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  1. #31
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    It's all normal. Sleep is usually the last thing to balance out. It is no fun. First month I could count the nights I slept over 3 hours on one hand. It was so frustrating. Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!! Just know it gets better with time. Just take the sleep as it comes. I tried watching the clock to see how much sleep I got and it drove me crazy and just frustrated me further. You're doing amazing!!!! Keep up the good work!!!

    Beef

  2. #32
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    Well I believe that this is my 20 that day.... Crazy the first week I stay tracking those sober day now I really can't even keep up with them. Anywho preparing to go back to work can't wait really. I had some really bad news yesterday like life changing I did think grab a few pills and just forget about it. When I get upsetting news I get so anxious I will puke or get nauseated. Due to my anxiety disorder and I found out the pills help tremendously with that so much so I did give two hoots about anything, oh a shut off bill that's fine pop a couple oh my car being repoed ah pop a couple. Now I have to deal with problems head on and if my solution doesn't work then come up with another but I have to try I can't keep hiding. Eventhough I'm stressed to the max right I'm not folding was offered a script someone owed me but turn them down. It felt great cuz I know me well I thought I knew I surprised my damn self.
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  3. #33
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    I forgot to mention I feel great by the way. Eventhough life threw a wrench in the mix I know I will overcome. I got nauseated for awhile laid down until it passed. Then went on with the day. My mind still pretty jumbled but it's getting better and better every day. Wish me luck that I can turn everything around.

  4. #34
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    I know the feeling. Congratulations on not taking that script!! That's huge. You're doing amazing, and doing everything you need to do. Stay with it. It keeps getting better and better as you rack up those clean days. I'd say I stopped counting around day 40 ish. Just didn't seem that important to remind myself anymore. I knew what I was doing and felt great to be here. I do know that my sober anniversary is the 16th of every month. Progress, slow and steady. One at a time, take life as it comes to you!! So proud of you!! Glad you're feeling better. Keep us updated on your progress. Proud of you!!!

    Taking some time to meditate helped my stress and anxiety levels. Just found a quiet place and tuned everything out, just closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. Give it a try. What do you have to lose??

    Keep doing the next right thing!!
    Beef
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-06-2017 at 01:30 PM.
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  5. #35
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Hey Lady Luv-

    Please forgive but I just saw your "Amen" post to me!! The others must not of warned you about me- that might b/c I've snatched most of them & have them in my pocket. Keep it up & I'll have no other choice the to follow those Mt. Dew bottles all the way til I find you then it's into my pocket you'll go.

    Big Ups on turning down that script. That is HUGE!!!! Keep using those reflector bans Wonder Woman!!!

    Speaking of Mt Dew (2 thumbs down). I was never big on the H2O, I WAS a Pepsi girl myself. I gave it up the same time I gave up the pills. I'm a counter- counted every pill, everyday, every hour, & every minute- so it's been 188 days Pepsi free. I can testify that you will feel a difference without it. Water is definitely Life & gives you a clean feeling from the inside out. It will get everything cleaned out & flowing.

    Keep up on that meditation also. I wasn't a believer until I found myself with nothing else to believe in. For me it started with the Law of Attraction. From there I progressed to Chakras, then I found meditation. I love that it helped you dodge a curve ball. The devil in them pills will steady throw them your way just to see if they can tempt you. Stay strong Lady Luv!

    ❤️
    Che
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  6. #36
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    I think I will take you both up on your suggestions...... Meditation and water a real cleanse of mind and body. After I get more sober days I plan on quitting my Newports. Give myself a couple days before I'm willing to give up my caffeine. Thank u for your kind words.
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  7. #37
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    I must say I thought my sense of humor my laughter. Like the feel good laugh and my quick witted sarcasm died with my sister but it's still in me. I guess I felt so empty because of the pills. I always believe that I really couldn't feel laughter or anything since shes been gone. I was wrong

  8. #38
    Forceout is offline Member
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    Hello Sodone,

    I'm terrible about assuming gender. My bad. I'm an old bachelor guy, never been married and no kids. I've never found a good fit I guess. Lol. Anyway, you keep up the good work. The road for me has not been all candy and nuts. Some good and not as good days.

    I will say that the good days make all the tougher days worth the pain and misery of stopping the pills worth it in so many ways. I saw a pain management doctor or one of many for five long years every month.

    It seems, looking back, that all I ever thought about was pills and doctors. When I needed to travel, thought about supply. When holidays come up or long weeekends, thought about do I have enough pills. Everything revolved around getting and taking pills. Did I have enough pills to.................whatever, you fill in the blank!

