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I want to get clean made appointment with Meth Clinic not sure what to do!
  1. #1
    AliciaH is offline New Member
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    Default I want to get clean made appointment with Meth Clinic not sure what to do!

    Hi I am a 33yr old female who has been addicted to hydrocodone for about two years. I take oxycodone as well if that's what I can get. Obviously the dosage comes in 5/325, 7.5/325 and 10/325. I was taking from 80-100Mg/day. I'm on a schedule with it. Around 4 or 5pm each day I will take around 40-50mg at first and then a few hours later I'll pop another 30-50mg depending on how much I can get or afford. Last week I attempted to quit cold turkey I had some time off and I made it to day 3 or 4 and went out and got more pills. So right now I haven't been taking 80-100mg, more like 30-60 depending on what I can get. So in a sense I have tapered my dose. I last used yesterday and by all means could probably make it through today but tomorrow I'll be fairly sick. I work at a very strenuous job. I do get Klonopin which is prescribed and I don't abuse it. Anyway I made an appointment with a methadone clinic about 30 miles from where I live. It's in two days on Thursday. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing. What if I can't afford the gas or the dose for some reason? My fiancé and I live a good life but like many Americans things get tight at times. I suppose in the grand scheme of things it's much less expensive than my habit. But all I want to do is get through WD's and be done with all of it. Not get off hydrocodone and then be stuck on methadone having to report to the clinic everyday just so I don't get sick from that. The guy I spoke with was honest and said it is harder to get off methadone than hydrocodone. I'm just a confused person right now. All I want to do is be clean, go out into the world again. I barely go around my friends anymore because I like to be high at home. I don't mix my pill addiction with alcohol as I'm already doing enough damage to my liver as is. But I would give anything to go see my friends and drink some beer. This has just taken me for all I am. If i could just get passed the damn WD's I know I could beat this because I don't want it anymore. Every time I use, there's this huge feeling of guilt that comes over me. Anyway thanks just wanted to put my story out there.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-21-2015 at 12:16 PM.

  2. #2
    AliciaH is offline New Member
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    Maybe I should try 20mg of hydrocodone over the next few days as that's the amount that seems to not get me high but keep me from getting sick and then taper from there?

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    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Alicia and welcome to the forum! I'll do everything in my power to talk you out of going on methadone. The clinic probably makes it sound good, but I'm betting you'll eventually hate it as much as I did, and so many others here that have traveled that road. I was on high doses for years and eneded up abusing the methadone just as I did every other drug I gobbled. It robbed me of my soul, and any quality of life. I was like a walking talking zombie after a while. They call it "liquid handcuffs" for a very good reason. Going to the clinic to dose gets old in a hurry. I urge you to reconsider using methadone at this time, or ever for that matter. I would do anything else to get clean, or any other method except that one!

    In your case with your particular habit I would give CT another shot. If you made it to day 3 or 4 previously you were just about out of the woods before getting more pills. You basically had it made because a CT detox from the pills you're on has days 3-4 as usually the worst and gets much better every day afterwards. Can you try it again and give it everything you have in you? That would definitely be the preferred method.

    Another suggestion is going on suboxone. It's just a tool to help fight addiction with and not nearly as bad as many make it out to be, IF USED CORRECTLY! I switched from methadone to subs because it's easier to taper subs because it provids no euphoria in most cases. I made the switch, tapered the subs, and now been off all addictive substances for going on 10 months. Never felt better in my life!!

    Subs should be the last choice over CT. If you just can't perform a CT detox again then subs may be a good choice. I would positively take subs before I EVER would methadone. Think it over and continue to post often. You'll receive plenty of help and support here. I will be happy to help if subs is your ultimate choice. If not I'll support whatever decision you make!

    Randy
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  4. #4
    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by AliciaH View Post
    Maybe I should try 20mg of hydrocodone over the next few days as that's the amount that seems to not get me high but keep me from getting sick and then taper from there?
    If you can taper the hydro maore power to you! Tapering takes lots of willpower because you have the pills laying around and it's very easy to take extra when the symptoms get rough. I could never taper myself because I would always gobble the pills down and say I'll taper next time. It never happened of course. Not saying you can't go that route, it's been done many times. Whatever plan you make for yourself you have to stick with it and give it everything you got.

    No matter how you attempt to get clean you have to WANT IT more than anything else in the world! A good taper plan is to reduce the dose by 1/2 of a pill every 4 or so days. If you can stick with it then it will work!

    Randy

  5. #5
    AliciaH is offline New Member
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    Thanks so much for the response Randy I really appreciate it and I've decided to avoid the clinic. Since I went CT about 7-10 days ago I am already taking half of what I was talking. Down from 80-100mg to roughly 30-40mg since my WD attempt. And surprisingly 30-35mg gets me high and that energy burst that I've been most addicted to. So it must mean I've made some progress. I promise to not go to the clinic and do everything in my power to avoid that. Unfortunately right now I'm uninsured and I called about subs and it's like $400 to get started and right now I just don't have that laying around. But I appreciate the info. And maybe now since I'm able to get away with this lower dose I've been on it will make CT a little easier. I did it once a year ago and was clean for a while but I had some life issues and felt I "deserved" a little escape. But you know how that goes, just gonna do it once, twice, then everyday. I worked through it then too. My addiction and the amount I'm taking though has gone higher since then so it's not as easy to quit. But I do want it more than anything I hate that every day or every other day I'm going out of my way to seek out pills and spending my money on them when I could be spending it on other things. And I miss my social life. Like I said I've buried myself in my house. I know when my dealer wakes up I'll go get some on break at work I can say I won't but I will but. You're right I just need to go CT because it's the quickest way through the this. Might be the hardest too but I can't do this anymore. So I will try and take the minimum over the next few days and only buy the minimum because I can't go back twice in a day. I'll keep in touch for sure and I appreciate the response it's always good to hear from people that know what I'm going through.

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    Randy35 is offline Platinum Member
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    Why would you want to even consider buying more? Use what you have now no matter how few that is and taper them down as I mentioned. Once you run out call it a done deal and begin adding up clean days. If you buy more you'll only prolong the process. Tapering can be such a challenge. You're basically in wd's all the way down in doses. The sooner you run out the better don't you think?

    Randy
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-21-2015 at 02:23 PM.

  7. #7
    AliciaH is offline New Member
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    You're right. I don't have any today. Yesterday was the last time I used and I don't feel too bad today although I know tomorrow is going to be awful. I'm 24hrs in and I'm anxious and low on energy and mostly afraid of tomorrow. And everything I've read about tapering is nothing but a failure. Best thing is just to get this devil out of my body. Like I said my job is very hard labor but maybe the exercise and knowing I have to go to work will help as I hear exercise is always a big key. I did it a year ago while having to work I can do it again. Only a year ago I got clean for reasons other than really wanting to. This time it's because I want to and I'm so sick and tired of using. Ok so here I go, and I mean it seriously. Guess I'll use the money I was going to spend on pills to buy things to help me through this.

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