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Detox in full force, need help
  1. #511
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Just a quickie tonight....as YOU Titans should be sound asleep by Now....Hopefully?? Had a Good Meeting tonight....Topic was Surrender.....Which does NOT mean giving up.....But laying down your sword....stop fighting the BEAST.....and Join the winning TEAM!!! I believe You and Sunshine Have Done Just that....Now stop that Hubby fighting too.....??...Sometimes I really have to feel sorry for the ones that don't get addiction.....and withdrawl......Basically what WE have to do in Order to get Our Passion for Living Back....If they only Knew.....How Much Better YOU are Going to Be......already are in My Opinion....But....I Get IT....and they don't??? So....Short one tonight....But Just Have to Say YOU and Sunshine are Becoming.....Or...Have Become Very Serious Inspirations on Here!! Be PROUD.....You two are gathering quite a following.....Nice...Stay Strong Mommy..another Day to add to the counter!!!.xoxo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-11-2015 at 03:04 AM. Reason: spelling error
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  2. #512
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    Forever does sound scary, but I'm in it for the long haul now! Especially at this point in the journey. I was just too tired of being a prisoner, waking up every morning wondering "where's my dose, where will it come from, will I have enough??" I still have anxiety, I still have enough worry for a dozen people, and I still miss the fuzzy. I can't lie and say I don't. But the big difference is this: MISSING something versus DEPENDING on something

    Today is officially 6 weeks, 42 days on the counter. Crazy that it seems like only yesterday, yet it also seems like an ETERNITY ago. Still holding strong, that's what matters. Thanks for all of your support, as always. Just reading your words, its like I can hear you in my hear at the same time, holding me up and pushing me along. On this journey for freedom and happiness, you are key to so many of us Dave!!!!
    Congrats on six weeks I am glad you went to have lunch and celebrate with hubby. Funny I remember the 30 day mark for both of us and we felt like anything further from celebrating. But at 45 day mark as I am 2 days before you it felt a lot different. This time it was more confident in ourselves and the journey >> last time it seemed liked it was nothing but an endless battle on a roller coaster we hated being on. Still on the ride and still don't like it but now more confident with more control than two weeks ago.

    The first part of this post was like speaking for me.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-11-2015 at 08:05 AM. Reason: Typo
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  3. #513
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Just wanted to stop in and say hi! Congrats on 6 weeks, and 45 days! Im on day 18 and feeling great. I had my first dream a couple nights ago about pills and a second the night after.. The gor a text from my old dealer (even though I told him I was done) and looked the unsaved number with confusion, realized who it was and deleted it!! So happy, and so proud.

    But yes day 18 and its a great day!
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  4. #514
    Whynotnow is offline New Member
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    Just a quick update on my reply a few days ago. (Still not feeling quite like starting my own thread yet)...short history. I'm a 50 year old female with 2 professional degrees. Married for almost 26 years. Through many orthopedic surgeries in my early 30's and into my 40's, I found myself addicted to Norco 10/325. I loved those things from the very first pill!....so I'm looking at close to a 20 year addiction. OUCH! Started at a lower dosage and quantity, but eventually worked up to 4-6 per day. I'm prescribed 4/day, and stuck with that till the last year or so. Then suddenly I was running out early and "borrowing a few here and there" from friends who didn't have problems with them. I made up some real good, believable excuses so no one would think I had a problem. Nobody in my life knows (including my husband)..I just cannot tell him. At least not now. Anyway, since Sunday, I have taken 2 per day. I'm feeling it! Even at this, I will run out before my next rx is due. I DON't want to fill this and will never "borrow" again.. I've never hit my "rock bottom" for sure, but had a couple of close calls over the past few months and feel the Big Guy may be giving me a sign. I really do. Anyway, reading theses threads has helped me so much. You people are so real!! And so inspirational. ....one last note...I did quit for a whole, brutal 11 days last month, but shamefully got that refill.... if you get a chance, send me a positive vibe, or better yet, a little prayer. And keep fighting. All of you..
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  5. #515
    Whynotnow is offline New Member
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    And a HUGE congrats on your 6 weeks, mommy! I hope to one day say the same!
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  6. #516
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whynotnow View Post
    Just a quick update on my reply a few days ago. (Still not feeling quite like starting my own thread yet)...short history. I'm a 50 year old female with 2 professional degrees. Married for almost 26 years. Through many orthopedic surgeries in my early 30's and into my 40's, I found myself addicted to Norco 10/325. I loved those things from the very first pill!....so I'm looking at close to a 20 year addiction. OUCH! Started at a lower dosage and quantity, but eventually worked up to 4-6 per day. I'm prescribed 4/day, and stuck with that till the last year or so. Then suddenly I was running out early and "borrowing a few here and there" from friends who didn't have problems with them. I made up some real good, believable excuses so no one would think I had a problem. Nobody in my life knows (including my husband)..I just cannot tell him. At least not now. Anyway, since Sunday, I have taken 2 per day. I'm feeling it! Even at this, I will run out before my next rx is due. I DON't want to fill this and will never "borrow" again.. I've never hit my "rock bottom" for sure, but had a couple of close calls over the past few months and feel the Big Guy may be giving me a sign. I really do. Anyway, reading theses threads has helped me so much. You people are so real!! And so inspirational. ....one last note...I did quit for a whole, brutal 11 days last month, but shamefully got that refill.... if you get a chance, send me a positive vibe, or better yet, a little prayer. And keep fighting. All of you..


