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Detox in full force, need help
  1. #751
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    I was reading some of my earlier threads. I was so positive how it's goung to be so much better and so hapoy to be moving forward..etc. etc.. Then you can see all the patients slowly gong down hill. I really thought I was going to gradually just keep moving towards this happy spot and then my eyes finally open and its this new and wonderful life. I definetly thought I would have more energy and want to have a much cleaner house by now. Oh well....more time for this girl.

    Mommy don't let othres give you a bad vibe. Maybe hit the gym.. I saw all the vitamins Tiger was posting about but I know my pharmacist told me to stay awaybfron the St. John's. I have the b6 wich they mention as helping but that can give you energy and don't want it to make my Herat race faster. Maybe I will try the gabba. Idk. I hope you have a better evening.
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  2. #752
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I have decided to post some feelings of gratitude. They may come across as wacky right now, but Maybe it will be something that gets added to as I continue to rack up clean days..... but for now, here is what I am thankful for.

    My family. Immediate family anyway. My daughter is a blessing from the heavens. My husband, while he drives me totally insane at times, is a source of strength that I have no concept of. He has willpower that I never knew existed. And I am trying to learn from that how to "stay clean" and HAPPY.

    The rest of my family literally taught me, and I quote my uncle "the natural state of man is an altered state of consciousness". I believed from a young age that a buzz was "normal". This is why I am afraid I will never feel normal without one. Trying to change that mentality for my daughter's sake. Alcoholic parents and grandparents, drug dealing uncles, pill popping relatives, etc. .... I have all the bases covered in my dysfunctional family. But trying to view those as learning and growing experiences.... My grandmother named her dog Ganja. I was 6 years old chasing "Ganja" around the yard. Destined to be f-ed up in the head. Changing my destiny these days.... it is a big deal.

    So, I think my point is that I am grateful for the clarity to see life for what it really is....hard, for everyone. It is how you cope and deal with life's obstacles that separates us. I am striving to break free from the concepts I have been taught, and it is not easy....bc it is not easy to "teach an old dog new tricks".Not that I am all that 'old', but for greater than 30 years I believed a buzz was the norm. I have gratitude bc I now understand that it doesn't HAVE to be that way.
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  3. #753
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    I was reading some of my earlier threads. I was so positive how it's goung to be so much better and so hapoy to be moving forward..etc. etc.. Then you can see all the patients slowly gong down hill. I really thought I was going to gradually just keep moving towards this happy spot and then my eyes finally open and its this new and wonderful life. I definetly thought I would have more energy and want to have a much cleaner house by now. Oh well....more time for this girl.

    Mommy don't let othres give you a bad vibe. Maybe hit the gym.. I saw all the vitamins Tiger was posting about but I know my pharmacist told me to stay awaybfron the St. John's. I have the b6 wich they mention as helping but that can give you energy and don't want it to make my Herat race faster. Maybe I will try the gabba. Idk. I hope you have a better evening.
    I know exactly what you mean. When I read back on my posts, it sounds lie I was feeling better then than I am now. And that just stinks. This is NOT an always uphill process. It is ups and downs. Just hoping for more ups but never seems to work out that way. Sometimes, I just WANT to feel fuzzy and care free. And right not, I am simply not capable of that.

    That is awesome that your daughter is hanging tough with the boys. She sounds like a firecracker, just like her Mama. I know you are proud of how tough she is. It will serve her well in later years.I am still just so worried about screwing mine up.... she already has my nervous and OCD qualities. I try to hide them from her, but then I am hiding myself. Dunno what is better, to let her see it all or to protect her from it. I know I will teach her that any buzz is always temporary and will not make problems go away. All I can do is my best at being her Mommy....but these days doesn't feel like I am giving her my "best". Still, I am very grateful to have he chance to teach this little blonde haired angel how to be"normal".... whatever the he-- that means!

  4. #754
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy she is three stop worrying. Its not only about what they see from learned behavior but how you teach them. Its not all about don't do drugs, teach them to take care of yourself, love yourself, and make good decisions. Feel good about yourself. You have to have the basics in life to combat the big stuff. I know she gets that at home. Teach her to take a deep breath and think about the way she is acting when she has those 3 year old moments. It probably won't work but if you keep doing it eventually it becomes a habit and a good one to have. You teaching her right from wrong giving her support along with a happy and healthy home is all you can do. No matter how good of parents we try to be or do they have to make their own decisions nothing more you can do. You were taught from a young age because thats all you saw. She will see differently.