    Well, at least, no matter what, I don't give a poop about that silliness any more. That is worth a lot to this ole tired Texas guy. I have a lot left to do in life. I don't need that bother. And most of the time, I feel dang good.

    Just for today, I will find something to be grateful for.

    Forceout
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-06-2017 at 07:50 PM.

  9. #39
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    That's fine Forceout.... I've been called worse that's for sure. Getting good pretty excited my boss said he needs me now so back to work I go,wasnt supposed to go back for a few more days. Snow hit us hard so back to work I go. Pulling cars outta ditches flipping cars back over upright. I still feel weird I think it's more now that boring feeling what do I do with myself feeling. Then anything. I can tell u what it's waaaaayyy better than being sick chasing the next fix. I plan on keeping this diary I never like that word diary..... Imma call this a Captains log to my sobriety for other to see you can do it. My story is alil different from the average. I didn't get hook because of a huge surgery or because my physical pain was unbearable. I come from a different upbringing a different evrioment. I'm just that girl from the hood that took care of her sick parents and one day all the pressure got to me. I was stuck in that moment for awhile but I had an awakening.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-08-2017 at 11:57 AM.

  10. #40
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    I'm having an awful day..... The ups and down seem so incredibly intense. Geez I ready to get to normal. I get glimpses but I'm a afraid if not sooner than later imma cave. I need some normalcy the old me. I can not to this much longer.

  11. #41
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    The ups and downs you're feeling are so typical. You'll have good days and bad days with the good ones coming more frequently and the bad ones diminishing slowly. Just hold on to those good days and remember what you're doing this for. You're getting there and soon they will all be good days!! Keep going!! We're proud of you!!! You got this!! Let it all out. We are here for you!!

    Beef
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  12. #42
    Forceout is offline Member
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    Sodone,

    I hear you on the ups and downs. That's just part of the price in this. Beef hit the nail on the head.....store up those ups and then spend them during the down times. Don't forget the reward here........it is HUGE!!! No more trash in your body. No more anything that goes along with those feelings or life!!

    Please try to remember...some days you have to break it down to an hour at a time or whatever it takes. Think about getting to 1:00 or 5:00 or something, then the tide turns some and it's sunny a while. Soon, not too long; the sunny times get closer together!! I promise they do!! It is mostly a mental thing ....almost totally. Are you getting out? Any exercise? It helped me the most of anything to pass the time, keep me occupied, and most of all....together with lots of fluids.....ran the crud through and out of me faster!!!!!

    Hang tough. The clouds lift!! You got this!!!!

    Forceout
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  13. #43
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    Made it through another day.... Having pretty strong urges but I refuse to fold. I just got to the good part of my life got my job back I'm able to start over. I can't mess this up. So I press onwards. God give me strength.
    Lvg nghtmare likes this.

  14. #44
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    First day off since starting work. My back is killing me. Hands are done I've have nerve damage due to my back problems. I forgot how physically demanding this job is. Everytime I turn my neck to back up my truck I feel like I get an instant headache and I wanna pass out. Geez... Although it's hitting me hard I feel great being in the position to redeem myself and take care of my family. These 12-17hr days are gonna pay off. Please be careful driving out there. I've seen some fatal accidents since I've been back. Be safe

  15. #45
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Proud of You... keep moving forward...
    ***this too shall pass***
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  16. #46
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    SoDone-

    Hey LL (Lady Luv). Thanks for taking time out your busy schedule to stop by & water my garden. I wanted to stop by & return the favor. You, LL, are a badazz! You keep up the good fight & doin the next right thing.

    Then tricky little devils will try to tempt you at every turn. It's all mind over matter at this point on. This is definitely a UFC fight for your life & I know you are the type of chic that don't back down.

    I had to channel your energy when the sky opened up & dumped a chit ton of snow where I'm at. For starters I'm directionally challenged & then follow that up with being a non defensive driver who freaks out when not in control. Yep, is a recipe for ending up in a ditch. I thought of you & managed to keep it slow & low on them streets.

    If you don't mind I'm just gonna go ahead & wrap you up & put you in my pocket- that will make it easier to channel the inner badazz.

    Keep it moving forward LL!

    ❤️
    Che

  17. #47
    BentNotBroken1985 is offline New Member
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    Warm wishes from SoDone's wife..... Chill boo, you sound so desperate and thirsty for my wife's attention. We're supposed to be supporting each other, not being flirtatious with married people. Fall back sweetheart. Have a blessed day. Drive safe.
    Just like a glow stick, sometimes we need to break before we shine!!!

