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GOING COLD TURKEY...need support
  1. #1
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    Default GOING COLD TURKEY...need support

    Hello. I registered to hopefully get some support during my comming withdraw from oxycodone. I'm a 30 year old man and have been taking hydrocodone for 3 years, and past 2 months perkoset.

    A little history. I'm a classic case of " dependency". I've suffered from acute degenerative disk disease in lower back since I was 20 years old. I've had 3 major back operations in past 4 years, one being a fusion which I had a extremely hard time with. My fusion surgery left me in more pain than I was in before. As a result I had to start attending a pain clinic once a month. A few months ago I ruptured another disk and had a 4th back operation scheduled and was put on 10mg perkoset every 4 hours. Basicly I was taking 180 perks a month for awhile. Well for some reason I woke up one day and my pain had disappeared. I felt better than I had felt in years! Doctor cancelled my surgery and said if it fixed itself then leave it alone.

    So here's where problem arises. After taking 5 hydrocodone 10mg pills a day for 3 years, and 6 perks a day for past few months....I can't quit. I have become dependant on them because of medical necessity but now I don't need them anymore. My body needs them though just to feel normal and to live everyday life. I feel I have become a slave to my pills. I have tried to taper back but every time that awful feeling starts I get weak and take a pill to feel better. If decided to just take them as I please and when the bottle is empty....that's it. I have 3 pills left for tommorow and after that I'm out. I don't live a lifestyle where I could buy them illegally if I wanted. I wouldn't even know how to find them so that isn't a worry. My next pain clinic appt is over a week away so I will have to endure this no matter what. I think it's best that I have no choice because if given a choice I will take a pill. I a very anti drug person and if I don't need them for a medical problem, it has to stop.

    Wish me luck, I'm going to need it. I have no choice but to go without them for over a week. If I make it that far I will have it whipped for the most part anyway.

  2. #2
    AA17 is offline New Member
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    Sounds like the way I quit. 80 days clean today n counting. I took the last of my meds without counting them. I was so sick of my life revolving around them, wanting them, withdrawling from them. My last prescription I purposely ran out early. It was a full 12 days early till my next appointment. On my first day of WD's I moved my doctors appointment for a months time so I wouldn't go back on them. I believe you can do it good luck.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-21-2015 at 02:36 AM.

  3. #3
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    First of all thanks for the one reply

    It's been 27 hours since my last dose. To my suprise I am doing...ok. I've been in bed mostly all day. My doctor prescribed me a one time only bottle of valium to help keep my calm and relaxed. I spent most of the day napping and taking a valium when I got restless. I think the valium has helped a lot. Now at 7pm I'm up and moving around. Ate a good meal of fried steak and BBQ beans. Of course it's not all sunshine and lollipops. I've very slow and fatigued. My brain doesn't want to focus on anything. I've managed to relax enough to watch a little tv this afternoon with the valium help. My stomach has been grumbling a lot to the point I though I was going to have a episodes of the " squirts" but so far it's only been gas. The last time I quit I was having extreme squirts well before 24 hours.

    I have also taken some tramadol this evening which helped me feel better. My doctor said use it if I need to because it doesn't have opioids to replace what I'm detoxing from. I get no " effect" from tramadol so I don't feel it's a replacment for my oxycodone high I'm used to having to fuel me thru the day. It's just taken some edge off my uncomfortable condition. This is not something I will use again once I get thru this initial withdraw stage.

    So far the hardest part of this had been not having my morning dose of oxy to get me going for the day. Used to I was in so much pain after laying in bed all night I had to have one just to stand up straight. Now that my condition has improved greatly I don't need the medicine. But my body wants it for fuel. I spent most the day wrestling mentally about not having my " fuel". 24 hours in I seem to be at peace that I'm just not going to get my pill because I don't have any.

    To wrap my first day up....it's been rough but thanks to a trusting back surgeon who trusted me with some valium to help me make it...I've done OK. I told my surgeon in the beginning I feared pain killer addiction and 3 years later he was willing to help me stop when I asked for help. I was expecting to feel worse right now...but I feel better than I did 12 hours ago. I'm very aware that tommorow can drasticly turn much worse. However I'm optimistic I just may wake up tommorow and feel..OK...again.

