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I need help
  1. #1
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Default I need help

    Im on around 500 mg oxyneo per day. (Oxyneo is a new name for oxydontin here)

    No doctor, rehab etc available.

    I have a willpower to wean off. All my pills are 30 mg each so I normally take 8 in morning and 8 at night. Rarely i did take 9. So before I got ready to start reducing by a pill or 2 every five days or so,in meantime some doctor was asked online about it, he said "that junkie is dead" or "he will die" but did say "he should try reduce by 10%.

    He scared the >>>> out of me. i wanna wean off. I got some gabapenting and some Thomas recepe stuff. I got about 700 pills (30 mg) so can someone please give me some hope and some idea.

    I know I will battle depression as I had depression prior starting the meds 2 years ago but one more question I have. If I manage to ger off, will I eventually feel normal because now I feel like a zombie.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Maggie1976 is offline Member
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    Hi Ben39,

    i just wanted to let you know that I was on oxyneo as well , I went to a rehab to detox last year around this time. April 4th will be my 1 year off the oxy. I went through a rough time because I was on it for around 8 years. I made it through and I am feeling 100 percent better now. When I was going through the worst of it, I thought that I would never feel normal again and no matter how much people would tell me it would pass I didn't believe them. Something made me push through anyway my sons I think and now I am very happy about my decision. That is a very high dose that you are on and you can taper off. I think the best way would be to taper down a little bit lower and then cold turkey. If you can get help from a detox facility I know it helped me tremendously.
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  3. #3
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Hi.Thx Maggie. I just wanted to quit by taking out a pill or two a day every few days but that doctor scared me who said due to the high dose, "quitting it is fatal".

    Maggie my pills are 30 mg each so you know oxyneo cannot be cut
    Can you go to detox facility like on and off?
    Can you hide identity?

    I want to get off of it. Why did I have to know what doctors' think? Im so scared now
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-02-2016 at 11:02 PM.

  4. #4
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hi Ben, I would think you could drop your current dose by 10-15% right away and then continue that dosage reduction every 5-7 days as long as you feel pretty stable? You might experience some mild withdrawal symptoms along the way but I don't think it will be that bad on a small, slow reduction as mentioned? Since you can't cut your pills I would personally round up or down to the nearest milligram? You would have to do the math to figure out if you have enough pills to complete this reduction plan, if not you will have to adjust the schedule as needed? If you are feeling okay you can reduce a little faster and at a higher %? If it were me I'd start with a 60mg reduction right away, down to 420mg per day for 5 days then reduce again by 10-15% and so on and so forth? I'm not an expert, this is just my personal opinion? Keep posting your progress and let us know how you are doing? Others will be by also to lend thier support and advice so hang in there. You'll get through this, things will get better but it will take time? And yes, you will eventually feel normal without the opiates. Best wishes! Take care... God bless us all!
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  5. #5
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Ricky. Thanks for support. I am starting tomorrow. I will be posting here. This forum and people who eventually help me here are my only support. Thanks.

  6. #6
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome Ben,

    I don't know who this doctor is that put this fear in you but he's wrong. Detoxing, even cold turkey is not dangerous. It's uncomfortable both mentally and physically but it isn't dangerous. Period.

    You've already gotten some good advice. If you have the discipline to taper, that's the way to go. Some reductions will be easier than others but the most important rule is once you reduce, stay there until you are stable and feeling little to no withdrawal symptoms and then reduce again. It's true that because your dose is pretty high, your first reduction can be by more than it will be as you move along. If you go too quickly, it will become too difficult. After your first reduction, take at least a week at that dose and then cut out a pill or 2 and stay there for several days to a week and keep going. Listen to your body and be honest with yourself to be sure you know which part of your taper is mental is which is physical.

    Tapering more slowly and going in the right direction is your goal. No bouncing up and down on your dose depending on how you're feeling on a particular day. Once you make a reduction, stick to it and your body will catch up and adjust. If you don't feel ready to make another reduction, then wait a day or two longer. Better to take more time at each dose because in the long run, it'll make your taper quicker.

