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I'm having the worse time I'm so sick
  1. #121
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I'm going to stay at 3.2mg for 2 weeks and then I will taper to 2.4 for two weeks. From now on I'm going to taper 2 weeks at a time so I am stable. Thank you

  2. #122
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Again this morning I get up ok an hour later I'm so jittery it's so discouraging. I'm now getting my doses done through the compound pharmacy so I know that will be correct but I don't think that's the problem. I just want the jitters to stop. I know I should stop complaining I created this mess.

  3. #123
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Today I'm feeling better but really depressed is that normal ? And is here anything I can do about it? Thanks for your help
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  4. #124
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    Today I'm feeling better but really depressed is that normal ? And is here anything I can do about it? Thanks for your help
    Yes, Judy. Feeling blue or depressed is very typical. Do you go to meetings or therapy? This is one of the things that the support in meetings will help with. Please don't poo poo it. Most of us resist meetings because we still want to believe that recovery is dictated by a strong will power and self control. Not so much. Being able to listen to others who are in recovery and at some point sharing your story is a huge unburdening. Believe me. I know how scary the thought of going into a meeting is but it's only scary the first time. Once you're able to open up to someone, I can't even begin to describe how much better you're going to feel. Thankfully, the days are gone that addiction is kept a deep dark secret because that's what has kept so many sick for so long. This perhaps is one of the things that will help to lift you out of that depression.

    The other thing you can do is to move! Go for a brisk walk and get that blood flowing. Do you have ear buds? Find some good music and get out and walk. If the weather isn't great, join a gym and try to get a solid half hour on the tread mill or other cardio machine. How about an indoor track? Our school has one and it's free. This may sound hokey but there's sound science behind exercise being one of the best things for depression and it's one of the best things you can do to get your brain to fire those endorphins that are necessary for a good mood.

    Whenever the sun is out, throw open the curtains and get outside. Do you like to garden? It's so relaxing and good exercise too. This is the time of year to enjoy the outdoors. There's many things you can find to do so think about it and get 'er moving.

    Peace,

    Cat

  5. #125
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I am going to start getting out and doing more I've been so sick the last 5 months I could hardly eat let alone go out and do anything. Now that I know more and feel better on some days I'm going get out and walk on the days I feel better.Again thank you for all your help.
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  6. #126
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I'm just lying here reading posts from others when they stopped the subs and it's really making me scared. I've already been so sick just tapering down to where I am now which is still a high amount this week I taper into the 2 mags.

  7. #127
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Judy, your doing amazing...
    Live in the moment worry about tomorrow... Tomorrow...
    Stay the course life clean is amazing... Learn and grow from the pain.
    You are strong I know this kicking the methadone is such a great accomplishment keep going you are almost there. Be proud of yourself I am...
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  8. #128
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I know , thank you I just get scared because I'm having such a hard time detoxing with the Subutex and I thought i would wait at least a year before I tapered off of it but after everything I read that is not what I'm going to do it will be a lot sooner
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  9. #129
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    It seems like I stopped the methadone every thing that could be wrong with phycially is.i know everyone says I'm doing so good but I'm not, I feel so bad I don't how much longer I can do this.

  10. #130
    Ethanboyle is offline New Member
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    2nd month @2mg x day klono...
    We will see july/AUG 1.5
    nov 1mg
    march .5mg

    the rest who knows lol

  11. #131
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Wrong person

  12. #132
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Judy,

    I'm sorry that you continue to feel badly and are struggling so much. You have to believe just how well you're doing because you are! If that weren't true, there would be absolutely no point in any of us telling you that. Instead, we'd be wringing our hands trying to throw out suggestions for things you might try to make things a little better.

    I think there's little doubt that you are feeling poorly. We believe you!! The most important piece right now is that you are adjusting. Not only to the sub and continually lowering your dose, but adjusting to life without a pill bottle, without methadone, without our most valued aid in dealing with life. This is the piece that is truly the hardest part of all and the first step is to recognize that. Absolutely we all feel every single thing that ever bothered us physically and it's all amplified. None of us get to escape that. I'm sure at some point you have tried to just stop taking your drug of choice. Remember how that felt? Is this worse or better? Probably a little of each. I know for me, when I was detoxing cold turkey there was not way I wanted or was able to do much of anything except to get through the next minute let alone go to work and although that only lasted for five days, the real battle then began. I too felt every ache, I had no energy and it was easy to wonder if it was all worth it. One way or the other, I was determined to see if it was. Of course it was and it will be for you too.

