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Hydrocodone Withdrawals...how did I get here??? Help would be appreciated!
  1. #1
    mommyoftwo_5303 is offline New Member
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    Default Hydrocodone Withdrawals...how did I get here??? Help would be appreciated!

    First and foremost, I want to apologize in advance because knowing myself, this is probably going to be a long read.

    I've been reading some discussions about hydrocodone withdrawals for the past few months but haven't built up the courage to write one myself until now. I am 24 years old and am addicted to Hydrocodone...wow, that's the first time I've ever wrote that. It's hard to even say it to myself in my head. Anyway, it all started about 5 years ago and has gotten worse within the last 3 years. I've decided it's time to stop but this is a lot harder than I thought it would be.

    I have lupus - I was diagnosed when I was 12 years old. My symptoms typically include joint pains, muscle aches, and at its worse flare-up, lung pain. Because of the lung pain I would occasionally get, my rheumatologist would prescribe me Hydrocodone 7.5mg/Acetaminophen (around age 18). At first, I only took it as needed when I would have the lung pain...maybe one a day for 2-3 days max every 5 months or so.

    It got worse in 2009 when my husband and I started having issues with his father. His father is an alcoholic. This is around the time that we began to TRY and help him get sober. We'd give him a place to stay in our home, help take him to appts, etc. Needless to say, this caused huge fights between my husband and I...mostly because we were both stressed out from helping an alcoholic after he keeps relapsing then trying to help him get sober over and over again. I was beyond stressed out. Oh, I forgot to mention that the lung pain I experience typically comes with STRESS. More stress = more pain = time to take some Norco's. Like I said, at first, it was just during the pain that I would take it. But as we continued to help his dad, I was stressed more often which meant I had pain more often. Eventually, I began taking it on a daily basis.

    As blind as I was, I didn't realize I truly had a problem until I got pregnant with my second child in 2013. This is where I have so much guilt. I tried to cut down and quit while I was pregnant for fear of hurting my child but I just couldn't. I had a 3-year old to take care of at the time and without the pills, I had no energy to do anything, let alone take care of my 3-year old. At the time, I didn't realize these were signs of an addiction. I guess you could say I was in denial. I took them all throughout my pregnancy. I got shingles a month before my son was born which made my body feel like it was on fire. I was in so much pain that my doctor approved me to take the Norcos...unbeknownst to him, I had been taking it the whole time. Anyway, when my son was born a month later, he went through a little bit of hydrocodone withdrawals...i kept my addiction to myself to the doctors and nurses, and they chalked his withdrawal symptoms up to the pain I was having with the shingles and the norco I took at the time. I work in Foster Care and see how many children get taken away from parents in the same situation. How lucky I was to not have my children taken from me at that time...the normal "me" would NEVER do that to my children. I look back and hate myself for what I have done...that was in 2013.

    After my son was born, I continued taking the norcos. It was to the point that if I didn't take it, I had no energy. It wasn't about the high anymore. I just couldn't be as good of a wife or mom because I was afraid of going through withdrawals and how bad it would be. Without it, I wouldn't have the energy to keep the house clean, run errands, work, take care of the children, etc. So I kept taking it...I was taking about 4 pills a day up until January 2014 when the 4 pills didn't have any effect on me anymore. I knew what to say about pain to my doctor to get an increase, along with getting more pills elsewhere. I ended up taking anywhere from 8 to 12 pills a day...I look at myself and wonder how I did that???

    It's time for me to QUIT. I want to be ME again. I want my life back and I want to be a better mother and wife. A week ago, I started a QUICK taper...from approx 10 pills a day, I cut down to 4 pills a day, to 2 pills a day. I now only have half a pill left and am terrified of how im going to feel tomorrow. I have Ativan to help me with the anxiety (I will NOT let myself get addicted to those and am taking it only to help me get through withdrawals). I am also taking Wellbutrin to help with the urges...does anyone know how long the withdrawals will last until I can finally feel like myself again? Any tips on making this better? Right now, I'm experiencing a huge loss of energy, jittery hands that come and go, and anxiety. The hardest part is fighting the urge.

    I guess I just need more words of encouragement than anything. I am doing this all on my own. No one in my family knows about my addiction, not even my husband. I am too embarrassed to admit how low I let myself get. I've been trying to drink energy drinks to make up for the energy I am losing during this withdrawal period but everything just pretty much sucks right now. Either way, I refuse to keep telling myself "ok, this is the last refill...or I'll quit next week". I'm done now.

    Guess I'll end it here. Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. I appreciate any help anyone can give!

