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Detox in full force, need help
  1. #811
    bellaj828 is offline New Member
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    My response was very late, lol. But you made it through!! Woohoo

  2. #812
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning mommy!! I am still feeling gitty from last night!!! . First day of ball games today. Hubby got me a matching hat for my daughters team....I won't get to see my sons full game as daughters is at the same time. I will get pics!!! Catch you later today!! Sun is out!!! Hopefully my brain is healing with all the natural good flowing juices. Woke up with anxiety as usual but it will ease up at the game. Xoxoxo

  3. #813
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I hope you have a great day at the games! It will do you good to sit in the sunshine all day. I am also still excited. But of course, anxious. I am determined to fond something fun today to lift my spirits. It is sunny and warmer. I am struggling with motivation as always but hopeful I can turn it around today. Going to get out. That is a must! I am sure I'll talk to ya soon! xoxoxo Soak up that sun!

  4. #814
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    Hi Mommy!! Hope u r well today. Its a new day, and we r freeeee lol. I either didnt know or remember u were over on this page. Ive tried to find u on Needs to Talk, unsuccessfully. At least now i know whete to find u! Have a great day. xo Mel
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  5. #815
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    Mommy - hope you got out yesterday and enjoyed yourself. Do the same for yourself today. You deserve it. Have a great day. The motivation part is hard, but one day, I have to believe, it will just "click."
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  6. #816
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Good morning mommy!! Bright skies today for me!! I hope you have a wonderful day. Xoxoxo
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  7. #817
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Thanks Mel, Hope, and of course Sunshine. Was finally able to get out of the house yesterday, made it to the gym but I felt like a weakling, been too many days since I went. This weather has been cramping my style! Got to go out to eat Thai again (it is just too good). Got some groceries. Yesterday is was beautiful and sunny and I managed to make it turn into a pretty good day. Things went downhill in the evening once we got home, but all in all, I slept well after a decent Saturday.

    Today, not going so smooth. This week is our is Spring Break, and the previous weather forecasts had said warmer temps with most days at least some sun. Was looking forward to some time at the park, just outside in general. But today, the forecast suddenly changes and we have rain coming this afternoon, rain for days. Kinda puts a damper on what I was hoping for, and I am plain ole disappointed, was really really looking forward to some outside time.

    To add to all this fun, we have more big driveway issues. We are way out in the country, our mile long driveway is all gravel. Usually no big deal, but there are a few low ground spots that are destroyed from the snow and ice sitting on it for weeks, most gravel has washed away completely and it is a huge mud hole. With more rain coming, for days, it is going to be even worse. Need to replace the gravel that's been washed away, but can't even get a gravel truck to it right now it is all so muddy. Gonna get even muddier here real soon.

    Anyway, it's all just life right? I am trying to see it that way. Until, Hubby wakes up in a panic because the forecast changed completely this morning, he thought he had a few sunny days coming to work on it. is outside frantically digging trenches to try to direct the coming rain around the bad spots. Also, he forgot the time changed and feels like he has wasted time he could have been already working on it. So, now the person who is usually the calm one, is freaking out too. Does nothing for the anxiety, right?

    So, I am stuck...... again. I literally cannot go out of my driveway. It is totally gray and cloudy outside, when I expected to wake to sun. Oh. My. Gosh. My coping skills are at negative 50. With this panic from hubby, who is usually Mr.Cool over most of these "just life" kinda problems, and this super-needy, attention-demanding, yet completely adorable 3 year old angel of mine, she is already soooooo stir crazy stuck here with me and my blah acting self...... well, today I am feeling a bit of anxiety to say the least....... welcome Spring "Break"! I am so glad to see you, lol. All this time off at home is going to be SUCH a nice change for me (written in sarcastic font).

  8. #818
    TigerLily32 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    Thanks Mel, Hope, and of course Sunshine. Was finally able to get out of the house yesterday, made it to the gym but I felt like a weakling, been too many days since I went. This weather has been cramping my style! Got to go out to eat Thai again (it is just too good). Got some groceries. Yesterday is was beautiful and sunny and I managed to make it turn into a pretty good day. Things went downhill in the evening once we got home, but all in all, I slept well after a decent Saturday.

    Today, not going so smooth. This week is our is Spring Break, and the previous weather forecasts had said warmer temps with most days at least some sun. Was looking forward to some time at the park, just outside in general. But today, the forecast suddenly changes and we have rain coming this afternoon, rain for days. Kinda puts a damper on what I was hoping for, and I am plain ole disappointed, was really really looking forward to some outside time.

