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Girlfriend uses Oxycodone
  1. #1
    SkippyMono is offline New Member
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    Default Girlfriend uses Oxycodone

    My girlfriend called me one day, and told me she had to tell me something that would surprise me and never to tell anyone else. She said she had used percs from time to time. I said ok. I asked for small details, she said it started when she went off of sleep meds this past summer 6 months ago. She would sue them to help sleep. She said she was not addicted, but wanted to stop and planned to. She said she had never told anyone else except the person she bought from. She said she only takes them from time to time and never often enough to get addicted. She says she is in control. I sort of do believe her as we have the most honest open relationship. We have been close friends for 9 years and have been together for four going on five months. She suffers from depression, which makes the relationship hard at times, but she is worth it to me. She works in the mental health field, and is very smart, and has her masters. We are both 25 years old. And we live together now, and have since October of 2014.

    I checked in with her a week or two later, she said she had asked to buy some but the price was too high. So she didn't. Then I checked in a month later, and she said she had purchased three, and only took two a few days earlier. I said she has to stop, and not take them. She said she likes having the pills though, she likes to know it is there, I dislike that comment, but ok. I said she should get rid of it, but she will do whatever she wants. I can not control her.

    So then the other night, I dropped her and a friend off at a bar. She left her purse in my car. I was with another friend. My other friend use to have a perc problem and >>>>>> problem. I went to get a key she had on her car keys out of her purse, and my buddy saw a bag of 8 blue pills in her purse. He knew what they were, and voiced his concern. I met with him the following morning, to discuss my girlfriend and for my friend to enlighten me about the drug as i am "innocent" when it comes to stuff like this. He informed me that the pills were 30 mg and are strong. He said anyone taking these if they don't have a problem yet will, and I am in a bad situation entering a serious relationship with a close friend of mine who is dancing with the devil.

    I trust this friend to. He had a rough life, but is straight now, and is one of the most honest people one would meet. I told him about what my girlfriend said, and he said it is hard to believe she is in control, but even if she is, then why continue the drug? My girlfriends answer is I don't know, it helps when she has a headache / pains / can't sleep. My friend said anyone with 30 mg has already built up a tolerance. My girlfriend said she has no tolerance and only takes 10 mg after splitting the pills.

    I approached my girlfriend after talking to my friend. She disliked how even though my friend saw her pills, that I continued to have a conversation about her in private with my friend. I said it was out of concern, and yes, I was crying a little, primarily because I am scared and worried about her. She didn't like the fact that I was making a big deal out of it since she strongly believes she is in control of it. She admits it is a serious problem and something not to be taken lightly, but she says she has it under control and dislikes the topic. Talking about it annoys her and makes her in a bad mood. She said the 8 pills she bought in bulk a long time ago, and they had been there for a while. She says she goes days, weeks, and at times months, without taking any. She has no withdrawal symptoms. And she says she is aware of the addiction, problems, and everything else. She says she knows she is not immune to the addiction, but she is strong willed and knowledgeable about it and she feels capable of using the drug the way she is now without getting addicted. She said she will probably stop though soon. However I thought that si what she said when we first talked about it when she brought it up to me 2 months ago. At this point, the conversation is very one sided and I am now just working on trying to get her to not shut down and stop talking rather than trying to confront her or simply get information out about the pills.

    Once things calm down, I have gotten better at getting her back into a good mood. But then I start to recap the conversation in my head, and things don't always add up. I do trust her, but i fear she is lying. Maybe not only to me, but herself.

    I had a suspicion where she kept the pills in the bathroom, and I was right, she was gone and I saw yet another bag with four pills in it. It was in a little make up pouch. I put them back, and didn't say anything. Now either she took four of the eight pills, or she has yet four more stashed here. That was last night. This morning, I checked, and the pouch was gone. She probably took it to work. I was going to check to see if she took any. I am trying to figure out how much and how often she is taking them as she wont tell me that nor would I believe her 100%.