    Just a little description on what pain killer dependency is like. I'm a hillbilly and put things rather odd to some people but some of ya might find this relating

    Being a pain killer addict is being a ford dually truck with a 460 big block engine. Every day you put 5 dollars of gas in the tank (a pill). When the fuel runs out the big truck starts grinding to a stop. Then you add another 5 dollars to make it a few miles. Then another 5 dollars. Then another 5'dollars. By the end of the day you have stopped and added fuel 10 times. Taking pills is the same. Each pill is just a little fuel to make it few hours until you fuel up again. The cycle goes on and never stops. Then the 5 dollars stops moving the truck at all...so you add 10 dollars per fuel up ( 2 pill) per stop. Then your adding 10 dollars at every stop 10 times a day.

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    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    How are u feeling today? Today is my third "first" day but my mindset is different. I took my last dose hours and hours ago and much less than normal. Withdrawls are coming on quicker this time. Your 27 hour post gave me hope that this time might be milder with this mindset. Hope your hanging in there. We got this!

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    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Hi marva,

    Today is my second first day, we're basically in the same place and we can do this together if you want, we can help eachother! I took my last dose at noon, and need to be serious about it this time. I hope you're hanging in there!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-23-2015 at 05:03 PM. Reason: Didn't finish!

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    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Thank you! I hate to say I'm happy about you going through this but I am glad not to be alone. I took my last dose at 12:30 and it was only 10 mgs. I usually have 100 mgs in be by now. Thought I'd start getting sick around six but started about two. Feeling more achy than normal withdrawls but no anxiety yet which was always my downfall. I'm determined. How are u feeling?

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    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Don't be sorry at all! I totally agree and feel the same way. Im happy i was reading around other posts and saw yours!

    I took mine at 12 like I said, it was 15. Im starting to feel a little bit of back pain.. It's not that I would have usually taken more then that... But I would have more to do now and typically not wait that long. Definitely not wait 6 hours lol so I'll definitely keep you updated. What has stopped me before was the stomach Pain, cold sweats and chills. Im definitely anticipating all that when I wake up tomorrow if RLS doesn't wake me tonight.. That is the other part that gets me bad. You're doing it though and so am I were on the same time line!

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    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Last time it started with the stomach and rls and went into aches chills and horrible anxiety. This time I'm starting my Ativan prior to anxiety and taking Tylenol and ibuprofen. I have a script for gabapentin but I don't react great with it. Might give it a shot with the rls. How many mg a day did I take normally? Oxy or hydro? How long have you taken them?

  9. #9
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    Hello yall! Glad to see there are some others aboard!

    Right now I am at 51 hours clean and I feel Ok again! I've had a slight lingering headache throught the day but other than that I've felt good. I had a couple bathroom trips but once I relieved myself I've had no more. I've been up and functional all day. Used no valium either. I'm actually very shocked it is going so easily. I assumed at 48 hours I was going to get very sick but I seem to feel better by the hour. I've been listening to music and actually having fun without being high on a pill!

    Guys I don't want to push this on anybody but I am a believer in God. Ive prayed that he would get me thru this with the least amount of discomfort. I believe he heard me. His word says a mustard seed of faith can move a Mountian. I think faith is a powerful thing.

    Also I'm thinking the fact I'm a medical dependency case and not a addict made a difference. The hardest part was the first 18 hours for me. The fact I couldn't take a pill nearly killed me. Something clicked in my mind that I'm not in pain and I don't need the pills anymore. It seems after 24 hours I accepted the fact I wasn't getting any pills and I calmed down. To be quite honest here I am at 50 hours and I have no craving for a pill at all! I think the fear of WD is the worst. I feared withdraws is why it was so hard to stop taking the pills.

    I'm not claiming victory...yet. But so far I'm doing very well. I'm comfortable with virtually no symptoms other than headache. I'm shocked to say the least.

    Just for record I was taking hydrocodone 10/500 6 times a day for 3 years. The past 2 months I was on 6 oxycodone 10/325 a day. The fact I went cold turkey and doing this well is simply amazing!

    Hang in there you other guys. When you realize you can feel ok without a pill high it's like breaking prison. I'm high right now from the feeling of near victory !
    Iwantoff2013 likes this.