    At the same time as you're tapering, begin to make your recovery plan. You have got to have a plan. Sounds like you intend to tough this out alone. Not usually the best idea. It sounds like you don't want to go to meetings. Maybe one day you will change your mind. What about therapy? This Forum offers incredible support and advice and I have no doubt that if you want this bad enough, you'll get through it. What remains is our mental healing and it sure does make a difference with face to face support in whatever form you can get. Please just think about it. I don't and won't preach meetings or anything else to you but we have to have some kind of plan to lessen the risk of relapse. What are you going to do differently?

    No. Rehab isn't an on and off kinda thing. There are options though. Inpatient is most often a 30 day program but can be longer if you need it. You might also look into an intensive outpatient program (IOP). This usually consists of group meetings but in a clinical setting so it might feel more comfortable for you as well as some one on one therapy.

    Good luck and keep posting. Today is your first reduction? Let us know how much you reduced and how you're feeling/doing.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  7. #7
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Catrina. Thank you very much. You wrote something like I wanted to hear, plus advice on rehab. I send you a hug.

    Yes today will be day ONE. April the third. I also started this at low dose sometimes in April in 2014. I am taking klonopin and an antidepressant. I changed the antidepressant last week but will go back to the old one because I don't think it is a good idea to change anything now that I am getting off of this poison.

    I don't have a solid plan. My plan is to reduce 1 pill per (depends). Today I will start with 2 pills. one at morning one at night.

    My biggest withdrawal fears are depression because i've had it for a long time, RLS (In my case restless body syndrome but I got gabapentin and we will see how much it can help. I will also get some Thomas' recipe stuff but not all because I take benzos and AD so I am scared to mix all of it.

    I do work, odd hours though (security). I have a hope that you people from this forum will support me. My family doesn't know and they can't know except my sister and she supports me when she can but her availability is limited.

    I will keep on writing on here.

    Thank You.

  8. #8
    Ming23 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Ben
    Welcome!
    If you follow Cat's advice you'll be fine. The folks on this Forum have real life experience as opposed to an opinion given by an individual with a few letters after his name but no real understanding of the process. It's like the difference between seeing pictures of pizza and actually eating a slice! Education is good but experience is better. Always.
    You will be surprised at how many of us have successfully tapered off any number of substances using the help of the Forum. You're in the right place.
    Bring your determination along. It will get you through everything!
    You can do this. We did. Why not you?
    Rooting for ya!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-03-2016 at 09:17 AM.

  9. #9
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Many thanks, Ming. 7 hours ago I took 7 pills instead of the usual 8 and slept until now. Besides some body weakness and dizziness, I feel OK. I know this is even too early to have symptoms but ATM I am fine.

    I Will keep posting. Your words of support are VERY helpful

  10. #10
    Maggie1976 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben39 View Post
    Hi.Thx Maggie. I just wanted to quit by taking out a pill or two a day every few days but that doctor scared me who said due to the high dose, "quitting it is fatal".

    Maggie my pills are 30 mg each so you know oxyneo cannot be cut
    Can you go to detox facility like on and off?
    Can you hide identity?

    I want to get off of it. Why did I have to know what doctors' think? Im so scared now
    i always had the 10mg ones, they would make it easier for you when you get low in your taper, if you can get those ones instead.
    There are different types of rehab programs like Cat was saying above. I researched all the ones close to me and choose what worked for me. The one I went to was private with your identity. It worked for me, but you need to continue with your plans and know that you can't stop trying whichever way you decide to stop, never give up on the end game to quit.

  11. #11
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    I have some 10 mg. I just took 20 mg. I got very emotional. Something sad came to my mind and I almost weeped.

    At rehabs, do they give you meds if you ran out?

  12. #12
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    So I made my withdrawal plan. I hope I can do it weekly. Every week I would be taking 60 mg off. If I find it too hard, I can throw in some oxycodone as I have some in 10 MG. If it works as planned, it would take me upto 3 months to be off. Long time but better take my time with less symptoms than rush with it and relapse.

    I just hope that depression avoids me as well as restless leg, restless arms. I also get emotional when I don't take these pills.

    Next, I will add up what supplements or other meds I will be using with it.

  13. #13
    Ricky71 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben39 View Post
    So I made my withdrawal plan. I hope I can do it weekly. Every week I would be taking 60 mg off. If I find it too hard, I can throw in some oxycodone as I have some in 10 MG. If it works as planned, it would take me upto 3 months to be off. Long time but better take my time with less symptoms than rush with it and relapse.