    Her friend has a perc problem that has become a >>>>>> problem, and this crushes my girlfriend. But my friend who talked to me said being around others with the problem is probably going to make it worse.

    What should I do, even just typing this it makes me realize how bad the situation sounds. But I really love this girl, she means everything to me, and every time I am with her, she is capable of making me not worry as much about the problem. I believe her. But as soon as she leaves, everything my friend told me (it is a serious problem or at least will be, it is only a matter of time) starts replaying in my head. She doesn't want me to tell other about this problem or worry at all. She said she is not other people and is capable of handling herself. She says she does not have a problem, and she doesn't know how else to tell me that. The fact that the topic can not be talked about though scares me. I have told her that. I said if she really didn't have a problem, then why try to avoid the topic. Her answer was because it is a drug she is abusing and of course it is a touchy subject that will make her agitated. Then why keep doing it? She said I don't know.

    She told em to not worry, and just check in every so often with her. But I don't know whether or not I believe her. I fear she may even be lying to herself.

    What should I do? I feel stuck and lost. I don't just want to wait it out and let things get worse. Is it really possible for someone to take 10mg every so often and not get addicted? I read stories of people getting addicted to 5 mg. The pill I saw was 'blue A 215'. I feel horrible snooping in her stuff to try and see how many pills she has, but it feels like she is only half open about this topic with me. And whenever I try to talk to her about it, she gets aggravated, rude, angry, or if we talk about it too long she will shut down and not talk.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-08-2014 at 10:08 AM.

  2. #2
    SkippyMono is offline New Member
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    After thinking about it for a while, I have come up with a few concrete questions:

    -I trust my girlfriend, but should I trust her about what she is telling me? There is no reason to believe she is addicted right now. Except for I saw some pills and she told me she takes them every so often.
    -I know it is stupid to be doing what she is doing (self medicating with the drug) but might I be blowing this out of proportion? She claims she has it under control, she is in control, and she makes me feel like I am overreacting when we talk about it. Am I? Or am I underestimating the severity of the situation?
    -Is it possible for someone to take 10mg every so often and not get addicted?

    I want to address this now because I love this girl, and i know that there is a high chance I could spend my life with her. The only things are this and the depression that would change that from my point of view.

  3. #3
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    You say you trust your Girlfriend and I believe you may, BUT, do you trust the drug? I bet you answered without hesitation, NO!

    Your Girlfriend on the drug is the drug. Nothing against your Girlfriend

    There are so many people on here that will provide excellent advice with much more experience than me. All I can say at this point is concentrate on yourself by educating yourself on the drug, the addiction and how you can help, if thats possible? There are many professionally supported sites associated with medical and scientific backing and also attached to major Universities and Medical facilities.

    I say if thats possible because the addicted must first make the solid commitment and decision to quit before anyone can really help. In my opinion no one can manage this drug, it manages them and they don't even know it. I can almost guarantee this will get really bad sooner than later. Her telling you could be her crying out for help, maybe that was the first step?

    I'm sure more replies will come.

    Sorry this is happening to you.
    E.

  4. #4
    SkippyMono is offline New Member
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    Efil Pleh, what you said is what I think. I trust my girlfriend 100%, but I trust the drug 0%. But it is hard when she doesn't want to talk about it at all and is saying that she has it under control yet everyone else and everything I read says no one can control the drug. It seemed like she was crying out for help, actually, she admitted she was scared because she felt a tight chest as a withdrawal when she didn't take them one day. But then she stopped for a month she said. But then she bought more apparently. I am just really confused and scared. Scared for me too, I am afraid to continue into a relationship if everyone is saying it is going to get worse. Yet if I express this to her, she tells me that it will not get worse and that she has it under control. And I trust her, but I don't trust the drug, like you said. She might actually have it under control, for now. I am afraid now and don't know how to proceed. I feel guilty snooping to see how bad it really is, I feel guilty ignoring it since it may be a problem for the girl I love, I feel guilty talking to a friend and going on this forum hiding from her to learn more, and I feel guilty talking to her face to face about it because she gets so upset and angry.

