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I'm having the worse time I'm so sick
  1. #271
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    That's a lot to take in. I could get more pills but I haven't. The only time I thought about getting more pills was when I was so sick but I didn't . I want to change my mindset maybe I've been an addict so long I have a hard time getting my mind to think different. I know it's my choice if I use again.im still so new at not using anything after so long. I don't know how to get through the mental part and I don't want to waste anyone's time here but I hope I can change everything about me and the longer I'm drug free the more I will start enjoying life.
    Yes. You said it better than I did. The fact that you used for so long has become your normal. Being drug free is uncomfortable at first both in mind and body. That's true for all of us and worse for those of us who used for so very long. I had those same struggles, Judy. Honest I did. I argued with myself every single day early on to the point of tears sometimes. I didn't know who I was or if it was someone I even wanted to be. I just wanted what I had grown to be comfortable with and that was using every single day. Just like you, I'd post here and read and allow myself to have faith that what I was being told was true. I was determined to hang in there for as long as it took to find out for myself. Thank God I did!!

    I swear I wasn't being critical. I just was trying to find a way to explain this to you. The difference is that after many, many attempts at getting and staying clean, this last time over eight years ago I was excited and I was determined that no matter how badly I felt I was going to win this battle. I was just so tired of being scared all of the time. Tired of being a prisoner. Just tired and I wanted to free of it all and decided that I'd have it figure it out along the way. This is also why meetings or other support is so important. There's no possible way that we can learn enough or figure out enough on our own and why should we need to try? Meetings are free and full of people who know exactly what we're going through. People there can support us and give us advice. They can tell us how they cope(d) and if we can take only one thing away that we didn't already know, then it's an hour well spent. At some point we turn that around and the very best medicine is giving back to the next addict in need. It's what keeps me going.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  2. #272
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Cat,
    I feel like you did help me "kicking and screaming" the whole way.Part of my problem is as long as I've been on drugs I had no clue about the detox from methdone and even less clueless about the detoxing off of Subutex. I've thought about what I was going to say back to you. I have to stop, I want to enjoy the rest of my life drug free.Im going to make it and thank you for helping me to get this far.
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  3. #273
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I just watched CNN about pot and I think I'm going to try it thank you

  4. #274
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Judy - are you in NorCal or SoCal?

    The one kind that has kinda helped me a bit are the CBD gummies - super low dose CBD edibles. Have a calming effect on the system without the paranoia the THC can bring.

    Hopefully today is a "good" day. Most people will never understand the "good day" and "bad day" phenomenon. But how could they? It doesn't make any sense - it just is.
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  5. #275
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    I tried smoking pot it makes my heart beat fast and it makes me paranoid
    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    I just watched CNN about pot and I think I'm going to try it thank you
    I watched it too and found it very encouraging. I just love Sanjay Gupta and think he is a brilliant man who cares about people and doesn't judge. A couple of take aways from the special. You have to find a strain that suits you. CBD in particular helps repair your brain from opiod use, and a little bit of everything, THC helps especially for pain, and other issues.

    I also had a bad experience like you. I bought sativa pills. They came in 10 and 50mg and took a whole 10mg thinking that was low. My heart was racing, I couldn't make a sentence, and I was paranoid. It was a disaster, but I chose poorly. A strong sativa, too high a dose, and an ingestible is stronger than vaping. Apparently, sativa works more on dopamine which would explain the paranoia and racing heart. Indica not so much. CBD can also counter some unwanted THC side effects.

    When you go to the dispensary, be sure to tell them all your issues. Tell them you have neuropathy too. You can mix and match using CBD to repair and balance, but maybe a THC hybrid with "some" dopamine during day and indica at night. Ask them, as they are the experts not me. I'm just sharing my mistake and what I learned. All our bodies are different so you will have to explore for yourself. Start LOW and go SLOW! THC is too strong for me on a daily basis but does help if I get a bad headache. I do feel CBD helps clear brain fog. This was my experience. Your mileage may vary.

    Uncle Leo may be right in that Subutex might be too strong and block MM. If it doesn't work right away, it might work after you are finished with Sub. or down lower. You won't know until you try though, and don't forget to watch those strong sativa only strains!