    Hey Whynot now - I'm reading around and came across your post. You really should begin that new thread NOW so can can benefit from all the advice, encouragement, and support you'll receive once that happens. You could use this very post as the opening or greeting. Copy and paste it in your new thread and add to it when you feel comfortable.

    When we members want to comment to someone specifically we look for their name and thread. Don't miss out on the huge amount of responses you will be receiving.

    Another thing I would suggest to for you to make the new thread in the Need to Talk forum. That site receives the most traffic most every day except maybe the Suboxone forum. Get started today and please don;t be frightened, we all began the same way here. I was extremely scared to post here and read for quite some time before getting the courage to start my own thread. Nothing to it!

    All the best to you and perhaps I'll comment later on your new thread!!! Take care.

    -Randy
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  7. #517
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Whynotnow you are always welcome to post on our threads and as Randy said it is easier to keep up so to speak especially on mommys thread......between the two of us....I think we must spin daves head sometimes with all the talk....lol. When your ready in your time. I think you have taken the first step and knowing that you want things to be different and want to be free from the grips they hold on you. I would imagine that after 20 years there is allot of fear in letting go. I know I had it and still do. Then reading not only all the good that comes from getting off but the mental struggles we face. Of course nobody wants that but I have so much faith especially from Dave when he tells me how much better it can be. Is it worth it....it must be because I am at 45 days. Some days to be honest it doesn't feel like it but I know it is. I don't think any of us know how good it can be until we try. Our biggest failures in life are the ones we don't try.

    I am sending you extra good vibes.....right there...catch. Extra Rays of sunshine and big hugs!!!
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  8. #518
    Whynotnow is offline New Member
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    Thank you so much a Randy and Sunshine for reading and taking time to comment. Means so much to me..I'm slowly working my way up to starting my own thread...just don't quite feel "worthy"...I came so close when I was going through those 11 days. And Sunshine, after knowing I can get through the physical part, I see the mental part is gonna be so much harder. However, something is weighing heavily on me lately to do this once and for all...45 days is AWESOME! Congrats! Mommy, sorry for hijacking!
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  9. #519
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Your not hijacking if we can help you its all worth it. If this is easing you into your on thread post away. I can speak for mommy on that no worries there. I know it becomes more real and you really feel pressure once you make a thread so don't worry about it post away until you are ready. You need to be ready before this is going to work.

