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My story
  1. #61
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Beef I am having wds anyway just not horrible. The biggest complaint I have is the headache, foggy brain and cravings. So far I've held strong. I have only taken 10mg ar about 6am and then about 3pm.

    Although I will say that the constant stomach pain is irritating too.

  2. #62
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    Liquid Imodium. It'll save you!!! Take it as directed and needed

  3. #63
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longgone2008 View Post
    Cat do you think with the tapering it wont be as bad? I know I'm hoping for a miracle here but I was reading about some other opiate taperes and they seemed somewhat manageable >>. What I went through before.

    I've been reading about the Thomas recipe again and trying to prepare myself as much as possible.

    I also have a lot of anxiety with the way this sub doctor works. I am thankful that I couldn't get in right away because at the time I called I was desperate but I am really concerned that they work out of their home and I have to buy and bring in a drug test kit from the store.
    We can hope. All I can do is share my own experience where cold turkey is concerned. When I jumped from 200+mg per day, I won't lie. Day 1, I was a mess but it was mostly fear that had me paralyzed. The physical symptoms as the day wore on began to appear and peaked at about 12 hours from my last dose. Days 2,3 and 4 were the worst of it with all symptoms, aches, rls, bathroom issues, weak, the whole nine yards. On Day 5, the aches and rls was gone. The other symptoms hung on for a bit more. When I've jumped from 40-60mg, I was totally able to function thru it. I had bathroom issues and some weakness, loss of appetite. NO rls (thank God!). I didn't have much anxiety or cravings but I was committed so who knows. Same deal with the timeline.

    The tapering is obviously helping because that's why you've got some symptoms already. The stomach pain is the precursor for the bathroom issues to begin. Immodium helps but I wouldn't take it until you actually begin to have diarrhea. Let it happen because if you're like me, the first few events are a relief but after that yes begin the Immodium. Sorry it that's too much info.

    Keep us posted. We're going to buoy you up to get excited because this is exciting! Keep thinking that you are going to put this behind you. Think of the money you'll save. Think that you'll never be at the mercy of the pill holder. Think of the value of your self esteem. You know what kept me going? I knew that after 3 days, I would test clean. I have no idea why that became so important but it did. It wasn't like I had to do testing or anything. I just knew I wanted that! I thought about what if I died tonight at home. They'd do a toxicology test and my family would know I was using again. That scared me too. It may be morbid but that's also one of the things that keeps me clean to this day. I know that there are times that my family worries that I may be using again. I can tell when they look at me. Today, I don't care because I KNOW I'm not. I'm OK with that. They certainly deserve to be observant.

    Yikes I go off. Sorry.

    Peace,

    Cat

  4. #64
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    No. I think about that too. I think about testing positive and how much that will hurt my family. I think of my daughters and how I desperately want to be here for them.

    The past 2 years has been hell on them. My younger one asks why I'm always sick. I'm not there for her. Her life is so hard already and I keep disappointing her and she doesn't even know it.

    This interview, this job, everything is like a new start for us. I want to do it the right way. I just haven't functioned in so long. I have numbed myself to life.
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  5. #65
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longgone2008 View Post
    No. I think about that too. I think about testing positive and how much that will hurt my family. I think of my daughters and how I desperately want to be here for them.

    The past 2 years has been hell on them. My younger one asks why I'm always sick. I'm not there for her. Her life is so hard already and I keep disappointing her and she doesn't even know it.

    This interview, this job, everything is like a new start for us. I want to do it the right way. I just haven't functioned in so long. I have numbed myself to life.
    Hang on to all of that. It's these things that will keep us motivated. When a craving pops up, think of these things and ask yourself if they're worth it. Hope the answer is yes because they are. Anything worth having, especially if it's difficult, if worth the work and pain we put into it and this is certainly worth it. No more worrying that your family will know for sure. One last time being sick without an explanation. I get it. I totally hated it and I knew my family knew why I was sick. I was delusional to believe otherwise.

    Peace,

    Cat
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  6. #66
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    I think Beef was right. Today is rough.. I think I'm tapering too fast. Just have to get through Friday then I can be in misery without having to hide it at work.

    This sucks.

  7. #67
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Yep suks....
    You can do this....
    This too shall pass...

  8. #68
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longgone2008 View Post
    I think Beef was right. Today is rough.. I think I'm tapering too fast. Just have to get through Friday then I can be in misery without having to hide it at work.

