Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 35
Like Tree10Likes
I am fricking doing it again.
  1. #1
    nobby02 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    225

    Default I am fricking doing it again.

    I need someone here to chop my hands off. This time I have celebrex and meloxicam to stop the pain. God Help Me as I am going into the crying phase.

  2. #2
    Robert_325 is offline Diamond Elite
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    12,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nobby02 View Post
    I need someone here to chop my hands off. This time I have celebrex and meloxicam to stop the pain. God Help Me as I am going into the crying phase.

    Both medications are NSAIDS, non addictive. What are you freaking out about? God bless.
    Mirabellesmom and surfdog like this.

  3. #3
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    686

    Default

    Neither of these are addictive lighten up Dog
    Robert_325 likes this.

  4. #4
    Robert_325 is offline Diamond Elite
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    12,748

    Default

    Hey Dog... how's it going? Haven't talked in a while. Hope all is well my friend! God bless.
    surfdog likes this.

  5. #5
    nobby02 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    225

    Default

    No it's the vicodin, I am a screw up. What always ALWAYS gets me is the pain. So I was withdrawing and had celebrex and meloxicam on hand.

  6. #6
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,016

    Default

    OH. Wasn't clear what was up. How are you now? Day you're in? Been there myself.

    Peace,

    Iloerose

  7. #7
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    686

    Default

    Hey Robert good to see you back, things going pretty well here how about you Dog

  8. #8
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    686

    Default

    Nobbt didn't know it was the vics can you give us some more info Dog

  9. #9
    Robert_325 is offline Diamond Elite
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    12,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by surfdog View Post
    Hey Robert good to see you back, things going pretty well here how about you Dog


    Have had some personal challenges the last few months but nothing I won't be able to endure. I've always been a survivor. Just wanted to say hello. God bless.

  10. #10
    EL1980 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    6

    Default

    Hi robert,

    Is there a way you can message me directly? I'm new to this site and have seen your posts re sub induction, etc. I'm about to undertake this and have a few questions for you. Would really appreciate your help.

    Thanks man

  11. #11
    Robert_325 is offline Diamond Elite
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    12,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EL1980 View Post
    Hi robert,

    Is there a way you can message me directly? I'm new to this site and have seen your posts re sub induction, etc. I'm about to undertake this and have a few questions for you. Would really appreciate your help.

    Thanks man

    Just post it right here. That is how this forum helps people. You're totally anonymous and will get lots of support. Can't keep up with everyone if we did this in private messages. With almost 17000 posts I would not even be able to count the number of people that adds up to and I surely couldn't remember everything I talk to people about. We use these posts to keep abreast of what is happening with you. God bless.
    sdonna68 likes this.

  12. #12
    surfdog is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Macon GA/Montana/Wyoming
    Posts
    686

    Default

    Robert You will make it fine, hang tight my friend. My son got off the subs tapering and is getting married this weekend good to hear from you Dog

