother is calling in a panic because her dogs are digging out of her fence and she thinks they will get hit by a car. She needs someone to come re-enforce the fence somehow, put rebar in the ground to block holes, I dunno. Hubs is a handy man, so he can do it. But I am NOT up for making a long road trip today, esp in this gloomy weather. Plus, going to see mom means that I'll also have to see sis. You already know why THAT will be a challenge in itself. Not quite ready for that. But I'm stressing bc I feel like mom needs help, a,d we are always the only ones willing to go help with hard chores. Just usually not such last minute and emergency notice.

    I had to just disappear last night bc all h-e-double hockey sticks broke loose with hubs. So, like you said, they cannot understand why we are friend with people from a board. Hubs has been trying so hard to understand that HE is following my thread. I blew up. It's like the one place I can come to say anything I feel, sometimes things I DON'T want to say to him. If I felt like I could really lean on him right now, I wouldn't be so glued to this board. I was so pissed &felt betrayed.

    I am trying to understand his side. He doesn't know what this board gives me that he is not able to, and I guess he's just trying to understand himself. But that isn't really making me feel much better. He promised to stop reading, but I'm not sure I believe him.

    Starting of stressed today.Usually I start off okay then get progressively more stressed as the day continues. Hopefully that won't be the trend today. Maybe things will go opposite... from bad to better.

  9. #399
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by hope1211 View Post
    While I have not began the journey, I have read this thread for weeks and respect you all. I appreciate your honesty. I feel like I have lived a lie now for several years and it is very isolating. This is a very frightening experience, but reading your posts, the good and the bad, at least I know what I can expect and I appreciate that. Everyone who posts their story and feelings have made a difference--at least in my life. Thank you.
    I agree with you 100% Hope. This board probably saved my life, definitely saved some of the relationships in it, no doubt. I started reading threads here a month or so before I decided I had to change. It was the sucess stories of other people that have me the courage to try myself. And, as you can tell, sunshine and I post it all out there: good days, bad days, ups and downs, because that is really what's going on. Once you make up your mind to try, it is worth the physical and mental struggle to be free from the lies.
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  10. #400
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy I was just checking in to get good vibes from you. I have to run out hubby is dragging me to thow ball. Will post more later be back soon. Start stong. Xoxoxo.
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  11. #401
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I'm digging, digging, digging deep for good vibes today..... but I'll send you some anyway.
    Throwing ball might be fun..... just pretend you are the Seahawk that, by some miracle, threw a pass to save the game in the last two minutes. Pretend you are the hero!

    It has been pouring rain here, so no outside fun. I'm glad your hubs is getting you out and moving a bit. Mine just checked out on me.... running his "errands" I'm sure. Do you still have company at home?I hope that wasn't as stressful for you as you anticipated it might be.

    My home is just as tense now as it was 33+ days ago. I swear today mentally feels like day 1. Definitely not that bad physically, but a mental mess is what I am today. Spent the last hour sobbing and filling up tissues. But getting my butt back up now. Nobody ever said it wasn't okay to cry in my pillow, so today I just let that pillow have it for a bit today, and now I am getting back up to find the titan in me again. I just hate the fighting! It makes it so much harder to keep fighting my own battle when I have to keep fighting everyone else too. Part of life I guess.

    Luckily, I do not have to make the long drive to mom.... at least not today. I convinced her to take the outside dogs to a boarding kennel until we can get the fence fixed. She doesn't like the idea, but it will at least keep the dogs safe while she gets the fence fixed. Next weekend, we will probably go with bags of concrete and rebar to make her yard impossible to dig out of. But thankfully, I avoided having to do that today. Totally not up to it.

    My biggest chore today is sitting down to pay all the bills. I hate doing this. I have always hated it because I didn't ant to see how much money we didn;t have left after my spending.... it should be better now, though I'm not sure one month was enough to get us ahead again. One day, maybe I won't dread this task so much. Once the savings start showing and I start feeling better about things in general.

  12. #402
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy glad you were not going to the inlaws. Sometimes I think it's to hard to fake it. On days like this you don't have to fight the good fight. Just stay strong!!! I always say when you can't fight do nothing. Do the bare minimum. Watch tv, do. whatever.