    I just hope that depression avoids me as well as restless leg, restless arms. I also get emotional when I don't take these pills.

    Next, I will add up what supplements or other meds I will be using with it.
    Good luck with your plan Ben! I would try to save as much of the 10mg oxycodones as possible for the final stages of your taper? I personally would switch to oxycodone exclusively after you're down to 30mg/day of the oxycontin. That way you can taper to lower milligrams with the oxycodone. When I tapered off oxycodone last fall, I tapered all the way down to 1.25mg/day before I jumped. You can do this, stay strong and positive! Best wishes... God bless us all!

    P.S.
    Keep us posted?
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  14. #14
    Maggie1976 is offline Member
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    When I went into the rehab for the detox they cut my dose in half on the first day. Then a fast taper that lasted about 4 days. It was a medicated detox done by the Dr there. So I slept a lot through the first few days. I still had some very bad withdrawals though, but I got through it. It's kind of like being in a storm and having no choice but to tough it out until the storm passes, we know that it will stop and the weather will be nice again but we don't know when. I think your tapering plan sounds good, I found doing a lot of research helped me stay focused when I went through the depression part, but not everybody goes through that part.

    wish you the best on your taper
    Maggie

  15. #15
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    OMG 9 month have passed since I posted here. Life is passing by me and Im like living dead.

  16. #16
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    How you doing, Ben? It has been a long time since you posted. I just re-read your thread and posts from last April. You had a plan and then disappeared. It happens. Where are you at now? Were you able to make any progress?

    Tapering is difficult. It certainly was beyond my capabilities. Others have been able to do it but it really is hard. You posted again and to me that means that you still want off these pills. Catch us up with how you're doing and maybe we can help.

    Peace,

    Cat

  17. #17
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Hi Catrina. I cut down to roughly 50%. Then due to stress and depression I would go a pill or 2 up or down. Now I plan to continue.

    To be honest I didn't think any one on here would care on my progress or offer "long term" help. But I will keep my update.

    Thanks for your support Catrina.
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  18. #18
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Copied this from your other thread, and will continue posting here when I have a chance:

    "OMG. DravenDomnq you really confused me. What do you mean suffering for YEARS? How much were you taking at highest point. My highest dose you can find in my other thread where i will continue posting.
    Thanks"


    When I first was put in the hospital after a bad accident a little over 12 years ago they had me on between 800-1000mg of Oxy a day, along with many other muscle relaxers, benzos/SSRI's and a ton of other stuff. For almost 8 years I just blindly let the doctors give me what they wanted, which was often making huge cuts (like I said in the other thread up to 50+% at a time), or let them keep me on a very high dose of all the combination of meds they had me on. I had to switch a lot of doctors and hospitals over those years, so never had the mental strength to really see what they were doing to me. Plus I was in such a mental fog I never really thought about all of it, just was trying to deal the best I could.

    A little over 4 years ago my gf found me lying in a hospital bed, and we started to take control of my own medical recovery. We did the surgeries that I really needed for my back, neck and knee, and worked with other doctors to do more reasonable med combinations. A lot of times I had to find my own combination of meds that worked for me. I've struggled with depression and anxiety long before any meds, so have to be really careful about how I handle all of that as well. About a year ago I was in a really dark place because they had once again done a huge cut and we were making a 8 hour drive to see the last doctor, often while I was going through a taper withdrawal.

    I found the Thomas Recipe Thread on here one night during that time, and started incorporating it into my withdrawals which that, combined with smaller tapers made things easier. I tried to make the jump when I was stabilized on 260mg of Oxy, but only made it 9 days before I couldn't go any longer and went back to the doctors. I slowly tapered down to between 140-170mg of Oxy a day and made the jump 30 days ago today from that amount. Haven't looked back since!

    Like I said in the other thread though, if I had found this information and the people here years and years ago it would have saved me a lot of hardship. A slow taper from the very beginning, and getting off a lot of the other meds sooner than I did, would have save me a LOT of hardship over the years.

    Regardless, I hope you find what works for you, and that you're able to hang in there! LOT of good support on this site, and glad that you're posting again so I can follow your story as well!!
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-17-2016 at 04:13 PM.
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  19. #19
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    I am very sorry about your accident. I am glad you are recovering.