    Glad you're doing a little better today.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-30-2018 at 12:18 PM.
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  6. #276
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I am in north California. Today has been a good day!! This has been seven days in a row. I think I'm getting stable on the Subutex now. Since my doctor is having the pharmacy give me two week doses at a time I think I'm going to have her change it too one week so I can taper faster since I'm only tapering 20 percent each time . What do you think about that?
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  7. #277
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Thank you for all your help .

  8. #278
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    I am in north California. Today has been a good day!! This has been seven days in a row. I think I'm getting stable on the Subutex now. Since my doctor is having the pharmacy give me two week doses at a time I think I'm going to have her change it too one week so I can taper faster since I'm only tapering 20 percent each time . What do you think about that?
    Good to hear that you've been able to string an entire good week together. You did need that break. If I were you, I would try and begin to taper once a week. Just be careful and to not reduce until you are sure you are stable. Your first day at a lower dose should be OK and then you may feel "off" for a day or two but then with a little luck, feel better the next day. Give it a couple of days of feeling well before you attempt another reduction. It's a fine line because you want to be aggressive but not so much that you send yourself back into more bad days than good. Some folks can reduce every four or five days but because you have had some trouble, once a week may be the sweet spot. Certainly worth a try and if it takes you a day or two longer that's OK too.

    Let us know if you do get and try some weed. I too watched the CNN special and found it very encouraging. I'm not the expert by any means but I'm excited that this is getting some attention. Now I hope they can become better funded to expand their research. Thank you 1232 and Uncle Leo for sharing., Interesting stuff!

    Peace,

    Cat

  9. #279
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    My husband is going to get the pot for me and explain to them what I need it for and hopefully it works. When I go back to the Subutex doctor I'm going to have her taper me down once a week since I'm getting it from a compound pharmacy every week's prescription cost me $100.00 and the doctors appointment is $250.00 each time .Can you guys tell me what vitiatms or supplements I should be taking ? I've read so many different things
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-30-2018 at 07:29 PM.
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  10. #280
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Have a great day Judy! Make it a "good" one

    Slow and steady taper...you're in no rush. Just eat lots of good fresh NorCal healthy berries and veggies and you'll be fine. Hit up some Farmer's Markets on your good days...good to get to know each little vendor person...it helps, trust me.
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  11. #281
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Well I almost went 7 days without feeling terrible and then today not my worst day but I had the jitters all day. I just feel like
    my nerves won't calm down . But I'm learning to be grateful for the days I feel ok. Uncle Leo the farmers markets start up here this month and since I don't always eat right I'm going to start going to them and I'm going to learn to cook fresh vegetables, and I'm going start eating fresh fruits. We get the best strawberries here we can go pick them ourselves.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-01-2018 at 09:11 PM.
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  12. #282
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Today has been one of the bad bad days.woke up at 4 am anxious shaking nervous. Left work, angry all day I feel like I'm went totally backwards . One doctor prescribed me cymbalta other doctor prescribed me seroquel I wonder if they don't mix well?
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  13. #283
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    You sure you didn't go back and re-read my thread? Did Lvg put you up to this?? Is this a copy and paste?
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  14. #284
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I really feel like I'm going crazy

  15. #285
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    Can you guys tell me what vitiatms or supplements I should be taking ? I've read so many different things
    Others should chime in, but I think you've got enough going into your system right now. Maybe just a good food state multi-vitamin like MegaFoods or New Chapter that won't upset your stomach. The only other thing, if needed, might be some extra magnesium citrate at night to help calm you and also has a laxative effect if you still are having troubles. I wouldn't add anything else at this point so as to not confuse reactions. Re-evaluate after you stop the sub.

  16. #286
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Uncle Leo
    I re-read your thread and it sounds just like what I'm going through!! It seems like to didn't feel any better till you got down to 1mg so I have a long scary way to go. Just reading it made me nervous.I have missed so much work already don't know if I will still have a job,don't know if my family can put up with me through this
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  17. #287
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Thank you I'm going purchase those

  18. #288
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I went to the doctor (again) and lost another 7 lbs that's a total of 60 lbs that I've lost in a year and a half sine I've stopped the methadone and been on Subutex . I haven't read about anyone losing weight only gaining weight does anyone know if that is another sub issue?

  19. #289
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Uncle Leo ,
    Was there ever a point when you were on subs that you ever felt ok or you never felt ok until you stopped taking them?