  13. #13
    EL1980 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    6

    Default

    Sounds good.
    Wanted to ask your advice because I read a post of yours on Sub treatment a while back and saved it and I'm ready to do this. Quick background: been recreationally taking some form of prescription opiate for the past few years. OVer the past year, it's gotten really serious - haven't gone a day without over the past year or so. Kept it to 45-60 mgs a day for a while but recently it's soared and I've been at anywhere from 150mg - 240mg for the past 6 weeks or so (30mg roxis). I'm employed and have a serious girlfriend and my addiction is not known by either my job or girl - only a close friend who is in the same boat as me knows. I need to be discrete and can't really take time off of work and had myself fooled that i'd be able to ween myself down but realize I don't have the will power. I'm ready to be done with this and went to a doc and got prescribed suboxone film. My goal is to not replace oxy with subs, but rather to use it as a means to get off these drugs once and for all. My doctor is not a shrink, so I've made an appointment to begin therapy sessions with some dr's that my sub doctor recommended. I'm going to begin home induction this weekend. My doc wanted to start me at 4mg and take another 2mg every two hours until i stabilize but I told him i want to take the least amount possible and then taper down. He agreed, although said he has never had a patient want to take that approach. I've studied your method - start small and go up by increments of .25-.5 mgs until stable and then taper 25% every 4-5 days, etc. You mention after stabilizing on the first day of induction to split the dose in half. So let's say I stabilize at 4mg... would I then take 2mg 24 hours after stabilizing at 4mg, and then the other 2mg 12 hours after that? And continue this cycle, tapering down as you've outlined? Is there a preferred time of day to take the subs? I want to make sure I do this right as you mention inducting properly is key to success. I really don't want to be dependent on subs longterm and then have to deal with the nightmare of WDing from them so I'm hoping that if I do it correctly, I'll be able to taper down and off subs in 8-10 weeks. Really appreciate your help and support. I want to do this really badly and am scared to death but cannot continue to slowly kill myself with these drugs. Thanks man.

  14. #14
    Robert_325 is offline Diamond Elite
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    12,748

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EL1980 View Post
    Sounds good.
    Wanted to ask your advice because I read a post of yours on Sub treatment a while back and saved it and I'm ready to do this. Quick background: been recreationally taking some form of prescription opiate for the past few years. OVer the past year, it's gotten really serious - haven't gone a day without over the past year or so. Kept it to 45-60 mgs a day for a while but recently it's soared and I've been at anywhere from 150mg - 240mg for the past 6 weeks or so (30mg roxis). I'm employed and have a serious girlfriend and my addiction is not known by either my job or girl - only a close friend who is in the same boat as me knows. I need to be discrete and can't really take time off of work and had myself fooled that i'd be able to ween myself down but realize I don't have the will power. I'm ready to be done with this and went to a doc and got prescribed suboxone film. My goal is to not replace oxy with subs, but rather to use it as a means to get off these drugs once and for all. My doctor is not a shrink, so I've made an appointment to begin therapy sessions with some dr's that my sub doctor recommended. I'm going to begin home induction this weekend. My doc wanted to start me at 4mg and take another 2mg every two hours until i stabilize but I told him i want to take the least amount possible and then taper down. He agreed, although said he has never had a patient want to take that approach. I've studied your method - start small and go up by increments of .25-.5 mgs until stable and then taper 25% every 4-5 days, etc. You mention after stabilizing on the first day of induction to split the dose in half. So let's say I stabilize at 4mg... would I then take 2mg 24 hours after stabilizing at 4mg, and then the other 2mg 12 hours after that? And continue this cycle, tapering down as you've outlined? Is there a preferred time of day to take the subs? I want to make sure I do this right as you mention inducting properly is key to success. I really don't want to be dependent on subs longterm and then have to deal with the nightmare of WDing from them so I'm hoping that if I do it correctly, I'll be able to taper down and off subs in 8-10 weeks. Really appreciate your help and support. I want to do this really badly and am scared to death but cannot continue to slowly kill myself with these drugs. Thanks man.


    If you stabilize at 4mg you should take 2mg the next morning, take another 2mg late afternoon and see how you feel that night. An induction lasts four good days if you read the sub therapy sticky post. During that time you may need to adjust that dose a little. Doing the process correctly is what is most important. You aren't at a high dose so if you require a little extra, as in 1mg or even 2mg, that will be okay. On the last day of your induction you drop the dose by 25% anyway, then stay there for close to a week depending on how you're doing. Go back and read that induction section of the sticky post. God bless.

  15. #15
    EL1980 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    6

    Default

    Thanks Robert- really appreciate it.

    So during induction, there is no set time limit to adhere to between doses? Just morning and late afternoon? Is that because your body needs to adjust? After the first 4-5 days, do I continue on that schedule (morning and late afternoon), maintaining the split dose? Or would I spread then out more (like 12 hours apart)? Or move to single dose every 24 hours?

