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My first day of my new life!!!
  1. #1
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Default My first day of my new life!!!

    I got on here today and read a ton. I starting tapering down the first of last week and yesterday was my first full day of no Oxycodone. I have been in a pain management program for 8 years. Recently I started feeling so guilty about taking these pills I was tired of feeling judged. I followed my rx and all the rules but I felt like the pills were getting too important in my life and I was noticing I wasn’t as social as I used to be. I have tried to stop before but couldn’t seem to do it. I have been seeing a chiropractor who hasn’t helped me so much with my back pain and I just don’t want poison in my body anymore. I have been in many different doses of oxycodone but for the last few months I have been taking 5 mg 4x day because I planned on stopping. I feel fatigued today and my blood pressure was super high. Pain doc sent me to my family doctor and he put me on blood pressure meds for two weeks. He figures the high B.P. Is just from dependence if the opiate. I have been drinking passionflower tea and taking some passionflower pills. I had an rx that I could have filled on 2/4 but I am so dedicated to stopping that I took it back to pain doc just so I wouldn’t be tempted to get filled and start this withdrawal >>>> all over. I know there are people who have it much worse but I still need some support. I just feel uneasy and like I’m missing something. Last night I had RLS and couldn’t sleep. I’m gonna get this out of my body and live a good life.
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  2. #2
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey Mimi. Welcome to the forums. I see you figured out how to start your own thread. Congratulations on day 1!! First big step. Have you seen the Thomas recipe for opiate withdrawal? I can't drop a link but I know you can Google it. Everything there will help you through this process. Minus the benzos, unless you're already taking them under a doctor's supervision. They're highly addictive and you don't want to go trading one for the other.

    This place is amazing and everyone will give you unconditional support and no judgements here. Ask as many questions as you need to. Let it all out. It really helps!!

    Keep posting even if it's to just whine. Let us know how its going. We're really good listeners.

    Congratulations and welcome.
    Hope you have a great day!!
    Beef
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  3. #3
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Hey Mama, welcome to the forums! First off, GOOD on you for wanting to take your life back. Trust me, taking your script back to the doctors so you wouldn't have the temptation is a HUGE accomplishment! I think one of the hardest things I did when I made the jump is to cancel all my upcoming doctors visits so I wouldn't even have the options of getting more pills. Shows how dedicated you really are to doing this.

    One thing that really helped me was the Thomas Recipe thread on here. I'll leave a link to it at the bottom of this post. Lot of good information on there about additional supplements etc. I would avoid taking the benzos if you're not already prescribed them, but other than that some great information.

    Lots of hot baths/showers can really help, as can making sure you stay hydrated. Lots of water, bananas, potassium supplements etc. It will probably be hard to eat the first few days, but anything you can get down will help as well.

    You've found the right place for some great support, so keep posting to let us know how you're doing. Don't be afraid to ask whatever you need to because we've all been through it. Just hang in there, and know you're not alone!

    https://www.drugs.com/forum/featured...ent-35169.html
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  4. #4
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Oh yeah. One thing that helps RLS is Hylands restful legs. Works for some, worth a shot. As Draven said it may be hard to eat for a few days. First week of my detox I lived on protein shakes. And Imodium, liquid form as directed. Trust me it will save you!!
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  5. #5
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks so much for messaging me back and for the link. I feel really positive then the next second scared as hell. I question myself and think I can’t do this. I have to tho. No turning back now. How do I post and update each day? Do I just do it from my thread?? ThAnks so much for the support.
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  6. #6
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks Beef. This makes me feel so not alone. I appreciate the support and all the caring. Got the Thomas recipe link from another person. Earlier I started feeling fatigued and a bit like craving so I took a ten minute walk. I am dreading going to bed tonight because I don’t want to toss and turn but I’m gonna stay positive. I have been sniffing grapefruit essential oil and it seems to help too. One day at a time.
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  7. #7
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    I have some highlands I think. How many do I take?
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  8. #8
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Just keep posting to this thread, as often as you want to. It helped me a lot to just get stuff out of my head, and if you keep posting to this thread then it's easier to follow your updates instead of starting new threads. As far as the Hyland's that Beef mentioned (good stuff) I'd just take what the bottle recommends. They make a few different products, so definitely worth using if you have them!
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  9. #9
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Another question. Do you all think that since I was on 5 mg and tapered down my withdrawals won’t be long or very bad??
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  10. #10
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks so much Draven. You have been so helpful. I am so glad I have a place to go and talk. I don’t want to feel alone. That’s a scary place. I can’t talk to my family about this. Thank you so much. Bless you.
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  11. #11
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    That's what we're all here for, is to support each other. Trust me, this place and all the people here saved my life, so just know you're not alone.