  18. #48
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Wow Bent, welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you feel the need to berate another member here sharing their experience strength and hope. This forum has helped so many without judgement.

    ***Just like a glow stick, sometimes we need to break before we shine!!!***
    Hope you find the Light.

  19. #49
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey bent. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you felt like CC was being flirtatious with your wife but I can assure you that is not the case. We are all just a bunch of recovering addicts trying to motivate and support each other. And yes your wife is a true warrior and she is doing an amazing job on her way to being clean. If you could take a look into CC's pocket you'll find several members that she has picked up and placed in there so she can take them with her. You don't have anything to worry about. Hope you have a great day!!

    Beef

  20. #50
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    BentNotBroken1985,

    If you're going about your recovery the same way that you're coming for my neck then I have no doubt you will have no trouble slaying the beast. You are a feisty one & if I could I would wrap you up & put you in my pocket but I have a feeling you wouldn't like that so much.

    In all seriousness thou, I apologize that my intentions were lost in translation. I was going for more of a Big Momma approach not a stranded on a dessert island one. As hard as it to accept I know I can't be everyone's cup of tea.

    Words are very powerful and have the ability to lift someone up or shoot them right down. I will admit that your words shot me down but thankfully I can read between the lines so I get it.

    I started my journey alone and in the dark so I know the struggle is real. This community here not only saved my life & others but has given us the ability to change them so we can live a new one where opiates are no longer an option. I promise you my souls intention is to pay it forward, the best way I know how, and give back to others what was given to me freely- that's all.

    I will respect your wishes & fall back.

    ❤️
    Boo

  21. #51
    Forceout is offline Member
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    Hey SoDone,

    Just thread hopping around and stopped by to say hi!! I sure hope you had a good day out there. Sounds like your work can be taxing for sure. Take care of yourself and keep your chin up! I am so impressed with your journey!!! Keep fighting the good fight!!! One day at a time!

    We are all so glad you are here. For me, and so many of us, sharing is the only way we keep what we have.

    Forceout

  22. #52
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hello Sodone, I hope you update don't disappear. No matter what life throws at us.
    We are all here to support you.
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  23. #53
    Forceout is offline Member
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    Hey Sodone,

    What up with ya'?

    Just making it around the forum on a Friday night. It is like a ghost town here on weekends sometimes.

    Just stopped by to say Hi!!! Keep the positive thoughts going.

    Thinking about you and hope you're doing well today. Keep on keeping on!

    Forceout

  24. #54
    profDarrenF is offline New Member
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    Why don't try go to rehab centers, local blood labs or treatment facilities. They might help you to cure your addiction.

  25. #55
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    Hey guys..... Sorry for or my wife's rant. She's been through alot... I've been very busy n kinda embarrassed to come n post. Things are well still clean. I have pretty long days about time I get home I'm pretty exhausted. However I will continue to post. It will be a month soon can't believe it. Thanks for the continued support you guys are the best.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 12-17-2017 at 09:35 AM.

  26. #56
    Lvg nghtmare is offline Platinum Member
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    Hey Sodone no need to be embarrassed. We are all here to support you. No judgement here my friend. Coming up on a Month Congratulations I am proud of you..
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  27. #57
    Beefaroni7272 is offline Platinum Member
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    Congratulations on a month comingup. Huge!!!! Feels good right? Trust me it only gets better. Keep doing what you're doing!! We are all here cheering you on. Keep posting and reading. Proud of you!!

    Beef
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  28. #58
    Forceout is offline Member
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    Hey Sodone,

    Great deal on the month without the junk. It's a good feeling right?

    I think it's good you have a job that keeps you so busy and ready for rest at the end of the day. That's a good thing for me, too. No time to dwell on anything much.

    Anyway, Comgrats, again!! You're on the right path now!! So happy for you!! Keep on keeping on!!

    And one more time, I'm glad you are here. I really am!

    Forceout
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  29. #59
    Sodone80 is offline Junior Member
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    So it's been a month..... I just want to thank u guys. During my darkest times threw withdrawal you gave me hope reading and rereading different peoples posts. I knew after that it was a real chance at letting go of those pills and having a real life again. Now I have to deal with the results of choices I have made for so long because of my addiction. I continue to have eye opening moments daily. I must say I can see more and more not daily or anything but little by little me coming back the old me. My habit of grinding my teeth has gotten out of control due to my anxiety but that's an issue I've dealt with since childhood. I still have cravings n they are still around easy access..... But I continue to fight the good fight.
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  30. #60
    ChiefChe is offline Senior Member
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    Congrats on 30 days! Never let your guard down & keep fighting a good fight.
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