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Detox in full force, need help
  1. #421
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Yes, I will make that a goal, a contract if you will.

    A reward of some kind, any effin' kind, is what I really want. Although I should see just having a good day as a reward, I know better than to bank on it. But you're right-- a 5 day decent streak and we're goin to eat Thai.

    It's all still so bittersweet......

  2. #422
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Really busy work day, feeling pretty exhausted at the moment. Still managed to get through the day, enjoy the actual teaching part of my job, plus get out of lab soon enough to spend an hour at the gym before having to pick up kiddo. My free membership was up today..... so I signed up for real. This is at the gym a block from kiddo's daycare, not the first one I tried so far away. Now that I have paid for it, there is no going back for me. I hate wasting money..... wait.... that's a messed up statement coming from me. I have wasted a ton of money on nothing but sickness. But... that was a DIFFERENT me. I pent this investing in my health. So, I will learn to become a gym rat

    Luckily, we had enough leftovers from my cooking yesterday that we had just that, leftovers. I don't care....no one is starving, lol. But, tonight is kinda harder for me. It's Hubs >>>>> night, they only play once a month after payday. This is the first night I have had to care for kiddo, furkids, and myself, all on my own, without having my motivational crutch. Normally, kiddo and I would have our "girls night" while Daddy went to boys night. We would paint fingernails and toenails, and just do girly stuff. So, I am sad tonight that it's out girls night, and I just don't FEEL like getting up anymore today. Still have to tackle her bath time and bed time on my own, plus finish all laundry and prep for tomorrow. Feeling discouraged at the lack of wanting to do it all. I want to be a titan, feeling like a lazy butt.
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  3. #423
    TigerLily32 is offline Senior Member
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    Informative sunshine and a little scary

    I was a coffee in the mornin and pop a pill kinda gal so I like the idea of the vitamin instead. Can't hurt!

    See, all your time researching helped out more people then you know!
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  4. #424
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Thank you tiger I think I will copy and paste on my thread as well. It turned out to be more like a novel...lol
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  5. #425
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy you have done so much already in the day and at least you had healthy left overs. Our dinner came from a box in the freezer. You can always cuddle on the sofa together. I hate to waste money as well. So at least you will use your membership. Did you ever try the tanning bed? Funny how my brain was hapoy to spend money on pills but not happy about spending it on getting clean. Xoxxoxo
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  6. #426
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    Really busy work day, feeling pretty exhausted at the moment. Still managed to get through the day, enjoy the actual teaching part of my job, plus get out of lab soon enough to spend an hour at the gym before having to pick up kiddo. My free membership was up today..... so I signed up for real. This is at the gym a block from kiddo's daycare, not the first one I tried so far away. Now that I have paid for it, there is no going back for me. I hate wasting money..... wait.... that's a messed up statement coming from me. I have wasted a ton of money on nothing but sickness. But... that was a DIFFERENT me. I pent this investing in my health. So, I will learn to become a gym rat

    Luckily, we had enough leftovers from my cooking yesterday that we had just that, leftovers. I don't care....no one is starving, lol. But, tonight is kinda harder for me. It's Hubs >>>>> night, they only play once a month after payday. This is the first night I have had to care for kiddo, furkids, and myself, all on my own, without having my motivational crutch. Normally, kiddo and I would have our "girls night" while Daddy went to boys night. We would paint fingernails and toenails, and just do girly stuff. So, I am sad tonight that it's out girls night, and I just don't FEEL like getting up anymore today. Still have to tackle her bath time and bed time on my own, plus finish all laundry and prep for tomorrow. Feeling discouraged at the lack of wanting to do it all. I want to be a titan, feeling like a lazy butt.
    The deleted part wasn't dirty....LOL.....they play cards, where you want a full house, etc. Not THAT bad. Jst a guys night, haha

