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Need help! I have to stop!
  1. #91
    Kaidog is offline Member
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    [deleted - swearing]
    Last edited by Anonymous; 06-28-2014 at 05:01 PM.

  2. #92
    Sundwn is offline Member
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    I'm with you guys......I've been reading these posts and my heart goes out to this girl. I am behind any and all of us who succeed or fail and get back up. But there is something very special about this one that is tugging at the strings. I sure hope she comes back on. If she has caved then maybe she can get back up by coming back to the forum. Of course, none of us are there,where her home life is concerned. But from what I am reading. It sounds borderline abusive. Like some 19th century Oliver Twist story. Anyway, wonderful support from all of you. Lets hope she returns with good news. But return either way.........SD
    Last edited by Anonymous; 06-28-2014 at 05:01 PM.
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  3. #93
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    wish she would just let us know either way shes ok. Either way were all here for you!
    she has so much on her plate, were all here for you Damin...let us know your ok!

  4. #94
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Damin,

    Are you still reading? No matter the circumstance, you can come here and get support. We all do really hope that you've gotten busy and perhaps have been able to find a bit of sleep so you just don't have time. Remember, though that you HAVE to make the time for yourself to vent, get things out and seek support. This Forum is a really good place to start especially because it sounds as though you don't have any elsewhere. No matter what's going on, you won't find judgement here, promise. There are those here that have been faithful in following your journey(Iwanttobeclean). You've got her and others concerned. Jump on and say, "I'm good, but busy" or "Ut Oh" (hope it's not he latter, but if it is...so what...been there done that and eventually with determination you'll get there and get it right). Come on now. Do I have to hire a private investigator? A cyber hack to track you down? Narc to your Mom? Get your butt here and say hey.

    Peace,

    Cat
    Last edited by Anonymous; 06-29-2014 at 04:33 AM.

  5. #95
    topfrog is offline Junior Member
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    i have just read this whole thread and i must say you guys rock,
    i really hope this girl is ok, in fact i bet she is.

    if you are reading this DAMIN your fight has inspired me,
    today i joined this site to help me get off norcos.15 a day
    i read all your struggles and told myself SHE can do this with all that on her plate,
    why cant i?
    i hope you see this and i hope your doing ok and all the >>>>>> feelings are gone!
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  6. #96
    Sundwn is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by topfrog View Post
    i have just read this whole thread and i must say you guys rock,
    i really hope this girl is ok, in fact i bet she is.

    if you are reading this DAMIN your fight has inspired me,
    today i joined this site to help me get off norcos.15 a day
    i read all your struggles and told myself SHE can do this with all that on her plate,
    why cant i?
    i hope you see this and i hope your doing ok and all the >>>>>> feelings are gone!
    Welcome to the forum TF. I'm guessing like most of us.you did a bit of " lurking" as they say. Before signing on. You will most definitely find support and the boost in confidence you need to make this journey. Not sure if you have done so, because I haven't looked. But, if not, you might want to start your own thread in " need to talk". Along with length of time you've been on 150 mills of narco, etc. That way, we can read your story and find you on a daily basis. I have been exactly where you are. Same amount ( or more). Do not know if you plan to jump and CT or wean off. Which ever you decide. Good for you. Your most likely at that place where you only take them now to feel normal. Yea, crazy isn't it?.......but you can do this. And like I said. You'll find a lot of support from folks just like you.......SD

  7. #97
    Comeback Kid is offline Senior Member
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    Still thinking about you Damin. Check in with us no matter your situation please. We are here to help as best we can. God bless you girl.
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.
    Clean as of 5.29.2014

    "Do you have another day 1 in you?"

  8. #98
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    Adam crazy Damin still MIA, wish she knew how much we really cared. After a week we are still checking on her.
    Damin if your reading just let us know your ok, please!

  9. #99
    g girl26 is offline New Member
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    hi how are you? i just joined this group i wondering please are you OKAY? as i was reading i was saying this this woman is going through hell and this is she NEVER has to feel like this again remember that . so if you can if your up to it let me know how you are doing. i am one year and two months clean and still fighting alot of battles but i am almost at the end, and at the end me eleven year old daughter stands ready for me to take her home.so dont give up i hope you are feeling better..I KNOW YOU WENT THROUGH HELL.. withdrawl is something we should never have to feel in our lifetime
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  10. #100
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    I'm alive. I slipped. On all the things. It was a bad day. My mother wanted me dead. Drunken rage or not. When I screamed just shoot me and handed her a gun she tried. I'm pretty numb. I'm sorry I caused worry here. I did what I'mbest at. I ran. Took my boys to my bbrother. And for a day I killed every feeling. I sobered up came and got my kids. I had to come back. I realized I had no where to go. I dont understand why. I was so >>>>ing close. If I had another day or two I would have done it.I'm back to being the perfect automaton here. I know I'm depressed but I can't find it in me to care. No one believes me here. I don't know why dad keeps covering this up for her. I know I am 34 years old but back to feeling like a kid again. Maybe if I do extra she will see me and care. She would have killed me if the gun was loaded. I told her it was. I'm not sure what I want anymore. I'm sorry that I disappeared from here. I kept getting notificationsfof replies but I couldn't read them. I think it was easier to believe no one gave a >>>>.
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  11. #101
    Catrina is offline Diamond Member
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    Damini,

    I'm glad you decided to check in and update us. I'm not even going to do the cheerleading or give you more advice (at least not with this post). I want to share something about me, and I hope it's the short version--I'm not good with short versions. I'm a lot A LOT older than you, at least in years. For probably my entire life, or most of it because I really can't identify when it happened, the approval and acceptance of EVERYONE especially my family was a huge priority of mine and dictated almost every decision I made in one shape or form. I never looked at it too closely but suffice it to say that although it isn't the only reason I ended up an addict, I'm certain it had something to do with it. Some years ago, a dear friend of my asked me, "When did you decide you don't deserve to be loved?".