    To add to all this fun, we have more big driveway issues. We are way out in the country, our mile long driveway is all gravel. Usually no big deal, but there are a few low ground spots that are destroyed from the snow and ice sitting on it for weeks, most gravel has washed away completely and it is a huge mud hole. With more rain coming, for days, it is going to be even worse. Need to replace the gravel that's been washed away, but can't even get a gravel truck to it right now it is all so muddy. Gonna get even muddier here real soon.

    Anyway, it's all just life right? I am trying to see it that way. Until, Hubby wakes up in a panic because the forecast changed completely this morning, he thought he had a few sunny days coming to work on it. is outside frantically digging trenches to try to direct the coming rain around the bad spots. Also, he forgot the time changed and feels like he has wasted time he could have been already working on it. So, now the person who is usually the calm one, is freaking out too. Does nothing for the anxiety, right?

    So, I am stuck...... again. I literally cannot go out of my driveway. It is totally gray and cloudy outside, when I expected to wake to sun. Oh. My. Gosh. My coping skills are at negative 50. With this panic from hubby, who is usually Mr.Cool over most of these "just life" kinda problems, and this super-needy, attention-demanding, yet completely adorable 3 year old angel of mine, she is already soooooo stir crazy stuck here with me and my blah acting self...... well, today I am feeling a bit of anxiety to say the least....... welcome Spring "Break"! I am so glad to see you, lol. All this time off at home is going to be SUCH a nice change for me (written in sarcastic font).
    Mommy I am so sorry. I don't even know what to say. So big big hugs your way. If you were closer I'd have you come over and treat you to a scalp massage, shampoo blowdry and Mani-Pedi!
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  9. #819
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    Mommy - I think it's the beast trying to test you again. You will prevail through all of this. Easier said than done. Oh, I know, but you are tough (in a nice sort of way, of course). We are going to have to face these valleys at some point. You have had some valleys in the past and you have gotten through it. I am hoping you and your little girl can go somewhere, even for a day, and so something fun this coming week, and then I am hoping you can get a sitter, and take a day and do something nice for you this coming week too. It's important. You have come so far. Hang in there Mommy. (I hope you can at least make it to the gym--it does really help).
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  10. #820
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Hang Tough Crazy Mamma....I So want to hear My Future 12's Fan Feeling Better....Future 12's Fan.....Did I say That??....Gotta Run...But will check in Later....Cyber Hugs Coming Your way....From the Sunshine State....??? Don't mean to rub it in.....But....Man....We have been Sooo Opposite in Weather....I know it is supposed to end Soon....and Then I pray You Get More "Sunbeams" Sent straight from Hawk Country!!....Stay Strong For Just Today Momma!!..xoxo
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  11. #821
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Mommy sorry so down. I came in from sitting in the sun to chexk the board and now all I want to do is go back outside. We are getting 5 days of all cloudy skies as well. Needless to say I am already freaking out about it!...pause..pause....much better....finally got smart and have the iPad outside with me. I wish I could give you some of my sun today!! I am literally outside trying to worship it. Not good when stress levels are so high. My hubby is so my rock and when he is off or in bad mood throws me into a whirl wind like no other. Days are hard but can be oh so much harder when we lose that support system. Try and stay calm. You have this. I will hang with you during spring break and help keep you cheered up all week!! Big big hugs your direction!!! Xoxo
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  12. #822
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Each and every one of you guys (mostly gals, I know, lol- just figure of speech) thank you from the bottom of my heart. It's like you rush over to my thread when I post of bad times. It lifts me up knowing the support is here.

    Trying to recover now from big blow up number 2 today with hubby. He is stressed too, I know this. But he is angry. He says he doesn't know me anymore bc all my real feelings come out on this board. He's outside working in the rain to get away from me, said he was leaving but so far hasn't made it past the shed. I have no clue what that means, no good at reading men emotions that were woman grown (some of u should get the being raised by woman wolves reference here). I am out of emotional gas...... But just reading your support is giving me a boost.

    Now to wake the adorable 3 ye old demon from her slumber. Pray the rest turned her back into my angel. My heart & my spirit need the sunshine she brings. If angry kiddo wakes up instead, I may havta go AWOL tonight from all of this madness!!!!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-08-2015 at 04:43 PM.