    Some people come out amazing and they don't always have as much mental as others. I am actually jealous of them. I read a thread was on hydros for 10 plus years and after 23 days he gracefully bowed out of this forum because it was the only thing that still tied him to pills. Everyone is different. Please start with vitamins now and excercise it will make a difference. You don't know until you try so don't fret the mental we can all support you when that happens and will take it one day at a time.
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  10. #520
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi mommy hoping you have had a good day. Mine was ok. Just wanted to check in with my bff and see how you were thanks for my post yesterday. I replied this am. Better day today. Gong to make dinner and in a few hours will get to add another day.
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  11. #521
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whynotnow View Post
    Thank you so much a Randy and Sunshine for reading and taking time to comment. Means so much to me..I'm slowly working my way up to starting my own thread...just don't quite feel "worthy"...I came so close when I was going through those 11 days. And Sunshine, after knowing I can get through the physical part, I see the mental part is gonna be so much harder. However, something is weighing heavily on me lately to do this once and for all...45 days is AWESOME! Congrats! Mommy, sorry for hijacking!
    Well, no need for any of this nonsense talk about highjacking, lol. I have said it before, and I will say it again, "The more Titans, the merrier". Just makes us an army, more of us to hold each other up...... and that's just what we do. So post here as much as you like....never seen as highjacking from me! I do think having my own thread has been very valuable, though. Some days, when I feel like I haven't made progress, or just have a bad day in general, going back and reading my "journal: gives me real proof that I've made more progress than my brain tells me I have.

    Then I also have to say, I wouldn't really say the mental part is "harder". Longer and more tiresome, but if you really want the prize at the end (freedom to be happy whenever you WANT to), it is not THAT bad. Just an ongoing battle so some days you get weary. But then you also have moments of true happiness and clarity, maybe few and far between early on, but shows you its worth it, to keep your eye on the prize (thats a sunshine quote btw ) It is definitely not easy, but with each day that passes it gets better. Not easy, just better than 6 weeks ago!

  12. #522
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Hi mommy hoping you have had a good day. Mine was ok. Just wanted to check in with my bff and see how you were thanks for my post yesterday. I replied this am. Better day today. Gong to make dinner and in a few hours will get to add another day.
    I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day! I am trying to post positive to others, which is making me feel a bit better. Just really stressful at work- not class wise, just these awful committees and extra projects, deadlines-- just a lot into one day at the moment.

    Then, lunch time comes and here goes some big deal with part of our land and property taxes. Hubs was trying to keep it from me, not really to lie, just to keep me from worrying about it. But all came crashing down today and he could not take care of it without me. Long story, will shorten best I can. Bottom line is we had to payout a lot of money today for part of our land taxes, to keep it from auction. I wouldn't mind losing 2 acres really (its alot to take care of) but these 2acres happen to be the near mile long driveway, a necessary part to getting home. We bought our house on 10 acres about 8 yrs ago, the whole 10 mortgaged together, property taxes were added into the mortgage, in escrow, so I think I'm paying them the whole time. All except for SOME reason, the tax assessor has the 8 acres plot our home sits on listed separately from the mile long 2 acres of driveway section. Taxes on the driveway part are literally like 6 dollars a year, nothing. But when you don't pay it, eventually they add penalties and try to auction your land. It would only have been my 2 acre driveway, but.... how am I gonna get way back here to my house without my driveway? It is all okay now, we paid far more than necessary, I still have a driveway at least. But I seriously, NOT what I wanted to deal with today.

    I actually woke up very positive, telling myself that I decide whether or not I am going tobe happy today. Then BAM, BAM, BAM, just get knocked down again, no matter how hard I try to make things go differently. I know in reality, these things are just.... life's issues. Stuff happens. But I did not WANT to get beat down today. I was ready for a good one, but fate had other plans for me. Feeling low and hating every minute of it. Hope your day was better Sunshine! I will read up on the day as soon as I get a few chores done. xoxoxoxo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-11-2015 at 06:44 PM. Reason: typos

  13. #523
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    My gosh Mommy, I am so sorry to hear this. I truly am. Here you are posting such positive thoughts on my thread and you are going through this. I hate that you are feeling low, and this happened to you. It's going to get better. It will. I wish I could offer more, but my support for you is all that I have right now. Don't let this drag you down. Tomorrow will be better.
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  14. #524
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy it is actually good we are notbin sync. Would not be good for us both at the same time....lol... I am sorry for your day. I was having an issue with something and was thinking to myself if everyone could just take it easy I am women trying to get off drugs here so go away and take all your issues and come back in 6 months. Thank you now back off!!!