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome Mommy,

    Congratulations are in order for first admitting that you have a problem and secondly for wanting to be done with this. Those of us who have gone before you totally understand what you are feeling right now, both physically and emotionally. It's damn hard!

    My guess is that with the quick taper you've done, you already in withdrawals. The good news is that the worst of it is apt to only last for around 5 days. Restless legs and inability to sleep were the two most bothersome symptoms for me and most others (at least in terms of the physical part). Search this Forum for the Thomas Recipe. It's a list of things that you can buy over the counter that many say helps with the symptoms. I was almost through my detox when I learned about it so except for the Immodium for the tummy issues, I didn't use anything else so can't speak to whether it would have helped me or not. Plenty of hot baths will definitely help with the aches and the Restless Legs. The relief from the baths won't last for long once you're out of the tub so I bought an additional heating pad so that I'd have two. I set them on low and wrapped one around each leg--HUGE HELP!!

    The Adivan will help you but I'd save them for at night to help you sleep. Post often and read, read, read. There will be others coming along to cheer you on.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  3. #3
    1DaysPay is offline Junior Member
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    Welcome,

    I too had a similar experience with finding out the hard way I was addicted/physically dependent to oxys. I broke my back many years ago and after I healed up I was taking them recreationally for a while. My girlfriend and I went down to the beach, I brought a couple for the weekend and when I ran out I started feeling very ill. I quickly put two and two together what I had gotten myself into. Sped home, popped some more and felt much better. I continued this for quite a while til I was averaging about 750-900mg per day!! Thats enough to care for about three 250 lbs cancer patients..and I was around 180lbs at the time. I knew I had to stop so I pony's up got some suboxone and at the right time induced myself, stabilized, and then tapered off properly. The process was bad, but without the suboxone it would have likely landed me into the hospital. The first 2-4 days are the worst for most people.

    The facet that you tapered down should help a bit, but I imagine you are already starting to feel the effects of the withdrawals. Your mind is playing games with you, trying to convince you to satisfy the thirst.. this will happen a lot over the next couple of months, be prepared.

    For now, we will focus on the physical aspect of the withdrawal you are already going through. You will have body aches, twitching, insomnia like no other, itchiness, restless legs syndrome, sweats (both hot and cold), diarrhea and may experience and vomiting. It is different for everyone. If I read your post correctly you were taking about 75 to 100 mg per day which is much less than a lot of others around here, including myself, have had to come off of.

    I would search for the Thomas Recipe on this site or google. There is a wealth of information and supplements and vitamins you can purchase to make these next few days much more bearable.

    5htp for mood, anxiety, and sleep
    Melatonin, valerian root, etc. - for sleep and RLS
    Walmart sells something called Restless Leg for RLS

    Staying active and keeping your mind occupied is important. Do not lay around all day. You may have no appetite but eat plenty of clean food (fruit, proteins, etc.) and make sure you drink tons of water and electrolytes. This will help flush out your system, get your natural endorphins flowing and most importantly give you the energy your body needs while it is going through such a stressful state.

    Hide the clock, it will make time stop if you keep looking at it.

    Fighting the urges can be the most difficult part of the process. One simple pill and it all goes away -- which will just land you back at day 1. You really truly have to want to do this and go through with it. Make a plan for yourself. Ask your self what would you do if you found some pills laying around? Do you think you'd be able to flush them or would you give in and take them?? Little things like this can go a long way when trying to detox.

    I am not going to lie to you and say its going to be a piece of cake, quite frankly its going to be one of the hardest things you will have to do in your life. Not only getting through the physical part, but most importantly the psychological part. Your mind will do whatever it needs to to convince you to put that stuff back into your system.

    Be determined, stay strong, focused, and remember -- every day you go without using is another day closer to living a happy, normal, sober life. You will be free from the thirsty demon inside you.

    After you are over the physical part you will have cravings. Your mind will convince you to use again. you will have mood swings, and be very emotional at times. If you find that you are experiencing this a lot, try and find an NA or AA group to have some face to face meetings at. They are very effective.

    You won't honestly be 100% yourself again for at least a few months. But each day clean is closer to that goal. There is a wealth of knowledge around these forums. Read the Need to Talk section. Knowing as much about your addiction can be the best weapon to fight it. Knowing what to expect will help you prepare and get the necessary items to fight the symptoms.

    I have done it two or three times in my life, and I really went all out this last time to ensure it will be my last. If you have any questions, concerns, or just need some motivational words to help you through a rough moment turing this process feel free to reach out. I find that helping others further helps me cope with my addiction issues and before I know it there are more and more clean days behind me.