    I think about fuzzy all the time, how nice my house would be, the energy, no anxiety for a bit, and NO PAIN!!! I thought by now I would be posting about how its so wonderful...my life is soo much better. I see people post like that all the time and I want to believe but I can't for the life of me lie and say its something when its not. I think we have these great goals and would like a little something for them. I will be honest my good days are not really that GREAT. There better than the bad days....but I don't feel all happy about life....more like its boring. Truth be told.
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  5. #755
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    WE LOVE YOU DAVE! Hve a wonderful evening with your lady friend, she is lucky to have you! The #1 Titan, the Rock Star. Have fun, you will be missed! xxoxoxoo

    p.s. I have green eyes, too!
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  6. #756
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    I have hazel green eyes also!!! Yes Dave have a very very good time!!

    Good night mommy have sweet dreams. Hopefully more sunshine tomorrow!! xoxoxo Big Hugs!!!
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  7. #757
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    So we have a green eyed team. Sunshine.. you must be totally HOT. Dark skin, tall, long wavy hair, a nice tan, I think you are the MILF here Hot Stuff! My Italian mamacita!

    For me, we always sing van halen "oooh, I'm hot for teacher" joke of course but they think of me like that bc I look so young,not your typical chem teacher description. It throws them off until they hear how serious I really am about those mole conversions and such,

    Love you guys, for making me laugh when nothing else does. xoxoxoxo
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  8. #758
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    I have hazel green eyes also!!! Yes Dave have a very very good time!!

    Good night mommy have sweet dreams. Hopefully more sunshine tomorrow!! xoxoxo Big Hugs!!!
    I love you sunshine, you are the same age as my sister, and equally important to me. I do hope one day to make our beach trip reunion/at reality and the best beginning the best ever. I heart you.Sweet dreams.
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  9. #759
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    I hope You Gals make that trip a reality as well....How Cool would that Be?? So....We are the Green Eyed Bunch.....Eh......We Have a Crazy Mamma.....A HOT...."Sunshine".....Nice!! You are Probably Hot Too Crazy Mamma....Just won't admit it........I think Your ALL Hot....and Great Support for each other....and ME......and So Many others on Here!! You Two have REALLY Taken OFF on this forum.....NOBODY....That I can think of....posts like You Two Titans.....well....maybe a few....I don't follow everyone?? Glad You Ladies Played Nice tonight....I had a Good time....But I do Miss You All.....It's Really Nice to Have someone to check in with.....DAILY!!! Used to be like that when I first started....Cyber Hugs To You Titans....Love You Ladies....and everything You've already Become!! My Rockstars...Stay Strong Titans....And Sweet Dreams.xoxo
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  10. #760
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning mommy. Nobody post like we do.....because we like to socialize. Its too bad Dave we could not have gone over wardrobe before your date. Unless you are one of those people that always wear the same thing. Good idea to take it slowly....makes it all worth it and special.

    The sun is shining here!!! Its going to warm up to 43 this afternoon so I will be able to get my walk in. Have a good day. I don't have much going on today....I am having dinner and movies as well tonight with some of my girlfriends. Will check back in later. xoxo
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  11. #761
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    I love you sunshine, you are the same age as my sister, and equally important to me. I do hope one day to make our beach trip reunion/at reality and the best beginning the best ever. I heart you.Sweet dreams.
    That post had me all ohhhhh....Yes I do hope we can make our beach trip a reality. We have so much in common. I heart you!!

  12. #762
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good night mommy!!! Have a good time with hubby!!! Will catch up with you tomorrow!!! xoxoxo

  13. #763
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning mommy. I hope you are having a good time on your weekend get away. How sweet of hubby!!! This is perfect and I know it is going to lift your spirits for the week!! So happy you are taking some me time. Please fill us in when you have time and our back home.
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  14. #764
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good night mommy!! Sweet dreams. I hope you got all the chores done so you can begin your week out good and had a very very very nice dinner. I am grateful we both have rocks and amazing hubbies. All the good they do really does make up for the "rough" moments they put us through. I am going to have to dig dig dig this week as the sun has left for 5 days . xoxo

  15. #765
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Sweet dreams to you, too! I spent so much time with you all on Friday, that I am kinda having cyber friends wds after ths weekend, lol. Tomorrow is just the beginning of a work week but I miss chatting already. Same weather forecast for me.....no sun until Thursday they say.... oh no. I am hoping they have just predicted this week wrong. No sun today either. we are in the same place weather-wise! Hope you sleep well! I heart you Sunshine! xoxoxox

