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Detox in full force, need help
  1. #631
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    I know a day of gloomy cold weather makes everything so much harder.It is just too cold for me to want to do much of anything except what is absolutely essential. I would much rather put off the things that cause me anxiety, and just ignore it. I think that is part of what the pills helped me with.... putting off things I didn;t want to deal with, no matter how big or small. I sure hope that having hubby around these next 2 days will lessen your stress about it, and get this done once and for all. Sun came out here today.... didn't melt much of anything... freezing cold still, but maybe thatmeans you will have sunny skies tomorrow.
    Hubby is not too happy with me and is not happy with my progress. Not happy about taking two days off. I am so glad you get the things you would rather put off cause anxiety. Why do I feel the need to put them off, why can't I just jump in and take care of it? Why do I allow the anxiety rule me???? I have not had any real exercise since Friday.... I just can't get out in this cold and try and walk! We are allot alike mommy we like the warmer temps.

  2. #632
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lostnscared View Post
    Sadmommy13 you are a saint I've been reading your posts on your thread and I can tell you went through exactly what I'm feeling now and I just wanna say thank you so much.. It truly IS amazing what the love of a "stranger" can do!
    No, I'm no saint. I just have a bit of time ahead of you in the recovery department. I really felt for you upon reading your first thread, because I so very much remember those first days, total he--. I am so glad to hear hat my "journal" of posting feelings daily had helped give you hope and comfort. I canot say I am 100% yet, but as you can tell, I am a totally different person than I was 7weeks ago! It will get better and you are doing an awesome job at this battle! There are so many people here that helped ME in those worst days, I am proud to be able to give back a little of the hope and encouragement that they gave me.

  3. #633
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Hubby is not too happy with me and is not happy with my progress. Not happy about taking two days off. I am so glad you get the things you would rather put off cause anxiety. Why do I feel the need to put them off, why can't I just jump in and take care of it? Why do I allow the anxiety rule me???? I have not had any real exercise since Friday.... I just can't get out in this cold and try and walk! We are allot alike mommy we like the warmer temps.
    Even when I was on the pills, I was great at accomplishing tasks that I FELT like doing. I still put off anything that raised my panic level....paying bills, getting final grades averaged and entered. I would put all that pill energy into what I felt like doing, and always avoided the high anxiety tasks. I'm hoping that attitude, I guess it is fear really, will subside when my brain starts pumping its own happy chemicals again. Just tired of waiting. Glad to physically feel better, motivation for things I WANT to do is coming back, but still.... just like right now I should be working on online classes. Yet, that raises my stress level and so I just don't feel like it!

  4. #634
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Yes you put it perfect. You were in my mind again. The worst part of it is the longer I put it off the more anxiety it causes when I finally have to do it. The bill thing.....I set up amounts to be taken out of my account monthly which always was enough to cover just so I did not have to look at bills. Another huge thing that I hate doing and causes anxiety. I can say this motivation is coming back compared to where I was a month ago mpg motivation for things I don't like to do but simple things like making the bed and running out. The exercise has helped allot and now feeling a decrease because I have not been getting it. It will be another 3 or so days before I can get back out there. With hubby taking a few days off for this he will have me going all day for the next two days. Saturday we have the science competition that will be an all day thing. I am not allowed nor are the coaches allowed to be in the area where they compete. Not counting on any awards as there will be many many smart kids there he will be competing against but I am just happy he is getting the experience and trying.
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  5. #635
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Oh the science competition.... that will be fun! Just having the experience of going is awesome enough. That is something to look for ward to, you will be so proud!

    Even running around with hubby and doing the errands will keep you moving. Maybe not the outside time you'd rather enjoy, but exercising in the cold is no fun either. I hope the weather at least predicts some sun for you.

    So, after this weekend is the project finished, too?

  6. #636
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    Oh the science competition.... that will be fun! Just having the experience of going is awesome enough. That is something to look for ward to, you will be so proud!

