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first post long time reader and opiate detox
  1. #1
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Default first post long time reader and opiate detox

    >> like to thank everyone who takes time from there own recovery or sobriety to give some feedback and encouragement to others. Getting clean needs to be a very selfish thing one tackles and i no its not always in ones best interest to give encouragement to others when dealing with a full plate out self. For this reason ive only been a reader for past years but this is my time finally so figured with all other changes >> post for once. Here is my background sorry for length but its 4am and im wandering the house trying to get some comfort for more then 2 mins

    Im 31 yrs old and live around the city of chicago so all other hawks fans welcome back to hopefully another long season. Cubs screw it waste of time ... I was always a health nut growing up in gym 6 nights a week played high school football with intent of going to college from it then it happened. Hit the wrong way in practice and life changed. My back was shot and the doc i saw decided it was to risky to do a surgery then tells me to take norco for pain as needed. I never used them. I upped my gym time focused on fixing my back the way a body was intended to do and went on w life minus football. Fast foward 2 yrs i graduated and went to union rather then college. First day on job i was hurting so after work i took out my bottle and had a pill. Another guy saw we talked a min about it and he said take a few extra once home u will love it. Well i did to much. Its now going into 2016 and i took those few extra july of 02. I lost my career my house my race car my family friends and last but not least myself. I dont no what happened or how it happened but i went from 19 to 31 basically overnight it seems. After 2 yrs of norcs i moved up to the infamous oxy. ( not trying to glorify it but from what alot of post and others opinions online its the cure all) which it did for me. Obviously it took 12 yrs of my life and an insane amount of $ to cause me to forget almost every important day for 12 yrs. Hell to me important days went by what i had in my bottle or who was gonna have the next batch to refill bottle. My doc cut me off in 09 for my addiction and trying to refill to often . now fast foward to current day. For past 3 yrs i havent missed a dose. Never went sick and caring was the last of my concerns. Until tuesday. I finally had a clear though for a very short time that afternoon. It was 4pm i looked in my jar and saw 1 80mg op left. What happened i just had 20 of them late sunday night after making my run to get threw work week. See in my head i said i was on 2 of them a day so >> get 20 for week u no just in case something came up. When in reality for the past 6 months that 20 got me to some point on thursday normally. Now i no i went a little heavy monday bc i had my first ever migraine all day at work and ended up in er that night to fix it. Im assuming the pill dose started it and the harder my head throbbed the more i ate so cycle wasnt ending on my own. Now tuesday night roughly 730 i figured i had 3 total for day only. I had my one left in jar so at 8pm i took it chewed the >>>> out of it and then i decided that was the end for me. My trip finally was at a stopping point and i was relieved. I spent all night trying to find subs to do a 6 week taper as talked about online. I was terrified i just went threw 20 80s in roughly 48hrs. For the first time in my long ride i was screwed. Couldnt find anything. I tell myself someones looking down on me bc my mind only had that clear thought for few seconds and i jumped b4 my drug addict thinking could overpower it. Suboxone is a magical thing ive always said it just wasnt gonna be able to ve my thing. >> been a lifer on it. Not that its wrong believe me im no saint and def no1 to judge others but we no what we want and i dont want a crutch holding me back again. Im now 33 hrs ct from my last oxy-all pills and its not what i expected. I built this up to myself as a life or death sickness based on what ive heard and read over to many years. I woke up yest morning expecting deathly ill sickness since it was just after 12 hrs from last dose after being up all night second guessing what i did. I had a short bathroom issue which afyer 2 immodium went away and my lack of energy. I took my last adderal around 1030am to get motivated for the day stopped while out to grab some health snacks and deal with my 2 stepsons once they got home from school. Throughout day i got the hot and cold constant sweeting and rls as 24hr mark came up. My fiance picked up my script that er gave of fioricet without codiene and around midnight i took 2 since i wanted to get some sleep. It didnt work and reminded me y i liked opiates not benzos and barbs. I finished my movie and started to pass. The wife as i call her seeing our 10yr an was this past 12th has been up back and forth trying to help me get threw this. Shes done so much and i no i have caused alot of pain bc my problem but thats the point of this hurt. It took 12 yrs to damage me to my rock bottom which i use losely bc my hole always got deeper so there was no bottom ever, so ive got to put in work and time to rid my body of this big pharma bull>>>> they developed to bring down society. Its now almost 6am and im still not much worse then my 24hr mark. I no im gonna need another dose for bathroom issue shortly but if i can only stop having to piss >> be okay. Sorry this book was so long i no im all over the place i figured >> just document my time hopefully help others in future who are looking to quit after extended amount of time and come off what i am now concidering a life threaten opiate intact. Feel free to comment if your gonna be nice. The neg people who i feel leave >>>> to only build up there misery can keep that >>>> to themselves. Im sick of reading those comments and nevermind im gonna get kids up for school. Maybe today the wife can go to bed when home from work since im off work again and not dying like i told her for however long shes been trying to get me help. Shouldve known w her being rn >> be wrong again. Oh Well i cant make it up to her now that im doing whats right and maybe she will get her wish of having the guy she fell in love with back. Thanks for listening. I hope this post can help others as so many have for me in past. Ill update tonight once im past 48hrs. This will be it for me there is hope and ive told myself to run threw any shole who stands in my way. But really just changed my # and master reset my phone to loss numbers to people who would love to set me back in my process

