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Need help! I have to stop!
  1. #61
    The Husband is offline Member
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    Afternoon evenings were always the worst for me I could make it till like 3-4 be a sorta functional part of the house then I would curl up in the bed during the initial w/d I found not being in the house made it less noticeable but if that is not an option Epsom salt hot baths or any form of exercise was the only things that helped. It will pass but is beyond irritating

  2. #62
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Yea I figured a hot shower will help. Chills have picked up too. Just a bit longer and I can jump in. Should I takr Tylenol or something to help pain?

  3. #63
    The Husband is offline Member
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    I took Advil liquid gels 3 at a time and when it was its worst add 2 Tylenol to the mix. Are you taking anything with dmx it is a cough suppressant that helped but not a cure all also lots and lots of potassium and vitamin b-12.

  4. #64
    Kaidog is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaminiWalker View Post
    And at *this moment* I am certain that I would refuse. I've gotten this far. Mainly by folly and >>>>>ing but I do want freedom. This will pass. It is not forever. I can endure what I can't afford.
    Words cannot express how proud of you we are. Just look at it like not wanting to throw away the progress you've made. Sometimes I feel like actually making the decision..............and MEANING IT, is the hardest part. You are showing tremendous internal strength and toughness. That just confirms that you can do this.

    Every hour brings you closer to the finish line.
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  5. #65
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Well. ..that was fun. Parents are home. House is no where near perfect. Had bad day with kids on top of everything else. Mom just went to absolute rage. Evidently cleaning poop and pee off floors and walls because it was a sensory thing for some reason and no amount of correction fixed it was doing nothing. Yes not every piece of laundry is folded. But dishes are done. No floors are not mopped, expect in spots, they were swept. The kids were healthy cleanish and fed. Taken out to play outside four times. Dogs taken care of. I warned her I was sick, had migraine and that was tough day with boys. She got in my face. Now...I'm big. I'm six foot bare feet. She is maybe five n half. Normally because of respect I back off n let her go off. Today I snapped. Not sure if I have a place to live now. The unwritten rule that she can say n do anything without consequences was broken.

  6. #66
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Thank you so much! I am actually trying. I hate feeling weak right now but it will be worth it

  7. #67
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    She expects you to do everything in the house? Your going through a lot, maybe just apologize say you weren't feeling well and had a hard day with the kids...may I ask if their dad is in the picture? Looks like you never have a break

  8. #68
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Yes. Everything including errands, taking care of and training dogs are my responsibility. Usually its done and perfect. Today not so much. I did the best I could. That I will swear to. But the kids had an off day too. So that trew it all further off kilter. No. Their father has never seen my youngest and hasnt seen the oldest since nine months old. They are four and three now. My "jobs" are not considered work. They are chores. I don't have to "work" like she does so...it had better be done when she gets home. She doesn't know that I am coming off so no expectations. I am just being lazy.

  9. #69
    Kaidog is offline Member
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    I agree. You've got WAY too much on your plate. You are a daughter and a mother, NOT a slave.

    Pick you battles right now. I'd just apologize, say you're feeling really sick.................and actually thank your parents for opening their home to you and the kids.

    Getting evicted right now isn't a good idea.
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  10. #70
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    I knew how this would be when I moved back in with the kids. I agreed to take of things in exchange. But there aren't allowances made. It is possible to just be sick or hurt without a motive

  11. #71
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    I can't apologize right now. I am still too mad. My mother has earned the right to say a lot to me without me batting an eye. But...some things just should be over with. Tho my headache is gone but now stomach cramping. I am planning on getting out of her but o need financial stability. Things are always better when I don't live her

  12. #72
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    Damin I can't imagine what your dealing with at home... First finish this withdrawal and then you will see all the positive that will come from it.. You will be able to focus on yourself and getting yourself and your kids out of the abusive environment. Are your parents good to your kids?

  13. #73
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Yes they are. They things I can't provide they do. The boys never really go without. I may have to to pay it but they get whatever they need. They just don't take care of them. "Watch" them. That's all me. But umm yea that's my job! I'm mommy! On a bright note my youngest just started using the potty today!
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  14. #74
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    36 free! Been awake around 39 hours. I'm wiped. Can't sleep tho. All day o swear if I had laid down I would have been asleep in a second. Now I can sleep....I can't! !