    As far as the tapers, hopefully it won't be too horrible jumping off the amount you last took. We all go through our withdrawals a bit differently because of metabolism etc. but also all go through many of the same symptoms. What amount did you taper down too?
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  12. #12
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    I would use 2-3 tablets a night. But I'm a big guy 6'8" 300 lbs. And I only used it as I needed it. Not every night. Like Draven said just follow the directions. You can't go wrong.

    As for your w/d. It's hard to say. People metabolize drugs differently. So I don't really want to give you an exact time frame. Ballparking it figure about a week of the physical stuff, symptoms peaking on days 2-4 and getting gradually better. Could be shorter, could be longer. Just take it one day at a time. Try not to look too far ahead. Stay positive and get excited!! You're taking your life back!!!

    I know I'm smiling!!!

    Beef

  13. #13
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    I was on 5 mg then I cut them in half ( the actual pills) and took for a week like that (the halves). Then I cut the halves in half and took for a week. Then lowered the number of halves I took per day. Got sick of messing with them and pitched them all.
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  14. #14
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    You are so encouraging. Thanks so much. God bless you.
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  15. #15
    DravenDomnq is offline Advanced Member
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    Hopefully ending up at that low of a dose it won't be too horrible for you. Seems like you had gotten down to 1.25mg per dose, so sounds like you did a great job tapering down to about as low of a dose as possible before making the jump. Like Beef said, just stay positive and keep looking forward to the next day clean!!
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  16. #16
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks Draven. One day at a time!!!
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  17. #17
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Well it’s 9:21 and I was hoping to hit the sack and get some sleep since I tossed and turned all last night. Of course I’m staring at the ceiling with dread of another sleepless night. Even with that as I lay here I feel empowered and proud that I have made this decision. I’m so grateful I decided to get on here and meet some people and get some encouragement. For the longest time I have felt so alone. I can do this!!!

  18. #18
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Advanced Member
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    Sleep is unfortunately one of the last things to balance out. Grrrrr. It took me about a month ish to get some kind of steady sleep. But I jumped from suboxone and didn't taper as low as I should have. The main thing I can tell you about that is just take the sleep as it comes. Don't watch the clock. It'll drive you crazy. Grab a good book, or get caught up on Netflix if you can't sleep. It takes some time. We didn't get here in a day. It's gonna take time to heal. Just keep on it. One day at a time.

    You got this!!
    Beef

  19. #19
    Maxheadrum is offline Member
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    Mama-

    Looks like im behind the curve!

    You have already decided some
    Very important things. As Draven and Beef have said, dumping that prescription was HUGE!

    I can tell you this, I humped a full 60 pound ruck sack for 3 years in the army that busted my back. Enter the pain meds.

    Since I've stopped using, I've found that my back pain is actually nearly non existent. I did some hard core reading as to why and discovered that synthetic opioids actually CAUSE more back pain than without them.
    These doctors are all whacks thinking we need a foreign substance in our bodies to feel better. Real truth is most of us don't.

    I know these first few days suck to
    The high heavens, but trust the advice and trust in your own willpower. You are far more capable to slay this beast than you know.

    As Beef says, you are exactly where you need to be.

    Hoping tomorrow is better for you!

  20. #20
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Default No Turning Back

    Hi Mini

    Your my new taper hero!! You started to pull the band aide off slowly & in the end you just ripped that sucker off. Big Congrats on that & your Day 1.