  7. #427
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Mommy you have done so much already in the day and at least you had healthy left overs. Our dinner came from a box in the freezer. You can always cuddle on the sofa together. I hate to waste money as well. So at least you will use your membership. Did you ever try the tanning bed? Funny how my brain was hapoy to spend money on pills but not happy about spending it on getting clean. Xoxxoxo
    Yeah still a girls night. We are watching Ariel II so she is happily occupied for the moment at least. And we are having "some" chocolate and ice cream (no over doing it, lol). It's still okay, I just can't imagine getting the energy to bathe this child. She is a titan too, just by nature. Hardheaded and 3. She listens better to Daddy's deep voice, so the discipline works better when he is here. But I am still using him coming home and be being a tattletale on her to threaten. I sound like a little kid myself right now "I'm gonna tell Daddy if you don't....."

    I didn't try the tanning bad yet, but it comes with the membership. Since it is free now, I'm sure I will end up giving it a go once we have more than one or two days with no real sun.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-04-2015 at 09:23 PM. Reason: typo

  8. #428
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TigerLily32 View Post
    Informative sunshine and a little scary

    I was a coffee in the mornin and pop a pill kinda gal so I like the idea of the vitamin instead. Can't hurt!

    See, all your time researching helped out more people then you know!
    The whole concept what what is happening to us all is scary! I appreciated knowing the truth about what to expect, or not to expect. The TRUTH will set you free!
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  9. #429
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    OMGoodness, the bath has nearly worn me out. I am going to have to start lifting more weight or something. She thinks she's still a "baby" but she's a 35 lb 3yr old and out of the bath.... a water logged one at that. Sp heavy!And she wants me to lift her up to the mirror to do "pretend pull ups" on the shower rack, like Daddy always does. I managed to her her through about 3.5 pull ups before I near gave out, lol. Read 2 Dr. Suess books..... have no idea what I read but those nonsense rhymes made more sense to me than ever before..... Dr. Suess was trippin on acid. And at present time, I'd give it a shot just to FEEL something, ANYTHING, fuzzy just to take away the sheer amount of STUFF/TASKS/RESPONSIBILITIES I have dealt with today!!!!!!!!!!!!!Past my limit, I tell you, FAAAAAR past my limit. AHHHHHH!

    Between feeding the kiddo (even just heating leftovers), feeding my army of furkids, getting breakfast and lunch prepped for tomorrow, getting everyone's clothes ready for tomorrow..... I am so effin' beat down. First time in over 30 days I have done an entire's days chores, plus work and exercise, all by myself. I have not wanted a pill as badly in literally at least a week....no, no I take that back..... I DON'T really want a pill, I just want enough ENERGY to get it all done in one day. I could smother hubs with a pillow for boys night this time.... although I don;t blame him, never have wanted to keep him from having temporary man moments doing his OWN thing. I really don't care, but right now I am just TOO TIRED to finish it all. ugh. I have not been butt to the couch mommy tonight, that's for darn sure. And I am feeling every bit of the fatigue. Stillgotta get the clothes out of the dryer, or everyone's clothes will be a wrinkled mess for work/school tomorrow.

    It WAS a good day,work wise, mood wise---- but boys night took on a whole new meaning this time. IDO want him to have his own time. But this i the first time in years this night happened without my having a fuzzy binge to push me through it all on my own. I am beat. Dreading how exhausted I will be tomorrow....although the weather man (humph)says there is a "slight" chance for us to be getting a snow (ice) day tomorrow,, so I could possibly luck out and get the free day off of work due to weather. But not getting my hopes up. Tomorrow is my ALL organic day, no way I could be that lucky..... keeping my expectations low.