    Even running around with hubby and doing the errands will keep you moving. Maybe not the outside time you'd rather enjoy, but exercising in the cold is no fun either. I hope the weather at least predicts some sun for you.

    So, after this weekend is the project finished, too?
    No then I get to take the receipts and match them up to the 2000 items listed on my inventory list. Its not even in excel my list is but the one they want me to match receipts is not in a excel format. So I am going to have to go thru there list and try take there numbers and match them to my list so I can do a search. It will take me weeks if I worked at it every day. Then I have to figure out all the stuff they left off and argue with them about that. Then all the antiques I need to look up and print out the amount they need to pay me for and what it is worth.

  7. #637
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good night mommy I hope you get lots of good sleep and you wake up with extra sun beams!! xoxoxo
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  8. #638
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I hate to hear that the buying part is really only the beginning. That's no good. But hopefully, the paperwork will be easier to focus on than the shopping.... maybe? Spring is coming, and then it will be better....no spring this week temp wise but we may get some sun tomorrow...just super cold! Hope you get a full 7-8 hours tonight! xoxoxoxox
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  9. #639
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Mommy.....Poor Sunshine....I Do feel for her on all that Insurance stuff....and trying to go through receipts, etc!!..We gonna need to keep Her Upbeat...We'll ALL help her get through it....One Moment at a Time!! Sounds Like your Day went alright....with the little cutie in College!! I Hope and Pray You Two Titans get a little break....Like Maybe some Sunshine....soon!! The ONE thing I DO know is....You both made it One Day closer to 66!! Sweet Dreams Mommy..Stay Strong Titans!!..Stars Cannot Shine without The Darkness!!....Be Not Afraid of Growing slowly...Be Afraid of Standing Still....And Finally......What Progress, you ask, have I Made?? I have begun to be a Friend to Myself!!..xoxo
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  10. #640
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Bad bad bad news. I washed my phone with the laundry!!! I'm devastated at the moment and feel very cut off already. That's how I check in here from work, that's my Titan Playlist, that's my clean counter app, that phone literally holds tools that, at the moment, I feel are essential to making it through a day! Hubby is trying to get computer tech friends to help, but I can't even get texts or calls from him now! I'm afraid it is a goner, and I won't be able to get another phone at least until the weekend. I am sad! I want to play my music....... and I will be really sad if I havelost everything saved on the phone..... kiddos pics, her "Let it Go" performances. Hopefully icloud has all that backed up..... I hope. Oh my! I know it's a "little" problem, but feeling cut off from all the support I have feels very, very BIG at the moment!!!!

  11. #641
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy not good. The cost of a new phone seems small to losing something that has so much on a little device. I don't know about the cloud. I have yet to figure out where my cloud is or how to use it. I do know its full????Wherever it might be. The kicker is I have all three mac products, computer, iPad, and phone. I think there suppose to network together. They don't but I don't know how to set that up??? I accidentally spilled a drink in my purse and lost my phone about a 18 months ago....its no fun.

    Lol...iI usually hear about kids dropping them in the toilet, pool or whatever.

    You will be fine today you are a titan and will get thru this!! Sun is out it is very cold today. I will check back in with you later when I get home.

  12. #642
    Christa1234 is offline Member
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    Reading this this morning and feeling like I can beet this hydrocodone addiction. I'm going to get out of bed and start my day without it. Tapering isn't working for me. Thank you all for posting. Reading your progress helps
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  13. #643
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Mommy not good. The cost of a new phone seems small to losing something that has so much on a little device. I don't know about the cloud. I have yet to figure out where my cloud is or how to use it. I do know its full????Wherever it might be. The kicker is I have all three mac products, computer, iPad, and phone. I think there suppose to network together. They don't but I don't know how to set that up??? I accidentally spilled a drink in my purse and lost my phone about a 18 months ago....its no fun.

    Lol...iI usually hear about kids dropping them in the toilet, pool or whatever.