    I don't know what to suggest to you and I don't want to over simplify this mental process but somehow, some way, you have got to find things that will begin to give you a more positive outlook. Remember that this is a journey and you are living one of the times that are really difficult. This IS going to get better and one of the things that you can do to help it along is to find a way to have a positive outlook. If it were easy, none of us would be here because it wouldn't be a problem. It's hard! I know it's hard but unfortunately, there just isn't a simple or easy way to get to where we need to be.

    In spite of what so many people can't even do, you DID make the switch to subs and you can get through the rest of this too. Be kind to yourself and begin to do whatever it takes to get your focus off of your taper and onto all the beauty that life has to offer to you. It's there.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  13. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    It seems like I stopped the methadone every thing that could be wrong with phycially is.i know everyone says I'm doing so good but I'm not, I feel so bad I don't how much longer I can do this.
    I'm sorry you're not doing well. Can you tell us why you are continuing to taper at this point? It's a genuine question because I want to understand your thinking on this. I'm confused.

  14. #134
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Judy, Not to much more I can add to Cat's post its spot on.
    How much longer can you do this? Well that's up to you I know for me I wanted off the garbage more than anything. I went through hell and out the other side. Yes I know it seems like you just can't keep going on but you can if you want this. Believe and trust in the process it works there are so many success stories here. We have been where you are at you just have to keep pushing through the rough days it will get better I promise you. If this was easy we wouldn't have ended up on this forum eh. Addiction is an awful disease but we can and do recover. Have you looked into getting face to face support? I promise you it will help you one addict helping another. We can not do this alone, we don't have to.
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  15. #135
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Thank you guys,I am going to keep going, I'm at work and today has not been terrible and I'm going to remember everything you guys keep saying ,if it wasn't for you guys telling me I'm doing good I wouldn't believe I was.
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  16. #136
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Judy checking to see how you are doing today...

  17. #137
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I had a good morning then a couple hours ago I started shaking and the anixety started and I felt sick again. I had to leave work because I didn't feel good. I don't why I can go for a few days and I'm sick again. Today was the first day in a long time that I felt good but again I felt sick but not as sick as I have been feeling. I hoping this is a sign of things to come. It's sunny outside and in the seventies outside and I don't want to think life is passing me by
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  18. #138
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Today has been a bad day I couldn't go to work. I'm shaking inside and I feel so nervous it's hard to walk. I can't eat, I feel like my head is all fuzzy, I feel like i have to have my husband or my daughter with me all the time-which is terrible for both of them all I do is complain all the time. I know it's my own fault I just want to give up.

  19. #139
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I having such a bad day again I don't know if this makes a difference I take half of the Subutex at 5pm and the other half at 5 or 6 am when I get up would that make a difference on how I would feel? I don't know if I asked this before. I think I'm just have all these issues until I get off the Subutex. One day I will feel okay and think I will do good and the 2 or 3 days I will be sick and it's frustrating .

  20. #140
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I am having one of the worst days I've had in a long time. It just seems like I getting worse and no one can figure it out. The only thing I can think of is now the Subutex is being compounded and before I was measuring it and this time a dropped a little more then 25 percent. It seems like I'm the only one I've read about that keeps being sick all the time.
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  21. #141
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    I am having one of the worst days I've had in a long time. It just seems like I getting worse and no one can figure it out. The only thing I can think of is now the Subutex is being compounded and before I was measuring it and this time a dropped a little more then 25 percent. It seems like I'm the only one I've read about that keeps being sick all the time.
    No, Judy. There are have others who had a tough time. Have you read Uncle Leo's thread? He had quite the time but the good news is that he finished his taper and has over a year clean now. Another is Ming. Ming is doing wonderfully now and has well over a year, maybe even over two years clean now. You can get through this. You really can.

    If you're not feeling well again because your drop was too much, hang in there and you will stabilize. It just might take a little longer.

    Peace,

    Cat

  22. #142
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    Thank you for always answering, I know I need to help myself now I just sit in the house and watch t.v because I feel so sick and I don't eat right or drink water . I haven't gone to any meetings yet or work because i so sick. I'm hoping when I tapering lower I will feel better so I can start doing all these things.
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  23. #143
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    How would I find Uncle Leo's thread?