  10. #430
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    daaaaaaavvvvvve....... tell me it is okay to feel this defeated. Nothing but ups then downs today. Feeling like I have to catch a break. Hallmark post, please, when you have a chance. Although I understand if your wounds are still fresh.... totally kidding .... just needing some reinforcements!
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  11. #431
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Of course it's OK Mommy!! YOU are just Plain FEELING.....Period!! Look at everything YOU are Doing....Working....Working Out.....Taking care of Kiddo.....And....with ALL that...taking the time to Post the Journey on here....which by the way....Is a VERY HUGE accomplishment in itself!! Congrats to YOU and Sunshine for Your dedication to posting your Daily activities.....and keeping it REAL!! People are Reading these threads of You and Sunshine.....and believe ME....Your giving MANY....HOPE....the Ones out their sitting on the fence....wondering if they have the courage to Jump.....There are Sooo Many people out their in Cyber Space.....reading....but fearful....scared....afraid of the UNKNOWN!! You Two are telling them how it Can be done!! You are BOTH starting to throw in a Good Day now and then....when just awhile back.....wondered if You'd EVER have Good Days?? I'm not saying there FANTASTIC Days.....But....Better....Right?? Ups and Downs....You bet....That's just the way it goes for awhile.....But keep your eye on the Prize....The Ups WILL begin to outweigh the Downs!!!! Look at what YOUR doing....were YOU going to the Gym before...like a month and a half ago.....Fact is....when We are in the Grips of the BEAST....WE ARE NUMB.....Numb to Life....Numb to our feelings......Takes some getting used to....But You TWO are Doing AWESOME!!! Just keep living Moment to Moment!! Keep telling US how Each day is....Good or bad!! Stay Strong Titans!!..Accountability...Move beyond victimhood...and find freedom!! When we are personally accountable, we are willing to accept the consequences of our actions!! In recovery we learn to move away from the mindset of being a victim, believing things happen to us without our consent or influence, and embrace the mindset that we are accountable for everything that happens in our life!! As we become accountable we start moving with the flow of life, no longer stuck in resistance and resentment!!.xoxo
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  12. #432
    Almost-Free is offline Member
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    Hi mommy

    Please know that so many are rooting for you. After joining this board I saw your thread and your openness and honesty has helped so many of us. Don't beat yourself up...you're doing an amazing job of taking care of yourself while inspiring so many to start or stick to their own journey.

    Thinking of you!
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  13. #433
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy of course you were down after your day it was 11:00 and you did all that. You should give yourself a huge pat on the back. Next month it will be soo much easier the first time is always the hardest but now you know it can be done. Next month you make sure you have left overs and possibley the night before get the extra laundry done. I am so proud of you!!!

    You will rock the organ chem...,you have rocked all your classes this week and today will be no different. Keep the music jamming and all will be good. Have a good day and power thru it.

    As for me I woke up again at 4......third night in a row with less than 5.5 hours sleep. Of course I woke with anxiety. I dont know what it is with me and mornings but going to try and power thru my walk and spend a little time on my project today. And the grocery store or no one will be eating in my home if I don't make that happen.

    Sending out rays of sunshine for you. Xoxxoxo
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  14. #434
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks guys! That is EXACTLY the kind of reinforcements I needed to wake up to. The positive part about my exhausting day and night is that I slept like a ROCK. I dont even know if I tossed and turned at all. So, least I will face my hard organic day with a good night's rest. Titan Playlist already going..... getting myself pumped up..... I've got this day beat already. It's all in my head.... my crazy little ole head, lol.

    At least the sun is out. Freezing cold, but sunny. If I don't get to stay home, I will at least appreciate being able to bask in the sunshine..... from the window inside my warm office

    Have a great day all. I will be back to check in soon as I catch a free break! xoxxo to all

  15. #435
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy some how I missed the post yesterday on tigers page about your piggy braids. Lol.....I loved it you brought a big smile to my face. I don't know why but they make me feel good.....there fun. Especially when the sun leaves for days. My niece actually can do amazing braids she does the fish tails, and french.