    We are kinda in the same boat minus the accident. I too have had depression and anxiety way before doctor put me on Oxy. I found Thomas' recipe but since I take klonopin 4 mg 2xday plus antidepressants, I am scared to take anything from health store. Are you saying that since 140-170 mg a month ago you made a jump cold Turkey?

    I am as of today on 180 mg.next week i hope to go 150.

    Thanks for support.
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  20. #20
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    First rock on the road. Mild back pain but I need to install laminate in 3 bedrooms. Lots of physical work.

    PS. Oh boy do I miss a beer. Haven't had one since I started the damn pills
    Iluv2smile likes this.

  21. #21
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey Ben, the last day I took Oxy I took 160mg, started cold turkey the next morning. That was just over a month ago today. On my phone so hard to share more now, but will catch up as I'm able. Hope you have a GREAT night!

  22. #22
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Please do, tell me how were your withdrawals especially since you too have depression.

  23. #23
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Did some work yesterday. felt good and finished only one (big) walk in closet. Oh boy, today my back and my legs are so sore I had to take 120 mg insted of 90, again.

  24. #24
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben39 View Post
    I am very sorry about your accident. I am glad you are recovering.

    We are kinda in the same boat minus the accident. I too have had depression and anxiety way before doctor put me on Oxy. I found Thomas' recipe but since I take klonopin 4 mg 2xday plus antidepressants, I am scared to take anything from health store. Are you saying that since 140-170 mg a month ago you made a jump cold Turkey?

    I am as of today on 180 mg.next week i hope to go 150.

    Thanks for support.
    Also: "Please do, tell me how were your withdrawals especially since you too have depression."

    Thank you, and also thanks again for sharing your story. It always helps keep me going to see others that are tapering and working to make the jump as well!

    The first two weeks I went cold turkey were really rough, and towards the end I went pretty crazy mentally, but was also up for over 60 hours straight right at the end of two weeks. When I hit two weeks though, the mental fog cleared a ton and while the physical pain was very noticeable, the mental clarity was better than it had been in years. I also started getting a little bit more sleep every night after two weeks, sometimes just 1/2 a hour more, but every little bit helped.

    Pretty much every day since I hit two weeks has been decent with the exception of a few days where I had a pretty bad fibro flare. I did have to take 1/2 a Valium (would have been 2.5mg worth) on one of those days, but would rather deal with that then going back on any pain meds. I know that benzos/SSRI's, while it would be nice to be off of them forever, are something that I might have to go back on someday for a time. I've been on and off of them long enough though that I know what works for me and how I can get off of them when I need to.

    Overall the depression/anxiety has been manageable without having to use Xanax, Valium or Trazadone (the meds I usually use) on any kind of a regular basis. I've worked really hard on instituting new routines into my day so I don't think of using pills to manage myself, and try to always look for the positive instead of dwelling on the negative. I have my down days, and days I can't do a lot because of the physical pain in my back, neck and knee, but overall I'm actually starting to do more off the meds than I ever did on them.

    Also having my mental clarity back helps a ton with managing my time better, and managing the depression/anxiety. I've had a couple times I almost had a panic attack, but was able to get through it with support from my gf, our fur babies (we have 3 dogs and 2 cats), breathing exercises, hot baths, music etc. instead of always reaching for another pill. I'd say now that it's been a bit over a month the depression and anxiety are actually more easily managed than when I was always stressing about making the pain meds last until I saw the doctor again, or had to prepare myself for a 3-5 day withdrawal before I saw the doctor.

    Once again, I hope you keep up the good work, and keep at it!! Hope you have a great night!!
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  25. #25
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    It takes courage and strength to quit from such a high dose. I have mental fog, or what they like to call depersonalization and derealization. Will see how that affects me when I continue to taper. (due to some heavy physical work my body hurt crazy and lost strength in my legs so I postponed my taper again). I will post again when there is a change.

    Thanks
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  26. #26
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Depression. It is really bad. I am as of today on 150 mg of oxy daily and I spent the whole day in bed. There is NOTHING that helps. No interest in anything. I can't increase my dose even temporary because I will run out of them. Gabapentin helps littlebit for RLS. Pain is starting to get worse.When I used to get blues while on monster oxy dose I could find temporary relief in TV or a book but now I can't make myself tea. And it's gonna get worse. If I didn't have some hope that this will pass I would start thinking about....point of life...

