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I'm addicted and need to quit
  1. #1
    Needtoquit99 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
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    1

    Default I'm addicted and need to quit

    Hello, let me start off by saying I'm a new member and believe this is the best place for advice. I'm sorry for the long post as well.

    I'm a male in my late 20's and became addicted to pain medication over a year ago. I work full time 40-60 hours a week and its starting to really wear me down. I first went on pain medication because I started having joint and muscle pain throughout my entire body about 2 years ago. I've seen numerous doctors including many specialists, done every test in the book and no one can give me a solid answer to what's going on. I've been told it could be fibromyalgia, CFS, depression and/or poor sleep.. I still don't know what is causing it, and it seems to be getting worse as time goes on. I've been struggling with this pain every single day for the past 2 years. I wake up every morning stiff and very sore/achy, I have depression, anxiety, sleep problems and absolutely no energy at all no matter what I do.

    Long story short, the pain medication took care of all of my symptoms for a year or so until I started abusing them a year ago. I now take them to just stop the w/ds. They don't help with the pain much, don't give me that energy boost or nothing like that anymore. I take anywhere from 8-10 percocet 10/325 a day and sometimes more. I've tried several pain meds including long acting and patches, steroid injections..ect but always go back to percs because I think they work the best.

    The addiction is rapidly getting worse and worse each day requiring me to take more and more. I have lied to my family, friends, and my doctor just to score more pills. I have kept this a secret, my wife doesn't even know.

    How does someone in constant pain stop abusing these things and go back to taking them responsibly? I'm almost out and afraid of the withdrawals that will begin very soon.. I also can't miss work. I feel like I've screwed myself and everyone else over. Any advice will be great.

  2. #2
    Iluv2smile is offline Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    2,537

    Default

    Hi there..
    If you can move your thread to the need to talk board there is more traffic there..
    But you can do this..
    Many on here have used the Thomas Receipe it is on the
    Featured conditions board..

    Stay hydrated
    Drink water
    Good healthy fruit juices
    Extra protein ( protein shake)

    Hide your clocks..
    Time seems to stop..
    Multi vitamin with minerals
    Hylands restless leg med
    Imodium the liquid seems to help more..

    Keep posting you will get support from people who are going through the same
    Or
    Have detoxed already and are living life clean

    It is very hard to honestly evaluate your pain while still on opiates..
    Exercise will help get your own endorphins flowing ..

    I use Excedrin for my pain
    It works
    I am 60+ days clean..
    It does get better..
    If you have to work through it ..
    You will look like you have the flu..
    But it will pass..
    Days 2-3 are usually the worst..
    A small price to pay for freedom..
    Right?
    I will check back later
    Take care
    Iluv2
    Catrina likes this.

  3. #3
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    5,146

    Default

    Welcome,

    Luv says it best. I CT a bit over 5 years ago from a higher daily dosage than you are right now. It wasn't my first rodeo. At this point, it's impossible to determine what's legitimate pain or discomfort from withdrawal symptoms. The ONLY way to tell is to get clean and give it some time. Many of us here have medical issues/pain too, including me. When I first joined here and others told me that they now control their pain with over-the counter meds, I was in disbelief. I now know this is absolutely true. Do I have bad days? Yep. I'm a lot older than you too. You mentioned something about getting this under control and taking your pain meds responsibly. You won't want to hear this, but once addicted--there's no such thing. It's all or nothing. Trust me on that! For years I thought if I could fight through getting clean, I could take my meds as prescribed and I'd be good. It just doesn't work that way.

    I am glad that you recognize that this is an issue for you. That's the start. It's a long road, this recovery thing but I have to tell you that the freedom is worth all of it! The bad days--worth it! These pills control our lives, our thoughts. When in active addiction, we are obsessed with how many pills do we have, where will I get more? We miss the forest for the trees.

    Stay tuned here for support. We can at least give you that. The decision and work is yours. Just know that it truly is worth every second for the reward of being free.

    Peace,

    Cat

  4. #4
    hadenoughmeds is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2

    Default

    Hi

    I experienced something similar (although not exactly the same). I started with pain meds in 2010 for a back injury. For the last few years I have been on subutex and my pain, depression and fatigue just kept getting worse. I also started gaining weight and my injuries started becoming more frequent. I really felt like it was hopeless and my doctors were indifferent to my pain. As soon as they found out about my addiction, that was to blame for everything and they wouldn't even consider helping me.

    A while ago I decided to get help and not take no for an answer. I got some blood tests which showed low testosterone and high epinephrine. There is a good chance that this was caused by the subutex but that doesn't really matter to me right now. I just wanted to treat it.

    I started getting testosterone shots to bring my level up to normal for a 34 year-old male and within a month my depression was gone, my pain felt healed, I had my energy back and I lost a lot of weight quickly.

    The part that is interesting is that I have been reducing my subutex constantly since then. It wasn't really a conscious decision. I just didn't need as much to get through a day. I was taking 16mg but with less pain and depression, I went down to 2mg without even noticing. I feel motivated to stop again - a feeling I haven't had since I originally started with this poison.

    My subutex doctor has since told me that nearly all of his male patients get low testosterone from his treatment. Low T for a man has horrible symptoms. Depression, fatigue, pain, lack of ability to heal, loss of muscle mass and a lack of motivation all make quitting a lot harder which is better for him. I felt so sick that the last thing I wanted was to add withdrawal to my misery.

    I don't know what causes your pain but it is at least worth getting a blood test to make sure that there isn't something simple that can be fixed. I have a friend who went through 2 years of hell with "chronic fatigue" which turned out to be a vitamin B12 deficiency. Some diagnosis are the same as saying "we don't know what it is". To me, chronic fatigue and depression are symptoms, not conditions.

    I would also add that my pain always gets worse when I am on opiate pain meds for a long period. My pain gets even worse when I go through withdrawal which often makes me afraid to even try but the times when I have gone through it, my pain usually gets better or goes away after a while.

    I would ask your doctor if you can try diclofenac as an alternative to opiate pain meds. It is an anti-inflamitory but it works a lot better than any other I have tried. It is the only non-opiate pain med that ever made a meaningful difference to my pain. Any other anti-inflamitory always felt like an insult when it was prescribed to me because they were so ineffective.

    On quitting opiates, I won't offer any advice here. I have often been able to force my way through withdrawal but I have never been very good at staying off them for good. After 6 months, I can't stand the depression any more. I might have a fighting chance without the low T this time.... I really feel different.

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