    That must have been so stressful. I am sure you were like hitting high level anxiety. I know we are Titans and we act strong and we fight the battle everyday but we are still fragile. Fragile in that stuff just seems to be a little harder and when that stuff comes are way we have a harder time. My explanation doesn't make it easier. Maybe we are still on this roller coaster and the boy running it took off for his lunch break never to return.

    Not that it will help but I had high anxiety level today. I have decided my anxiety has come from the devil himself in the form of my project. If I could possibly figure out a way to dunk it in holy water and thought it would help I would probably entertain the idea.

    Mommy so finish your chores and hop in bed early. Hubby was so sweet to try and keep it from you. Lol..,my hubby he thought about not telling me about his job as he knew I would worry but that was not happening. Not becuase I was fragile...but because I would worry. Wish he hadn't told me.

    Big big hugs your way!!! I am so proud of you for posting to others when you were down. Most of the time when I have had a bad day and at my wits end I can only make it over to your thread and mine. Last night I was glad I checked on princess. I would have felt awful if I missed it. Thank you and Dave for jumping over there as well. You had allot on your thread today during work. Sometimes we are so busy it's hard to keep up.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-11-2015 at 07:21 PM.

  15. #525
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whynotnow View Post
    And a HUGE congrats on your 6 weeks, mommy! I hope to one day say the same!
    It's a weird feeling to hit milestones. Like, you have this superhero impossble task that YOU accomplished, and it is now BEHIND you, should have nothing else to fear at this point, right? ...... then, the other half of your mind is saying "ok, I did it. So now what? where is my reward?" Fireworks? Throwing a party? Even when hubs wanted to take me to dinner for 30 days..... I just don't feel like celebrating....... yet.... don't get me wrong, those milestone days are PROUD, but at least in my case, I expected "instant feel better" result from it.... I hear we WILL get those results,just not as immediate as we would like. Hope none of this sounds negative in any way! Just in my case, I set myself up for being disappointed by a certain "date", when truth is only time will tell.
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  16. #526
    TigerLily32 is offline Senior Member
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    Sorry you had a bad day mommy. It must be contagious. Sending love and hugs across this post to you and sunshine. xoxo
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  17. #527
    Whynotnow is offline New Member
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    So sorry you had a bad day while even attempting a positive update! ..And btw, the reason I originally posted on your thread was the similarities we have with living "in the country with lots of land, and special needs fur babies!" And a professional workday..and, the hubs and I almost always have a social event at the end of the day to add to the mix, and lots of chores after the workday is done. Never feel the need to post when you're not feeling it or don't have time....and I cannot EVEN imagine a 3 year old in that mix! Take care of yourself first. Always! My mind wonders where at i would be in your stage...at 6 weeks stone cold sober.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-11-2015 at 10:28 PM.
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  18. #528
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Goodnight mommy and Whynotnow. Going to bed and will check back in the morning. Sweet dreams my friends. Xoxxo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-11-2015 at 10:45 PM.
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  19. #529
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davepeerson View Post
    Just a quickie tonight....as YOU Titans should be sound asleep by Now....Hopefully?? Had a Good Meeting tonight....Topic was Surrender.....Which does NOT mean giving up.....But laying down your sword....stop fighting the BEAST.....and Join the winning TEAM!!! I believe You and Sunshine Have Done Just that....Now stop that Hubby fighting too.....??...Sometimes I really have to feel sorry for the ones that don't get addiction.....and withdrawl......Basically what WE have to do in Order to get Our Passion for Living Back....If they only Knew.....How Much Better YOU are Going to Be......already are in My Opinion....But....I Get IT....and they don't??? So....Short one tonight....But Just Have to Say YOU and Sunshine are Becoming.....Or...Have Become Very Serious Inspirations on Here!! Be PROUD.....You two are gathering quite a following.....Nice...Stay Strong Mommy..another Day to add to the counter!!!.xoxo
    I do feel for hubs trying with cope with me as I cope with this. Have tried to explain it so many times, but it is just not possible to understand an addict's mind until you have spent time in one. I try to choose my battles wisely, and I am getting much better at it. I think I will always fight with the person I live with bc I am too OCD..... while he and I are so alike in ways of thinking, morals, etc., we are total opposites in habit. I always need to plan, he can go with the flow. He has far more patience for life in general, but I have more drive, internal motivation that makes me unsettled until everything is perfect. The good thing is now we are fighting over truly stupid stuff.... i.e. where to hang a tv mount. The arguments used to be about much more than just a tv mount. I'd love to never fight with him again, but he was raised with his mom & 4 sisters....... although he does not admit it and has about as "manly" of a job as you can imagine, his upbringing rubbed off and he is sensitive like a girl, lol. We fight.... or disagree rather on the angle of the tv mount and such..... but NOTHING like 6+ weeks ago. To be honest, while we have bad days that we just get sick of each other, there is a huge improvement in the arguing department since I cleaned up. Really just saying all of this for anyone who is going through this battling their significant other at the same time they are battling the beast. Once I opened up to him, he became very supportive and the arguments now are over nothing.... the nagle of a tv mount, while we used to argue about how to get divorced. At 6 weeks in, I have mended more relationships than I have in the past 5 years. No doubt it is better I don't really give a sh!+ which way the tv mount hangs, to be honest!
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  20. #530
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whynotnow View Post
    So sorry you had a bad day while even attempting a positive update! ..And btw, the reason I originally posted on your thread was the similarities we have with living "in the country with lots of land, and special needs fur babies!" And a professional workday..and, the hubs and I almost always have a social event at the end of the day to add to the mix, and lots of chores after the workday is done. Never feel the need to post when you're not feeling it or don't have time....and I cannot EVEN imagine a 3 year old in that mix! Take care of yourself first. Always! My mind wonders where at i would be in your stage...at 6 weeks stone cold sober.
    You will get here,And you will look back and think where has the time gone. You have come to the right place to get this done right, to be happy and free.

