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I finally did it...after 7 years!
  1. #1
    offandclean is offline New Member
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    Default I finally did it...after 7 years!

    Hello, new member here. So a little about my use. I was prescribed Percocet 7 years ago. Eventually working my way up to 5 10/325's daily. Never obtained any illegally. However, sometimes I'd take 6 a day and everyone knows what happens when we do that, we run out early! I'd spend 3 days every single month in bed sick because I'd be trying to make the few I had stretch.

    Then moving onto 9 months ago. My tolerance was building and too much pain was spiking; my conditions are Fibromyalgia and Facial Pain. So then the evil Fentanyl was prescribed. I had no idea what it was. I specifically asked the dr if the withdrawal was real bad. I remember her saying it's no different then Percocet. BS!

    Something wasn't right. The lowest dose of Fentanyl was causing me withdrawals every 2 days. So without question she increased it to change my 12.5 patch to every 2 days. Ahhhh finally no withdrawals. But then here comes my ins, nope they would not allow this...too expensive. After only 1 month my ins forced me to 25mcg every 3 days. It worked for a couple of months but then withdrawals came back every 2 days. 2 docs swore this is impossible due to the Fentanyl half life. I knew my body was metabolizing it faster for some reason. 9 months of agony on this patch.

    Finally 3 weeks ago I had enough. I had 2 prescriptions in my hand; Fentanyl and Percocet. I went home and cried my eyes out with my husband. I was tired. Tired of staring at random people, staring at my kids, wishing I could smile and be happy without opioids! Tired of withdrawals every single month and avoiding the ones I love most when I'm going through those days. TIRED! I drove back to my dr and switched out those horrible prescriptions for Clonidine and another for stomach/nausea.

    I read these forums and tried my hardest to do it at home. I successfully kicked the Percs but could not do Fentanyl. Many can and I applaud you but I am ok to admit I could not. I checked into medical detox in a rehab facility that used Suboxone. The first night was hell. You have to be off all opiates for 24 hrs before you can start it. It's a Godsend...but only short term for me. I only needed 3 doses and I was able to walk out of there after 4 days of detox. Some needed longer and that's ok. No Suboxone and no more opioids. They did allow me to leave with a mild muscle relaxer (Robaxin) for the bad muscle aches.

    I'm now 21 days clean. God my eyes are teary just typing this. If you're reading this and you're considering doing the same; getting off. Please know you can do it! And the best news of all...over the counter meds actually work. But 3 weeks later I'm still dealing with residual stuff like the pins/needles in my arms, back, and legs. Gabapentin helps with that. I still ache. But really each day gets better. I was considering asking my pain mgt dr for maybe 10 pills of norco a month for excruciating days but then I thought wouldn't that be taking too many steps back??? ☹️ I really think that's a bad idea...I have to be strong. I will be strong!

  2. #2
    grandma -bk is offline Member
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    Do not ask for even one pill....unless you wanna go back to the last nitemare...every withdrawl gets worse....cause your tolerance keeps going up...please you come so far , dont mess it up.
    Wanna_b_done and etoille like this.

  3. #3
    offandclean is offline New Member
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    Thank you grandma -bk! I think I really needed to hear that. My husband said absolutely not to that idea as well!
    Wanna_b_done likes this.

  4. #4
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
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    Gotta agree with everyone-- don't take a single one. Think of it this way: It'll never be easier than RIGHT NOW to not take more. In other words, once you take a few, the cravings will be even MORE intense than they are now, and you know that is definitely true, cause you already made it so many days out. Better to ride these urges than the other ones. Much love to you on your way for the next few months. Sunshine in the dark days. xoxo

  5. #5
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
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    How you doing? Just checking in and sending some good thoughts your way!
    5Years

  6. #6
    offandclean is offline New Member
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    Hi 5!
    Tomorrow will be 30 days...30!!!! Yesterday was the first day I felt normal without opioids. All those years having to take stuff just to feel "normal" and keep away the withdrawals. Now just living each day getting better and better. The muscle aches are getting better too. They are still there but very dull. I'm getting out of the house all the time. Cravings are gone. I think I can do this!!!

    How are you doing? I hope you're doing well.

    Thanks for checking in on me. I really appreciate it. It's really good coming here for support from folks that truly understand what I'm going through.