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    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks Johnny. I just woke up. Never been through this and got sleep so the Ativan worked. I'm pretending o have the flu. I know this will get worse. 48 hours will hit in about 4 hours. I still don't fell in full withdrawal. Been praying for weeks before this and stopped myself from getting on s clinic. Actually I felt God stopped me because the doc called out sick three days in a row. I took that as a sign. I was 100 mg Oxy but two times a day 50 in the morning 50 in the evening. Hoping this time will be different. Not craving anything which is odd for me.

  11. #11
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Thanks for all that Johnny! Good for you, im happy you're hanging in there. Im going to try and tell myself the same thing you did, and accept the fact that im not getting another one and try and move on and fight through.

    Marva, im glad your hanging in there, Im feeling the same as you. I've been trying to hide my discomfort all morning from my family.. Sorry I didn't check in earlier. I was taking 30-45mg percocet a day.. For a little over a year now. Off and on, but that doesn't matter because here I am now. I slept fine last night (I drank some wine, probably a bad idea but atleast I slept) and I bought Hylands RLS pills to help with that. Im sure I'll need them tonight.. I'll let you know how it works for me if it does. I also got Imodium (recommended from randy on my post "trying this again") for the bathroom trips which im about to take now and I'll keep you updated on that too.

    I'll check in soon

  12. #12
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    I had a glass of wine early yesterday as well. Started looking at cows and I'm at 24 and hoping it is possible just to suffer here and not go further. Ignoring persistent phone calls of those that want me to just take one and go to the clinic Monday and not suffer but to beat this I must suffer

  13. #13
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Don't give in.. We're already here. And you'll just end up right back at the beginning and have to do it again.. We both know this and have been there. Luckily we got a lot of snow today which is giving me a good reason to not go anywhere and get into any trouble if all of a sudden I felt weak

  14. #14
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    I'm not leaving this bed lol. Have to be a quarter into this and hopefully will feel a little better by Monday. Holding on to those that say hour 60 it starts to ease up

  15. #15
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
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    Johnny, I'm in the exact place as you. Had to take opiates (and benzos and antidepressants) for medical reasons and never had the slightest interest in "getting high" and like you would have no clue how to get them illegally. But they do create a physical dependency. What I found is that like your truck analogy, it becomes very difficult to stop them if you need to function. But if you can take a week off and do nothing, for me, it requires no willpower because I have no real "love" of them. I too have chronic pain and have had to take them on and off over years but the only time I really was dependent and had to go "cold turkey" to get off the opiate was last summer, after I realized I no longer needed or wanted them for pain. Then about six weeks ago I again had excruciating pain (part of it is back disk like you) and I was bedridden. I had to take an opiate just to be able to sit at the Thanksgiving table with my family. So for me, they gave me the holidays with my loved ones. Now once again I'm stopping them because I detest being dependent. If I am bedridden from pain then I'll just be bedridden for a while dadgummit. Anyways this is day 2 for me, like you, last summer when I did this from 48 hours on it was nothing but improvement.

  16. #16
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    So glad to see others here involved in my thread. At first I thought no one was interested and almost didn't return until a few posts started comming in.

    Thisweekforsure....I know enzactly what you mean. For the past 3 years I couldn't even ride I'm the car for more than 10 minuets without a pain pill. I couldn't sit in certian types of chairs period. Any chair that was straight up and down was a no no for me. Always had to be laid back in certian position or I couldn't sit at all. Then walking on hard surfaces was terrible. Walking on the grocery store floor would make my back swell up and feel feverish within minuets. I became a complete slave to the pills just to live a normal life. It really sucks when you don't choose that path but must to survive. My last episode I couldn't walk and had to wheelchair myself Into the pain clinic to get my dose rises from hydrocodone to perkosets. Then for whatever reason I woke up a few weeks later and the pain was gone. My back surgeon said whatever that had been bothering me after the 3rd operation had relieved itself. Technically I have a ruptured disk above my fusion but it moved or something and stopped bothering me completely. I feel better than I have in years with no pain.