    Even though I know it doesn't feel like it but your off to an amazing start. Just keep pushing yourself to keep stepping forward. Physically it feels just like the flu & like the others said it comes on slowly, peaks & the you recover. It's all mind over matter thou- if you dwell on the symptoms they'll only get worse. If you keep yourself occupied they're more bearable.

    My 2 cents as far as detox.

    GNC sells an All Cleanse supplement. Tried & true for testing purposes. I used them to rid the toxins for a couple few days- as directed. Also, the other vitamins from the Thomas Recipe are extremely beneficial.

    Heating Pad for RLS. I used a rice sock. The added weight of the rice kept them still. I would also place a rice sock on my chest for the anxiety & racing heart. Very calming.

    Sleeping- I don't have solid advice other than accept it & make the most of it. It will return once your body & mind realign. I watched anything that held my interest &/or made me laugh. I also to a go at meditation & now swear by it.

    You're off to a good start so get it moving forward. Just by being here you are inspiring & encouraging next one. This will be over before you know it & then you can look back at the miracle that just happened. Thank you for allowing us to witness this miracle unfold in front of our eyes!

    Much Luv & Respect,

    ❤️
    Che

  21. #21
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks so much Beef. It was after 4 am when I finally got some zzz. Has to be up at 6:30. I appreciate the encouragement. Day 2..... yeah!!!!

  22. #22
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Che that was so nice of you. Not feeling like much of a hero right now but if it helps someone I’m glad. I agree mind over matter. If I dwell it’s nit gonna make it better. I am gonna go get that detox from gnc you recommended. I woke this am tired and agitated and asking myself what the hell was I thinking but after your encouraging words I feel confident and empowered. Thanks so so much. I can do this. I will do this. Day 2...I’m gonna kick butt!!!!!

  23. #23
    RightTurn33 is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaMimi18 View Post
    I got on here today and read a ton. I starting tapering down the first of last week and yesterday was my first full day of no Oxycodone. I have been in a pain management program for 8 years. Recently I started feeling so guilty about taking these pills I was tired of feeling judged. I followed my rx and all the rules but I felt like the pills were getting too important in my life and I was noticing I wasn’t as social as I used to be. I have tried to stop before but couldn’t seem to do it. I have been seeing a chiropractor who hasn’t helped me so much with my back pain and I just don’t want poison in my body anymore. I have been in many different doses of oxycodone but for the last few months I have been taking 5 mg 4x day because I planned on stopping. I feel fatigued today and my blood pressure was super high. Pain doc sent me to my family doctor and he put me on blood pressure meds for two weeks. He figures the high B.P. Is just from dependence if the opiate. I have been drinking passionflower tea and taking some passionflower pills. I had an rx that I could have filled on 2/4 but I am so dedicated to stopping that I took it back to pain doc just so I wouldn’t be tempted to get filled and start this withdrawal >>>> all over. I know there are people who have it much worse but I still need some support. I just feel uneasy and like I’m missing something. Last night I had RLS and couldn’t sleep. I’m gonna get this out of my body and live a good life.
    Same deal here - pain management for 10 yrs, 4 pain meds, jumped from 27.5 mg oxycodone on Dec 29th. Honesty - the secondary withdrawal symptoms have been challenging. The neurotransmitters in our brains need to replenish and rebalance after years of being suppressed by daily opioid use. And it's a process and includes as symptoms: anxiety, restlessness, RLS, insomnia, depression, loss of interest in ordinary daily activities, cold sweats and chills. I'm having to learn who I am again, after having been fairly functional and stable as a pain patient with a spinal cord stimulator (not that that is pleasant either).

    This is a process. The symptoms and recovery are similar for everyone. There's individuality as to severity and length of the healing process. You will have not so bad days / bad days in the beginning. And as the days and weeks go by you'll transition to a better realm of daily functioning/existence.

    Congratulation for making a tough and rewarding decision - it is the correct choice. Be determined . You are going to have a great, drug-free life.