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome Tile and Horray for you! We don't often see negative comments on here. I have to admit, there are times that some folks, including me, will tell it just like it is in terms of addict thinking or behavior but at least for me it's not mean spirited. None of a one of us here who are in your position or been there has the right to judge. Cramming things down your throat while in detox doesn't work. What helped me was just knowing that there were others at the same point in detox/recovery as me and to read as many threads as I could watching the journey of others who actually made it. When I first started to read here I felt hopeless and had accepted being an active addict as my lot in life. It was right here where I found my inspiration.

    I spent my sleepless nights reading here for hours and it's what kept me going. After nearly 20 yrs of a hefty addiction, I am coming up at 6 yrs sober at the end of the year. It is possible. Stay tuned here and you'll get support. I would be mighty surprised if you got any negative comments. Advice? Definitely. Welcome.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  3. #3
    Poppy Girl 37 is offline Member
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    Hi Tile Setter,

    I am sorry to hear that you are going thru detox, but it sounds like you are handling it as well as can be expected. It's hard to face how many years we've given up to the beast, but what matters now is choosing not to give away any more. Congrats on taking the first step.

    I just wanted to welcome you to our little community. What Cat said is true. This is a positive and non-judgemental place.
    Keep posting. I believe that it helps.

    Just another addict fighting her way out,
    Poppy
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  4. #4
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Well im 39 hrs out roughly and so glad im not as bad as expected. One thing i read is life doesnt stop bc we are addicts. Oh is that true with having 12 and 11 yr old step sons. My wife came home from night shift at hospital with migraine. Shes a chronic suffer of 1 per week and changed from norco to imattex 2 yrs ago thank god bx that was my escape goat on hrs to by time b4 work picked up. Anyways i got call at home about older boy having issue at school and being taken to hospital. As much as i hurt i couldnt bother her while finally asleep so i drug my lazy no energy ass out to go deal with family issue. Times like this make that 1 pill to be present and deal with life thought come to mind. Trust me im not already waiting at er gatorade in hand and imodium in pocket. Could be a long process. That life is over. Im getting out easy compared to others and no that my life and family ars far more important then a dumb pill. I am not really nor ever been a talker or open person so sorrt for the length of both posts. Maybe that will shorten as hrs and days past. However on good note for a 39hr update from my last day at 320mg of op 80mg following up a 1260mg of same the day prior ive got the hot and cold. Constant sweeting upset stomach and had 1 loose stole at 7am when i then took 2 imodium and nothing since. Im gonna count my blessings on these last 2 days drink a 5 hr energy to be coherent enough to deal with doc walking to me currently and take life as a dad by horns free of opiates. Thanks for replys i truely do love this site its more like family then random users on other sites trying to learn new techniques and bash those trying to better themself. To anyone in my shoes stand in there and be strong. The mind is extremely powerful and trying to stay positive while the poisons leave our system will only cause the hell if u want to call it to fade quicker. So i convinced myself. I had to talk to ease my mind from making the dreaded call we all fight at this moment in life but doc just walked up so i have to go. Will upxate tonight while passing house. Much love and hope

