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I'm having the worse time I'm so sick
  1. #301
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I have been on 2,9 mg for 2 weeks ,I'm ready to jump now but I have to wait for pharmacy to make the next dose, which is only a ten percent drop.i have never felt good on this drug I've been sick the entire seven months I've been on it, anixety was the worst and just like the worst painful flu all the time. I tapered down from 16mg to 2.9 mg and now I have some ok days .im going to taper the lowest I can go before I jump I've read how hard it is to do.
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  2. #302
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I didn't mean to say I ready to jump I meant to say I'm ready to taper down more.
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  3. #303
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Can someone tell why they say "less is more" with Suboxone ? Thank you

  4. #304
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Judy - happy sunday...

    Can answer the "less is more" pretty easily for you.

    Once you can stabilize at 2mg - you will eventually realize - oh, I am both "ok" in the sense that the horrific daily suffering of withdrawal has eased - but more to the point - your HEAD CLEARS UP. That's what "less is more" means.

    At 16mg, yes my "withdrawal" pain was "gone" but good lord if I wasn't super clouded and on a total emotional roller-coaster...you should start to find some better balance - less high highs and less low lows... hope that helps.

    PS - rob in New Mex - go check your own self in dude. Leave the girl alone. She's doing great.

  5. #305
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Thank you, I'm sure I sound like I need to go to the hospital sometimes
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  6. #306
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Today was such a good, I know a really bad day is coming because of this medicine if I have a really good the next couple days are going to be really bad. I'm still at 2.9 for 2 more days and then I taper to 2.35 mg . I think I'm staying on doses too long and I'm going to start tapering down after 7 days instead of 14 days because the way I'm going I won't taper off completely until the end of the year.
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  7. #307
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    One step at a time Judy...one step at a time...

    Enjoy your good day...bask in it. Love it. Don't start worrying about possible future bad days or quicker or shorter drops...

    Plenty of time for that later...listen to some music. Eat something you like. Take a walk. It's a beautiful NorCal spring evening...

  8. #308
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I enjoyed the whole day, it's so nice outside , first day in a long long time that I could enjoy it I even enjoyed work today
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  9. #309
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey judy. I'm really glad you had a good day!!! You deserve some relief. Just like uncleleo said just focus on today and keep on doing what you're doing. Live in the here and now. We're so proud of you!! And you should be too. Your strength and determination is shining through.

    Keep doing the next right thing!!
    Beef
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  10. #310
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Today it's 75 degrees outside a beautiful day, didn't feel real bad today, tomorrow I taper I hope for the best. Thank you guys for ALWAYS making me feel like I'm doing so good!Uncle Leo,Cat and Beef.

  11. #311
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Gorgeous out right?? Judy are you Bay Area or more north?

  12. #312
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Bay Area/South bay

  13. #313
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Me too!!! One of these days we'll get together then! Fun!
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  14. #314
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I can hardly wait!!
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  15. #315
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Cat can hardly see thru her tears. She lives on the East Coast and not the Bay Area of SF so she's going to miss the party. Gotta go and try to soothe her. That gal is so upset right now.
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  16. #316
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Airplanes,buses,trains???
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  17. #317
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    That's great!! Sorry I'm gonna miss it. I immediately got an image of John Candy from Planes Trains and Automobiles doin the "Mess Around" on the steering wheel and dashboard of Cat's car while she peacefully sleeps in the passenger seat.
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  18. #318
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefaroni7272 View Post
    That's great!! Sorry I'm gonna miss it. I immediately got an image of John Candy from Planes Trains and Automobiles doin the "Mess Around" on the steering wheel and dashboard of Cat's car while she peacefully sleeps in the passenger seat.
    Love, love, LOVE that movie. Now to see you take your parka off while driving. Not sure if this was my favorite scene or if it was Steve Martin washing his face with John Candy's underwear. Or maybe it's them spooning. So many funny scenes. Ha!! Makes me smile just thinking about it.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  19. #319
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Catrina View Post
    Love, love, LOVE that movie. Now to see you take your parka off while driving. Not sure if this was my favorite scene or if it was Steve Martin washing his face with John Candy's underwear. Or maybe it's them spooning. So many funny scenes. Ha!! Makes me smile just thinking about it.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Ha!! Yes. I love those two. "My blue heaven" is probably one of my all time favorites. And you can never go wrong with "Uncle Buck" or "The Great Outdoors"

  20. #320
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Uncle Leo,
    It's beautiful outside today(again) it's been a good week so for.It seems like I only get real bad for a couple hours now before I was really bad for days at a time, I don't know if it was the same way for you when you were taking the subs. I asked my doctor to taper me down 10 percent every time she calls in my prescription (every two weeks) but when I went to pick it up it was 7 percent ? I feel like she doesn't want me to get off the Subutex. I know you say not to be in such a hurry but I don't want to feel comfortable on this stuff , seven months is too long. I hope your enjoying the sun!
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  21. #321
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Hi Judy - yeah the taper can def feel like a double edged sword at times since it can seem like it's taking an eternity. But your doctor sounds surprisingly competent - although it is the Bay Area - way more progressive docs that most states. My doc had zero plan for me and told me the taper would "be easy and painless" until I asked to start it...