    You will be fine today you are a titan and will get thru this!! Sun is out it is very cold today. I will check back in with you later when I get home.
    Yes, leave it to me to throw the d@#n thing in the washing machine and set it on 'go'. I even remember last night after I "started the laundry" hearing something banging around coming from the direction of the laundry room. Thought about going to look, yet I decided to stay butt to the couch..... another lesson learned the hard way! Given, there is often a lot of banging around here, toddler plus big furkids, well best described as sounding like a herd of horses when they play. Anyway, I am blaming myself for being a scatterbrained fool,yet trying to make excuses for it. I know that is the wrong attitude. Sorry for the rant.

    Seriously, you have no idea how much you rely on something until it is gone!!! Sounds too familiar to the pill situation, right? I cried through my whole lunch break. I just wanted my phone! It is everything..... my watch, my alarm clock, my weather app,plus all of the even more essentials that I listed above! I felt so lost all day. Couldn't even text hubby, he always sends me have a good day texts. Sun came....but I felt disconnected from every form of support, just lost. Plus it was hard organic day Thursday, icing on the cake. Trying to pull myself together but falling apart anyway. Already butt to the couch and zero chores accomplished. Blah.

    Sorry to spread bad news, but you guys are my listeners, my outlet was gone all day and now I have to get it out!!! It is different, even when I am too busy at work to post much, I always know I still CAN if I need to. This felt much different. Disconnected from everything and just couldn't get in sync on my own.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 02-19-2015 at 05:16 PM.

  14. #644
    Christa1234 is offline Member
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    Dave, mommy, sunshine, all of you have helped me so much. This is just day 1 for me. I've been reading and cutting back for a week. I'm having bad withdrawal and sneezing my head off but still wanted to check in and thank you all again. On the thread I started a man, Joe just Joe, told me to keep taking and go back to my dr. I know he meant well but I didn't feel any encouragement. I'm do glad I found this page and I went and read all of sunshines. Love and prayers
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  15. #645
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy if I was disconnected from my electronics I would feel lost and have a very bad day. You are entitled. I freaked out to think you would be without power and have no connection to us. Of course your having a bad day......beat on the key boards. I know you hate spreading bad news but its ok thats what we do....the good and the bad. I think it is more so that we want to have such good days we want to report back that things went so well, and this is how it should be, and its not going this way and just bites big time!!!!!

    I am here for you will be around. xoxoxo Big hugs your way Mommy.
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  16. #646
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy hoping you are doing ok. Just want you to know that I am thinking of you and hate that today is so hard. Anyone that was never even on pills would be having a bad day. Just stay couch to butt tonight its ok. I heart you. Big hugs your way. Tomorrow I am sending you extra extra sun rays!!! xoxoxo
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  17. #647
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Thank you! I am trying so so so hard, seriously digging today, to keep my spirits up tonight. But now fighting with hubby. I really, honestly, do not think my mood started it this time. I will take, like 'almost' FULL blame for most of our arguments. But this time, I feel like I was entitled to be pouty after today with no phone. I was not mean, I was just not in a "good mood" when he got home. Still, all of the animals had been fed, kiddo fed, his dinner cooked and hot, coffee prepped for tomorrow.... I had been trying so hard to do as much as I could, even after the disconnected and lost all day. And it just plain hurt my feelings that his expectations upon walking in were that I would be in great spirits. Come on now, even Titans deserve a break!!! I want a re-do on this day.... starting back from yesterday when I stupidly decided to to a load of laundry. humph.