  5. #5
    Iluvboston33 is offline Junior Member
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    It's so good to hear someone in a similar position as me take this plunge. I have watched all my friends grow up the right way and I have been spending the time shoving pills down my throat. I too look at my life and wonder where the last 12 years went. Everyone grew up and I feel like I still have the mentality of a 23 yr old... Because that is when I became an addict. I am now 35 and have nothing I want out of life. Thank you for your post, it gives me hope.... Something I desperately need right now. Congrats on taking the plunge, I hope to join you soon!! I'm so glad we have this forum, it is the best way too see ourselves how life can be - if we want it bad enough. Congrats again!!! Keep on with the hard work, I admire you and what you have done!

  6. #6
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Good morning everyone. I missed my 48hr update bc i was asleep and just got up at 445. I had some waking point throughout with changing of clothes and blanket from sweating but that was only once. I love this time of yr and cant wait to get out in woods to restock my deer meat. Im at hr 58.5 roughly and so far so good. I feel my stomach turning this morning and have the creepy skin crawl but after sitting out back for past 30 mins im getting cold. Tshirt and sweats with chicagos first freeze dont go to well. Buts its currently 41 by me and perfect. Im planning to get outside today and keep busy. I think the family emergency and being out from 830am to almost 7pm kept my mind going and my body. Hopefully the same goes today.

    Poppy
    I commened you for being an inspiration and trend setter on this site for alot of others who are in your old shoes. I lost a good friend last yr when he made switch from pills to tea. 27 yrs i had him in my life and every day i think about him. Thank you for doing what you have to help yourself first and the other internet world looking to move in the direction your going.

    Boston33
    Thanks for the encouragement. Ive read alot on this and others sites over the past years but this is my first time ever posting. I wish now >> given my encouragement to others who where helping me when they didnt even no it. Every one of us have our turning point at diff times of our lives. Mine took 12 yrs and god knows how much $ but im glad it came. I hope your dsy comes soon But if not dont rush it. We need to want this 100% b4 its worth doing. Stay true to yourself and be safe. Just no when your day comes it can ve done no matter how big or small the problem is.

    Im gonna enjoy the morning rise now and have everyone in my thoughts. Its a new day and a great day. Everyone be safe and best of luck
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  7. #7
    Pixiepoxie is offline Senior Member
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    tilesetter,

    Welcome to the Forum!

    As you've figured out, lots of support to be found here.

    Keep updating and posting, it really does help.

    Just wanted to say I'm thinking about you and cheering you on!

    Forward and Onward Troops!

  8. #8
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Well my burst of energy i woke with has faded and faded hard Im assuming its the lack of food based on the dizzyness that comes and goes. I no day 3 and 4 people say are the hardest im being to think its the starvation. Anyone have any ideas what to eat at this point. Nothing tastes right. Hell cigarettes taste bad today. I drink plenty of water and 4 to 6 Gatorade each day no matter what and it hasnt changed. I take multi vit every day also. Up until today ive had some fruit and crackers. Today just fruit but cant stand the dryness of crackers. During my running i though a milk shake might help settle my stomach. One sip and garbage it went. Ive tried an ensure since its filling but never could take one down. My main issue is the bad taste causes stomach to turn and dry heav. Not puking but almost. Thanks everyone for any input few more days and hopefully on my way up over the slow ride down