    When we moved to our land we had 21 cats and dogs. We have lost many to old age, accidents, a couple of really unspeakable tragedies, but I volunteer for a local rescue/spay/neuter group and I just can't turn away a stray. Right now we have 6 dogs that are inside/outside, they have a pet door that lets them into our fenced yard, but when we are home on weekends, they get to run free on our land (they actually never leave except to go beg the neighbor for scraps). There are 5 cats that are also inside or outside at their convenience due to the pet door. At night, they are basically all up in my bedroom, as that is where we lave the heaters running so it is warmest.I wake up covered in cats & dogs. Which may be kinda yuck to some people, these fur leggers LIVE the definition of unconditional love. Dunno what I'd do without them. Then, we also have a colony of feral cats that were relocated to our land from the college where I work. There are 8-10 of them that come and go as they please, some I can touch and some I cannot. But hubs built heated cat boxes with ramps and all as an addition to our shed, which sits beside a pond. They all have it made. And lemme tell you, the greeting I get when I arrive home everyday is enough to lift even the darkest of spirits. No question, even at my lowest I feel LOVED when I walk into this house every day. My human kid many only be 3.....but I waited a good many years before having her (accidentally mind you, lol). I am almost 37 and since moving here hubs and I have rescued over 30 cats and dogs, I had resigned myself to being just an animal mom until my unexpected surprise.... which happened to turn out to be the best thing ever, because she didn't change how we are with our "furry kids", she just joined us in loving them and they love her, too.... the furkids just see kiddo as part of the "pack". It is a good life I am working to save here..... MY OWN, which in turn saves so many of them...... there are so many little lives here that rely on me to me standing on two solid feet. So be it.The titan holds on, by any means necessary. I love that my kids, both two and four legged ones, benefit from me getting myself well.

  21. #531
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Mommy it is actually good we are notbin sync. Would not be good for us both at the same time....lol... I am sorry for your day. I was having an issue with something and was thinking to myself if everyone could just take it easy I am women trying to get off drugs here so go away and take all your issues and come back in 6 months. Thank you now back off!!!