  7. #7
    Helpmequit611 is offline New Member
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    Hi offandclean your story really stroke a cord with me I leftva rehab facility for the first time about 2 months ago.. I made it to 35 days clean and my fiancé left me and I just wasn't strong enough to fight through it So after theb35 days clean, this relapse is now around 3 weeks long I started just doing one 30 mg blue every other day .. and the last 2 weeks have been doing 3-5 a day . I really really want to stop, I am just terrified the withdraws will be a stupid bad as when I was in rehab shabby 2 months ago .. even though that time I was coming off of 10-15 30mg blues a day .. what do you think I should do? I have 5 8mg subs, and was planning to do a very short term taper, like 4/5 days, using minimal amounts of subs, maybe starting at 8mg then 6 then 4 then 2 then 1 mg then stop altogether .. donyou think this will work? I would go back to rehab in a second but it would crush my parents and siblings and fiancé who all this I am at like 60+ days clean and so proud .. I really want to try to do this on my own .. thanks for your post, and I hope someone can offer me some insight..

  8. #8
    offandclean is offline New Member
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    Helpmequit...In detox that's how they had it...3-5 days of Sub taper. Or if you have a medical detox in your area that does Subs, you can do it under medical supervision since they have other meds to make the process more comfortable and check your vitals around the clock. They are 3-7 days normally.

    Good luck. Relapse happens but you're ready to get your life back. Have faith in yourself. You can do this!!!

  9. #9
    Brian20 is offline New Member
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    Great to hear offandclean. I love hearing stuff like this. Im at 4 days so far, taking subs and feeling alright. I only have one person I can talk to about this. No one, and I mean no one, knows what Im going through. I just turned 30 and feel like Im starting to turn a corner. Im glad you made it to 30 days and are feeling normal. That seems to be what people say...get a month clean and youll start to actually feel like yourself again.

  10. #10
    offandclean is offline New Member
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    Brian20...That's what's so great about coming here. We have each other and with each post, we are helping many more who read but don't join. These forums really helped before I jumped. It gave me the strength to just do it!
    Today is day 41 for me. My husband says I'm different. He says a good different. That makes me happy.

    I hope you're doing well and the days are getting better. It may be repeated over and over around here but it really is true....with each passing day it gets better and better!
    UncleLeo likes this.

  11. #11
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
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    Red face

    Just checking in. Happy Halloween!? Did we all go as "someone normal" for once?

  12. #12
    Dusty_1984 is offline Junior Member
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    I love coming here and reading stuff like your thread. I've been a lurker for a long while but always get encouragement from the people here who can push through irregardless of circumstances. You go, fight, and get back up if you fall.

    I'm only just starting my journey and hope that I can follow your example.

  13. #13
    FiveYearsFromNow is offline Junior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dusty_1984 View Post
    I love coming here and reading stuff like your thread. I've been a lurker for a long while but always get encouragement from the people here who can push through irregardless of circumstances. You go, fight, and get back up if you fall.

    I'm only just starting my journey and hope that I can follow your example.
    You got this, Dusty! We all had to start at one time or another, and some of us (me!) start over and over, but it's a process and if you want to get better, we're all rooting for you!

    5Years

  14. #14
    offandclean is offline New Member
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    Hi Dusty and Five!

    I'm doing really good. The achy stuff is still around but very manageable. I've tapered on Gabapentin from 3200 mg to 1600 mg daily. It has gotten me through some tough days. When I have pain, I take Advil and it works! I have no cravings at all. In my case, the first couple of weeks were the hardest with cravings. If you can get past those 2-3 weeks and be active, the cravings will get less and less.

    I've patched things up with people that I hadn't talked to in years. When I have tough days, I think a lot about what I went through getting off these meds and I realize the pain is minor in comparison. I appreciate lil things that I never stopped to pay attention to.

    Keep on fighting. If you want it, you can do it. When you have temptations, think back to how life was during your first 4 days. I kept a small Fentanyl wrapper to remind me. Hey, whatever works for you!

  15. #15
    offandclean is offline New Member
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    Hello all!

    I've just hit 4 months clean. If you're reading this and considering taking the jump and you're scared of the days to come, know that it'll be worth it. How ever you get there...tapering or CT...do it! Let me tell you, one of the best things now is not watching the clock anymore. I spent years watching the clock. Time would crawl waiting for my next dose. Time I could have enjoyed my life. Don't get me wrong, it isn't easy getting here. Staying clean is hard but it can be done.

    If you've fallen off, get back up and try again. Get your life back. I was able to get off Fentanyl and Oxy. Yes, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. But God, was it worth it. I wish you the best of luck and reach out for support...we are here for you!!!

  16. #16
    blast is offline New Member
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    So proud of you. Wish I had the strength.

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