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    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Roughly 72 hrs into this and figure ill give quick post as i wait for my kid to come out from school holloween thing. Physically i feel okay. Hot cold excessive sweating of hands and feet only 1 bathroom issue first thing this morning. My energy level is at a 0 and i havent done as much as i like but tom is another day and it can only get brighter. I took a 2 hr nap around lunch time so im hoping im not up all night but take sleep as it comes. Mentally im all over the place. I learned what my wifes hair product smells like today after 10 yrs together. I hate it and swore she chamged products. I have a millon thoughta going threq my head and im almost lost bc i dont no what to make off it. For 12 yrs i had a one track mind and it wont consume me. My life looks bright and ill be something big again in due time. Good luck to wveryone in a similar place and stay strong i see my boy now good night
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  10. #10
    Pixiepoxie is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by tilesetter67 View Post
    Roughly 72 hrs into this and figure ill give quick post as i wait for my kid to come out from school holloween thing. Physically i feel okay. Hot cold excessive sweating of hands and feet only 1 bathroom issue first thing this morning. My energy level is at a 0 and i havent done as much as i like but tom is another day and it can only get brighter. I took a 2 hr nap around lunch time so im hoping im not up all night but take sleep as it comes. Mentally im all over the place. I learned what my wifes hair product smells like today after 10 yrs together. I hate it and swore she chamged products. I have a millon thoughta going threq my head and im almost lost bc i dont no what to make off it. For 12 yrs i had a one track mind and it wont consume me. My life looks bright and ill be something big again in due time. Good luck to wveryone in a similar place and stay strong i see my boy now good night
    tilesetter,

    Glad to see you are still posting. You are doing this.

    Everything you are feeling WILL PASS...just ride it out. You got this.

    You have come so far...keep moving forward! Your life will be so much richer once you get thru this.

    I wish I could help you in finding your appetite. I always have/had severe nausea and vomiting while detoxing. Keep the fluids going and if you are able to eat something, take your supplements with food if you can, at least that always helped me to not take them on empty stomach.

    Forward and Onward Troops!

  11. #11
    niecer is offline Senior Member
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    Tilesetter... I just now read your post and I'm so glad you decided to do this. I too seem to have lost about 30 years of my life. I never took a very high dose of pills but my life has always revolved around where to get the next pill. It's great not to have that be the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning. You will always get positive support here because we have all been through it or ARE going through it . Please keep posting. I can't tell you how much it has helped me. 40 days clean now and except for mild low energy and occasional insomnia, I pretty much feel normal again, whatever normal is .lol. Good luck.

  12. #12
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Niecer thank you for the support it goes along way knowing the days will b brighter sooner then later. Today is day 4. My last day 4 ever and its def an improvement from yest. I cut the 2 morning fiorecet ive been taking in half today. I didnt plan on using it at all hoping that was part of my lack of energy issue however after a long night of turning and sweating my anxiety was threw the roof about 8am. Hopefully tom goes better ive never liked those types but with changes going on with my body im scared it may grab hold of anything to keep from continue to shock itself. I managed to eat to oranges for bfast around 11. The juice in them where nice and actually didnt cause my normal gag reflex like last few days. The imodium i took at 6am doesnt seem to be working aswell so i may need another 2mg pill. Rather keep it at the 2 pills only so trying to tough that part out. With the constant sweating and sock changes and blankets-sheets ive learned alot about the laundry room over past few days. Esp the fact i hate my tile job and 8 yrs its time for new look. I guess the 700$ plus wasted twice a week will go far with updates aeound here. My energy is still low and ive napped 30 mins here and there throughout day so far but i started a b compkex pill today again now that stomach habdles it so hopefully that plays its part in future. Its amazing how fast yet slow time goes by during this. I dont no where my days have gone but when i sleep or watch clock time stands still. Had 1 craving today but took my younger boy shooting and it quickly went away. I think ill be off work next week also at this point. Hopefully not bc i nees to from how i feel i just cant wait to get in woods at 4am to enjoy nature for my first bow hunt of yr. Best of luck to all fighting this battle keep your head high and stay true to yourself not the drugs.
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  13. #13
    silverlining1 is offline Senior Member
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    Tilesetter....