    66 for you is very near....... I should be 63 tomorrow. And next weekend, gain an hour of daylight! The changes are coming for the better, I feel!
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  16. #766
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Sweet Dreams Crazy Mamma....Glad Your Weekend Was Awesome.....Hubby....Maybe not so Bad....hmmm??....What a Guy....Your Rock!! Stay Strong Titans..xoxo

  17. #767
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning mommy. I am 2 days ahead of you my first day was 28th. So we are well on our way to breaking that cycle mentally. The weather is going to make for a blahhhh week. Somehow we will need to plow thru it. Don't like it none the less. We will have to do another cyber night out again soon! With this weather we may need it sooner than later. Will check in later. Extra hugs...and if you see any beams of sun trying to break thru the clouds that is me....I am trying to add just few rays in between the clouds. Xoxoxo
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  18. #768
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Still waiting on some sunbeams! Rain, rain, go away! The forecast says more snow on Wednesday! Oh no! We already have to give up Easter break & now half of a Saturday scheduled April 11. I am chanting: No more snow! Gotta turn in midterm grades by Friday..... Kinda hard bc not much to grade & average. We haven't had a full week of school since I don't even remember when. I hope this winter weather will miss you this time at least .... Im afraid I am right in its path! Come on mother nature, Bring us spring, not snow!

  19. #769
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    Count down to march break is on! 2 weeks for the school I work at! It can't come soon enough but at the same time I remember a wise friend telling me not to wish away the days.
    Before I lived in the middle, not the highs or lows, I always had to plan or look forward to something. Its kind of boring living in the middle but I think Im going to like it here!
    Just stopping in to say hi and check in on ya! Keep up the great work and inspiration!
    Love and light xxoo
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  20. #770
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy we are almost to spring maybe just one more or maybe two weeks of this. It can't last forever we are almost there. I am so ready....I still ask myself...why did I want to stop in winter....ugghhh but so so glad I did not wait till the spring to stop. I am going to bed will check in the morning. If you had rain today all day its coming my way.....ugghhh.

    I am having an issue with my daughters school. She got pushed by this kid that has already been a problem prior to this in which my daughter has brought to the attention of a counselor. It is my view point that when a child lays a finger on her she should punch her back however that is not the schools policy. Today she pushed my daughter in which she fell off the bench, hit her head, blacked out for a few seconds, has a huge bump on her head, and a headache. The school is going to find out what this very unhappy mommy sounds like. Next time my daughter is going to punch this child back and I do not care what the school does to her. We will take the suspension but this other child is going to learn she is not going to touch my daughter one more time. I am not a violent person nor do I want to teach this to my children but you don't keep letting others slap, kick, and push you. If the school can't take care of the situation then the next time it happens she will.....have to stick up for yourself at some point.

    Good night mommy. I am done with this day. Another day down!!! Big hugs!! xoxoxo
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  21. #771
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I agree with you about not letting her get pushed around! If the school will not step in and do something about it. If she hit her head and blacked out, that is serious! I understand what you mean, caught between a rock and a hard place..... you want to teach her to be peaceful but at the same time people cannot run over her. That is a hard call to make, but I would definitely be letting the school know how I felt as well. Mama Bea comes out and they better listen!

    It has been a gloomy, rainy, dreary day. I pushed through and can count another day. But today is one of those days I just want to go into a little hole and hide. Had a hard time today, just dealing in general. This is a super busy week, and I am SO behind that getting grades turned in this week will be very hard. Of course, the people up top are not going to move the deadline for midterm grades, even though we have missed most of the last couple of weeks. Ah well, not really anything serious to stress over, just feeling very busy and feeling the pressure. Dig, dig, digging today. I have been trying not to spread gloom over the board.... been reading but not wanting to be complaining, yet overall 63 was no good.

    So glad you got some sun today! Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if my weather comes your way, it is yuck! Maybe it will move north instead and you will have another sunny day. I hope so! Hope you have sweet dreams. Big big hugs! xoxoxox