  5. #5
    SkippyMono is offline New Member
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    Because she did bring this up to me, is there some sort of responsibility on me now to do something?

  6. #6
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Sounds like she is in semi-denial

    There may be a percent of her that knows whats happening but the opiate is to strong, its larger than her. The drug will make people lie, steal and cheat and much worse and it holds no boundaries, Boyfriend, Parents, Law and more....

    Not to be forward and only my opinion:

    Try and stop with guilt about all you are doing, you don't have a crystal ball and you are not overflowing with answers, so do what you need to do to figure out what exactly is going on. Build the challenge, then create a solution. Creating the solution will require a professional. I imagine someone on this forum knows what direction to point someone who is struggling with a loved one about to ruin their life with opiates.

    If it was me my decision at hand would be, take charge of the relationship and situation not walk in circles and let the drug dictate the future. Do what you know you need to do, but get professional assistance and guidance first.

    Set a date for when you will hit this head on and use the time prior to prepare. There is nothing you can say or do today that will have a significant positive impact at least not to my knowledge.

    This is your Girlfriend and you love her so this is your life too. Don't react, respond with and professional assisted plan.

    E.
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  7. #7
    SkippyMono is offline New Member
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    Oh no, so I saw her briefly (she dropped something off to me during lunch break) and she was in a bad mood. I asked why, and she said because I broke a promise to her. She trusted me telling me about the drugs. And then I talked to a friend about it. I didn't even mean to let the friend see the drugs, yet he did. And yes, I continued to talk to him about her. But now my girlfriend is making me feel guilty. She said she talked to her best friend (a user of drugs and is addicted) and now she knows, and knows about the trust I broke. And now my girlfriend is focusing on that. She said she is not an addict, doesn't have a problem, and she wishes she never told me about the drugs in the first place now. This bad mood was set on all on her own thinking and doing, with no prompt by me. She was fine this morning.

    This is so hard. Maybe she is fine. I need to stop looking into things as this makes her pissed if she finds out I am trying to look into it more. She says she doesn't need me to care for her. This is so messed up. Not easy for me. I am so confused. Maybe she is fine with them.

  8. #8
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    SkippyMono,

    I just read this thread (as I posted one earlier looking for help and support myself) and couldn't help but reply.

    From my experience, which im not saying I know nearly as much as other people on here, I think I could just give you a little information and help you get through this.

    Four years ago, I was in a relationship with someone that was using perc 30s. When I finally found out (which was a complete surprise to me) I was naive, and believed it when he told me he was fine and it was just fun.. That he only did it once in a while and barely any at a time. I was completely fooled and he lied to my face on a daily basis- im not saying your girlfriend is, but drugs easily take over and make people lie to those even closest to them.

    Not only do I know this from dating him, but I started using with him because he convinced me it was fine. That quickly stopped but about a year ago I found myself trying it out again in a difference situation (him and I broke up when he ended up in rehab so you think I would learn my lesson) and i just recently stopped and it is hard. I told myself for so long it was just for fun, and I'd be able to stop like I did the first time with no issues but it wasn't as easy this time and I don't want to see that happen to her.

    I'm not sure if this is any help, but I just want to share in hopes you can take something from it.
    Efil Pleh likes this.

  9. #9
    SkippyMono is offline New Member
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    I think at this point, because in her eyes the trust is broken, I must continue and seriously be in a good mood and act as if nothing is wrong. With the exception for being aware and making myself knowledgeable on the addiction, I must tread lightly as what I don't want to do is allow her to drive a wedge in between us based on lack of trust. If she caught me snooping around and everything, that could be horrible. I think I need to simply trust her but stay aware of what is going on around me. It is a >>>>ed up situation, but I think only time can tell at this point, and if I force things, it may result in a worse outcome.

    Please continue to comment on this thread, but I am afraid of losing her if I push to much right now. She si a smart girl, and I am hoping she is telling the truth when she says she will tell me if there is an actual problem with her.

    If there is any chance of making this relationship work, and her not having any problem with the drug, she is worth it to me!