  13. #823
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Tiger, with my being off work & all rain forecast, if I could afford the ticket these days, I would likely be hopping a plane to Cali. I could very much use the TLC!!!!!! And the oysters! And the butter!
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  14. #824
    Lalalimbo123 is offline Member
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    I've been following you from day 1. I admire your determination. Sorry, your having a fallout with the hubs. Mine says the same thing and truth be told...he doesn't. He has no idea. I'm happy that your able to focus on you regardless of the circumstances! Hugs!!!

    Limbo
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  15. #825
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Hope- you're probably dead on with that. This is a test. It's all been a test. The beast ain't getting MY life back. I was just as sick of that lifestyle as I am of this one. But this rut of bad days has my head spinning.... At least I've got my girls! And my fave.... THE Dave! All in my corner. Thanks all.

  16. #826
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davepeerson View Post
    Hang Tough Crazy Mamma....I So want to hear My Future 12's Fan Feeling Better....Future 12's Fan.....Did I say That??....Gotta Run...But will check in Later....Cyber Hugs Coming Your way....From the Sunshine State....??? Don't mean to rub it in.....But....Man....We have been Sooo Opposite in Weather....I know it is supposed to end Soon....and Then I pray You Get More "Sunbeams" Sent straight from Hawk Country!!....Stay Strong For Just Today Momma!!..xoxo
    So crazy that YOU, in the rain capital of the US, is the "sunshine state" (for now at least) while we, being actually pretty close to the true sunshine state, have rain or snow ALL day every day. But, For The Record, I won't even wear the loyal 12's hat unless it is strictly for you! Never a loyal 12 here! haha
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  17. #827
    Sunshine1112 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sadmommy13 View Post
    Hope- you're probably dead on with that. This is a test. It's all been a test. The beast ain't getting MY life back. I was just as sick of that lifestyle as I am of this one. But this rut of bad days has my head spinning.... At least I've got my girls! And my fave.... THE Dave! All in my corner. Thanks all.
    Mommy I am always in your corner!!! Fighting the good fight everyday with you. I think our time is coming soon. I started my new vitamins today so hopefully they will help and will let you know. I hated we were off sync today so prefer when we are both having the good days. After today with a few days in the sun I feel stronger that spring is so out time. How many days till spring? Then we will be on our way to the 90 day goal! Xoxox big hugs your way!!
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  18. #828
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Only about 12 days left until the first day of spring. That is what I am counting on to turn all this "blahness" around. Warm weather, sunny skies, flowers to plant.... just cannot come soon enough!

  19. #829
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    And less than one hour til I am 10 weeks clean. Can't say I don't feel powerful. Ups & downs, yes. But I am so much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for!!!!!

    Anybody reading considering the jump, afraid of the feelings, just do it. The fear & shame is worse than the jump!!!! I started as sad mommy, then semi happy mommy, now crazy mommy..... But my real name is Survivor Mommy, the original Titan. Now I have an army of Titans, friends, and I will never look back with regret!!!! Even on my worst clean days, I am better off than the best using day. Period. Nuff said!

    Sweet dreams all! Xoxoxo
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  20. #830
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Did You Say 12.....12......TWELVE....Days Till Spring!!....Nice Ring to that....12.......12......Yep!! Glad Your staying Grateful Crazy Survival Mommy....You have been battling Hard....You "Sunbeams".....and That TIGGER!! Glad You 3 are sticking together thru the Good and the Not so Good days!!! You need each other to lean on.....Huge!!
    Hope Your Hubby comes around....( Just can't figure those Men out???)...Well....seems like last time you had a falling out with him....The Surprise Weekend came about....Sooo....Don't loose Hope On Him Mamma!! Rest Well....and Stay Strong For Another Moment!!..xoxo
    Last edited by Anonymous; 03-09-2015 at 01:19 AM.
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  21. #831
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Mommy,

    Wahooo--10 weeks. That is awesome! Amazing isn't it? I know for a fact that although I used to cope, it also deeply embedded the belief that I deserved all the cr*p that was handed to me. Once I had some clean time and the guilt began to subside, I began to think, "Wait a minute. I deserve better." It was suddenly OK to stick up for myself--because I deserve it. It was OK to be piss*ed off. It was just OK to react to all the stuff that I was able to ignore while using. I kinda liked that piss*ed off feeling to be honest .