    You need somehow someway to find peace with hubby. He does not have to understand. He just needs to be supportive. I understand he wants to help....they think it's their job to take care of us. If we could have fixed this we already would have. He can't take care of this anymore than we are all ready doing. I can't imagine how you felt with him coming on to the board and reading. Yes it's open to anyone but at the same time to me it's a safe a place to help us.....it's our diary and he read it without your permission. It's like when I complain about hubby to my girlfriends it's a way for me to get it out and vent....my safe place to feel better. So hopefully you worked that out. I am so sorry that happened!!!

    I am so proud of you for staying strong thru this. I think that dealing with anger and hurt are two very hard emotions to work thru without pills. You did it!!!!! You are doing it!!!! I am so very very proud of you. Some days I think it is good we are not always on sync. This way I can pass you some good feelings your way!!!! Grab it....ohhhhh.....should feel it now. So much good coming your way!!!

    We threw the baseball. Actually I stood in the outfield collecting the balls. It's cloudy and now has started to rain here as well. Company was fine and they left. I hate hate paying bills!!! Causes anxiety but now it is going to be easier for you. One more month and you will start to catch up.

    Mommy I am so sorry you are having a bad day. I wish I was with you to sit on the bed and listen to you. We could braid hair. I swear by piggy braids always lift my spirits. In fact I would always do braids for my surgeries. Post back let me know how you are doing. Somehow I am going to figure a way for us to chat in private without me giving out my info to everyone. I wish there was Im on here or a private message box.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-01-2015 at 02:52 PM. Reason: Typo
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  13. #403
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Mommy I have a little more time on my hands during the day than you so I have researched everything. I want answers and want it to be better every bit as much. I honestly will have a tougher time than you since all my brain has known for the last 11 years is pills. Like Dave I believe they really don't know iexactly what is what. I have also read about other permanent damage we don't have blahhh blahh. I have read it all.

    What I believe is this. Our brains only know how to be happy from pills and want to be happy all the time like it was before. Our brain does not know their bad we know their bad from what we have been taught and how we feel and how it makes us react. All our brain knows is it likes it and we want more. We taught our brains to handle the good and bad with pills. Now that's all we know at this point. Our brains are like children at this point early in the game. Yes you hit it with the chocolate. IMO you can't fluctuate on what you give your brain too much of a work out means crash the next day too much chocolate crash the next day. We feel that more now and have a harder time controlling that. Most people that workout on a daily basis gets crabby on too many off days. Your football game two weeks ago same thing you crashed the next day.

    I read pill addicts which I have seen so I know it's true like thrill seeking sports. Sky diving, rock climbing. That's why I desperately and I crave it just as much as the pills is to go skiing. I want that rush. Same reason I like getting in the car turning on my hard rock music so loud with bass kicking my whoke car shakes then try to excelerate to fast speeds. I want and crave the rush everybit as I do the pills. What I know is that's not life and really the car thing is dangerous.....I only do it for two minutes just to get a little rush.

    I read there are three categories of people who recover. Some people stop craving and live normal lives and move on. Some struggle and different things will trigger there minds and they will always have those moments. Some never come out of the state we are...craving gets better they handle life better but life is always boring and dull and they never feel anything unless they do something to feed their minds the extra endorphines. I do believe all that to be true. I believe the last is for people of much longer use and harder core uses.

    What scares me the most is relapes rates. That's what I was not happy reading. That can set you up for failure reading that. I have even read by some on here that we all try to stop a few times and we fail and it's part of the course. I don't beleive that. Sometimes Dave will write something won't go into details but I know exactly what he is saying behind it and why. I spent too many hours researching.

    I think letting the brain heal and retraining it is all we can do. I think vitamins are very helpful if not for anything other than the placebo effect. Our brains found pleasure with taking a pill in hand and swallowing. We can do the same with vitamins. If the first thing we did was wake in the morning pop a pill with coffee ...guess what we can still do those same actions with a vitamin and it helps to keep routine until you can learn to cope more in the future.

    Sorry so long but thought I would summarize my hours of research and thought it would be of help to some of our followers. One thing I do know is that all the research does not help, only time and staying strong will help. Take it one day at a time!!!
    I have read this over and over. All makes complete sense. You are right about the extra workout, the football game excitement, and chocolate binge. I'm just frantically searching for ways to FEEL better, still obsessed with the reward system... how long until I get to.....????.... just be happy, really? I know the truth is that there is no timeline. Only Patience. Just seems wrong to feel so down, when you want so badly to feel up. From the get go, we said a roller coaster....that's exactly what its like, but without the fun speed rush

    I did read a few things that showed brain images before and after use of all kinds of things. The pics looked like the brain was recovering over time, I didn't read closely enough really... but it seemed to suggest that the brain can fully recover..... if given enough TIME.