    Got the walk in, avoided the project so now I am going to hit it head on.
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  16. #436
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Missing you all very much today! Struggling, and disappointed from it. My colleague just had his father pass away. He & I aren't really super close, but we are office neighbors- he teaches physics. I feel so deeply the hurt. In office with door shut trying to keep from sobbing before lab in a few min..... Emotional flood. Not to mention my dad was an organic chemistry teacher for near 40 years..... Today is all organic, and just memories.....I was always better at the math areas of chemistry, organic never my best. But he always said "you can't call yourself a true chemist until you're an organic chemist, bc that's what the whole subject is about!" Anyway, emotions running wild today. Just keeping the playlist going & stepping along.

    At least it is sunny. There's a positive. So, I'm off to organic lab.... Talk about bittersweet, pray I don't burst into tears please! Xoxoxo Back ASAP! Hope you had an awesome walk sunshine! Thinking of piggy braiding my hair for this lab today! Lol

  17. #437
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    So sorry. These are the hard days when all we want to do is plow thru and be strong and then something throws us a punch in the stomach. Then we feel like we are not strong. These are normal emotions that we all have. You being upset means you are compassionate, caring, and a good person. We are suppose to feel this way. What you are doing is amazing you are allowing your dad to live on thru his teachings and his memory and that my friend is a very very good thing. He would be so proud of you for teaching organic chemistry and remembering what he taught you. Lol....I still can not imagine the table conversations in your house.

    I know you miss him and my heart goes out to you on these days. If it makes you feel any better I am getting thru the day but not feeling strong. I need to wear my braids today as well. lol.....when the anxiety got bad I found the stash of chocolate.....hmmm wonder where I got that from....... I forgot all about about them and decided to give my brain something. I pushed my walk today where I actually jogged part of it. So now I have sore muscles again...... Post back I will be here. Big hugs today. Xoxxoxo
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  18. #438
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Glad to see your post when I got back home. I made organic lab a worksheet day. Just didn't have the energy left in me to get them in the lab actually doing a synthesis today. So, that got me out a little bit earlier than I would have normally on a Thursday. I skipped the gym though. I reminded myself that some days, I don't have to try any harder. Thursdays are hard for me in general, then feeling sad on top of being busy and stressed, I just skipped. I have only missed one day in over a week, though, so I am not going to beat myself up about it. I just know I am already missing that little boost of energy that the exercise gives me. Normally I come home with a little fuel left to get some chores done before I become butt to the couch. Today, I managed to feed the pets and pour a few cans of soup in a pot for dinner. It will do.... as I said before, no one is starving. Thankfully, hubby will be home tonight and I won't have to battle the rest of the chores on my own.

    Just feeling down and sad. I know I am entitled to. What can I expect.... push away the grief for so long with pills, eventually it has to come out and today was definitely a trigger. I stopped crying long enough to finish the lab worksheets, but back to emotional now. At least with soup there is no clean up, no dishes, and sooner rather than later, I'll be in my pjs on the couch for the rest of this evening! I am done with this day! Physically and mentally!

    Hope you're not too sore from the jog! I hope it felt good to push yourself just a little, but I'll tell you the same as you tell me.... baby steps. Especially with that chocolate, lol.

  19. #439
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy we had a very early and easy dinner....chili. I looked at the the clock and it's only six....too early for pjs and to crawl in bed with tv.

    This post is taking me way too long. I don't know what to say??? I wish there was something to say to make you feel better but there is nothing. Dave.... hallmark post is all I can say. Really that won't help but knowing we are both here supporting you and sending, hugs, beams of sun, braids, good vibes, etc. helps to know you are not alone.

    Personally I think it is good to give your body a break from excercise. I don't walk on the weekends or rain but usually my hubby has us doing something riding a bike throwing ball but it is not as intense as my walks. I feel so lame when I say walks as everyone is hitting the gym. Really I have a some intense hills and I walk on trails to the lake just want to clarify again it's not the flat track or mall walking.

    I am here if you need me. Just shout and I will be there in a flash .
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  20. #440
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Mommy some how I missed the post yesterday on tigers page about your piggy braids. Lol.....I loved it you brought a big smile to my face. I don't know why but they make me feel good.....there fun. Especially when the sun leaves for days. My niece actually can do amazing braids she does the fish tails, and french.