  24. #144
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I found both of their threads and it made me feel so much better knowing this is normal. I get really really down and feel like I'm not going to ever feel good again and I have so far to go still. But now I realize I've gone from doing 20 years of methadone daily and going from 18mg of Subutex to 3 mg I should be grateful . Thank you for all your help you always response back

  25. #145
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judy3755 View Post
    Thank you for always answering, I know I need to help myself now I just sit in the house and watch t.v because I feel so sick and I don't eat right or drink water . I haven't gone to any meetings yet or work because i so sick. I'm hoping when I tapering lower I will feel better so I can start doing all these things.
    I understand that you don't feel good but try to force yourself to do these things because they're going to help. Fluids is soooo important. If you're not drinking enough, that is probably part of the problem. Subs tend to dehydrate you and the symptoms of dehydration mimic detox symptoms so that makes perfect sense! Drink, drink, drink! Plain water, Gatorade, juice, it doesn't matter just drink. Get out to a meeting and do anything because it's going to help you mentally.There's something about going to a meeting that will lift your mood and refortify your commitment. It's only hard the first time because you don't know what to expect. Sitting in the house will only give you plenty of time to focus on how you're feeling making everything worse. As far as eating, I get it but you've got to try. Make protein shakes. I used almond milk, a little raw honey, berries, banana, protein powder, and ice cubes. Throw that all into a blender and you'll have a yummy smoothie. You can get protein powder at any grocery store, Walmart, the pharmacy, etc.

    Get up and moving. I know it's hard but it doesn't have to be a marathon. Thankfully, the weather is beginning to change so get outside and just walk around the yard. It'll get easier. Maybe try to put some effort into creating some new habits that you can carry into sobriety. I hate, I mean HATE exercise but I forced myself in the beginning and now it is just a part of my routine. Do I now love it? No so much but I find that once I put my walking shoes on and get out the door it makes me feel so much better. At first I walked to the end of the driveway and back a couple of times. Then I walked to the end of the street. Eventually I got myself up to walking almost 5 miles a day! I still find myself making excuses to not go but I know that once I'm out the door I enjoy it. Did I say I enjoy it? So weird.

    Peace,

    Cat

  26. #146
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    What is the easiest way to find someone thread? Thank you

  27. #147
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I'm going shopping tomorrow for stuff to start making smoothies . Since I stopped the methadone I found out I have peripheral neuropathy it's hard to walk it feels like I'm walking on sand all the time I didn't have it before and I don't know why I have it's terrible all of this and being sick from the Subutex is like being in a nightmare. I went to my Subutex doctor today and told her I want to taper down 10 percent every two weeks instead of 25 percent so I don't get as sick, she said of all the patients she has treated none of them reacted to Subutex like I have. But reading the treads you said to read I find it hard to believe her.

  28. #148
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    Judy-

    You are getting an enormous amount of awesome advice. Unfortunately most of us who turned to subs have all faced a reality that teaches us far more than the idiots prescribing them. They are greedy scumbags that primarily view this "maintenance " drug as a profit center.

    It outrages me (and I'm sure many others) they are able to recklessly over prescribe.
    All the while operating under the guise they provide a real solution.


    Such a fraud being committed to us addicts.

    There isn't a human being alive that needs the incredible amounts of dosage these "doctors" prescribe,


    Tackling the mountain can seem overwhelming but rest assured you CAN achieve abstinence. This dependency can be arrested. Faith, positive thinking and a determined resolve will give you all the tools you need to be free.

    I'm not one to provide precise dosing but both Randy and Cat know their stuff. Follow their advice and keep a positive attitude.

    Colin Powell once said "Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier".

    I very much believe that.

    Be good to yourself and rest assured everyone on this site is determined to ensure none of us never have to use again.

    Please continue to post!


    God bless you.
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  29. #149
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    For the third night I couldn't sleep, haven had a bowel movement in a week , has been that way since I started the Subutex just want to give up on everything . I just read uncle leo thread all the way and it really makes me want to give up more, he sounds exactly how I feel and it took him months of pain to get off of this . I don't think I can do it

  30. #150
    Judy3755 is offline Member
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    I'm sorry to be so negative but I'm so depressed. It's hard to do anything when your so bumed out. It's so hard being so sick for so long, I tapered down for a whole year from the methadone ( sick the whole time because I didn't know what I was doing and didn't know the tapering was making me sick) then I went on Subutex (not knowing how bad it is) I was so dumb about all of this, my Subutex doctor didn't tell me anything except it would help me and I would need to be on it for a year. So now it's been six months of hell and last month I found this forum which gave me information but it's going to be another 6 months before I can taper down off of it. Yes I tapered down on my own from 12 mg to 3 .3 mg but it seems I have so far to go and for whatever reason I'm one of the people who has been sick the whole time and will be sicker the more I taper ,I really don't think I can make it another six months of my life. I'm too old help!!! I don't drive no meetings close to walk to,
    Last edited by Anonymous; 04-21-2018 at 03:02 PM.

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