  18. #648
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christa1234 View Post
    Dave, mommy, sunshine, all of you have helped me so much. This is just day 1 for me. I've been reading and cutting back for a week. I'm having bad withdrawal and sneezing my head off but still wanted to check in and thank you all again. On the thread I started a man, Joe just Joe, told me to keep taking and go back to my dr. I know he meant well but I didn't feel any encouragement. I'm do glad I found this page and I went and read all of sunshines. Love and prayers
    I am so glad that any part of our journeys could have given you hope. I started reading thread here a while before I decided to stop. This place is what gave me the strength to believe I could do it if others could. So glad you posted. Have you started your own thread? If you post a new thread saying you're on day 1, you will lots of replies with advice and help. But posting here is fine, too! Seems sunshine and I have become somewhat a pair of rock stars, so enough people are reading here that can anytime chime in to help you!!! Glad you have joined the army of Titans!
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  19. #649
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Yep.....Titan's thread Here!! Sorry about the Phone Mommy.....and then coming Home to all the expectations.....Seems Hubby could have maybe given YOU some slack??? Anyway....Even though You Don't get a do over....You Are Digging In....Dig....Dig....Dig.....And I have a Pretty Good feeling that YOU....Yes You Mommy....are going to Go to bed tonight One Day Closer to Day 66!! Keep your Chin Up....But also...Go ahead and complain all You Need to.....I would be Upset Too....I Hated when I had Phone issue's....Once I was washing My Car....Had MY Phone in a front shirt pocket....bent over the wash Bucket...and Yep...Ker-Plunk...Right in the Soapy water....Killed that One!! Then I had another One that all of the sudden would Not charge anymore....and it wasn't even a Year Old.....Hard to believe WE used to get by without them....and Now...like YOU said....Our alarm clock....Watch....Weather....Etc!!!...Hoping and praying You have a Somewhat relaxing evening....at least for a bit before Bed!! Love the Way Peeps are reading You and Sunshine's Threads....Told You...You Two Are Rock Stars....Giving off a lot of Hope!! Stay Strong Mommy...& Sunshine!!.xoxo
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  20. #650
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks, Dave. Your posts always make me feel better. Kiddo and I are watching Cinderella before bed. Hubby left to go to a friend's. We both prefer the kid not see the fighting, so we agree that we try to separate when that's happening. But now on my own for bath and bed time. I'm a Titian.... I got this. Just feeling alone. I don't know if it's the beast on my shoulder or just thought process and habits not broken yet... but I swear the ONLY time he is ever short tempered about anything is after a buzz, seems to affect his moods more then anything, and I feel, all things considered, his mood that came off more crazy today than mine. I see things differently.... intuition? I dunno. I cheesed my coffee and laundered my phone, no doubt I am the likely candidate for having issues. But I am admitting and changing them. And noticing things I did not before. Trying so very hard to be positive, not judgmental, compassionate, but more than ever now feeling lonely again. Just a stone for a stepper. I'm off to make this bath time the best one ever...... somehow.... dig, dig, dig.
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  21. #651
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    You are Far From alone Mommy!! You Got Some "Sunshine"....Li'l O'l ME....and Many Many other Friends On here....I know it's not the same....But Hey.....Can You imagine trying to Dig....Dig....Dig....through this without this forum??? I can't...in fact...never could make it before I found this wonderful Site!! And Yes....We certainly ALL have issues...But keep talking about ALL of those Crazy days...The thing is.....One Day You will look back at all this....and not only be VERY PROUD...as You should be....But will Laugh like Crazy.......The Phone....I know it S___ked.....But it could be So much worse...It's replaceable...of course when it happened to ME....You probably wouldn't have made ME feel better back then??? Now the Cheesy Coffee....That WAS FUNNY!!! Love Your Honesty...keeping It So Real is why You Two Titans are getting such a HUGE following!! So Many out there can relate!! Enjoy that Hot Bath Mommy....and soak that BEAST away.....and when Your done.....Let him Flow down the DRAIN!!! By the way...Your doing a Great Job of being Positive....even with the STUFF that's knocking YOU around Today!! Proud of You Mommy...Stay Strong Titans!!...Remember that everything happens for a reason! If it changes YOUR life, then let it. No One said it would be easy, they just PROMISED it would be worth it!! ....it Will.....I promise!!!..xoxo
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  22. #652
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I am doing my very, very best!Trying to remember what you said....my words become me! And like butterfly said, I attract what I am! So, although today was really a sh...ty day..... evening not ending much better....I am continuing to try my best to stay on top, on the UP side. Totally digging, seemed like every moment I was pulling for strength today.... but still keeping on. I just want to look at my counter app! lol I know exactly how many days, etc. it has been, but I still like looking at it. No question, I freaked significantly over the phone issue due to not being able to check in here during the day. But I made it! Another day down. And I agree.... I did a much better job staying positive through the difficult coping moments..... almost lost it, but held on! Thank you Dave!