    Got the walk in, avoided the project so now I am going to hit it head on.
    I have always wanted to be really good at those cool braids! When I was little, probably until I was like 7 actually, whenever someone asked what I wanted to be when I grow up, I would always say Rapunzel (from the original radish version, way before the Disney version). Anyway, point I fought every time I had to have a hair cut, and only once in my life has it been shorter than my shoulders. So I have always worn braids! Pretty cool, another common thread. But have never been good at the cool kinds, usually just simple. But every school picture I have I think, I was wearing my long piggy braids.

  21. #441
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Mommy we had a very early and easy dinner....chili. I looked at the the clock and it's only six....too early for pjs and to crawl in bed with tv.

    This post is taking me way too long. I don't know what to say??? I wish there was something to say to make you feel better but there is nothing. Dave.... hallmark post is all I can say. Really that won't help but knowing we are both here supporting you and sending, hugs, beams of sun, braids, good vibes, etc. helps to know you are not alone.

    Personally I think it is good to give your body a break from excercise. I don't walk on the weekends or rain but usually my hubby has us doing something riding a bike throwing ball but it is not as intense as my walks. I feel so lame when I say walks as everyone is hitting the gym. Really I have a some intense hills and I walk on trails to the lake just want to clarify again it's not the flat track or mall walking.

    I am here if you need me. Just shout and I will be there in a flash .
    Oh, there is not really anything you should feel pressured to say! It is part of a grieving process I rejected, I think for me to heal I have to admit it's ok to feel it. Trying to see it as positive. I was thinking I probably needed to go to counseling, which still isn't out of the question, but that's not exactly free with our insurance. So, I'm trying to look at this as free therapy. I guess that kind of sounds awful, using my co worker's misfortune for myself. But I'm not exactly TRYING to be sad for myself, either. I AM sad for him, heartbroken for him actually. Just a trigger for me, too. Just trying to see the emotions today as a healing thing. I'm okay. Just wish I could "take" something, or even just DO something, to lessen the feelings and stress.

    I understand about your walks. The majority of the time I am at the gym, I am on the treadmill or the bike. I only use the weight machines maybe 20 minutes of the hour I am there. So, I mostly just walk, too, set the treadmill to hills and such. Mostly because I am so cold natured, I cannot stand to walk outside in the cold. And it is cold for me here. High today was 40 I think. Even in the sun, that makes me freezing. Gym just lets be do the walking inside. I'll be spending more outside time ASAP, weather depending of course.

    I saw this funny pic on the web today. It was a picture of a wolf's face, looking very full and satisfied. The caption said "The groundhog said we were in for 6 more weeks of winter...... so I ate him" It made me LOL
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  22. #442
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    I was hopig that when I originally posted about that you did not think I was taking pills......lol.....it sounds crazy but they make me feel good. And your hair does not get tangled. I love piggy in French braids starting at the front and going all the way down right behind the ear so you can see them from the front on each side but still see the French effect Then we do the fishtail in one big braid tapering to the side...I wore it that way on New Years eve for a party. Funny part is she can not do the braids on herself and I can only do regular piggys. Tighter the better I help hold and make her pull,so the scalp hurts when she braids. Maybe not very professional but always lift my spirits.

    I bet your daughter would love for you both to have braids at the same time. My daughter has the best braider around and doesn't like it. When we make her wear it especially the fish tail all the other girls would love it. She is a little Tom boy... She actually has played baseball for four years and played up for her age last year. Now everyone knows her but in the beginning it was always...look there's a girl on our team, then they realized she was better than some of the boys. She has always been very little for her age....so all the moms always have that worried look when she gets up to bat. When she gets hurt everyone is like so worried except me....she is tough.
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  23. #443
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    I was hopig that when I originally posted about that you did not think I was taking pills......lol.....it sounds crazy but they make me feel good. And your hair does not get tangled. I love piggy in French braids starting at the front and going all the way down right behind the ear so you can see them from the front on each side but still see the French effect Then we do the fishtail in one big braid tapering to the side...I wore it that way on New Years eve for a party. Funny part is she can not do the braids on herself and I can only do regular piggys. Tighter the better I help hold and make her pull,so the scalp hurts when she braids. Maybe not very professional but always lift my spirits.

