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Need advice about spouse
  1. #1
    ssgmedic is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2015

    Default Need advice about spouse

    I have a potentially huge problem. I am an ER RN and married a respiratory therapist. From the beginning she was open about having gone through a Recovery program. She said that her ex was selling her adderall and replacing them with something (can't remember the name of the other drug). When she had an exposure at work one night, she popped positive for the other prescription drug and had to go to a recovery program to keep her license. From the beginning I was also open about how I felt about addiction and that I flat out would not tolerate that stuff in a relationship. I see how it screws >>>> up every day at work and I will not go down that road. Anyway, she completed the 3 year program (including random drug testing). We got married and she tried multiple times to take a test to get her Registry (a level above her current license). She hasn't been able to pass the test and spoke with her doctor about getting back on adderall since she isn't on probation any longer. She was started on adderall about 2-3 months ago.

    I forget what happened to start the discussion but at some point she told me that she had "flushed most of my script down the toilet" because she was upset that she had started smoking again and knew I would be upset that she had started smoking again.

    Then this past weekend I mentioned that I needed to drop a prescription off to be filled. She said that we could drop it off and she would pick it up in the morning when she went run a few errands. I agreed. I had a few (more than 10) adderall left in my bottle at that time. The next afternoon, I woke up and went to take my dose and thought the bottle looked a few shy (should have been almost to the top considering that there were an extra 10-15 pills left from last script) so I counted. I counted 62 pills three separate times. My wife said that she had already tossed the old bottle and attributed it to the pharmacy counting wrong. Maybe the ease with which she blamed someone else, or knowing her history, I became suspicious. Later that afternoon she wasn't at the house, so I checked her purse, bags and any other place I could think that she may have put the meds. In her purse I found the other 5 meds that she is prescribed (for couple of other conditions) but no adderall bottle. I couldn't find it anywhere. Later that night, I asked if I could have one of her adderall for some studying but didn't want to take one of mine because I would be up forever. She told me that she leaves her script in her locker at work. Then she proceeded to tell me that she was almost out of meds and had only enough to get her about a week shy of her next appointment.

    This made me more suspicious about the whole situation, so I counted my meds last night after getting home (58 and I had taken those that were missing). I went to bed and counted again this afternoon after I woke up to find 57 in my bottle.

    I plan to keep counting twice a day and keeping track of that. Other than that I have no clue what to do. I don't know what kind of info I need to keep track of and definitely have no idea of how to confront her about this. Any help would be greatly appreciated. I do know that if I find definitive proof that she is stealing my meds and abusing hers, I am done. We have had a great relationship to this point but I refuse to try to monitor her behavior every day to ensure she doesn't screw our lives up.

  2. #2
    Thisweekforsure is offline Advanced Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2014


    If I were in your situation I would keep counting and document my findings in a written record. At the same time learn the laws in your state and set things up to protect myself financially, if I were serious about ending the relationship if she is indeed lying to me, stealing my meds, and abusing drugs.

  3. #3
    cc1985 is offline New Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2015


    Every one has their own limits as to when they have had enough and want to call it quits. I'd keep counting. If you are 100% sure then confront her. The longer you put it off the crazier you will make yourself. My husband has put me through so much I have to check every pair of socks in his drawer. Under the ligning of his shoes, pockets of the clothes hanging in the closet etc. He can not have access to any money and recently I've taken the car away from him. Its been 3 years of this and a lot more with him. I'm losing my mind! This is my last effort... If he messes up Its his loss. We have a 1yr old daughter and I will not put her through this as she grows up. Good luck.
    Last edited by Anonymous; 08-29-2015 at 02:08 PM.

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