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I'm jumping at 40-60
  1. #1
    Mikeski91 is offline Junior Member
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    Aug 2016
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    Default I'm jumping at 40-60

    Ive been on percocets for a year now. Starting at 30 mg and Jumped to 60. Highs of 90mg a day but not often. For the last 2 weeks or so I've been on 20-50mg of oxy a day. Honestly, I take them just so I know I can sleep. I suffer from depression also and being awake 24 7 just doesn't sit well with me. But it's time I leave this demon alone. I've lost practically everything and found myself doing things out of my character to get them. It's a Love Hate relationship. I really need the support. This is like my 7th time trying to go cold turkey. Weaning isn't going to work. I've tried. But truthfully I can't even see life without these things. I know it's hurting me but when I'm sober I feel like I'm a die lol its a real mental thing for me. The physical symptoms aren't to bad to me. But I've also never made it past 45 hours ct. I was at 40 hours once and broke down crying out of nowhere over something that I usually won't be worried about. I'm not used to feeling anything anymore. I just wanna be normal again. I can't save a dollar because of this addiction. Please any advice and support would be appreciated. Also TIME. It goes soooooo slow when I'm sober. I don't know what to do with myself sober. This addiction has taken EVERYTHING. I'm one of the ones who've hit rock bottom.l and now I want out but found out it wasn't just that easy.
    Catrina likes this.

  2. #2
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikeski91 View Post
    Ive been on percocets for a year now. Starting at 30 mg and Jumped to 60. Highs of 90mg a day but not often. For the last 2 weeks or so I've been on 20-50mg of oxy a day. Honestly, I take them just so I know I can sleep. I suffer from depression also and being awake 24 7 just doesn't sit well with me. But it's time I leave this demon alone. I've lost practically everything and found myself doing things out of my character to get them. It's a Love Hate relationship. I really need the support. This is like my 7th time trying to go cold turkey. Weaning isn't going to work. I've tried. But truthfully I can't even see life without these things. I know it's hurting me but when I'm sober I feel like I'm a die lol its a real mental thing for me. The physical symptoms aren't to bad to me. But I've also never made it past 45 hours ct. I was at 40 hours once and broke down crying out of nowhere over something that I usually won't be worried about. I'm not used to feeling anything anymore. I just wanna be normal again. I can't save a dollar because of this addiction. Please any advice and support would be appreciated. Also TIME. It goes soooooo slow when I'm sober. I don't know what to do with myself sober. This addiction has taken EVERYTHING. I'm one of the ones who've hit rock bottom.l and now I want out but found out it wasn't just that easy.
    Welcome,

    You're right. This ain't easy. It is doable though. I won't bore you with my story just know it was years and years (like almost 20) of insane amounts of pills. You can imagine the devastation I created. I can't even count the attempts at tapering (not me--I gobble) and cold turkey only to relapse most times before I ever completed detox and sometimes after a week or two or even a month after detox but relapse I did. Over and over.

    You know the drill and there's no short cut. If you don't get terrible physical symptoms count yourself lucky because if you keep going, you WILL. That's a guarantee. BUT you are also right. The mental part can be exhausting because it just lasts longer. What works? Support, determination, and change. Change everything! Are you married? Do your friends use? Obviously some things are easier to change than others. When boredom hits, get busy. Do anything but for me that meant getting out of the house and out of my head. I'd take a ride in the car with the radio blasting. I'd go into the office just to be around people and take my mind off things. I'd spend hours upon hours reading here in the wee small hours of the night when I couldn't sleep. ANYTHING to get my mind thinking of something else.

    Cravings can be intense in the beginning and perhaps the one thing that will sabotage the most determined. Expect them, accept them for what they are and fight them. They will become less intense and then less frequent until they are hardly a bother at all.

    I hope you do this. I don't know you but the one thing I know for sure is that your situation isn't going to get better on its own. I, my friend have been there and you don't want this to be a problem 20 years from now. It never gets better on it's own. Take back control.

    Peace,

    Cat

  3. #3
    Mikeski91 is offline Junior Member
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    Aug 2016
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    Default

    I appreciate your reply. I failed at ct. Again. I took a 10mg today. And honestly I'm surprised how much I've felt it. I look at it as a good thing knowing that my tolerance is dropping. 20mg usually doesn't do anything for me. But I plan on changing my surroundings completely. My friends are Marijuana smokers. I may try that to help with the anxiety. I can't go on with this thing. I couldn't imagine 20 years. The way this last year has been I'll probably die way before I reach 20 years.

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