    Damini, when did you decide that you don't deserve to be loved?

    Peace,

    Cat
    Iwanttobeclean and Sundwn like this.

  12. #102
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    Damin wow that's intense but I literally am in tears that your alive and well. Do you see how many people here care about you? It's not a joke we are all here for you but please let's do this for good now! How are your boys? Did they witness that? Are you still in your parents house?
    alexnt likes this.

  13. #103
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    Damin its been a few days since you last posted, i wanted to let you know we are all still here for you if you want to talk.

  14. #104
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Hey everyone. .Sorry I haven't posted. Been living out of my car past couple days. I couldn't stay there any longer. My boys saw what happened last time and I was terrified that she would try but be successful next time. Been trying to find somewhere for us to go. Luckily theboys been able to stay with my brother for now. On a bright note I have been sover close to 36 hours now. Maybe what happened was for the best? I'll check in when I can find Wi-Fi again. Trying to find some place to take a shower! :-) Thank you for caring! Knowing that y'all are here helps A LOT!
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  15. #105
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    Damin my heart goes out to you...so happy your getting clean. Can i just promise you one thing, and thats when you get clean everything will get better and work out. Its the addiction that does this to us, it ruins our lives wether you want to believe it now but you will soon enough. Good luck were all rooting for you!

  16. #106
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Still alive and still clean. Today has so far been the hardest day. Shivering and shaking, vomiting etc. No luck with finding a place yet but with the way I look and feel right now I can't blame them really. Hopefully I'll be on the other side soon and can get myself put back together. Still holding on!

  17. #107
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Wowwowowow! I can't believe I just did it! Ran into one of guys I got from at gas station. He said I looked bad and when I told him it cause I am coming off them he offered them free. I said NO. Huge huge thing with as >>>>>> as I feel. I just don't think in a couple days I can start this again. I want free! So happy and amazed that I don't even feel so bad right now.
    Iwanttobeclean and Sundwn like this.

  18. #108
    Ana Abigail is offline Member
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    I am so proud of you! You can do this! I'm on my first day and I know that the worst is ahead of me but I have to do this. For my life and my sons! Great job. Btw, where do you live? Random but I'm in Texas and I saw you were too

  19. #109
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    So can you Ana!! It isn't easy, I've failed a lot because I gave up, but it can be done. Thank God for this forum! The people here have been the one thing that keeps me fighting! I'm in McKinney. About 45 miles north of Dallas. You? I'm so happy that you are doing this! We can be so much more than zombies for our children!

  20. #110
    Ana Abigail is offline Member
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    I'm in plano!

  21. #111
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    Damin and Ana Abigail you guys will get through this....its not easy but you'll get through the worst and im telling you you'll be so happy you did it. Damin that right there showed your strength and that you can and will beat it this time. There is not going back now! I just cant believe that i have not taken a Percocet in over a month. I have never felt better....i was a heavy user...taking up to 600 mg a day...i prob would have died if i continued. My heart used to palpitate and i have kidney issues, pain in my arms and legs and since i have stopped all that has gone away expect for rls. lets do this for our kids!
    good luck you can do it!

  22. #112
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    Damin checking in hope your doing ok....please update us

  23. #113
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    I'm still holding on. Still really sick. I thought it would be over by now. I'm not sure where I am finding the strength right now. Guess I don't want to give upwhen have so much agony iv gone through to get here. Situation is still the same. Living in my car. Chol are with my brother until tomorrow. I have no clue what I am gonna do then. I thought I would be feeling better and could make something happen....Just got to keep going. Can't give up now
    Iwanttobeclean likes this.

  24. #114
    janetadams is offline New Member
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    If you would like to stop it, then stop it yourself. No need to ask others. If you still feeling something bad after stopping it, then please contact your doctor to take prescriptions. Everything will become good.

  25. #115
    DaminiWalker is offline Member
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    Hey everyone! Well...great news! I'm still clean! And finally feeling better! Its amazing once I stuck it out that my life changed completely. Thank you to all of you who stuck it out with me! Kids and I have our own place! !! While it isn't the greatest and we don't have much, its ours!

  26. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaminiWalker View Post
    Hey everyone! Well...great news! I'm still clean! And finally feeling better! Its amazing once I stuck it out that my life changed completely. Thank you to all of you who stuck it out with me! Kids and I have our own place! !! While it isn't the greatest and we don't have much, its ours!
    Damin thats great news!!!!
    So happy you were able to do it...i am sure your kids see the change in you and im sure they are happy to have their mommy back!
    Have you been speaking to your parents? i am happy you moved out clearly wasn't healthy.
    happy to have you back here....update us
    michele

  27. #117
    ecotime47 is offline New Member
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    Yes!!!!! I am so proud of you. Keep it up!

    **Alive in Him**
    Last edited by Anonymous; 07-25-2014 at 03:44 PM.

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