    That must have been so stressful. I am sure you were like hitting high level anxiety. I know we are Titans and we act strong and we fight the battle everyday but we are still fragile. Fragile in that stuff just seems to be a little harder and when that stuff comes are way we have a harder time. My explanation doesn't make it easier. Maybe we are still on this roller coaster and the boy running it took off for his lunch break never to return.

    Not that it will help but I had high anxiety level today. I have decided my anxiety has come from the devil himself in the form of my project. If I could possibly figure out a way to dunk it in holy water and thought it would help I would probably entertain the idea.

    Mommy so finish your chores and hop in bed early. Hubby was so sweet to try and keep it from you. Lol..,my hubby he thought about not telling me about his job as he knew I would worry but that was not happening. Not becuase I was fragile...but because I would worry. Wish he hadn't told me.

    Big big hugs your way!!! I am so proud of you for posting to others when you were down. Most of the time when I have had a bad day and at my wits end I can only make it over to your thread and mine. Last night I was glad I checked on princess. I would have felt awful if I missed it. Thank you and Dave for jumping over there as well. You had allot on your thread today during work. Sometimes we are so busy it's hard to keep up.
    In all seriousness, when he told me how much we had to pay by Friday in order to keep out driveway from being auctioned off, I "almost" passed out. I thought "this is the straw than breaks THIS particular camel's back" and I am done. Just when we START getting ahead again after all I have wasted money-wise, BAM.... bye bye extra money. It initially made me feel like why should I even try. If I am going to me miserable half the time, broke anyway, stressed and sad anyway..... why put myself through this? THAT was my initial reaction. But, I finished my work day, hit the gym, and by the time I made it home to my warm furry kids welcome, I had gotten things back in perspective again. What really matters is that our land (driveway) did NOT get auctioned. It is not really fair that we had to pay like 10x what the property taxes actually are, bc I honestly thought, assumed, that if I was paying the taxes in escrow, that the entire property purchase was included. I has no idea the driveway 2 acres had separate taxes. All I can do at this point is call it YET ANOTHER lesson learned the hard way. And make sure I send the da*n tax collector 6 bucks every February for my driveway. Oh well. Not worth losing sleep over, and I sure hope that I don't!!!
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  22. #532
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Congrats on six weeks I am glad you went to have lunch and celebrate with hubby. Funny I remember the 30 day mark for both of us and we felt like anything further from celebrating. But at 45 day mark as I am 2 days before you it felt a lot different. This time it was more confident in ourselves and the journey >> last time it seemed liked it was nothing but an endless battle on a roller coaster we hated being on. Still on the ride and still don't like it but now more confident with more control than two weeks ago.

    The first part of this post was like speaking for me.
    The crazy thing was my fortune cookie from the 6 weeks "celebratory" lunch....can't remember where I posted it.

    No joke, I had ONE fortune cookie that I picked out of a bowl of hundreds. I will NEVER throw this one away.

    It said, and I quote "Everyone around you is rooting for you! Never give up!"

    How weird is that? I considered going to buy a lotto picket with the lucky numbers.... I have a hard time believing in signs and fate, although I REALLY do try to, but no way my choosing THAT fortune cookie on THAT day didn't mean something. Whatever it takes to keep this stepper stepping. Never really cared about what my fortune cookie said before.... but you cannot deny that was weird!
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  23. #533
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Glad You made it through what sounds like a stressful day Mommy!! I have Had a Very Busy Day Myself....Not Bad....Just Busy!! Hope You get some Good rest....and Tomorrow is Much Better for YOU!! Not much else tonight....Just wanted to check in....and Say Whoot....Whoot...for U counting another Day.....Most important Thing!!! You Made IT!!! Nice Job!! Stay Strong Mommy!!.xoxo
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  24. #534
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    The crazy thing was my fortune cookie from the 6 weeks "celebratory" lunch....can't remember where I posted it.

    No joke, I had ONE fortune cookie that I picked out of a bowl of hundreds. I will NEVER throw this one away.

    It said, and I quote "Everyone around you is rooting for you! Never give up!"