    I'm using your sticky post as my guide- just want to make sure I have all the timing down and create some kind of routine.

    Thanks man!

    Ps - this may be a dumb question so forgive me but I have a wedding the night before I plan on starting induction - will alcohol in my system affect induction? I'm guessing being hungover will make it more difficult to determine when is the right time to begin induction...

  16. #16
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,603

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nobby02 View Post
    No it's the vicodin, I am a screw up. What always ALWAYS gets me is the pain. So I was withdrawing and had celebrex and meloxicam on hand.


    Nobby,

    I've held back from responding, hoping someone else would come along to post - so that you might "hear" the message. Given our past history, I suspect that any message from me is doomed to go in one ear and out the other. But I suspect others don't want to speak up and risk the backlash from you.

    This is a pattern you've been on for a long, long time - and until you take some concrete steps to change it, you'll be stuck there til the bitter end. You go from one narcotics prescription to the next, one diagnosis to the next, probably one doctor to the next... and end up here. Here, meaning out of pills and experiencing withdrawal. Until something changes, nothing changes.

    As long as you continue to lie to yourself about your drug addiction, you will not be able to overcome it. We can not change what we refuse to see. You are an addict, plain and simple. You can not take narcotics like other people do. You can not "control" your narcotic use for "pain only" - because you are an addict. So whether or not a doctor gives you the prescription does not matter. That just makes it feel more justified to you, but it doesn't change a thing.

    But you need to recognize that you are an addict, no different from the street bum huddled beneath a bridge, shooting >>>>>>. All of us are. Just as that "bum" has no control over his >>>>>> use, even if he wants to, you can not control your narcotic use. So whether or not the original use was for "pain" does not matter any longer. The issue now is addiction.

    For drug addicts, pain is not a justification for more narcotics! Our body does not discriminate between 'legitimate' prescriptions for pain and 'illegitimate' pills. We HAVE to find new ways of dealing with pain, if we are to overcome this disease. That is one of the essential steps we MUST make, if we are to get out of the cycle of drug abuse and withdrawal. There's no easy way to do this. No short-cuts. No excuses.

    Time - after time - after time - you've gone back to using pills after getting past the withdrawal. You then "justify" the "need" for the prescription, and "gobble them down." (YOUR words, Nobby.) No one can help you until you make some effort to help yourself. As long as you keep any avenue open to getting another prescription, you're going to stay in this cycle. As long as you lie to yourself that it is "ok" for "legitimate pain" - you are doomed. You need to take the blinders off. You need to drop the justifications and excuses and see past your own denial.

    Only then can we help you with any long-term solutions. No one can do this for you. Ok, your turn - you can either "shoot the messenger" or you can do some serious soul-searching. Either way, I will be clean and sober; this isn't about me. This is about YOUR life, Nobby - and how you choose to live it.

    God bless,
    Ruth
    crazyclearwater and l0st s0u1 like this.

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    66

    Default

    ive had this kind of responce b4 thrown at me, so i completly understand,love the post so dam truthfull,

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    66

    Default

    ART, u r so to the point and its a post that i can read n it helps me, i see the addict in me, but ive stoped all pill poppin use almost a week now, so if i do not take anything except my mmt , which is bad enough i know,, but leave me alone on that 4 now please, im tryn 2 clean up the free drugs i got, so im not taking anything anymore, if i go a month i think its a step in my recovery , the 1st step 4 now (a concrete step), then soon i can get off the devils juce,,wat do u think??
    definitly a awesome post ART, CC

  19. #19
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,603

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by crazyclearwater View Post
    ART, u r so to the point and its a post that i can read n it helps me, i see the addict in me, but ive stoped all pill poppin use almost a week now, so if i do not take anything except my mmt , which is bad enough i know,, but leave me alone on that 4 now please, im tryn 2 clean up the free drugs i got, so im not taking anything anymore, if i go a month i think its a step in my recovery , the 1st step 4 now (a concrete step), then soon i can get off the devils juce,,wat do u think??
    definitly a awesome post ART, CC

    Crazyclearwater,

    I guess what you're asking for is some feedback from me on how you're doing? So I looked through your history of posts before I responded, just to better understand your current situation. I wonder how "awesome" you'll think this post is, when my honesty is directed at you.