    Peace,

    Cat
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  22. #832
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    Your doing Great Mommy !!! Im 6months clean tomorrow from a 10yr 180 to 210 mg sometimes higher oxycodone ride.I used suboxone short term only for 5days to help get me through the worst of the detox it still wasn't a cake walk but the suboxone helped tremendously rather just than stopping cold turkey. I was back at 100% in about 30 days.I took L-tyrosene and 5htp along with a super b complex vitamin and a multi vitamin everyday and drank tons of water.I will never go back ever again.It's a natural high all in itself just being clean and sober and not letting a little pill run your whole life everyday from sun up to sundown. .To everyone who is contemplating qutting do it and break free it sooo much worth a little pain for a few weeks to get your life back again.

  23. #833
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Nice Post....Shawnzdone4ever...Always Love seeing a positive post....about How Freedom from the BEAST is feeling Good!! Your Sooo Right....The Natural High is So Much Better....especially....at least in MY case...The Drug induced One wasn't even working anymore.......I have said it before....But So worth repeating....My using in the last 3...4...5 years Plus....was ONLY to get to EVEN.....ZERO....I wasn't feeling Great Fuzzy feelings anymore....I was ONLY using to keep from getting SICK!! Now....I don't Have to do anything....But take My Vits...Get some exercise.....And Live Life....on Life's terms.....No Pills....No Booze....A VERY FREEING FEELING!!
    Sorry Crazy Mamma....Carrying on like that on Your Thread....But I know you don't mind!!...I hope You and hubby are Doing better Today....and that Your having a Good Day!! Congrats on 10 Weeks...I am So Proud Of YOU....and Your other 2 Titans!! Glad Our Paths have crossed.....Stay Strong Just For Today!!..xoxo

  24. #834
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    So happy for you Mommy - 10 Weeks!!!!! Wish there was a button on here to show fireworks. You have went through some stuff, and you have come through it and are doing it! Keep posting Mommy. You are a Titan.
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  25. #835
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by davepeerson View Post
    Nice Post....Shawnzdone4ever...Always Love seeing a positive post....about How Freedom from the BEAST is feeling Good!! Your Sooo Right....The Natural High is So Much Better....especially....at least in MY case...The Drug induced One wasn't even working anymore.......I have said it before....But So worth repeating....My using in the last 3...4...5 years Plus....was ONLY to get to EVEN.....ZERO....I wasn't feeling Great Fuzzy feelings anymore....I was ONLY using to keep from getting SICK!! Now....I don't Have to do anything....But take My Vits...Get some exercise.....And Live Life....on Life's terms.....No Pills....No Booze....A VERY FREEING FEELING!!
    Sorry Crazy Mamma....Carrying on like that on Your Thread....But I know you don't mind!!...I hope You and hubby are Doing better Today....and that Your having a Good Day!! Congrats on 10 Weeks...I am So Proud Of YOU....and Your other 2 Titans!! Glad Our Paths have crossed.....Stay Strong Just For Today!!..xoxo
    Of course I don't mind! I am always happy to hear from someone who is changing or has already changed. And of course, always always happy to see a DaveP post. Thanks Shawnzdone, for the encouragement. It is always needed AND appreciated!
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  26. #836
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    Your more than welcome sober & clean mommy.Look at you go im so proud of your progress! No looking back now for you only forward

  27. #837
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    Thanks Dave P too for your encouraging words.

  28. #838
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    How are you feeling at 10 weeks mommy? I've only got a 4 1/2 month jump start on you.But at 30 days after stopping oxycodone at high amounts 180 to 210 mgs daily alot of times more at 1month I was back at about 90% of my normal self.Are you taking L-Tyrosine, 5HTP, Vitamin B Complex, Magnesium and a daily multi vitamin. I really do believe taking these vital vitamins helped my brain heal so much faster and start producing endorphins quicker.

  29. #839
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    What's your temps been DaveP? It was 80 degrees here in Las Vegas today and forecasts of upper 80s this week.

  30. #840
    Sadmommy13 is offline Senior Member
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    I really don't feel 90% even at 2 months plus. I'm nervous all of the time. I do have good parts of days but usually i start really down in the mornings. I have bad dreams that make me feel anxious as soon as I realize I am awake. Makes me want to crawl back in bed & hide there. So while physicaly I feel a lot better, I think I am depressed much of the time. Paws maybe? I dunno. I get through it but def not 90% yet. I do take l-tyrosine, vitamin b, and just heard about the Mg so haven't taken that yet.

    Today is tough. Off work & the lack of being busy gives my mind too much time to think about the wrong things. Feeling low today. The lack of sun for days is contributing also.

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