    72 hours and day 3 yall ! I'm doing great! My morning dump was a little loose but after I finished my buisiness it hasn't returned. Sorry but that's just part of recovery so might as well include it lol. My arms were a bit sore this morning from laying on my sides at night and I guess I'm not used to having no pain meds to cover up the soreness. I'm 31 next month so a little old age soreness is normal I suppose. So I did my morning buisiness and smoked a few cigarettes untill I was fully awake then drove to the old country store for some breakfast. It snowed here in Kentucky and the hills and countryside was a beautiful white. I even did a donut in my field with the pickup truck on my way out lol ( I own a little ky mini farm). It's so wonderful to feel a rush of fun that's not substance induced. I enjoyed my drive down the snow covered roads. I have a jacked up chevy truck with big tires so it loves snow and icy roads haha. Came home and fed the chickens. I hand raised them since birth so they eat from my hand during feeding time and it's a good feeling. Pretty much zero WD symptoms other than energy comes in short spurts but they spurts are comming more often. On my first day I could barely focus enough to write my 24 hour update. I think God has given me a gift of a easy WD process and I plan to take full advantage.

    I've had no urge or craving for a pill! Still not claiming victory...but I smell it !

    You all hang in there! I tell ya one thing that helps is to think about fun stuff you want to do when this is over. When I was feeling bad I sat and listened to 1950s rock and roll and thought about how cool it would be to have a cool classic chevy or Ford car to cruise in. Even if it's just a fantasy...it helps. I could see me cruising into the sonic with my 1957 chevy with a pack of cigs twisted into my white tnshirt sleeve lol. Hey it's crazy but it made me feel good ! Whatever floats your boat....start floating that boat in your imagination!

    I also have decided I will attend my next pain clinic appt and fill my script. I will not accept I have slain the dragon until I say NO face to face with a bottle of pills.

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    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Glad to hear you are feeling better Johnny. At hour 36 I felt good enough to drive to McDonald's and get the kids stuff. I'm not understanding this. The other time I tried I was in a ball of agony. Don't get me wrong, I feel like I have a horrible flu. Took Ativan naprosyn Tylenol and gabapentin. Last time I took nothing. Wonder if those meds are helping or I just have so many pills in me from Thursday and before that w/ds are not fully here. My hubby is assuring me they are full on and will only get better and the meds coupled with my willpower this time are helping. I think it is the threat of either stop or go on a maint clinic by Monday. Methadone scares the heck out of me but if I don't quit I will have to go on it or lose everything

  18. #18
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    You're doing it marva, no need to go on Monday! You'll be feeling better then, or Tuesday...it really will be for both of us.

    Im happy you feel better Johnny! You're doing it and before you know it I think you'll be writing telling us you feel way better than you had, and we'll be right behind you. Im not feeling the worst, so I'm going to keep you guys posted tonight and tomorrow

  19. #19
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    I'm going to go walk my dogs Make endorphins. Exercise has to help and I might as well get it while I still can. Maybe it will make the worst easier

  20. #20
    momthatneedscourage is offline New Member
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    I registered hopefully I am doing this right!

    Anyway I am a 34 year old Mother to three beautiful children, twins 10 years old and a 6 year old. I got shingles a few years back and of course they put me on pain pills I took as prescribed at the time didn't even think about what pain pills could do. Then due to shingles I got nerve damage and again was prescribed more pills, then when my family Dr could no longer prescribe she sent me to a pain clinic, and they upped my pain pills from loratab to percs. Perc 10/325 I could take up to 4 a day. I did that for a while but then It just wasn't enough I know i stupid. But then 3 days ago I realized i did not want to live this hell anymore dependent on an evil pill. I was robbing myself, my kids, my husband. I am a strong will person but it has been day 3 and I am in pure misery please give me some advice. I have read all the post and I am so happy for the ones that are making it. But right now I feel like I am in hell! is there a light at the end of the tunnel soon?

  21. #21
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    Hang in there. It sounds like your making great progress and at 36 hours should be at its worst. Technically it should all be down hill from here on out. I know we are all different but if your driving to mcdonalds 36 hours in then you are doing superb. Don't second gues your progress like I was doing....they are victories. If this time is a lot easier than the last then take it as a major victory and opportunity. Just think by tommorow you will be around 72 hours and it's all going to get better ! 72 hours for me was obviously a change for the better and I hope it is for you as well.