  14. #404
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    I think it does recover without a doubt. The problem is it remembers. How well it holds onto that memory and how deeply we engraved the reward system will be something different for all of us. I know I am going to have to make major changes if I want to not relapse. I will have to find more to do and get a job. That is another story for another time.

    Imo honestly I don't think we are finding happiness any time soon. Yes I do believe happiness will come but to me we need to find peace first. Not to say we are not going to have happy days as we will feel happiness in good things that come, ie..trip to Disney with daughter, sitting on the beach with a bff. I think we still need to figure out how to handle stress, anger, and also we need to make it thru days without the anxiety. Until we can conquer all that walking around being happy all the time is not going to happen. I know it is so hard. My son turned 16 and I should have been so happy but I barely had the motivation to put up crate paper in his room and get balloons. My hubby ran out to get the cake. It's so heart wrenching.

    I do think my post came out good I always say you are the better writer and have more inspiration. With that keep feeding your brain but try and keep it on an even key so you don't have the hard crash. Xoxxoxo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-01-2015 at 03:27 PM.
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  15. #405
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Thank for for the virtual hugs, much needed and appreciated! I am better now that I got the cry out. Sometimes you just gotta cry, ya know. Pills made it where I hardly cried over anything (except maybe not having enough pills). So, I am getting back up on top. I am just gonna make peace with it, for myself. I can't control anything right now but myself. So, peace is the focus for sure. For MY sake.

    Trying to look at the positive side,as I know you would be able to do. Why would he want to read it unless he really wanted to understand? He knows he does not understand. He knows he cannot fix it. He does more chores now, helps with dinner now, he has taken on a lot of responsibility so that I could take a break from it all. He didn't see it as the betrayal that I did, bc he thought it would help him understand what I am really feeling every day, when I really don't say anything to him aside from small talk these days. It's like men from mars, women from venus. It meant something totally different to him, than it did to me. I asked him, "did it make you feel any better about things to read what I write?" He admitted not really, lol. But he also said he was very proud of how many people have responded to us positively. He is proud of me. And I think reading my posts was just a way to feel closer to me, since I have definitely distanced myself lately. A man's good intentions. Makes no sense through MY eyes, but I get how it could make sense through his.

    I'm just gonna let it go and trust that he will stop reading. That's all I can do. Otherwise, it's me who sits here being all angry and eaten up about it, when it really doesn't matter.

    On the up side.....my kiddo is going to be SOOOO excited at Katy Perry halftime show. I can't wait to watch my girl dance and half sing to the songs. I'm excited about that. And also excited that I am NOT going anywhere today. Today is a ME day...... right after I finish giving my money to the bills, which is currently my biggest worry & dread. I can't complain too bad, it's a do-able task, I just don't WANNA do it!

  16. #406
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    I love it when we are posting at the same time!!!!!! Yes I am sure his intentions were good. We are emotional and women. So I think you are correct in taking the higher road. He is a good hubby he just can't understand...really I can't understand my brain these days. Oh those bills. I try and avoid it as much as possible. Why it causes anxiety I do not know. Guess its just something I don't enjoy and the brain flips out with anything unpleasant. Brain please heal faster. Mommy and I so need it.

    So I must ask what hubby thought of me!!!!! Lol
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  17. #407
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    I just re-read your post and really hubby was kinda of sweet. He is correct how could he feel any better I think if anything it made him feel more frustrated for you and that made him feel worse that he can't help. Good thing is he knows...my husband is trying as well. He always is pushing me to get out of the house and never gives me grief about not cooking. His thing is he doesn't like to see me in pain that's when things become a little messy for us. Maybe it's a good thing as now he gets he can't fix you and he just needs to give it time.

    Mommy I am so sick of the give it time thing!!! Today I am having a better day so it's not as bad - my weekends are better I have hubby and kids around. But the time thing is truly becoming a broken record for us!!! Oh well I guess we just keep complaining about it until it gets better.
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  18. #408
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    I love it when we are posting at the same time!!!!!! Yes I am sure his intentions were good. We are emotional and women. So I think you are correct in taking the higher road. He is a good hubby he just can't understand...really I can't understand my brain these days. Oh those bills. I try and avoid it as much as possible. Why it causes anxiety I do not know. Guess its just something I don't enjoy and the brain flips out with anything unpleasant. Brain please heal faster. Mommy and I so need it.