    How weird is that? I considered going to buy a lotto picket with the lucky numbers.... I have a hard time believing in signs and fate, although I REALLY do try to, but no way my choosing THAT fortune cookie on THAT day didn't mean something. Whatever it takes to keep this stepper stepping. Never really cared about what my fortune cookie said before.... but you cannot deny that was weird!
    Its fate mommy. Someone was telling you to listen to all your friends and hubby. It was perfect timing. Maybe it wasn't fate but what were the odds..... Should have bought that winning lottery ticket we could have upgraded that beach vacation......
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  25. #535
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy how was the rest of your day and the organic chem lab. Mine was ok anxiety was up and it was real rough but ran out to run some errands and having the sun beat down on me and the music real loud in the car was nice. Picked up a pizza for dinner. It was very very cold today and I skipped my walk. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. Again was not a bad day it was a blah day. Need more sleep than I got last night.

    Dave how was your day today? Hope it was good. Did you ever find a part time job?
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  26. #536
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I will try not to complain too much, lol. Lab was rough, I just wasn't on my game today and it took a lot longer than it should have. Frustrated and no time to go to the gym because we stayed so long. I think I probably would have felt better if I had gotten in some exercise time. I knew this, and I knew the longer the lab took, the less likely I would have time, all probably contributing to me feeling freaked out and rushed all afternoon. So all in all, I feel pretty unprogressive today. The sun was out but not even 40 degrees for the high today so the cold just makes me even lazier.... just wanna curl up in a ball under a blanket. Not at all looking forward to the weather according to next week's forecast. Cold, cold, cold and snow or ice possible for us. I could not be more ready for spring and WARM sunny weather to get here.

    Trying not to spread negativity. But as I sit here curled under my blanket, freezing already and anticipating freezing even more next week, I look around my disaster of a house and the stress just builds and builds. Just so many unfinished tasks, chores, everything my eyes see seems to need attention and I am beyond wasted on the energy to get up and do it. Not really feeling bad, just blah and ticked off about it. Anxiety seems to be my constant companion.

    On the up side, I have lots of furry cuddlers here to keep me warm, all wanting to get in my lap..... mind you my pups aren't all little lap dogs, mostly mixes but basset hound to lab to shepard size..... my lap isn't big enough for them all
    Whynotnow and davepeerson like this.

  27. #537
    timetogocold is offline Junior Member
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    I am working on day 7. You can imagine how my mind is. Today has been rough but this thread has been amazing to read. If not for any reason but the highs and lows of you guys and gals. Your bad days mean as much to me as the good (football days). It gives me hope every day that things will get better but it will take some work and we all will have bad days to get through. I am glad I found this forum and I look forward to more great days together!! Congrats to you on how far you have made it.

  28. #538
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by timetogocold View Post
    I am working on day 7. You can imagine how my mind is. Today has been rough but this thread has been amazing to read. If not for any reason but the highs and lows of you guys and gals. Your bad days mean as much to me as the good (football days). It gives me hope every day that things will get better but it will take some work and we all will have bad days to get through. I am glad I found this forum and I look forward to more great days together!! Congrats to you on how far you have made it.
    Thank you, thank you! Hearing things like that help more than I can describe. Sometimes it just feels like we are sitting still, like the days just keep passing.... we keep counting, but it is hard to feel a difference from day to day. To know that someone objectively can read our journey and see the progression, just make the progress feel more real. Those of you reading and benefiting from our stories or venting or whatever.... that help us keep going just as much. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. Congratulations on making it to day 7.... that is a huge accomplishment!
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  29. #539
    timetogocold is offline Junior Member
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    Well I am glad that everyone benefits from posts. I "think"<--(which I do to much of) that I wouldn't have made it thus far without this forum. Have you felt like the monkey is off your back yet? I am sure that we can never let our guard down again. It is to easy to fall down.

  30. #540
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Just pooped in to say good night. I hope you get good sleep tonight. Hopefully we will both be happy and having great days. Somehow for me......idk....it's been one of those weeks. We shall see.

    Have a good day tomorrow. I will catch up on all the post I missed tonight in the am. Tired and going to bed. Xoxoxo
    davepeerson likes this.

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