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Here I go again
  1. #1
    lost89 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    8

    Default Here I go again

    So after 2 weeks clean and feeling great I gave in and I'm now back at day 1. I realized this past relapse that I tend to avoid anything and anyone that will hold me accountable. I know that I want to stay sober and I was finally starting to feel normal by 14 days. Minus the night sweats that seem never ending. For some reason I can't Seem to block and delete my connections number. That is what caused me to relapse. Every month around the 8th I always give in to them. I know it's all mental but I just don't know how to mentally pull out of it. I'm so mad that I have to go through WD's again. I need some help these next few days.

  2. #2
    LifeSaver77 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    77

    Default

    Welcome back. We've all been there.

    I think when you're really ready to quit, you'll delete those numbers from your phone.

    Until then, you're keeping yourself tethered to your source, which means you're not entirely ready to get clean.

    And, until you're truly ready to throw out all your pills, break connections with other users/dealers, you're keeping one foot in addiction.

    Delete the numbers, and acknowledge and work through the trigger that caused you to relapse. You were feeling great for weeks, and then used. What happened to make you go back? I think it's important to face that and understand it, as it's likely the root of your addiction. The dealer is just the facilitator...

    I get it - I really do. I used to tell myself I'd quit, and then I take duct tape to the pill bottle, as I wouldn't throw them out, but this was supposed to keep me from getting at them. Um, I do own scissors. lol It was just the way I gave myself a hard-hearted effort.

    Getting clean is not a casual exercise. It requires great strength of will and spirit, and a lot of commitment.

    I'm sure you'll get there, and maybe it will take a few relapses to get fed up enough to do it, but you'll get there.

  3. #3
    crazyfrog is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Posts
    251

    Default

    Lol. I know how u feel about deleting the number. I've been there..... a few times. Until i cut ties completely.... then I was free. Worst part for me, my doc was my friend and well. So it was easy pickings. 9 months later.... im so glad to be off opiates.

  4. #4
    lost89 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Posts
    8

    Default

    Thanks lifesaver and crazy frog! here I am day 1 at work where my doctor is one of connections and also my boss. I hate being here handing out prescriptions all day and trying to stay strong. I hate feeling sick every other week.

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