    So I must ask what hubby thought of me!!!!! Lol
    He is glad I have you. He may be a little bit jealous, lol. No doubt, you know what my feelings are far better than he does right now. But he understands its not his fault for not understanding. What IS is fault is staying mixed up in the business. That just adds to resentment.... him being strong enough to have "just one", yet I am not so strong? He feels guilty because he knew what was happening the last few years. He just said, kinda like your hubby did "that wouldn't happen to ME". Whatdaya know? It sure did. And he knows he was a source. THAT is something he can fix.

    It was funny when I did ask him if he felt better after reading what I write here.... his response was a face like "oh h-e-double hockeysticks no" Kinda like one of those things you cannot "unsee", lol. I think he was more shocked. Like he never even realized. It actually probably gave him insight. The overall sentiment ended with he was proud of US. I'm just trying to be grateful that he cares, what if it were the other way around?
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-01-2015 at 04:02 PM. Reason: typo

  19. #409
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    I just re-read your post and really hubby was kinda of sweet. He is correct how could he feel any better I think if anything it made him feel more frustrated for you and that made him feel worse that he can't help. Good thing is he knows...my husband is trying as well. He always is pushing me to get out of the house and never gives me grief about not cooking. His thing is he doesn't like to see me in pain that's when things become a little messy for us. Maybe it's a good thing as now he gets he can't fix you and he just needs to give it time.

    Mommy I am so sick of the give it time thing!!! Today I am having a better day so it's not as bad - my weekends are better I have hubby and kids around. But the time thing is truly becoming a broken record for us!!! Oh well I guess we just keep complaining about it until it gets better.
    And the time seriously passes so much slower on dark, riny days like this one. I am convinced the weather contributes to my overall mood. Not that even the sunniest of days has been GREAT, it seems that in general it has been much easier for me to get up and moving when the day is pretty outside. I'dsay lemme check the weather app, but....

  20. #410
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    Mommy no doubt and I have said it for years.....I am addicted to the sun!!! That's one addiction I will never go without. You will never see me live in Alaska or Seattle. I am sure you are the same. We grew up living near the beach. I try not to think about it as I can't change it but it would have been nice some how if the cards fell so we both did this in June >> jan at the same time.

    That's funny about hubby. Oh you have no idea the shock my husband would be in if he read my post. Maybe he has??? I doubt it we are not social network kinda people I never check the fb and don't have any of the other stuff going on. Especially now....oh let me take a selfie to show how happy I am......lol

    I hope jaa is doing ok we have not heard from her in awhile.... I know it is hard on her she was at this as long as me. Sushine only had a year on her and she sounded like she was doing better.
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  21. #411
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    I know, I checked for jaa. Maybe just hitting a down spell and feeling like not posting.

    Hubby was quite funny. I think he got more than he bargained for upon his reading. To find out just how effin' crazy I really am.... I think he might keep a safe distance for a while LOL kidding....... sort of.

    Gosh, I do not like Tom Brady..... but he sure is cute

    And the Hawks come out to Bittersweet Symphony..... I like it.

    But still..... humph.

  22. #412
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    Oh yea on the looks!! There are a few others on there as well. Lol...I am sure he was on the shocked side. Well at least he knows that it's not just you, at least me being wackwd out together had to make him feel better. Hubby no worries she's not the only one.
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  23. #413
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    I've had a rough couple of days.... especially for it having been the weekend.... and my posts were all mostly negative, in some form or fashion. So, today I wanted to share something of a slightly different tone.

    Today started out bad. I woke myself up anxious long before the alarms were even supposed to go off. That's the first time in a while that has happened, which kind of freaked me out (I did not sign up for this to feel like I am moving backwards). It was cloudy and gray and cold and work was the last thing I wanted to do. But, as usual I kept putting one foot in front of the other, mostly feeling sorry for myself the whole time. Then, almost as soon as I had resigned myself to just adding another bad day to my counter, here comes somebody that I used to know..... ME. I taught those classes like a champ today. It was BETTER than floating through them with a pill. I actually had fun again doing my job, which I always used to before the pills took over everything. I couldn't remember that until today though. I actually enjoyed myself, at work. Been a LONG time since that happened (even on the pills, by the end everything was miserable).