    I bet your daughter would love for you both to have braids at the same time. My daughter has the best braider around and doesn't like it. When we make her wear it especially the fish tail all the other girls would love it. She is a little Tom boy... She actually has played baseball for four years and played up for her age last year. Now everyone knows her but in the beginning it was always...look there's a girl on our team, then they realized she was better than some of the boys. She has always been very little for her age....so all the moms always have that worried look when she gets up to bat. When she gets hurt everyone is like so worried except me....she is tough.
    Oh his kid drives me CRAZY with her hair every single day. She has these beautiful blonde waves, that I want to brush and play with and put in "hair tails" (her word for a pony tail or pig tails)...... but she hates for me to even touch her hair! It is a battle to wash it, battle to brush it, she refuses to wear a bow..... for me. Now let her spend an evening with the sitter, my sister, her other aunts, grandmas, she will let them ALL do cute stuff to her hair. But it is and alays has been off limits for me! She is crazy, and lucky she's so cute bc she makes me crazy sometimes, too! lol It's a battle every morning to just BRUSH IT.

  24. #444
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davepeerson View Post
    Of course it's OK Mommy!! YOU are just Plain FEELING.....Period!! Look at everything YOU are Doing....Working....Working Out.....Taking care of Kiddo.....And....with ALL that...taking the time to Post the Journey on here....which by the way....Is a VERY HUGE accomplishment in itself!! Congrats to YOU and Sunshine for Your dedication to posting your Daily activities.....and keeping it REAL!! People are Reading these threads of You and Sunshine.....and believe ME....Your giving MANY....HOPE....the Ones out their sitting on the fence....wondering if they have the courage to Jump.....There are Sooo Many people out their in Cyber Space.....reading....but fearful....scared....afraid of the UNKNOWN!! You Two are telling them how it Can be done!! You are BOTH starting to throw in a Good Day now and then....when just awhile back.....wondered if You'd EVER have Good Days?? I'm not saying there FANTASTIC Days.....But....Better....Right?? Ups and Downs....You bet....That's just the way it goes for awhile.....But keep your eye on the Prize....The Ups WILL begin to outweigh the Downs!!!! Look at what YOUR doing....were YOU going to the Gym before...like a month and a half ago.....Fact is....when We are in the Grips of the BEAST....WE ARE NUMB.....Numb to Life....Numb to our feelings......Takes some getting used to....But You TWO are Doing AWESOME!!! Just keep living Moment to Moment!! Keep telling US how Each day is....Good or bad!! Stay Strong Titans!!..Accountability...Move beyond victimhood...and find freedom!! When we are personally accountable, we are willing to accept the consequences of our actions!! In recovery we learn to move away from the mindset of being a victim, believing things happen to us without our consent or influence, and embrace the mindset that we are accountable for everything that happens in our life!! As we become accountable we start moving with the flow of life, no longer stuck in resistance and resentment!!.xoxo
    You're right about that dave. I was one of the scared ones for months around here. Just reading. Not sure what to do, but knowing I HAD to do Something. The road I was on had no happy ending. I was miserable if I took them, because I didn't feel what I wanted to from it, or I felt guilty for having to take so many, spend the money. And then the moods. Whoa. NOW I can see it was almost always about pills, whether I was happy or sad. Not my feelings at all, just the beast taking over.