    This sucks.
    I know it does and I'm sorry. What are your symptoms?

    Peace,

    Cat

  9. #69
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    You got this!! It's only temporary. Just think of what you have to look forward to. Take it one day at a time.
    OKC-26 and ForMe30 like this.

  10. #70
    ForMe30 is offline Member
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    Long, have you ever tried antidepressants or CBD? I haven’t read your whole post yet but we understand the despair you feel. You WILL feel better once you stop all opiates. I feel that Subs aren’t the way for you.

    Antidepressants and CBD saved my butt a few times. Now I take DLPA along with other vitamins and it helps...more than I thought it would. I’m starting to get my natural energy back....I can actually do 3?loads of laundry and make dinner and play with my kid and go to work and clean and all those daily tasks WITHOUT opiates.
    2things I’ve been taught in these forums:
    Nothing changes if nothing changes and this journey is a process not an event. That something that has to change is not taking pills and the rest will fall in place.
    It takes patience.
    You can do this ❤️

  11. #71
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Sorry I've been quiet. It's been a bust few days. I dosed up for my interview. So Thursday and Friday (yesterday) I honestly went a little overboard on Friday and was horribly anxious all night. Felt like I was ODing, stress, anxiety and shaking. Scared the >>>> out of me.

    So I am 11 hours clean right now. Feel like crud almost hung over and that's not even the start of the wds.
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  12. #72
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    It's been an ok day. I know I am only day 1. Not even 24 hours. I cannot believe how tired i am. I haven't slept unassisted by sleep meds for over 2 years and even then i dont sleep. Today has been sleep, eat, TV and repeat. I have slept so much today. I still want to sleep.

    Hubby doesn't know what's going on either. I just hope i can get through this with as little wds as possible.

    It's good the kids are gone. It helps that it's hot out. It sucks that memorial day weekend is me trying to survive.
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  13. #73
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    With 24 hours behind you, you are nearly at the point where your symptoms are as bad as they're going to get. So, if it's bearable, then I'm guessing that this entire detox might be bearable. That's good news anyway. The lethargy can be a killer though especially when we're trying to act as "normal" as possible. It's not that it's horrible in itself, it's just that we sort of expect things to peak and then gradually get better but that was never the case with me anyway. My symptoms would peak and stay consistent until Day 5. Then again, I was taking multiple times more per day than you so my fingers are crossed that you get some relief sooner than those five days. Prepare for the worst and if it's not, then that will be a happy surprise.

    At some point, all that sleep that you're enjoying(?) today is probably going to become elusive but you know that. I bring it up now only because my inability to sleep was the number one reason I'd relapse. It stinks but it will get better. Do your best to stay away from any prescription sleep aids and instead try Valarian Root, Melatonin, and/or Sleepy Time Tea. It'll be worth it in the end when you'll finally be able to sleep without drugging yourself out

    How'd the interview go? Hope you get some positive results!! You can begin to look forward to a clean slate. New position and you'll be squeaky clean. How great will that be?

    Post, post, post!!! it'll likely be slow around here because not only is it the weekend when it can be dreadfully slow, but it's a holiday weekend on top of it. I expect to be around and I'll try to check in on you regularly.

    Peace,

    Cat

  14. #74
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Thanks cat. Dont feel the best in my skin today but I am going to try to push through it. The "dont wannas" are really tough today.
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  15. #75
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Your doing great..
    It's just a feeling...
    "this too shall pass"
    Keep pushing....

  16. #76
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Does the temp thing go away fairly quickly? I can't remember. Its 90 and I'm freezing.

  17. #77
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Everyone is different...
    You sound pretty good eh?
    My suggestion put a sweater on lol...
    This too shall pass... I promise you....
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  18. #78
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Honestly I've been better than any withdrawl I've gone through before. I can basically function. I am really depressed but no major symptoms. I've been sleeping a lot, foggy brain, hot and cold, slight tremors. Lots of weakness. We are on our way to a get together and I just about fainted getting ready to leave. That was new and scary.
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  19. #79
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    I do keep thinking that 10mg will get me through this event but I dont want to do day 1 again or tempt fate.

  20. #80
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Keep doing what you are doing..
    You do not need more it's just the brain screaming for the Drugs...
    Stay positive you got this...