  15. #75
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Everytime I am falling off to sleep my right leg keeps going! I was hoping cause I am so tired that I would go straight down but my leg is just dancing

  16. #76
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Yay another update! Still can't sleep. Had to get up and move around. Sitting watching stars. Its...nice. leg is only bothering me a lil bit now. Some coldness and shivers but...I feel ok! Is it going to stay like this? No headache, no nausea, no aching (two midol complete and a prescription naproxen saved the day!) Just...me..being ok! Wow! Even if it doesn't last past tonight and tomorrow is horrible I am gonna try to remember that I FELT OK! And if tomorrow brings the wds back I will get here again!

  17. #77
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Ok...I have been awake since tues 5 or so am. It is now thrus 2 am. I haven't slept. I thought I would pass out cold tonight. I've been trying. But my legs are going crazy and I was starting to hurt again. Took another naproxen and a zanaflex

  18. #78
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    Damin sorry you had a rough night.....today is another day and im sure it will be a good one!
    how are things with you parents?

  19. #79
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Still awake! Haven't slept in days. I was begging and praying for sleep last night. And the calm before the storm is over. Stomach head and body are back to freaking out.
    Things are ok with them right now. I've been warned that things BETTER be normal today.

  20. #80
    Kaidog is offline Member
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    Hey Damin:

    For me.......................and for most of us, nighttime is absolutely the worst. For most, at around day three or four you will get 4 - 5 hours of sleep but regular (whatever that is) sleep patterns will take some time to set in. What has always amazed me is that I would feel pretty good the next day after only 4 hours of sleep. Go figure. Try some Nyquil. Swill a quarter of a bottle if you need to.

    You have come so far and have been a real trooper during it all. Hang in there and it will all be behind you very soon.

  21. #81
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Nyquil will have to wait until tonight. I wish I could sleep during the day, if my body let me. I would have been ecstatic with two hours. I have to sleep soon. I am looking like I am on speed again.

  22. #82
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    Damin... just get thru the day and do what you gotta do so your parents will be happy. Then take some nyquil and hopefully tonite you will get sleep.
    Your doing great...so happy for u!

  23. #83
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    72 hours in and I'm waffling. I hate it. I think I am in the home stretch now. But I am so very tired. I don't have any energy it seems to fight

  24. #84
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    damin so maybe get a good rest in now and then get house chores done....your almost there!

  25. #85
    Kaidog is offline Member
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    Hang in there girl. Refind that mental toughness you've been drawing on. You've almost got this whipped. Every tick of the clock, every minute, every hour brings you closer to full recovery. View the pain and cravings and discomfort for what it truly is.............................your body waging war against the demons who desperately want to regain control.

    God as my witness, you can win this.........................and you've already made amazing progress. To cave in now would just mean that you'll need to go through all this again, except that next time it will be more difficult......................and during your time of use, you will be filled with self loathing and feelings of failure.

    Seize upon the hours of victory. Be angry at the addiction. Fight it with everything inside of you.

    I KNOW you will prevail.
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  26. #86
    jessabellc is offline New Member
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    If u haven't already picked up which i assume u have (not to insult jjust from my experience feeling likw ur feeling and going thru what ur going thru.) addicts can rarely stop when they are on the verge of loaing evverything. they stop sometimes after losing everything. took 6mos of na for me to feel ok about it. they tell u to keep coming back for a reason. try differrnt homegroups. Ill go to any if it means staying clean the "topic" groups that do readings tend to stop the war stories. I'm low. energy six days after stopping suboxone and suprisingly the only thing that helps is double dose of advil and immodium. i know that. melatonin is the only reason i fall asleep every night. NA works. the in person support can really hellp keep u clean.

  27. #87
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    Damin where r you???
    was hoping to hear how your feeling!
    let us know

  28. #88
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    Damin i really hope you didn't give up....not sure where you are and why your not updating us....hope you've just been too busy and in bed...good luck

  29. #89
    Kaidog is offline Member
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    Hey Damin:

    I hope you're checking in...........................and I just wanted to tell you, to reassure you, that no matter what, we care about how you are doing. If you are still hanging in there, good for you. If you've stumbled, please know that there's not a person here who hasn't stumbled themselves. I've done it many times myself.

    Whatever's happening, throw us an update.

  30. #90
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    Kaidog ....hope she's ok!!

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