    I thank you everyone for the help, and thank any future comments or advice as well! This is a tough situation. Good prayers for everyone!

  10. #10
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    I just want to say a couple of things to look for.
    If she is addicted her life will start to not make sense
    People places and things will change..
    Subtle but still her life wil change..not for the better!

    You say your relationship is open and honest but you are not telling her how you feel and how worried you are..
    If you do and she doesn't have a problem and she loves you more than the pills, she would be happy to talk about it just to make you feel better!!

    People are as sick as their secrets ..
    If her secrets are more than just a suprize party( you know what I mean)?
    That should be a concern..
    If she is just using recreationally then she will end up addicted eventually..
    Maybe you don't want to use the word addicted ok then .. but she will become dependent..
    That is just the nature of the pills she takes..
    Opiates...

    There is an epidemic because of these pills please don't be naive to think she is to smart to have it happen to her..
    It doesn't matter who you are or how smart you are..
    Our brain chemistry is the same..
    Opiates and herion do the same thing to our brains..
    It just is a matter of time..
    Like El said above knowledge is power and with yours don't make her so unique that it couldn't happen to her..
    I bet that is what > 80% people say in the beginning...
    It won't happen to me!
    So take care of you and watch ...and let your Intution work..
    If something doesn't feel right you are probaly right..
    This has nothing to do with you ..
    She takes them cuz she wants too..
    With or without you she will take them..

    If she doesn't address it sooner rather than later then this is what you have to look forward too..
    Iluv2
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-08-2014 at 05:09 PM.

  11. #11
    Efil Pleh is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iluv2smile View Post
    I just want to say a couple of things to look for.
    If she is addicted her life will start to not make sense
    People places and things will change..
    Subtle but still her life wil change..not for the better!

    You say your relationship is open and honest but you are not telling her how you feel and how worried you are..
    If you do and she doesn't have a problem and she loves you more than the pills, she would be happy to talk about it just to make you feel better!!

    People are as sick as their secrets ..
    If her secrets are more than just a suprize party( you know what I mean)?
    That should be a concern..
    If she is just using recreationally then she will end up addicted eventually..
    Maybe you don't want to use the word addicted ok then .. but she will become dependent..
    That is just the nature of the pills she takes..
    Opiates...

    There is an epidemic because of these pills please don't be naive to think she is to smart to have it happen to her..
    It doesn't matter who you are or how smart you are..
    Our brain chemistry is the same..
    Opiates and herion do the same thing to our brains..
    It just is a matter of time..
    Like El said above knowledge is power and with yours don't make her so unique that it couldn't happen to her..
    I bet that is what > 80% people say in the beginning...
    It won't happen to me!
    So take care of you and watch ...and let your Intution work..
    If something doesn't feel right you are probaly right..
    This has nothing to do with you ..
    She takes them cuz she wants too..
    With or without you she will take them..

    If she doesn't address it sooner rather than later then this is what you have to look forward too..
    Iluv2
    I've been waiting for you to reach out with your smarts, I was getting frustrated! I would make a terrible Consular or Therapist!
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  12. #12
    SkippyMono is offline New Member
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    The sad and scary truth. Yet like I said, and tell me if I am wrong, I think I need to back off and let things play out for now. She claims she takes them not for recreational use, but as a pain killer / to fall asleep. It is so hard because she gets mad at me so much.
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  13. #13
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
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    Most people take Tylenol PM for sleep/pain..

  14. #14
    hansma03 is offline New Member
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    I wish u luck!! Throughout my own research with opiate addiction i will just say i was not a very honest person. Why r pills in baggy?? most likely bought on street (illegal). If she has legitamit health issues maybe check out pain mgt clinic. Many mds wont even prescribe oxycodone 30mg because of the pain in the ass dea (rules/guidlines). We use to call oxcycotin/oxcodone hillbilly herion. yes,very addictive. Even a person with real pain issues that is prescribed drug will develop a dependency to drug in a matter of weeks.
    Iluv2smile likes this.

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