  20. #290
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Judy - so the good news actually is you're approaching the one level that at least for me (so probably then for you) was really the "sweet spot."

    2mg - and just steady that ship right there. I remember having all of those same frustrations and miseries and yep- dropping weight too. And just all those just basically begging for the pain in my brain to stop. And it did take several days- not gonna lie. But Randy told me many many times - just hold the line on 2mg and your mind/body will catch up and stabilize. And he was right. So I think right around where you are - just keep sticking with one dose every day till you're ready. You got this.
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  21. #291
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Uncle Leo,
    I'm at at 2.9 mg and I'm staying at that for one more week and my doctor is tapering down to 2.4 mg she said it's was it was a little less then 10 percent she said it was easier for the pharmacy, I just want to feel like a can go to work everyday I don't want to taper to slow and I don't want to taper to fast. After being "ok" for seven days I got so sick yesterday, my arms hurt, my body hurt, I felt like I was going crazy. I still have to take ambien to sleep and anixety pill once a day. I hope I can make some days I'm ready to give up today wasnt one of those days. Thanks for your help
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  22. #292
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Well - it sounds like you're doing generally better. There will always be a few just out of nowhere awful days...I never did figure that one out - and actually still get those...but hopefully that's just me, and something I've learned to accept and not panic over.

    Make sure you're nice and stable before you drop. I struggled with that too obviously

  23. #293
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    At what point do a just take one dose a day?
    Thanks
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  24. #294
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Diff people did it differently. I dosed every morning first thing before coffee...then again around 2pm.

    At 2mg I think I switched to once a day...people say anywhere around 1-2mg. Can depend on your schedule tho too for life.

    I would try to get everything that "needed" to be done - done by very early afternoon because I would just crash so hard in the afternoons and evenings. So depends on how "human" you are required to be each day (just writing this, I can't believe that was really my real life). And I can wake up and smile now Judy

  25. #295
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I think I'll wait till I get to 1 mg this morning I took the wrong dose I took the 1.65 mg instead of the 1.45 mg is that going to effect my taper? I know I'm tapering really slow so I don't want to hurt it? Thanks

  26. #296
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I'm happy you can smile now, I have 30 employee that are asking things from 8-4 Monday through Friday and sometimes
    I can't deal with it . I know it will get better when I'm off of the Subutex but it seems like a million miles a way I'm tapering so slow I know I need to go slow since I haven't done well on the Subutex at all! One day ok the next horrible ! I know you went through the same exact thing. I wonder some people do good on it and some don't ?
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  27. #297
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Really depressing day today. I feel this is never going to get better and I'm never going to be happy again. I can't even remember when was the last time I was excited about anything. The days seem to drag on

  28. #298
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Is anyone tapering on Subutex right now,? I know some on this forum have already tapered off of Subutex but I was wondering if anyone was down to 3 mg so I can relate to them as much as I've gotten help from everyone I still feel alone, I don't know if this is a bad thing to ask

  29. #299
    iiiiiiiiii is offline New Member
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    please call 911 and go to E. R. you are not able to cope. i wish you enough

    Rob in New Mexico .....

  30. #300
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    Is anyone tapering on Subutex right now,? I know some on this forum have already tapered off of Subutex but I was wondering if anyone was down to 3 mg so I can relate to them as much as I've gotten help from everyone I still feel alone, I don't know if this is a bad thing to ask
    Hey Judy, I’m. On .4 mg or 400 micrograms and trying to stabilise it sucks for sure. I was once on Subutex for around two years and I did successfully jump off and feel good. I just backchecked and I went as low as .125 before I jumped and I actually had a really good day by the 7th day. I’m hanging on to that because I’m struggling this time around. I’ve only been back on Subs 3 months so I’m now hoping for similar if not better results if I can make it down to .125. Others don’t go as low but I’m not good with being so brave I don’t think. I had no problems lowering my dose until I got to under 2 mg. For me, most of the symptoms I experienced dropping from 6 to 2mg were psychological and I could easily put them in check once in realised this. This drug comes with an unusual type of anxiety that can be hard to keep in check. How are you feeling today? How long have you been on 3 mg? I won’t be able to give advice as I’m in the same boat but we can share our stories. I’m over on the Need to Talk section.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 05-06-2018 at 04:04 AM.
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