    So, thanks again. Gives me hope that there is somebody out there like me- looking at that fork in the road And at least thinking twice. This board is what got me really thinking I could do it, better now than later, too. I was a stalker, and now look..... I'm a TITAN I can feel the good coming back. sporadically, lol, but its in there,
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  25. #445
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Wow that was my daughter except she doesn't let anyone touch her hair. I threaten to cut it never works. She finally started middle school and she started brushing it. Now I go from battling to have it brushed to having to buy her special conditioner and then she recently had me buy her own dryer and flat iron. Mind you she doesn't use it as she has long beautiful curls.

    I wonder how bored Dave will be with conversations about braids. I said it before and will say it again mommy we coukd never do a lunch....not enough time for us.
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  26. #446
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Wow that was my daughter except she doesn't let anyone touch her hair. I threaten to cut it never works. She finally started middle school and she started brushing it. Now I go from battling to have it brushed to having to buy her special conditioner and then she recently had me buy her own dryer and flat iron. Mind you she doesn't use it as she has long beautiful curls.

    I wonder how bored Dave will be with conversations about braids. I said it before and will say it again mommy we could never do a lunch....not enough time for us.
    We would have to have the rest of the afternoon cleared in order to get together for a lunch, no question about that. We have way too much in common.Only a beach vacation would be enough time to get through even half of our stories, lol. Just the IDEA of it makes me smile right now. Which gets me smiling, so that does the trick

    And I think dave will probably just do a man-style glaze over our braiding convos, lol. But I am certain he will be happy to hear us taking about braids rather than bad moods and cravings and such, Every step is an improvement towards realizing the true happy we can actually create from within ourselves..... did that sound like a davep comment? lol. doing my best to be inspirational
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-05-2015 at 09:24 PM. Reason: typo
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  27. #447
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Yeah........Braids.....Your Correct Mommy.....Just a Man style GLAZED over........Hey...just You two chatting back and Forth All through the day....when you Can of course....I know I keep saying this....But...it's HUGE!! Might not seem like much but girl talk....But....what others are reading....is YOU TWO getting through another Day....Free from the Grips of that Monster!!.....Yeah....The BEAST!!
    I need you to both do me a favor....and read Butterfly's latest Post on Her thread!! It can happen just like that!! She was Doing Awesome as well....But...She had slowed on her posting...??? I have FAITH in her....she WILL be ok....She does need our Prayers though....extra!! I Pray for YOU TWO and Many others EVERY night....I just Don't want to see My Friends....even Cyber Friends.....have to start all over....or worse Yet...Never get back here....
    I'm Sorry about Your Pain Mommy.....Your Friends Father passing!!...It's times like this when WE really NEED each other!! Again....I refer to Butterfly's Post!! Hope You Two have an Awesome Friday.....and Sunshine.....There is nothing weak or wrong with walking!! At least Your getting Your..*&8%..out their!!...Stay Strong My Titans..Compassion...Act out of Love and understanding...and experience the world as a more caring place! Recovery involves learning to Love ourselves first and foremost, and as we do so, our ability to open our hearts and Love others increases! We need to recognize that we are each doing the best we can given the limits of our current beliefs and capacities! When we are truly able to be compassionate with ourselves and others, we no longer need to be defensive, angry, or to shut Down!!.xoxo
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  28. #448
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I did go check in on butterfly. Gosh it's so scary how much of a hold this beast keeps on us. I feel for her, bc in my weakest moments I have searched every every purse, every hiding spot, everywhere. Luckily I think hubs was more thorough than me and during my first week & found all of my "remnants ". But I know I have searched when the feelings come flooding back, and I see the danger in just wanting to search at all. So scary it still grips us, just sinks in it's claws and won't let go. I will continue to stay very close to this board & to my accountability. I will also pray for butterfly to find her strength again. I know she can. It's a good lesson for all of us, even though she feels weak for it, it can remind us of the thin line we walk. Thanks Dave for being here & supporting us all. Xoxo

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    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    I pray that I get stronger so when life happens I know that I can deal with things. It is so hard just to deal with my normal stuff and get thru a regular day. This is so not easy.

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    Mommy hope your having a good day!!
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