    I wish you all the best in a healthy, quick, empowering, and successful detox.

    All the best

    1dayspay

    ps thanks for reading if you've gotten this far
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-02-2015 at 08:21 PM.
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  4. #4
    davepeerson is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Mommy5303...I just want to say welcome to the Winning side!! Lots Of Good people here....will help walk You through these first few Days....which will not be Fun!! You have to REALLY WANT this...and You sound like You Do!! I'm not sure How Your going to manage to hide this from the Hubby though....Yeah...You can just say your sick for the first few Days....But...getting Energy Back....well....That Takes Time and Patience.....I Don't know How You'll explain Your Lack Of Motivation to Him..??? My Opinion....Be Honest....Be Open....It will help make this Journey Your about to embark on much easier.....Good Luck 5303!! Stay Strong Just For Today!!

  5. #5
    Melina123 is offline Senior Member
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    Hello and welcome! I feel u. I started opiates after an ankle reconstruction. I went from lortab 5 mg to any opiate i could beg borrow or steal. I lost my career and my dignity. Got to the point I wound up suicidal and detoxed in a locked psych ward. Im clean 89 days today. I feel better than I ever have. U can do it too! The detox isnt fun but do able. U have some good tips here. U can do it! Take care and remember it didnt take over ur life in a week so it doesnt go away in a week. Congrats on taking this HUGE step. I have faith in u! Everytime u can, come post how u feel. Post all u want. It helps alot mentally. Also, go to the Needs to talk forum page. Look for a thread titled ASK RUTH AKA ARTIST. Read any page. It helped me so much and it will help u. My thread is there - Mels Story. The first entry is a look into what.u.can expect if u keep taking pills. Its true, every word. U can make another thread on that page if u wish. Theres more traffic there.
    Keep up the.good work!!

  6. #6
    mommyoftwo_5303 is offline New Member
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    Thanks everyone for all your support!!! These WD symptoms suck. I'm on day 2 today. I woke up feeling great. It's my sons 2nd birthday so my husband and I took him to the zoo. We returned home around 3pm and things just got worse for me. I just started feeling overwhelmingly exhausted, had major restless leg syndrome (seems to be in my hands also because they will not stop shaking) and just extreme anxiousness and felt the need to take more pills. It didn't help that I found one pill while cleaning my room today. The only reason why I DID NOT take it is because these WD suck so much, I don't wanna have to start back at day 1! But boy was it tempting...

    Since I was so anxious, I took an Ativan and went to bed early around 7pm. Now it's 1am and I'm up - can't go back to bed. Not sure if this is because I went to bed early or if it's the insomnia starting to kick in.

    I appreciate all of your guys responses. Im doing this all on my own with no support. I'm sure my husband would support me 100% if I was honest with him but I just have too much pride and can't let him see how I let myself get this low. Not only that, but he's already dealing with his dad's alcohol addiction...I'm not really trying to add more stress on him with his wife's pill addiction. Maybe one day I can get up the courage to tell him but right now, I can't. When I feel like I really want to take another pill, I've been coming on these boards and just reading everyone's experiences and encouraging words helps more than you know.

    Hoping day 3 will be much nicer to me tomorrow...

  7. #7
    Draxton88 is offline New Member
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    Hello everyone. I've started taking hydros 10s 3 years ago I started with one a day to deal with my hurt back. Then I notice I was still taking them even since my back stopped hurting I was up to 4 to 5 a day .I work long stress full hours at my job didn't have time for withdrawals .will last Sunday I took the plunge I quit cold .Sunday was hell anxiety, restlessness, and the physical Pain was unbearable. That night it seems I could only sleep 20 min with anxiety and stress the about a hour get another 20 min sleep Monday morning forcing myself to work and made my first day sober at work for 3 years.But Monday night was so unbearable I couldn't take no more of the stress anxiety so instead of taking a hydro I remembered my wife takes lorazapam so out of desperation I took 2 of her lorazapam and boom everything was good I felt great. I slept that whole night woke up refressed I felt new again until around 3pm I started crashing but still felt better. then wed's came all was good Thursday even better Friday was off and on. It's been 7 days I still have moments of anxiety and stress but just for a moment and I always keep a lorazapam around just incase. but I really don't think I could of made it without taking lorazapam last Monday .I hope this helps you and I know what your all going through.. my prayers are with you and just hang in there every day will get better. And I don't think taking a anxiety pill like lorazapam is cheeting for it sure helped me

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