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How can 1 vicodin affect me after 15 months clean?
  1. #1
    Ninja_Knight is offline New Member
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    Aug 2014
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    Default How can 1 vicodin affect me after 15 months clean?

    My name is Brian I'm 29 years old and I'm an addict. I've struggled with vicodin/norco addiction for the past 7-8 years. I just liked the way they made me feel. Anyways turns out that great feeling came at a cost. Over the years my habit became a full fledged addiction to the point where I was stealing pills from my loved ones. I lost a lot due to this, my friends, my girlfriend and almost my job. Slightly over 15 months ago I decided this is it, it's time to kick the habit. I put myself through detox, went through a very rough withdrawal period but finally clean and sober was a reality for me. Fast forward to Tuesday. I managed to hurt my foot at work and a coworker offered me a vicodin in case I needed something stronger than the advil I was taking. I pocketed it and promised I would just throw it away. Needless to say I didn't, the following day my foot wasn't feeling better so I hemmed and hawed at the vicodin and broke down. I took half mid afternoon and half in the evening. The following day I felt horrible, very much like the withdrawal I experienced those 15 months ago. Thing is I'm not craving more, the exact opposite is true. I feel disgusted at myself for giving in. I'm wondering though, did that moment of weakness negate everything I worked so hard for? Did I basically reset my calendar back to day one? (Yes I've marked everyday on my calender as a reminder to myself). Or am I just feeling so guilty about what I've done that my mind is simulating these feelings as punishment?

  2. #2
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
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    Jul 2009
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    3,016

    Default

    No, it did not negate anything you did. I can't even imagine having any w/d from one pill, perhaps just how you felt about taking it and the placebo effect. Do not guilt yourself: you just experienced what happens to many of us, especially when we're newly clean: ONE WON'T MATTER. One does matter when it leads to 2, or 4 and on and on. Get back up, dust off: REMEMBER THAT DAY. If you have pain, get yourself some heavy duty motrin, do soaks in epsom salts, whatever it is. Stay strong and vigilant. There is no "cure" only vigilance, you can do this on day at a time.

    1 is too many and 1000 are never enough. Don't punish yourself, move forward and say to yourself "Thank God it was just one and thank god I didn't use today."

    Peace,

    Iloerose
    CleanIsTheKey likes this.

  3. #3
    CleanIsTheKey is offline Member
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    Jul 2014
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    The anxiety alone will make you feel like >>>> physicaly. alot of people think anxiety is just a mental thing. it actually causes me physical pain. i know this from before i ever touched an opiate. or a benzo. or any drugs. i would actually lay there in agony(which felt alot like withdrawal) and dry heave. one time for 3 days straight with no sleep. and this was before i ever touched a drug.

    No one pill won't set you back opiate wise physicaly. but if you give in and do any more than just one time, i bet you will be set back. it only takes 2 to 3 uses for me even after a long clean time.

    i like your idea of marking the calendar. it's actually genius. i'm going to jump on that band wagon.

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