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I've Been Through the Worst.. But I'll Always Give My Best
  1. #1
    ICanDoIt310 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015

    Default I've Been Through the Worst.. But I'll Always Give My Best

    I've never typed what I'm going through - or even my thoughts.

    Tonight I looked at my wrist for the first time, and that's not my brain.

    I'm a 28 year old female sales hot shot. My grandma, double knee surgery, my mother, double knee surgery (twice) and then me, double knee surgery. We are tall, statuesque - I started with vics, norcos, etc before 20. I was a statue put on a pedestal by my single mother to fix all my "family's" problems. Moved to downers, like alcohol and weed but found an affection for meth @ 17. Kicked it and have been sober for 11 years! Did coke and kicked that five years ago. When I was diagnosed with my hereditary knee issues, prescription meds was the furthest from my mind - I've already overcome so much!

    I get more than 200 pills every couple of weeks (5 mg oxy) and I will take them, but I have ran out early and again 2 days ago... but my physical withdrawal: I am miserable for a couple of days - it is the mental, the desperation to find an alternative state of mind that drives me back to the refill.

    Has anyone experienced this? Of course the physical withdrawal is hell, but I've done it 5 or 6 times and am doing it again but my head always gets in the way. I use Kaiser so every doctor knows what every other doctor knows....

    Still smiling (forcibly, but a smile none-the-less) but curious what you have to say... (oh and warm/hot baths, Imodium, and alcohol (minus depressive wine thoughts) seem to aid this.

    Thanks, appreciate it (even the criticism).

  2. #2
    Marvathree is offline Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015


    Gabapentin helped me greatly but u need a script. Vitamins b12 and multi. Keeping you mind busy is the most important. Best of luck to you. You likely need to find out what is really bothering you and resolve it. What are the pills numbing

  3. #3
    sd8899 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    May 2010


    I will be starting day 3 in 13.5 hours. I hope it's going better for you. I'm done with these pills. I had no idea how bad they were for you until I started researching them. Good luck and hope you have a good night.

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