    The weather has been super nice. I've been too depleted all week to enjoy it Circadian rhythm is off or something...slept a bit better last night I think..groggy today but hopefully it wears off... TGIFF
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  22. #322
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    No ,my doctor has fought me a lot about tapering. I found this forum when I was soo sick and Randy was the one who told me the reason I was so sick was because I was on such a high dose of Subutex. My doctor suggested I stay on it forever if I needed too,that she had patients that have been on them their whole lives. Randy suggested I not say anything to her about my tapering, which I didn't till I got down to 8mg. She then told me getting off of Subutex would not hard because she can prescribe the smallest amount and the pharmacy can make it for me. She said she has been prescribing this to people for years and they had no problem getting off of the Subutex.I know that's not true and it makes me think she doesn't know what she is talking about and putting me on such dose in the beginning 16mg .
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  23. #323
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I'm having a really bad day , shaking ,nervous,anixety just feel bad and feel depressed besides everything else....,
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  24. #324
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Hi Judy,

    Sorry that today is turning out to not be one of your good days. I saw your post and thought to myself that this past week has been mostly good for you since last weekend. So, I did go back just a little on your thread and it seems that perhaps you are having more anxiety on the weekends when you don't have to go to work. Do you think that this is true at all? It kinda makes sense to me that this might be the case. Even though having to get out the door and go to work can be hard to do during a taper, being at home and having too much time can cause an entire host of other issues including anxiety.

    If there is any correlation here, then maybe you can at least try and change things up a little to make it better? Something to think about. I know for me, too much time on my hands just isn't a good thing.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  25. #325
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    You are so right , it's hard to get up and go to work during the week but I keep occupied, the weekends I don't do anything, and I have been feeling so much better. It's been 7 months no methadone but it's also been 7 months on Subutex but I feel so much better on this amount then when I did on 16mg. If the anixety gets better I'm going to start going out on the weekends like I use to. I shouldn't be complaining because I'm so much better then I was. Just feeling life is passing me by and I'm not getting any younger
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  26. #326
    UncleLeo is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey Judy - how are you feeling today? Was windy yesterday! I was pretty down in the dumps too...think i was mostly exhausted.

    So I know for a lot of us that have struggled in those mornings to get going and up and out - if you can add a new weekend morning ritual - like you're going to walk to Starbucks or you're going to hike to x and just pull your clothes on and go.

    I struggled FOREVER to get myself from the bed into the shower...just a mental block. Finally I just gave up and changed my mornings to yoga/pilates/spin class and then HAVE to shower there after a workout. If you can think of something like that and then just don't think about it even when you wake up.
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  27. #327
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    All of that sounds good but I just can't get motivated to do that yet. I still don't know day to day how I'm going to feel. This is my third day on 2.7mg and I still have so far to go. It seems like that is all I think about. What is it the same when you were tapering off? It sounds like for years after you are off of every thing there are still mental and physical issues that linger. I feel like I will never feel ok again. Very very windy yesterday, not so much today. Don't want to depress you
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  28. #328
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    All of that sounds good but I just can't get motivated to do that yet. I still don't know day to day how I'm going to feel. This is my third day on 2.7mg and I still have so far to go. It seems like that is all I think about. What is it the same when you were tapering off? It sounds like for years after you are off of every thing there are still mental and physical issues that linger. I feel like I will never feel ok again. Very very windy yesterday, not so much today. Don't want to depress you
    I know that it's hard, but try not to think too much about how you're going to feel after your jump. Here's the thing. It does take some time to level out and begin to feel whatever our normal is (hate that word normal!). Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that EVERYTHING that we feel or think we feel is NOT related to our drug abuse and/or recovery. Life continues to be hard. Period. We all have good days and bad days but that's no different than someone who never abused pain medication. That's life and it's not ever going to be perfect and it certainly is never going to be easy. While we abused our medication, we were less bothered by this fact and now as you become clean it's time to learn how to deal with things. When we're not feeling well it feels impossible and we all know and understand that but it's kinda like creating a new healthy habit by forcing ourselves to face whatever comes our way every single day. and to keep doing it until it begins to be natural. Daunting, isn't it? It takes practice trust me I know. In the beginning I had to find little things that made me feel good even if it was just for a moment. I found one of the best things for me the first time I performed a random act of kindness. It sounds so simple and it was but never did I dream how much it lifted my spirits and made me begin to feel worthwhile. That first act was paying for the cup of coffee for someone behind me in line at the drive-thru. I felt so good that I began to do that at least once a week. Best two bucks I've ever spent!!

    Anyway, when I and others suggest things to you that might help, we're just throwing stuff out there and hopefully something will strike a cord and you'll try it for yourself. We don't mean to trivialize how difficult it can be but it's essential that we try. We have to begin to create new habits/rituals. It's sort of like getting up in the morning and getting ready for work. We wouldn't dream of going out the door without taking a shower and getting dressed. We do it because we have to. If you force yourself out the door to take a short walk every single day, you'll probably hate it at first but with repetition, it will just become another part of your day..

    Peace,

    Cat
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  29. #329
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    One thing I want to add to my last post. If we waited until we felt better to begin the work to create new healthy habits, it might not ever happen. The things we suggest are the things that will speed things up a bit to get you feeling better. It's a Catch 22 because I know you don't feel like you can do any of these things but these are the things that will help you feel better. You know?

    Peace,

    Cat
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  30. #330
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Had a not so good night and not so go morning , would going down only 7 percent give me withdrawls symptoms? Today is my 4th day at 2.7mgs.

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