    I'm posting this to give HOPE, that maybe when you feel the most like giving up, that's when even one little thing may lift your spirits long enough for you to see the old, happy you again. I didn't think that version of me was still in there, and post 30 whatever something days clean, I was beginning to give up hope that I'd ever see that me again. When I least expected her, there she came.

    Still a roller coaster, I started out low, worked my way out of it, and am CURRENTLY feeling pretty good. I know better than to "count my chickens before they hatch" so to speak. With every up, there will be a down. I just felt encouraged today, that I, just little ole me, turned my day around. Never thought I could have and wanted to tell everyone not to give up.
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  24. #414
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    So very happy. That strong and happy girl has come back to life!!!! I could not be more proud you have worked so hard for it and deserve it!! Finally happening just like Dave said. At least we know it is there and coming back!!! I posted awhile ago that we needed that one day just to give us hope and it finally came!!! You worked so hard doe this.....soon you will be going out for that dinner to celebrate with hubby!!!
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  25. #415
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    It felt good to actually FEEL different, progressive. I am not fooling myself into big expectations for tomorrow, or the next day, or even next week. I know all too well where the high expectations lead me, right to the bottom of a barrel of disappointment! But it was great to feel it when I WASN'T expecting it. I'm now back to my lazy unmotivated, stationary butt to the couch mommy, but today gave me a little ray of hope. Maybe I WILL come back recovered, just with memorable scars. My hubs does physical/trade work, and he has hurt himself/ER visits far more times than a human should, so he is covered in scars and has always said...... no scars, no stories!
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  26. #416
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Glad to hear YOU have a Good Day Mommy.....Treasure those Moments!! They WILL come more often than the first month.....still....You and Sunshine are gonna need patience....and each other....Keep doing this....One Moment at a Time.....Thanks for sharing a Good Day....at least a Better Day!! It's been pretty Gloomy around this City Today....Everybody Blaming Coach for the Call to Pass the Ball....etc!!! Then they start talking about....How Lucky we were to Just have been in the BIG game....which is TRUE....But doesn't take away that Sting....of Being 18 inches from a second Super Bowl Win....Oh Well....It is JUST a game after all.....The Game of Life that WE are Playing is MUCH more important!! I Hope and Pray your Tuesday goes pretty well too!! Stay Strong Mommy...and Sunshine!!.xoxo
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  27. #417
    kathycz is offline New Member
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    Sunshine and Mommy, you are both my daily inspiration! I'm sending you both a BIG (((((HUG))))) and a big Thank you for helping me realize I am not alone in this mess! Hope you both have a great day!!
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  28. #418
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Kathy thank you for the support. You are not alone. So many of us going thru the same thing. I am so glad we were here to help and inspire others with our journey.
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  29. #419
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Riding on the coat-tails of yesterdays moment of UP. Today was an ok day. Anxiety was big in the morning, woke me up again (the cat came back, the very next day..... lol) but I started playing my itunes soon as I woke up to shower, and the music is helping me a lot. I made what I call my "Titan Playlist". And i almost caught myself singing along today....just because. Kinda of a "whoa, did I just do THAT?" moment. Music is helping me a great deal right now.

    Work went really good, considering what my expectations were from the day before. It wasn't all smooth, but it didn't get to me bad enough to feel like passing out throat chops. Almost finding it easier to go to work than be home on weekends right now.... staying busier, I guess. Keeps the mind focused on something besides myself.

    Came home and really did cook, a real meal. Beef tips sauteed in mushroom sauce, with steamed asparagus and baked sweet potato. I have to pat myself on the back for that one. I think evenDad would have approved

    However, there is now a MOUNTAIN of dishes in the sink and kiddos room literally looks like a tornado hit it (what happens when I spend a half hour focused on the kitchen). Ah well. Back to stationary butt to couch mommy again. Maybe hubs will do all the dirty work, lol
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-03-2015 at 08:07 PM. Reason: typo

  30. #420
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    All it takes is one good day!! You are a true inspiration to all of us!!! How mommy got her groove back!!! Oh yea!!! I think when you can go 5 days in a row without a bad day you get to have a sweet dinner to celebrate with hubby!!!!

    That dinner sounded so good.....then I thought about the table conversation.....hmmmmm....give me a month to study and set me a plate!!!
    Sadmommy13 likes this.

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