    Can't believe I've missed your posts. But, keep up the good work. You are getting through and the woods will be wonderful for you. You are just a little older than one of my son's....so I will be following you with great interest. Not because he is in our boat, thank God, but just because I care about you. You have a family and seem like a great dad.

    You really are going through the worst right now....tomorrow will be better, you are young and strong and will, no doubt, be able to turn everything around.

    Please keep posting and let us know how you are, Tilesetter.......life will start getting brighter and brighter each day now.
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  14. #14
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Well day 5 is off to rough start. The wife doesnt understand how i still feel like i do. She doesnt get the addiction part even though her being in med field. I havent taking the fiorecet today has planned. Energy isnt mych diff but the body ach is def stronger. I was able to eat pancakes for bfast but nothing since then as stomach hasnt settled since 730 when i finished. Im heading out to avoid pushing my moidswings on her and boys. Hope to get my head under control soon today or i dont no where to turn. Any help would be great

  15. #15
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Good morning to all. I made it day 6. Last night was great and rough all in itself. I ended up staying by my dads all day watching football. From 5 to 8 i ended up eating nearly the entire large pizza that was ordered. Theae were small amounts but after 2 or 3 slices my atomach would settle and >> ve starving again. I was so happy until the enwrgy boost i woke with at 1am. I did some light exercise in bsement took a little higher dose of melatonin and managed to fall back asleep until a hr ago. I have a knot in my gut this morning but im happy the fog has lifted. I talked with wife while up last night and she thinks it is good for me to take a job in Cleveland. Its only 8 hr drive so i can still come home but gets me out of area to keep me from relapse. Im not sure if good idea but take it day by day first.
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  16. #16
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Ive read what others say helps w lack of energy and im at a lose. Ive got to find a way to be productive so i can take a job offer. This keeps me close to home and 12hr days 7 days week at double time pay for next 3 months. I figure it i worl myself like crazy i wont be able to think about pills. I no its not brightest idea to go back but im a jump first person clean up whats needed after type as i did coming off this >>>>. Any ideas would be great im trying not to put wotd out i want adds bc that world doesnt have or need my new contact

  17. #17
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hi There,

    Glad to see you're hanging in there. You are what, Day 6? Don't get discouraged! You are newly detoxed and barely at that. The absolute best thing you can do is to get busy. I remember the feeling of being all over the place, unable to concentrate and zero energy. I'm much older than you but I promise you, the busier I made myself, the better I felt. It only took me a couple/three days after completing detox before I was finally able to concentrate. The energy did take a little longer, but not much. Be mindful to stay hydrated, take vitamins and lots of protein. Activity will become your best friend as hard as that is to believe at the moment. It is true. You don't or won't need any chemical supplements. What you need is just a little more time to recover from your detox. Putting our bodies through that takes a toll. You got leaves that need to be raked? I do!! I think you get the picture. You'll bounce back by exercise and taking extra good care of your nutrition and body in general.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  18. #18
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Cat i get what your saying and thank you. This was a take it or leave it kinda offer and i left it. As much as i want to jump in i no i need to do things diff so this sticks. As far as staying busy ive done nothing but run around with family emergency >>>> since my day 2 so its by far easier today then at that point. Best part of having 11&12 yr old boys is the fact i never rake leaves. Im gonna continue my plan take this week to let body do what it needs and get a few days of hunting in near end of week. I spent a total of 9hrs in woods today walking trails checking cameras and just enjoying nature for the beauty it truly is.