    You said you've taken norco and xanax within the past week - and you smoke pot regularly, with no plans to give that up. On top of that, you're on methadone (100 mg, I believe) - and have been for nearly a year.

    To be completely direct, you have not taken any step into recovery so far. Recovery is abstinance, period. Cutting back - or planning to cut back - isn't the same thing. I can't give you positive feedback on your "progress" until your actions match your intentions.

    You are still enjoying the drugs, and still seeking escape from your own genuine feelings through a pill or joint. You are locked into fixating on the immediate "high" - and not seeing the long-term at all. You are still thinking and acting like an active addict - yet fooling yourself to believe you're making any significant steps toward recovery.

    There's key shifts in thinking when a person goes from active addiction into recovery - and I simply do not see that kind of shift going on with you. Recovery does not happen on its own; we don't just ease our way into it by osmosis or wishing it to be. The only way we succeed in full recovery is to really, truly WANT it. We have to be able to see ourselves and our drug use for exactly what it is. We have to break past the denial that wants to believe that, "It's not that bad." Until we SEE it, we can't fully address it.

    You've been on MMT for nearly a year - that's unnecessary, even in the best case scenario. In your situation, it's absolutely useless, since you're continuing to use other drugs. You aren't taking methadone to help you to find complete recovery - you are taking methadone for the easy availability and legal 'high' from it. That is obvious, given the norcos, xanax and marijuana you continue to use. For some, MMT is a step in the right direction; a positive step toward recovery. But that is NOT the case for you. You are not using it properly, and it won't work. Period.

    You've mentioned a counselor - but said, " i now go n talk 2 her, tell most of the truth, if it would hurt me i wont tell her, im a smart druggie." You are clearly still protecting your ability to use. You are not seeking her help to stop.

    There you have it - I do not see that you're even headed in the right direction - yet. You have the ability at your fingertips - you have the MMT in place, so you CAN stop the narcotics, without suffering with withdrawal. You CAN stop the marijuana, but don't choose to. I do not know how much xanax you are taking, but you can certainly take the steps to slowly taper down on it, safely.

    You have a counselor in place - yet do not use her for what she is there for! As long as you are holding back some truths from her, she can not help you. Seriously, it's a waste of her time and yours. Besides, trying to fully engage in therapy while still taking such powerful drugs is going to be of very limited help to you. Therapy involves emotions - it requires you to FEEL. And if you're emotions are being altered by drugs, you can't feel genuine feelings. You are feeling drug-induced feelings, and that is NOT the same.

    The ball is in your court. You have to decide what you are going to do, because right now, you have no plan. You have to take a long, hard look at yourself and your drug use. You'd be wise to lay out ALL your cards on the table with the counselor, and gain her feedback. Then you'll have to not only get rid of any drugs you have, but stop any access to any more. Then you need to jump into a 12-step program with both feet, and heed their suggestions. Until then, you're stuck on the merry-go-round of addiction.

    God bless,
    Ruth


    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    66

    Default

    ruth , u r amazing, i love your posts n they r awesome,ok
    u can set me straight i need it, i no im for a long road when i finally start the true recovery, but i am in step 1 , ive been there for a long time,ill never stop mmt , im not ever sik now, every dam morn i used 2 feel sick. it sucked for a few years, it just never changed, cuz i didnt n couldnt, now its a lil easier since im alone, no others r using here, cuz no1s here.
    alright im gona make it , once i can get thru the weekend w/o doing anything ill b 1/2 way there!