  23. #653
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christa1234 View Post
    Reading this this morning and feeling like I can beet this hydrocodone addiction. I'm going to get out of bed and start my day without it. Tapering isn't working for me. Thank you all for posting. Reading your progress helps
    Glad you are here Christa! It helps us that other people are benefiting from our daily back and forths whatever they may be... at that moment, by moment, by moment

    You can totally beat it once you decide in your mind it is time. Stick around this board.... a life changer for me. Never ever would I have been brave enough without having my friends here, and TONS of good advice from the experts. You've found a good place to start!

  24. #654
    TigerLily32 is offline Senior Member
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    Oh no not the phone! I'm sorry! That would send me into a panic attack. Sorry your day wasn't a great one. I thought of you and sunshine while I was at Disneyland, running like kids from ride to ride enjoying the natural high! You were there with me in spirit
    Hoping you have a good night with your little one xoxo
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  25. #655
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Sorry I was not around had to run over to my daughters friends house as they were there by them selves and was worried about the "stalker".....Really I wanted to get on this board. I am so sorry you had a rough night as well. Not far night should be easy after you had a bad day. When are you getting a new phone? Keep digging mommy. I had to dig dig dig today as well. It was better than yesterday but I still hate dealing with the anxiety. I wish I could send warmer temps your way but I only do sunshine sorry . I heart you lots!!!!! Tomorrow is going to be a better day. I am so sorry I know when you have bad days how it takes every thing in you to fight. It is no fun to walk around with that feeling. xoxoxo
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  26. #656
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by TigerLily32 View Post
    Oh no not the phone! I'm sorry! That would send me into a panic attack. Sorry your day wasn't a great one. I thought of you and sunshine while I was at Disneyland, running like kids from ride to ride enjoying the natural high! You were there with me in spirit
    Hoping you have a good night with your little one xoxo
    Just the daydreams alone are worth it. I can close my eyes and almost her my kiddo squealing with delight at those princesses. One day..... just another goal, right? So glad y'all are having fun! I envy you even more if it is warm there! lol Enjoy!

  27. #657
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Speaking of how I managed to uplift myself today: I started a partial new playlist on the laptop, Pandora.. found two newer songs I really liked.... just happy feeling songs.....Milky Chance, Stolen Dance and Vance Joy, Riptide. I just think they are fun songs.... something to listen to while I wait to see if my old playlists can be recovered. I am already starting over on the laptop! Can't be w/o my music!!! Good night titans. Ihope we all dream of beaches with seashells and nothing more. xoxox
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  28. #658
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    Mommy - sorry I was not more supportive yesterday... You prevailed though. Please know people, like myself, are reading your thread and saying, Wow. Good for you. We are pulling for you. Life is challenging you right now, and you are putting your hand out and saying, no. You are not running me over. I can do this. Proud of you Mommy. I have told you many times, you are doing this with a little one is nothing short than awesome. You will never be alone Mommy--not as long as you are on these threads. We all are pulling for you to have a much better day today.
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  29. #659
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning mommy.....New day today and its Friday!!! Sun is out here so thats a good thing but very cold with record breaking temps. I am going to plow thru another day of the project. Have a very very very good day today. I will be around this morn but will check back in later this evening. xoxoxo Sending extra good vibes your way!!

  30. #660
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Another ice day, all school cancelled. They just shut down the interstates north of campus. So at least today, being stuck inside doesn't leave me with no contact to anything! I still have my phone sealed in a bag of rice. I hear it probably doesn't work, but nothing else I can do with it for the time being. Stuck inside today, but staying warm!

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