  22. #772
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Sorry your Day was a Downer Crazy Mamma.....Ups and Downs....It's Ok....You Had an Awesome Weekend....Treasure that....and the good days inbetween.......Never like to hear about the Yucky Days...But....Don't worry about talking about them....You and Sunbeams Have been keeping it real this whole time....No reason to Sugar Coat anything Now....And You didn't....That's Nice!! I get getting busy...and just not into posting a day or two....or even 3...or ..4....You Just Need to take care of You Mommy... You and Sunbeams have been Awesome in spreading yourselves around on this forum.....and Helping Others....Not just with your Own threads.....which have Been Sooo Huge for others.....but....Also checking in on...and supporting others.....On their threads!! Keep up the good work Mommy.....I hope and Pray Yo get some good rest tonight....and tomorrow is a better Day for You....I Bet it WILL BE!!! Stay Strong Crazy Mamma!!..xoxo
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  23. #773
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks, Dave. As usual, I feel an uplift from your words. Tomorrow will be better I hope. Raining all day again, but it will be almost 70 degrees.... this crazy weather is contributing to my crazy Mommy state This will be the first time I have pushed through a "grades due"week without the beast. It's a lot of extra testing and grading and just much busier than usual. I am not used to being this busy while trying to put me first. Trying to take a breather every chance I get..... just not getting many chances during the day. Beam me back to the hidden cabin in the woods, please!

    Hope you had a great day out there in 12's country. It looks like I have been getting the typical Seattle weather, you can have it back whenever you are ready! Thanks for bringing me back to my focus, as usual. xoxox sweet dreams Dave.

  24. #774
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    Mommy - have a good day. You will push through and get done what needs to be done. The important thing is, you will do it without the pills. So proud of you. Post your feelings. It helps you and others. Every day is not a bed of roses, everyone needs to hear that too!

  25. #775
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy have a good day. The lovely cold and rain started in last night. Not fun at all. Got my walk in yesterday so hopefully that will help carry me thru. Put a call into the school regarding the situation with my daughter. I was very calm and told them although this is not how I would handle the situation it did not matter and we our teaching out daughter that we have to follows rules regardless of how we feel. With that I want answers I don't feel like this is an accident of being shoved. She is interviewing other kids and iss getting to the bottom of the situation. Shall keep all of you updated.

    Sorry you are so busy plow thru it mommy. No fun in this weather.....I know. Xoxoxo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-03-2015 at 10:16 AM.

  26. #776
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Missing you sunshine! I hope the school does the right thing, they need to give you answers at least. Hopefully it will go smoothly. I know worrying about your kids, esp having to while they're in school, that's not acceptable, I sure hope it's better today for your girl, and for you.

    The rain is here to stay for s couple more days..... Prob turning to ice & snow here tomorrow... And I am not happy about that at all! I need to give my tests this week in order to have grades, canceling school again will be terrible. Going to pray it misses us, but from forecast I think it's no chance I get missed. So ready for spring!! Anyway, hope your day goes well! Big hugs. Xoxo

  27. #777
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Ok. Braided my hair & listened to Bon Jovi. Starting to feel better now! I will be more positive later on....... I hope the braid fixes everything!

    Seriously. It is so warm here today that the crickets are chirping. Those crickets are gonna freeze to death tomorrow! I feel bad for them. But it's not possible to rescue all of the crickets! I have a funny story about rescuing crickets...... Will have to share later. Hubby going to run "errands", never really know what THAT means. Ugh. Be back later when I'm not taking care of Everything by Myself!!!!! Humph & blahhhhhh' lol
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-03-2015 at 07:22 PM.

  28. #778
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Complain away mommy. I am over this day. Sun...sun please come back. Can't wait for sat when the kids baseball starts up. Since there are so many new kids on this team of my daughter that I don't know and it is always so funny the first game...they don't know I am the parent of the "girl" on the team. Not to mention she is better than 75% of the other kids on her team. Funny to see the mothers almost holding their breath when she is at bat and the ball comes flying at her....then when she hits it....it's all about the girl power. Then I will get which son is yours...."that's my daughter over there".

    I need my braids today as well.
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  29. #779
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sunshine1112 View Post
    Complain away mommy. I am over this day. Sun...sun please come back. Can't wait for sat when the kids baseball starts up. Since there are so many new kids on this team of my daughter that I don't know and it is always so funny the first game...they don't know I am the parent of the "girl" on the team. Not to mention she is better than 75% of the other kids on her team. Funny to see the mothers almost holding their breath when she is at bat and the ball comes flying at her....then when she hits it....it's all about the girl power. Then I will get which son is yours...."that's my daughter over there".

    I need my braids today as well.
    I love the thought of you in the stands, secretly being mama to the awesome girl powerhouse. That makes me smile, that you get to "beam" about your girl being better than most of the boys.... I love the Girl Power!!! Girls rule, and boys drool!!

  30. #780
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    Attention, attention. Ladies $ gentlemen, I have something happy to report..... Kiddo just let me put her hair in piggy braids. Yes, the child who never allows me to 'touch' her hair . She's wearing piggy braids. I am smiling for sure! Tribute to you sunshine! The girls in my house are all piggy braided up tonight! Xoxo
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