  21. #81
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Everything you are going through and feeling is all normal!!

  22. #82
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    I wont. I can't. I know I'm weak but I just can't do it. I feel like a baby animal. So unsure of myself so uneasy.

    I collapsed today. We were getting ready to head out to have dinner with friends and I started to black out. I caught myself and then my hubby caught me. I was fine afterward but it scared me.

  23. #83
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    You can you will!!
    Yes it's scary... Just our bodies trying to find balance... Than throw in anxiety and panic to the mix. Take a breath and know that this will pass...
    Beefaroni7272 likes this.

  24. #84
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    Yes you can do this!! We have depended on the junk for so long it is scary not to have that crutch to hold us up. But we don't need it. Stay the course. Eat healthy, stay hydrated. Take it one day, hour, minute at a time. Keep making forward progress. It does get better, and yes this too shall pass!!

    Keep posting, we are here for you!!
    Beef

  25. #85
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Longgone2008 View Post
    Honestly I've been better than any withdrawl I've gone through before. I can basically function. I am really depressed but no major symptoms. I've been sleeping a lot, foggy brain, hot and cold, slight tremors. Lots of weakness. We are on our way to a get together and I just about fainted getting ready to leave. That was new and scary.
    Are you remembering to hydrate? It's very easy to become dehydrated during detox and that will make you feel weak and like you're going to faint. The symptoms of dehydration closely mimic detox symptoms. You should have something close at hand to drink non-stop and just keep sipping. Vitamin fortified water or Gatorade will help to replenish the electrolytes that you're losing so drink up and then drink some more. It's so important.

    There is NO turning back. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but around five days total is a small price to pay to begin to have this all behind you. Do not give in and take anything to get a time out. Oh how I know how tempting that is but give in once and you just might get lost all over again. Needing some relief will be a constant for the next several days but the price is too great. You don't want to start this all over again. No way.

    Peace,

    Cat

    Peace

    Cat
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  26. #86
    Kanchan231 is offline New Member
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    I would say that I am an alcoholic, I start drinking when I was in college me and my friends always go to a bar every weekend even after school. We end up having a hangover when we were in class. Yes, it is a very enjoyable habit but one day when I'm about to go out to buy something in supermarket i feel something in my chest that i never felt before, maybe this is the consequences of my drinking. So, i went to a doctor and he told me to stop drinking and take some time to rest. He also recommends an alternative way to cure my illness. He suggests using a marijuana as a medicine.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 07-29-2018 at 11:14 PM.

  27. #87
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Thanks everyone. 2 days, 8 hours and 40 minutes. Almost can pass a urine test! Yay. Today feels like it might be a rough one. Cold, jittery, tired and sore. I've got the bugs crawling on me today. I hope that 4 and 5 are better since I work the rest of the week

    I also haven't had the bathroom incidents yet. Do you think that it's because I was tapering that it hasn't been as bad? Or do you think since I was using the extended release that the fun is just starting?

  28. #88
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Longgone...
    Yup everything is normal I promise
    Bathroom issues well yea don't stress worry or think about what you don't have thank God eh... You'll be just fine just think of it like a flu and in time this passes... I'm great at what if's But's and there all excuses I've been reminded... I can give you a ton of excuses of why I don't keep it simple I can complicate the chit out of everything... Live in the moment.. One day at a time... Worry about tomorrow Tomorrow....
    Have a wonderful day...

  29. #89
    Longgone2008 is offline Member
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    Can I ask how long PAWS lasted for ya'll? My depression is showing its ugly head today. Lots of crying. Lots of suicidal ideation. Just looking for somewhat of a timeframe.

  30. #90
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    What you're going through isn't PAWS. I made the same mistake. Right now you're in acute w/d. And you should expect the physical to last around a week, gradually getting better after day 4-5. From there you'll have some depression anxiety and lethargy mixed with spotty sleep. Roughly a week or so. But everyone heals differently. So it's not set in stone.

    PAWS is the reappearance of w/d symptoms weeks or months down the road after you've been feeling better. They are actually a lot less common than you think. From what I've read somewhere around 5% of people actually experience them. Some old symptom that pops up for a day or two, sometimes a bit longer. Then goes away. But don't focus on that now. Just work on today. Get through it and cross it off. Another clean day.

    Keep up the good work!!
    Beef

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