  21. #21
    nobby02 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    225

    Default

    Yes it is a merry go round. I hate it, I will stick with my 6 a day and I hope I never have to do anything else.

  22. #22
    iloerose is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    3,016

    Default

    Nobby, Why stick with 6 vikes a day? Is there a reason why you can't stop this merry-go-round? I wish you the best.

    Iloerose

  23. #23
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,603

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nobby02 View Post
    Yes it is a merry go round. I hate it, I will stick with my 6 a day and I hope I never have to do anything else.



    Whenever a person with a history of addiction says, "I can control it this time" - I know exactly what that means. It means, "I have some drugs available to me right now - and I plan to use them. To hell with the consequences when they run out, but for now, I'm happy."

    Addiction is, at its heart, a disease of immaturity and the unwillingness to postpone short-term pleasure for long-term peace of mind. As addicts, we don't like to hear that - but it's the truth. Drug addiction blocks us from any kind of emotional growth. We remain stagnant, and our coping skills become limited to popping another pill to avoid any emotional discomfort or pain. We are terrified by the idea of trying to handle life without a pill, so we find any number of devious ways to keep the pill supply flowing - so we don't have to.

    Addiction is also the epitome of selfishness. Like it or not, that is what it is. Drug abuse is focusing solely on ourself, our pain, our hurt - without regard for how our drug use is affecting those who care about us. And without regard for whose lives we put at risk as we continue to use. If you drive a car - taking 6 vicodan a day - you are putting everyone else on the road at risk. If you are taking care of a child - taking 6 vicodan a day - you are putting that child at risk. Our thinking is altered. Our emotions are erratic. Besides which, our priorities and values are compromised. We simply are not capable of mature response to a crisis or well-planned decision-making skills.

    So, of course, you're free to continue on this merry-go-round - for as long as you can manipulate doctors to prescribe for you - but know that you are taking everyone you care about on that same nightmare of your own personal carnival. Clearly, the pleasure is worth the pain to you. I rather doubt your pleasure is worth the cost to everyone around you.
    iloerose likes this.

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  24. #24
    nobby02 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    225

    Default

    The merry go round continues because the pain gets to me. I have gone weeks, months without but in the end I fall of the wagon. If I do suceed Artist will be the first to know. Now it is getting to the point of not wanting to stop. I cannot believe I put myself in this position.

  25. #25
    nobby02 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    225

    Default

    Oh and Artist, you are getting through to me a little. That's good right

  26. #26
    nobby02 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    225

    Default

    I even looked up NA meetings here though I don't drive.

  27. #27
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,603

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nobby02 View Post
    Oh and Artist, you are getting through to me a little. That's good right


    Nobby,

    I take it as a good sign - it brought a tear to my eye, believe it or not. I hope you are able to check out some meetings. Please continue to post.

    I really am pulling for you - and have this crazy idea that one day you and I can laugh about our history. If I can help, just ask. I haven't given up on you, and hope you don't give up on yourself, either.

    God bless,
    Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  28. #28
    nobby02 is offline Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    225

    Default

    I believe you Ruth, I do. I mean your tag states it all. I may disagree with some things you say but hey yanno, it IS getting through to me.

  29. #29
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,603

    Default



    Dear Nobby,

    Just checking in, to see what's going on with you. Good, bad, or somewhere in-between, I hope you'll post an update soon!

    God bless,
    Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

  30. #30
    ARTIST658 is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,603

    Default

    Nobby, I posted here a few days ago, but it's disappeared, along with your last post. I have no idea why. Anyway, I just wanted you to know I read it, and think your last idea was an excellent one. I couldn't succeed at staying clean until I did a long-term rehab. For me, I went in asking for their 2-week program (with a fix-me-quick please attitude) - and ended up staying 6 months. They saw through my BS and realized I needed some serious help. Hope you'll be back to post. Ruth

    You will know the truth - and only the truth can set you free.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22