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Need help with signs,symptoms, and options to help my boyfriend of 2yrs to stop pills
  1. #1
    SavingGrace is offline New Member
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    Default Need help with signs,symptoms, and options to help my boyfriend of 2yrs to stop pills

    I have been trying to get him to quit since i found out he started doing them. That was 3 months into out relationship. This past year, He says he has cut down significantly and says he now only does 1-30mg perk every 3-4 days. We have not been intimate in over 5 months. I can feel him and i growing further apart every time he admits to me when he does a perk, and every time he hides it from me. He has a good job, but is somehow always broke. Ive offered my help to manage his finances, but he refuses to take it. Maybe because he doesn't want me to find out how bad his habit really is? Ive randomly drug tested him(he's failed everytime) and have threatened to leave him three times if he can't aleast be honest with me(still cant be honest with me without me asking every few days if he's done any, and he usually has). I use to yell and get upset when i found out he did them..but ive reached the point now of disappointment and all i can do is cry. This past christmas, he made a promise to try his very hardest to quit. Since he made that promise on Monday, he had done 1 perk every day, 3 days prior. Was that him and his last hoo-rah? What signs do i look for that he is continuing to do them? What signs do i look for that he is experiencing withdrawals(i.e. is diarrhea one?) Im a strong believer that everyone has a purpose on this earth. And I believe my boyfriend and I crossed paths because Im meant to help him overcome this mountain and to help him become a better man to me and our future family. Putting the pills aside, i have never met another man in my life that has taken my breathe away and had me head over heels for..ever in my life. Please help me, help him. I don't want to leave him, but if i HAVE to, i won't walk away until I know Ive tried everything that I possibly could have.

  2. #2
    istrvler is offline Member
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    First of all welcome to the Forum. Second just realize you might be on an impossible task, an addict has to want to quit, no one can do it for them. That being said it took me a long time to admit it wasn't chronic pain but addiction that kept me on the meds I was on. It doesn't matter if you get them from a doctor like I did or on the street and addict is an addict. We lie to ourselves and we will lie to others even the ones we love. I was lucky enough to quit with my wife. We are both chronic pain patients but were taking more pills than a terminally ill cancer patient should. We ran out of pills with out doctor out of town and not due back for 9 days so we were forced into it. When we looked back and realized how many pills we were taking, having run out so early and the symptoms we were having due to withdrawals we knew this stuff was poison and we quit cold turkey in the beginning of September.

    You will be able to tell if he stopped (probably won't if he is still taking them) He will have a number of symptoms for 4 - 7 days, days 2 -4 the worse (they were for me). He might not have all of them but will have some and if is really only taking one a day shouldn't have a much as I did I jumped from about 10 Percocet and 4 oxymorphone a day. So the symptoms of w/d stomach cramps, restless legs syndrome, insomnia (big time), runs, could be throwing up, tense, yawning, sneezing a lot, runny nose, restlessness can't sit still. These are just some of them. If he is going through this google the Thomas Recipe it has a list of supplements and vitamins, Imodium, hot showers etc that will help with the w/d symptoms.

    Good luck but remember addicts love their drugs more than anything else sorry to say it but its true and until we realize it ourselves nothing will convince us we are addicts. I hope you can help him but don't beat yourself up if you can't cause as I said he has to do this himself and he has to want it like nothing else, its a tough road for a while the first week of physical issues then mental ones, so if he does quit give him all the support in the world if he doesn't you just might have to leave.

  3. #3
    SavingGrace is offline New Member
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    Thank you so much for your reply. I definitely feel alone and understand this may be mission impossible, but I appreciate your quick response. Just this past month, i got him to admit he has an addiction/a problem. He told me his problem shouldn't be effecting our relationship, but it is. Another thing that has seemed to bother me is that he says he wants to quit, but he can't make any promises that there will be a definite "this is the last time", which is understandable, but I wish there were other things to curb the urge. I will google the Thomas Recipe. Any other advice or any questions you think Im not answering, please let me know. Thank you again so much.

  4. #4
    Faded time is offline Junior Member
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    istervlel has a good point in that you cannot make an addict stop. They have to want to and be emotionally ready to. That is why there is a large failure rate with interventions and some rehab places.

    Having been around someone who was addicted to anything and everything for ten years, it can be hard to tell if they are telling you the truth. Often they have major personality changes between being on a drug and off. Confronting them with their addiction can end badly with either an angry confrontation or the addict finding a new way of hiding what they are doing from you. We all want to believe that the people we love are telling us that truth, and a certain amount does come down to faith in them. You have to decided how much you are willing to accept and when its too much. I'm sorry you are in this situation.

    I suppose you could go someplace with him for a week or so, do his packing and see if his behavior changes, but without knowing if he brought a stash with him or not, it probably wouldn't help. The only way you could really be sure would be to have a blood test run, and I doubt someone is going to agree to that. If they were using, they wouldn't want you to know. If not, it would be an insult. Keep on keeping on. You might consider talking to someone at a rehab place to find out other ways of deciding if drugs are still a problem.

    Faded time

  5. #5
    uk1066 is offline New Member
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    Addiction is a monster. Kicking it is an even bigger monster. I've been there and thank heaven I had the strength to do it.

    If you see flu like symptoms, i.e. runny nose, chills, etc. and other symptoms that you will no doubt notice like extreme irritability and depression, you'll know that he's trying. Meanwhile, you need support in dealing with it all. I won't sugar coat it because it is a real disease. Trust your instincts and I wish you the very best, dear.

  6. #6
    SavingGrace is offline New Member
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    Thank you all very much for posting. It is helping me a lot. The first step is the person admitting the problem, right? After about a year and a half of him hiding and lying about things, i think thats a big step. He took one last monday, then was clean for tues, weds, then thursday his symptoms became unbearable for him. He could not control his loose stool and he was talking about how depressed he was. He caved later that thursday night. He works until 11pm every night and he will stay up and play video games until 4,5, sometimes 6 in the morning..he has told me that he takes a perk while playing video games sometimes, so i wont really notice the insomnia symptom of w/d. Its all around him. He can get it whenever and wherever he wants,.i told him he needs to let go of the ppl in his life he has only dealt with for getting pills, and that took me awhile, but he has let go some of those ppl. But the hardest part is that some of his family members sell to him also and i can't and would never tell him to let them go. But i tried telling him the next step is to get rid of the negative people in his life..and to continue being honest with me. Most days I just dont think Im as strong as i pretend to be. Thank you for helping me guys. I really so appreicate ot and god bless and congratulations to you all for overcoming the struggles you have endured.

  7. #7
    SavingGrace is offline New Member
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    Question: what are your opinions on using suboxone to come off of perks?

  8. #8
    Ashleykay4 is offline New Member
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    Suboxone is amazing. I was addicted from age 16 till 21 n ive been clean for 110 days now all I thought about was pills pills. Every sec. I let myself go so bad that my hair got so knoted tht I had to cut it. But I hit rock bottom and dicided this is it iam quiting. So the first step is wanting to quit yourself. If he is not ready then he will not succed. Then to find plaves n your area that is for addiction and thy will right suboxone. Suboxone is the best thing out there. He will not have any withdrawls nothing. It will get him off of pills.and back to himself. Some people just look at it as oh hes just a pill head etc. But no tue pills take controll and the body needs it and wants more or else u will feel lik >>>> without it. So suboxone blocks all the withdrawl and sickness etc. >> love to help fimd places in your area that help Iif u would lik. And also any more questions Im here

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