  27. #27
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben39 View Post
    Depression. It is really bad. I am as of today on 150 mg of oxy daily and I spent the whole day in bed. There is NOTHING that helps. No interest in anything. I can't increase my dose even temporary because I will run out of them. Gabapentin helps littlebit for RLS. Pain is starting to get worse.When I used to get blues while on monster oxy dose I could find temporary relief in TV or a book but now I can't make myself tea. And it's gonna get worse. If I didn't have some hope that this will pass I would start thinking about....point of life...
    Hey Ben, good morning. When I was going through my tapers, especially when they had done a larger cut, I was in the same boat. There would be times I couldn't get out of bed for quite a while, and had absolutely no interest in anything. While I didn't start posting here until I made the jump, trust me, there would have been a lot of very depressing posts during my tapers if I had been posting here. A lot of times on smaller doses I thought my life was going to be over, that I would never stabilize or ever be able to do anything again with my life.

    Originally I was going to taper down ever further than I did before making the jump, but finally got too frustrated with the tapers to keep going with them. Over a decade of tapering really wore on me a lot. Not just because of the depression, but because I'd finally stabilize, get over the heavy depression and be doing ok, then something would come up and I'd start taking too many meds again. It would cause me to run out and I'd start going through 3-5 day withdrawals until I could get the meds filled again.

    The heavy depression passed for me, just took a bit of time, both during the tapers and after the jump. I still have my good days and bad days, but had those on the pills too. The pills never took away the depression I've always suffered with, just dulled my feelings enough I didn't have to confront it. I'd say now, over 2 months after the jump, my depression is better than it has been in many years, and far more manageable.

    I hope this passes for you quickly as well, and that you're able to keep hanging in there! Just woke up so I hope the above was coherent, just wanted to assure you, from somebody that knows similar feelings, that they passed. I hope today starts looking up for you a bit, and as always, wish you nothing but the best!!

  28. #28
    blast is offline New Member
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    Hi Ben. I was thinking about how you were doing. I totally understand the pain, depression, etc while tapering. I wish you the best and hope you can do it.

  29. #29
    Ben39 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks guys. It would be a little easier if my hypochondria was not telling me that my "delayed urine" and stomach swelling that I might have cancer. So the anxiety makes even depression worse. Today I was all but normal. If I only had support at home. Instead, my family members have their own problems that they are occupied with.

    This is the only place where I can get some support. Maybe counseling would help. Maybe I should add another antidepressant.

    Quitting smoking is yet another burden. But I have to quit because i am one of those rare people who gets anxiety and even feels more depressed when I smoke.

    Also maybe i cut too much. Maybe i will go to 180-210 for a few days.
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  30. #30
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ben39 View Post
    Thanks guys. It would be a little easier if my hypochondria was not telling me that my "delayed urine" and stomach swelling that I might have cancer. So the anxiety makes even depression worse. Today I was all but normal. If I only had support at home. Instead, my family members have their own problems that they are occupied with.

    This is the only place where I can get some support. Maybe counseling would help. Maybe I should add another antidepressant.

    Quitting smoking is yet another burden. But I have to quit because i am one of those rare people who gets anxiety and even feels more depressed when I smoke.

    Also maybe i cut too much. Maybe i will go to 180-210 for a few days.
    Hey Ben, I think some kind of support like counseling, or NA would be a very good idea. Any way you can get support will only help, not just now, but with long term success. The support on these forums is amazing, but it's also good to get some face to face support as well in my opinion. Also, if you were starting to feel normal on that lower dose, I'd definitely think about not upping it. From my experience, if I started taking more after I started feeling normal on a lower dose, it only caused more problems in the long run. Just my experience, and you'll always get my support regardless of what you do, but did want to share that with you.

    Also, I think it's easy to think that more is wrong with us than actually is, especially as we taper off the meds. It was very easy for my mind to jump to the worst case scenario when I was already down because of the taper, when in actuality everything was fine. I think it's always good to get checked out, have blood work etc. done, if nothing else just to ease your mind, but with all the anxiety that we deal with it's always very easy to jump to the worst case possible, at least it was for me.

    Hopefully you feel better today, and even more back to normal!

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