  22. #22
    momthatneedscourage is offline New Member
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    Hi JohnnyReb I am new at this I don't know if you were talking to me? I am so sorry but My mind and body are crazy right now..

  23. #23
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    Momthatneedssupport.....hell yes there is light! You have to WANT to quit and want it bad. Don't let my post actually discourage you as most people do not have an easy of a time as I did. If your 3 days in and still feeling hell then it can't last much longer. It will end. If you don't know God then call out for him....he will hear you. Ask for forgiveness and ask for relief. Have faith he hears you. He only asks that we have a mustard seed of faith to move a Mountian. Find that faith and he will help you. I know for a fact that is why my WD has went so well

  24. #24
    momthatneedscourage is offline New Member
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    You are so kind and even reading what you have to say helps. I want this so bad, but golly it's not to fun.. I have faith and I have prayed to God and I think that has what made me stronger, I know it might sound strange but I am not a way religious person but I have been praying.. I am in this for the long haul and not turning back. Its just so hard.. Thank you for your kind words.

  25. #25
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    God doesn't ask for religion sweetheart...he asks for faith. Your church attendance or whatever else people tell you that you need to do means nothing. It is between HiM and YOU only. I hate to rattle off on a sermon but many churches are filled with holy rollers who play church and praise God who don't have a molecule of faith. Religion is BS and most or it is about money and fame. What happens between you and God is a RELATIONSHIP not a religion. Keep your relationship healthy. Like any friend in the world we can grow distant from God just as we do people. keep him close.

    And for the record I'm not a pastor or a church member. I'm just a country boy who reads his bible at home. I go by what my bible says and not what any man says. I'm also a war veteran. When bullets and bombs are exploding around you....You realize you had better find God quickly.

    I have come to realize from this experience and reading about others that kicking a drug dependency is a WAR. We must fight to win! Failure isn't a option

    I'm also glad to be supporting here. My original intent was to ask for support but I find I'm doing more of the cheering on for others. I'm glad and thankful I'm in the position to encourage !

  26. #26
    JohnnyReb is offline New Member
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    Double post
    Last edited by Anonymous; 01-24-2015 at 10:12 PM.

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    momthatneedscourage is offline New Member
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    Thank you for your service!! I do agree with you on the whole religion bs money etc. And I too am just a country girl needing some support in this hell of a roller coaster of addiction. I will be on day 4 tomorrow. whoo hooo. It really does help with this support and again like you said faith and God. Thank you so much even though your a perfect stranger your words are so encouraging and supporting!!! I Just wish all this would stop I still have the chills still the anxiety still can't sleep, emotional!

  28. #28
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks Johnny. I live in a really small southern country town. I almost went the mmt way but the doc didn't show up three times and I believe it was God saving me from a worse addiction. I am going up and down. I just ran like heck up and down the road in pain and then laid down. When I got up a half hour later, I got an upswing and felt like a new person. However that only lasted twentyi minutes. Back in bed and feel awful. Wonder if this will get worse or better tomorrow. Everyone says day three is the worst but honestly today was not as bad as yesterday. Hopefully not the calm before the storm. Using cows I have not went past moderate withdrawls. Wonder if I can get out with just moderate

  29. #29
    Questions11 is offline Member
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    Morning guys..how is everyone feeling? Im feeling awesome this morning and im really hope it stays that way. I got some sleep last night definitely tossed and turned though. But woke up and was very surprised at how I felt..I know you've been doing good Johnny I hope you feel good marva! Check in soon

  30. #30
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
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    I woke up and four and it's been downhill since. The pain I was taking the meds for is worse than ever. I have an appt o feb 5 to focuses surgery and I think it may be the way to go. My stomach is cramping eyes are tearing. This is by far the worst I felt. I'm going to try to get up and do a jacuzzi soak and put an icy hot patch on my neck and take some Tylenol. Not sure I can handle another benzo cause I'm so foggy and hot and cold and feel somewhat delirious No cravings though just hate those pills worse. Not sure what I'll do for pain after surgery but I'm never doing this again. Dang opiate hell

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