  19. #19
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Well my anxiety is threw the roof tonight. I worried all day for energy and here i am full of it. If only my trade was a night thing >> be like superman at work.

  20. #20
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Well day 7 and >> love to say im clear and the world is full but its not that case for me yet. I read you have to get ur head out of ur head and im learning how true that statement was. I get the biggest burst of energy around midnight and my thoughts are in every which way. Glad not to much on pills but if they do come it shifts out if mind quickly. Ive still got alot if learning ahead of me but only time can make things get better

  21. #21
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Ive made it. Day 8. It feels good to say day 8 for my last time. Yest was rough but i took time to start repairing relationships with the past that i cut off bc my habit. I had some pride to swallow and alot of admitting i >>>>ed up but its a start. My cousin cried bc we where like brothers until this hell i surrounded myself with. So as tired as i felt i ended my day on a good note. I slept again from 10-3 so its looking to be a better day.

  22. #22
    Pixiepoxie is offline Senior Member
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    tile,

    Great job...day 8!

    Looks like you are taking some really positive steps.

    Keep up the good work!

    Have a great day and keep posting. I'm cheering for you!

    Forward and Onward Troops!

  23. #23
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Well tech its the morning of day 9. Yest was a good day for a change. Seemed like my head was under control and my body felt great. I was able to get to sleep about 10pm but as u see it didnt last long. I woke up at midnight with the worst panic attack and havent been able to get control of it. I tried to take a fioricet to get calming effect and its now been a hr and i cant. Im sitting out back alone in dark. My thoughts are going a millon miles per hr and no matter what ive tried i cant shut it off. I no the root of issue im supposed to be out of house at 4 to start working again but i dont think im ready for it. My plan was to hunt relax and enjoy few days in woods alone 30ft in trees but at this point its not financially doable. I was going over bills with wife yest and from what needs to be there just isnt bc my problem. At this point im committed bc i took my chancea and now a company is relying on me so im stuck and scared all in itself. Hell i dont no how to do my job without >>>>. I dont no how to not feel the physical hurt of being in construction i dont no what to do at break or lunch bc my entire career revolved around 1 thing. My only comfort in all this is i no the guy in charge well. I explained it all to him and hes gonna look out for me. Keep me on track and allow me to take days at my own pace for for week or so bc at one point he was a great friend that my habit caused to be pushed away. The world works in crazy ways. Me making the jump how i did seems crazy in itself but as long as i tell myself im not taking 1 pill today and i wont wake up sick or worried so tom can only be a better day then i guess the craziness is worth it.

  24. #24
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hey!

    How did your first day of work go? This sounds like such a wonderful opportunity. Truly a blessing that the guy you'll be working for knows what you are going through right now and giving you this chance. Construction is a demanding job in every regard. I don't pound nails or run an excavator but my entire family does so I know it well. Stay clear of troublesome folks and get to know all the good ones. It will be wonderful if you can reconnect as friends with this guy as well. Once we've been using for a while, our clean friends are gone and it doesn't seem as easy to find new ones. This might be your ticket out of hell, my friend. Busy days is all good. I promise you. Idle hours early in recover can be a deal killer in a heartbeat.

    Check in and give us some news.

    Peace,

    Cat

  25. #25
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Cat thank you for asking how my day went. I started slow but wasnt expected to get much done esp when my boss found out >> only got 2 hr of sleep and been sitting on site 4 hrs early just in case i did fall asleep. After our 9am break my reproductive picked up drastically. By end of day i was only 1 floor short of all other installers. I planned to kill my body today and avoid a post at these hrs. Well it worked half way. I got home and passed out on recliner within mins and was woke up by dogs seeing me withing what seems like mins but was close to a hr. So ive been awake since 5 and its looking to be another long night. I forgot what work was. For so long it was just a motion i went threw everyday knowing my habit was the main concern. My body was beat before ever working and i def feel it now. Im sure as i get in swing of sober living it will get better. As for my boss he is a great person. Today at break we talked about whos who at company and he agreed to keep some others from past off this project to keep me from a trigger which is above most others in my eyes. Hes being paid to get a highrise done and limiting employees to help me and keep my head straight. I wish >> talked to him before now and maybe just maybe >> be a yr or 2 clean at this point. I hardly doubt it bc i mentally wasnt done but who knows.