  24. #24
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks Right Turn. This has been rough today. Can’t seem to get motivated. Did take my herbs and forced myself to eat some protein. Gonna go soak in the tub which helps. I know tapering down like I did has made these withdrawals way more manageable. I just am an impatient person and want to feel good soon. We go out of state Thursday and I’m a bit nervous. Maybe the distraction will be beneficial. One day at a time. I have been finding this forum and the people on here so helpful. When it’s rough I can get on here and always get encouraging words. I am so appreciative of that. Good luck to you too.

  25. #25
    10years39days is offline Member
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    Mama - on Thursday you'll be on day 4. It's hard to say exactly how you'll be feeling when you go out of state. Just keep on taking care of yourself. You are definitely on the right track.

    Does any of your family know what's going on?

  26. #26
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Welcome!

    I thought I had left a post for you earlier but I guess it didn't stick. I just want to welcome you and to congratulate you on making the decision you have already made and implemented--to take your life back. Here we go and best wishes.

    I think it's a great thing that you'll be leaving Town on Thursday. Yes. It'll be Day 4 and you probably won't be through your detox yet but you'll be close. This is going to sound weird but it's my truth so I'm going to say it. As tough as these first 5 days of detox are, we always believe that so long as we can get past that we'll have it in the bag and never look back. This just isn't the reality, I'm sorry to say. I've had way too much practice at cold turkey detox and relapsing but in this process I've learned the drill pretty well.

    After all of the acute physical symptoms pass, usually around days 5 or 6, you will be left tired and flat and likely continue to have trouble sleeping for a bit longer. Weeks three and four were always the most challenging for me and when I'd find myself completely absorbed with finding a way to feel better if only for a day. Oh I'd find it alright. I'd find a way to lay my hands on just a few pills telling myself that I'd jump back on board after a brief respite. Never happened and I'd talk myself right back into just one more day of that brief respite until it was months or years before I'd attempt recovery again. These couple of weeks post acute detox can be tough and I personally think the very best thing for you on Day 4 is to get out of Dodge where it becomes harder to change your mind and go begging for that script back. Once you get past these first three weeks or so, your sleep will begin to get much better, you'll be eating better, and your energy will be returning. The end of this isn't as physical as it is mental and can be harder than the physical. This is not to discourage you or to scare you but to make you aware that once this first week has passed things will be much, much better but nonetheless challenging. You can do it. I know you can. Take it just one minute, one hour, one day at a time. Don't look too far down the road because it can be intimidating. Your job is to just get through today and the rest will fall into place.

    Peace,

    Cat

  27. #27
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks so much Cat. Today has been a struggle I will admit. I just pushed thru. Went and got an ice cream cone and got a foot massage. Which was amazing. Gonna treat myself to things I enjoy. I am glad I’m going out of town too. I think I will be distracted and not to obsessed with these >>>>ty feelings I have. I also went to gnc and got some supplements to help me get thru this. I have played with my dogs which really helps. I am gonna take one day at time. I won’t ever be tempted to beg that script back. For one I talked to my pain doctor and he’s not gonna give it back. He’s the only one in town too. I have never bought pills off the street and I won’t ever. I’m gonna do this. Thanks for all your advice and input. I love this forum. I have had so many people help me on this difficult journey.

  28. #28
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    No my family doesn’t know anything and I’m keeping it that way 10.

  29. #29
    Wavision is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaMimi18 View Post
    No my family doesn’t know anything and I’m keeping it that way 10.
    I'm in the same boat...no one in my family knows. Not even my fiance who I live with. I really hope I'm able to get through this without her finding out. I just want to get through it and put this behind me for good.

  30. #30
    MamaMimi18 is offline Junior Member
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    I’ll help you Wavision. We can help each other. I feel really good right now but I’ll tell ya what In 15 minutes it can change. It’s good to keep busy and not dwell on it. My husband would be supportive but he’s a very busy man and I don’t want to stress him out over something he cannot possibly understand. Seems senseless to worry him. Getting support on this forum is better because people understand on here.

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