    Side note
    im needing some help figuring out why im having bouts with being paranoid. I understand my constant anxiety issue but over last 3 days i go past that randomly throughtout day and go on offensive thinking the old fight to get by mentally i had as a kid. They come out of nowhere last from half hr up to a hr and go back to common anxiety just as fast. Thank you and for the help and encouragement as its gone a long way with me over last 9 days. So goodnight everyone and im looking forward to my day 10 to start i guess being awake again

  26. #26
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Wellcome all night dwellers to the morning of my last day 10

  27. #27
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Glad your first day back to work went well. I remember the early recovery nights well. While it wasn't much fun, it helped to just trust the process and know sleep would return and it did. I did exactly what you are doing it seems. I accepted it and tried to stay occupied here or with old reruns on TV. Anything to pass the hours I found it kind of incredible that I was able to function on so little sleep but I did and so do you. It will begin to get better soon.

    The paranoia. I had some of that too. Felt like people were watching and judging me. I'm not talking about people who knew me either. It drove me nuts for a couple of weeks but then went away. All the feelings you are having are just resurfacing because you aren't numbing them anymore. To make this recovery stick, try to analyze when they happen and think about what may be causing it. Being aware is a gift and a curse right now. Embrace it and use it in your favor.

    Hope you have a great Day 10. The last Day 10!!!

    Peace,

    Cat

  28. #28
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    Good morning to everyone. My day ten was great. I was laughing had energy ate 3 full meals and managed to sleep 4 hrs instead of the 1 or 2. My boss said he finally sees i really want to be clean. Today i was me as he new b4 and when i heard that i almost cried on spot in front of a hundred plus trademen. Work drains me so i seem to pass out shortly after getti g home which means im up all night full of energy. During the day i called a old work contact to pick up some side work. I want my bank account to grow faster then the pockets of people i delt with for past decade. Plus there all empty houses so im currently working a second shift to make it happen rather then wasting my nights on chair. I dont no how long this will last but im making the best of it from here on out. Hope everyone has a great weekend

  29. #29
    tilesetter67 is offline Junior Member
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    May 2015
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    Ive made it to the end of my day 14. Ive made some great progress since my last post. Im back to eating 3 heathly meals each day along w not so great snacks. But why should kids get all my holloween candy anyways. Ive got close to 6 hrs sleep the last 2 nights and been imodium free for 4 days now. My energy is hit or miss each day and my anxiety has faded drastically however i still have paranoid bouts. Work is great and even though i hurt really bad each day im happy to feel things again including the pain. Ive opened my heart again to loved ones shut out and each day i wake up i no irs gonna be brighter the my last. I should have my first check friday and really dont no what to think having a full 1600 for week and nothing to blow it on. Im thinking of a nice new rock for wife to thank her and say sorry for all the bull>>>> ive put her through. I figure she deserves something nice after my first 3 or 4 checks. I agreed today to random drug tests w my boss today. Nothing to do w work under company just to have one mors reason to stay on right track. Hope everyone has a good night

  30. #30
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    You are doing wonderfully. Another success story in the making. Bathe in it and enjoy every minute. The paranoia will subside. I had that too. I couldn't make myself go into a pharmacy no matter where it was. I was positive that I was being watched there to see what I was buying. Yikes what we do to ourselves and thank goodness we are resilient enough to heal if we're willing to give it some time.

    Congrats. Such good news.

    Peace,

    Cat

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